Authors: Cecelia Ahern
‘Not any more,’ Kitty said firmly. ‘That’s not who I am any longer. Besides, you hated that part of me.’ She didn’t mean to turn this conversation so serious, not now, not when there was a nursing home bus filled with eleven people and a pedalo waiting for them on double yellow lines, but she couldn’t help it.
Steve fixed her with that look again, the one from yesterday that sent shivers running down her spine. She tried to shake it away, suddenly uncomfortable. ‘Anyway, it doesn’t matter.’ She turned and left the library.
‘Kitty,’ she felt his hand on her arm, ‘I didn’t mean all of those things.’
‘Yes you did.’
‘Okay, some of them. I meant some of them. But I don’t
hate
that part of you, I just didn’t want it to be
all
of who you are and I felt that’s what was happening.’
‘So I’ve taken that on board and I’m never going to be like that again.’
He looked at her disbelievingly. ‘Of all the days … Can’t you be the wicked lying reporter one last time?’
‘So you’re giving me permission now?’
‘There’s a time and a place. Do your worst,’ he smiled.
‘Okay.’ She straightened up and went back to the desk. ‘Hello again, I’m very sorry to bother you but it’s vital that I speak with Edward. I didn’t want to have to do it like this but we’re here about his grandmother, Birdie. She passed away and we really need to tell him in person.’ Kitty heard an audible gasp from Steve behind her and she tried not to smile as the librarian quickly made her way down the hall to get Edward.
Fifteen minutes and dozens of apologies later, they were back on the road and Edward had sat beside his grandmother and was asking twenty questions about the trip ahead.
‘So you’re sure you’re okay?’
‘Yes I’m fine.’
‘You’re not … dying.’
‘Well, we’re all dying, dear, and I’m probably a lot closer to it than you,’ she teased.
‘I wouldn’t say that,’ Molly interrupted. ‘He could go any second.’
‘Especially with your driving,’ he shot back. ‘So whose great idea was it to steal the bus?’
Molly looked away from the mirror and whistled loudly.
‘Did you even think to ask me to drive?’ Edward asked.
‘Oh, yes, there is nothing more I’d love than to spend four hours to Cork in your honky-tonk of metal.’
‘Just because your motorbike is so much more elaborate than mine.’
‘At least it doesn’t break down every five minutes.’
‘At least I actually know how to drive without putting other people’s lives at stake.’
‘What?’ Molly asked, eyes narrowing at Edward in the rearview mirror. ‘What are you looking at me like that for?’
‘I’m just wondering why it’s blue. Of all the colours. Blue.’
‘I chose it to match your personality,’ she shot back.
So Edward and Molly were well acquainted with one another, then. Kitty caught Birdie smiling to herself before she turned to look out of the window.
Kitty stood and made her way to the microphone at the front of the bus. Sam immediately started to whoop and shouted for her to sing, everyone laughed and she had all eyes on her.
‘I’m definitely not going to sing,’ Kitty said.
‘Trust me,’ Steve called out, and they all laughed.
‘I just want to say a few words to you about the trip. I know most of you have no idea what exactly is going on here and I really appreciate you turning up and coming on the journey with me. In fact, to be truthful, it’s all of you who have taken me on a journey.’ She cleared her throat. ‘Sadly, I lost my friend and editor to cancer a few weeks ago and it fell to me to write the story that got away from her. The only clue I had as to what this story is about was all of your names – plus ninety-four other people who couldn’t fit on the bus today.’
They laughed.
‘I had no idea what it was that Constance wanted me to write but the more I speak to you, the more I get to know you, some so far better than others, the more I feel the story is writing itself because you are all remarkable people with fascinating stories and I thank you for sharing them with me. Particularly at a time when …’ She heard the shake in her voice and she stopped to compose herself. That got the complete attention of everyone, all eyes on her, even Molly’s. ‘Keep your eyes on the road,’ Kitty said, which broke the tension and she was able to finish. ‘Particularly at a time when I really needed this. I know that I have pestered and annoyed many of you, that I’ve showed up in your lives when you haven’t wanted me to, to talk about things you may not have wanted to talk about, but again I appreciate your patience and hope that you understand that I have invested everything into you, into getting to know you, into hearing your stories, into doing your stories justice. I have learned a lot from you all, you have moved me and, dare I say it, made me a better person and helped me back on track.’
She could see Ambrose in particular staring at her with that powerful stare.
‘So. Let me introduce you all. We have a long way to go so I’m sure you all will have the opportunity to speak to one another and discover each other’s stories, apart from this man.’ She pointed out Steve. ‘He is not here for his story, he has none, he’s just my friend so don’t talk to him.’
They all laughed and Steve threw her a face.
‘Maybe he’ll tell us your story, Kitty,’ Jedrek shouted from the back, and they laughed.
‘No, believe me, you don’t want to hear that.’
‘You should have read the paper on Sunday,’ Steve shouted down, and those who understood the joke laughed.
‘Thank you for that, Steve. But first I’d like to introduce you to the main woman. Our birthday girl, Birdie Murphy.’ There was a round of applause and everybody started singing ‘Happy Birthday to You’.
The atmosphere couldn’t have been any more special as everybody mixed, mingled and there was a real sense of celebration and jubilation on the bus. When she sat down next to Steve, Kitty couldn’t hide the contented smile on her face.
‘Look at you, happy head,’ he said, ruffling her hair affectionately.
Most of ‘the names’ had gathered at the back of the bus to hear Jedrek and Achar speak about their record attempt.
‘It is a two-man one-hundred-metre pedalo dash,’ Jedrek explained seriously. ‘The current world record is one minute fifty-eight point six two seconds. We can do it in one minute fifty.’
They received many pats on the back for that.
‘You’re going to attempt the record in Cork?’ Eva asked.
‘Our desire was always to do this with our families as witnesses,’ Jedrek said a little sadly. ‘They have been with us for the entire journey, for them not to be here …’
Achar stepped in, more enthusiastic. ‘Unfortunately they could not come with us on this trip but the reason we are with you now is because we know of an adjudicator who will be here in Cork. If we can convince him to come to view our record attempt we can be officially accepted into
Guinness World Records
.’
‘Though we do not need a judge to make a record attempt,’ Jedrek was quick to jump in.
‘No,’ Achar conceded, ‘but their presence is the only way we can immediately know our record attempt has been successful. If you want instant approval of your record, to boost the status and news appeal, then the adjudicator is the way to go. They can give you the official presentation of a framed
Guinness World Records
Certificate. We enquired into getting an adjudicator but it costs five thousand euro to fly one over for the event. We learned that there is an adjudicator in Cork today at a corporate event. If we can convince him to witness our attempt then we will have instant confirmation.’
‘Yes, but it is not compulsory to have a judge at the event,’ Jedrek said again. ‘I just do not want you to get your hopes up for no reason.’
‘What is wrong with getting my hopes up? It seems it is you who has no hope at all already,’ Achar said.
They argued this in front of the others until Archie spoke up. ‘But it’s worth a try, fellas, isn’t it? And if you can’t get the judge? You can do it for all of us as witnesses.’
‘I’ll film it on my iPhone so you can have video footage of you completing the challenge,’ Sam offered.
‘And I’ll be taking plenty of photos,’ Steve added. ‘And it will be backed up by the presence of a journalist who is going to write about it.’
Jedrek, ever the sentimental one, seemed moved by their kind words of encouragement, though he remained cynical over the possibility of acquiring the adjudicator.
While Steve was talking to Eugene about butterflies and how best to grow butterfly-friendly flowers in his allotment, Kitty sat in the seat next to Ambrose.
‘The devil’s-bit scabious will grow in damp and dry situations, the Ragged Robin, primroses, violets, the common dandelion …’ Eugene listed off as Steve nodded his head but didn’t say a word.
‘I really appreciate you coming today,’ Kitty said gently. ‘I know it’s not … easy for you.’ Kitty had meant it in a kind way but it seemed to anger Ambrose.
‘Because of my face,’ Ambrose snapped, turning to Kitty and fixing her with that angry green eye. ‘I know about the conversation you had with Eugene. He shouldn’t have told you what he told you.’
Kitty had to cast her mind back to figure out what she shouldn’t know but she instantly guessed it was the surgery Ambrose was saving for to have the birthmark removed. Eugene had told Kitty that all of Ambrose’s savings were going towards multiple laser surgeries, which would be needed to remove what they called a disfiguring birthmark, though Kitty thought the opposite was true: if anything it did not mar her beauty in any way but added to it; she was like some exotic-looking butterfly that she had framed on her walls. But she doubted Ambrose would believe her if she told her this.
‘We weren’t talking about you in the way in which I think you think we were,’ Kitty said slowly.
Ambrose frowned, confused. ‘Yes, I’m sure you weren’t having a laugh at my expense, or discussing poor Ambrose’s disgusting face. I don’t want you writing about it. I don’t want any mention of my appearance in the article.’
‘The article is about you, Ambrose. If I can’t write about you, I can’t write the article.’
‘Well then, we might as well pull the bus over here because I will not give you permission to mock me in public.’
‘Why do you think I’m planning to mock you? On the contrary. If you must know, and I think you must, the only reason Eugene told me about the laser surgery is because he
doesn’t
want you to have it done.’ Kitty knew she was speaking out of turn but felt it would be harmless to smooth over the obvious misunderstanding between her and Ambrose, and obviously between Eugene and Ambrose. Ambrose couldn’t see how he felt about her.
‘What?’
‘He was comparing you to the butterflies that you both adore and cherish, and he said you were special for all the same reasons: you were rare, exotic and entirely you. He said he thinks you’re beautiful exactly the way you are now. That’s the only reason we were talking about you, I promise,’ Kitty said.
Ambrose’s mouth opened and closed as she tried to process the information. She wanted to be angry, Kitty could tell – any discussion or comment on her appearance immediately made her so – but for once, this didn’t. She eventually closed her mouth and Kitty saw the hint of a small smile.
Kitty had wanted to use this journey to do as she’d promised Gaby, by getting to know Eva better, but quickly after they’d left Dublin, Eva was seated beside Birdie and the two were deeply engrossed in conversation. Edward was sitting in the tour guide’s chair beside Molly and they were arguing about the route to take to Cork to best encompass everyone’s destination. After the city, they could make it to Birdie’s hometown of Nadd by the afternoon, and Eva’s wedding was tomorrow. Kitty had it all planned out, but it was this that caused her to worry: things never went according to plan. Kitty desperately wanted to get in on Birdie and Eva’s conversation but she couldn’t. Instead, Mary-Rose made her way from the back of the bus to where Kitty was indecisively hovering.
‘Kitty, do you mind if we have a word?’ She seemed anxious and so they sat in a row of two vacant seats where Kitty could still hear Steve being lectured by Eugene on how better to help conserve butterflies on his father’s land.
‘Is everything okay?’
‘Yes, everything’s great. Everyone is so polite and very welcoming. It’s lovely to hear their stories, but, em, I’m not really sure why I’m here. You see, everyone has a purpose, they’re all going somewhere or doing something. I really have no idea why I’m here.’
‘I just wanted you to meet everybody. You’re all part of the same reason I met you all. Please don’t feel like you need to do something.’
‘But I feel so useless.’
Suddenly Kitty had an idea. ‘Did you bring your kit with you?’
‘I bring it everywhere,’ she laughed.
‘How about making the birthday girl look pretty for her big day?’
Mary-Rose’s eyes lit up, delighted to be able to do something, and having Birdie distracted by her makeover would also give Kitty an opportunity to speak to Eva.
‘Anyway, you never know, this whole experience might inspire another proposal,’ Kitty joked.
Mary-Rose’s face darkened. ‘Oh, I’m not sure about that.’
Kitty picked up on her mood. ‘Are he and Aoife serious?’
Mary-Rose swallowed. ‘Yeah, I think so, I don’t know, we haven’t really spoken about … her.’
There was a silence.
‘What about your friend?’ Mary-Rose asked, nodding at Steve.
‘What about him?’ Kitty immediately felt uncomfortable, irritated, even. Did Mary-Rose have a crush on Steve? That couldn’t be allowed, surely? Mary-Rose was at least ten years younger than he, better-looking, youthful … she couldn’t possibly be interested in Steve.
‘Does he have a girlfriend?’
‘Oh, yes,’ Kitty said over-enthusiastically. ‘For quite a while now. They’re crazy about each other,’ she said, not knowing if this was true exactly but feeling ill inside at the thought of Mary-Rose with Steve. What on earth was wrong with her?
‘Oh, that’s a pity,’ Mary-Rose said, crestfallen, and Kitty was secretly relieved. ‘I really thought you two would be perfect together.’