One Track Mind (17 page)

He used to sing that in her ear, and he wondered if she remembered. She smiled at him, and he knew she did. He’d been wildly, crazily in love with her then, and he’d finally admitted that he loved her still. But not in the same heedless, reckless,
hell-bent way. He needed to make that clear to her, and hoped she felt the same way that he did.

He leaned forward over his coffee mug and said, “I hate to use the term
you
hate, but after last night, things have
changed
between us.”

She bit the inside of her lip, and then admitted, “I suppose they have.”

“And they haven’t changed. I love you.”

She stared at him in panic. “Shhh!” She looked about to see if anyone had heard.

“I whispered that,” he said in a low voice. “And there’s music on. Nobody could hear.”

“It’s just…” her voice trailed off. She began again. “I…I feel the same about you.”

“Can you say it?” he asked. “Can you say, ‘I love you’?”

“Yes. But not here,” she answered, clearly uncomfortable. “Not yet. I mean, we should be careful. We were so…so headlong before.”

“I know that,” he said as patiently as he could. “But I want to be with you again and again. The way we were last night.”

She looked about nervously again. “I do, too, but…”

“But we should take it slowly,” he supplied.

She gave a sigh of relief. “Yes. Exactly. Take our time.”

He found this ironic since it had taken over twenty years for them to finally make love, but he understood what she meant. He could whisk her off to Las Vegas and marry her before the sun went down. But three months later, she might be back in Nevada getting an annulment. Because this could be a fluke, the way they felt now. It might not last.

“We need to be sensible,” she answered softly.

“Right,” he said, staring into his coffee. “Just see how it goes. I’m not asking you to make any commitment to me at this point.”

“I understand.” She looked solemn and lovely. “We need to find out if…uh…the relationship can work.”

He hated words like
relationship,
but this was no time to quibble. “And I’m not making any commitment to you.”

Suddenly, she looked hurt, and offended, as well. “I didn’t ask you for any.”

“I should have phrased that better,” he said, thinking that he wasn’t very good at this sort of conversation. “What I meant was—”

“I know what you meant.” She sat up straighter, looked away from him.

He plunged on, praying not to bungle this. “But you want us to be discreet. So I have an idea.”

“Yes?”

“What if I bought you a more private place here? Bigger. Nicer. Out in the country. Where nobody else is around to stick their noses in our business. And maybe sometimes you could come stay with me in Charlotte.”

What he meant was that he wanted her mind, her heart, her soul—and her body, too. To know if they could make it as a couple in love, they had to be able to
act
like a couple in love. That, for him, included being intimate. It meant touching each other in ways they touched no one else.

But Lori turned and stared at him in disbelief. He realized he’d botched it, all right. Sparks flashed from her eyes, and she said, “That’s a long way from being discreet. You buy me a
house?
In fifteen minutes everybody in the county would know.”

“I mean I’d give you the money. It would seem like you’re buying a place with your profits from selling the track. These things can be arranged.”

She said, “I don’t want a different house. I don’t want to make sneaky ‘arrangements.’ I’d feel like a kept woman. And I don’t want people thinking that I’m making up to you because of your money or that you’re buying me—”

“Look, I suggested this out of respect for you. My attitude is different from yours. Just let people think what they want,” he countered.

“Yes. It’s
your
attitude. Not mine.”

“The small-town mentality here,” he said, “nearly smothered me when I was a kid. I don’t want to be smothered again.”

Lori gave a huff of frustration. The waitress set down a plate of eggs and bacon before her, but she didn’t touch her fork. “This is already turning out wrong,” she said.

“I’m sorry,” he said. He put his hand close to hers, but didn’t touch her. “Nothing I say comes out right. And I shouldn’t have started this conversation in a public place. We should have gone for a drive in the country.”

“You’re right,” she said.

“Let’s do it tonight,” he suggested.

“Yes,” she said. “Let’s. And now let’s talk about something else.”

“Fine,” he said. “Kent’s coming to test again. Next week. Dean will come, too. They’re willing to do another signing. Some other drivers may join in. We’ll arrange for some entertainment, a picnic.”

She didn’t look excited about that, either. He realized she was still worn out from making all the arrangements for the race last night. So he changed tactics. “But we’ll worry about that later. First, I want you to eat, then get some rest. You’ve worked your heart out, Lori. You’ve gone above and beyond the call of duty. This afternoon, Clyde’ll bring your car to you, and I’ll drive him home.”

He took a deep breath. “Then I’ll come get you, and we’ll take that drive. We’ve got a lot to work out. About you and me. And about the speedway. No matter what else happens, we have the speedway in common. You signed a contract that you’ll cooperate with me for a year. A year’s a long time. We can solve a lot of problems in a year.”

Her eyes were full of wariness, and he knew what she was thinking.
We can find a lot of new problems in a year, too.

And she was right.

He’d changed since he first fell in love with her, but he still belonged to her. And some things about her hadn’t changed: she still belonged to Halesboro. She always had, and he feared she always would.

T
HEY DROVE DEEP
into the woods that evening, and Kane brought a picnic of junk food and expensive champagne. The junk food from Halesboro’s not-so-super supermarket consisted of chicken salad sandwiches from its small “deli,” salt and vinegar potato chips and a plastic cup of coleslaw.

“Wow,” he said, laying it out on the spare blanket he’d obviously taken from his hotel room. “Do I know how to show a girl a good time or what?”

They sat cross-legged on the blanket, across from each other, the food between them. He said, “What do you think? Is this too fancy?”

She gave him a mischievous grin. She felt far more comfortable now that they were alone. “I think you should have asked me to make something. You don’t have to foot the bill all the time. What’s that red glop?”

He stared at it with distaste. “It was two slices of cherry pie when I bought it. I think the crust disintegrated. The way it quivers, it may be trying to become a new life form. We can leave it for the raccoons—if it doesn’t eat them first.”

She laughed, feeling at home with him again. “Next time, I’ll bring the food.”

He cocked an eyebrow. “You mean you’d do this again?”

“Yes. I like it when we have privacy.”

It was a peaceful evening, the breeze cool and piney, and cicadas singing in the trees. The sinking sun made the sky seem lavender and the clouds pink. She thought she heard one of their old friends, a tree frog. She saw Kane tilt his head and listen. He heard it, too.

“I had another idea,” he told her. “First, I apologize for the bit about buying you a house. You’re right. That
was
arrogant. But what if
I
bought a second home here? A place to stay instead of that motel room?”

“You mean like a cabin in the woods or on the lake?” she asked.

“I called Liz,” he said, leaning back and half reclining while he nibbled a potato chip. “She said there’re a couple of
nice properties around. One sounds perfect. It used to belong to a federal magistrate from Pennsylvania. It was his retreat, but he decided to find something closer to home. It’s about fifteen miles out of Halesboro on a private road, national forest on two sides.”

“I remember,” Lori said, brightening. “He had it built. Liz and I went to look at it. It’s a charming little place, a white cottage in the middle of the woods, halfway up a mountain.”

“Three bedrooms, two and a half baths,” Kane said, reaching for another chip. “The furnishings stay. Ten acres with a creek and two waterfalls. Lots of azaleas planted around the house. What about it?”

He reached for the champagne bottle and refilled her glass. “If I bought it, would you come be with me there sometimes?”

She thought. “I’d try. If we could arrange it to be…”

“I know,” he said, mock weariness in his voice. “To be discreet. Never fear. If I have to I’ll personally dig an underground passage dug between your place and mine. Whoa, that’ll be painful. The massages you’d have to give me. Oh—and there’s a hot tub. You’d have to get in it with me and minister to my aching bod.”

“It’s a beautiful view,” she said wistfully. “I remember.”

“My bod?” he asked hopefully.

She swatted him. “The
property
has a beautiful view.”

She tried to give him another swat, but he seized her wrist. “Oh, want to play rough, do you? All right. You’ve got it.”

He easily wrestled her onto her back and pinned her wrists above her head. “I’ve captured you. And now I claim my prize.”

He lowered his face to hers and kissed her, gently at first, but then with growing intensity. She liked it and kissed him back with the same fervor. “Let go of my hands,” she finally managed to whisper.

“Why?” he teased and moved closer to kiss her again.

But she dodged him. “So I can unbutton your shirt,” she said. “For starters.”

It was the boldest, sexiest thing she’d ever said to a man,
but it felt natural and intimate, saying it. One thing led to another, and they made love once more.

Then she laid her head against his bare shoulder and they stared up through the trees at the darkening sky and the stars that seemed to wink down at them as if in approval.

I’m less inhibited,
she thought with surprise.
A
lot
less inhibited.
It was because of Kane, she knew. All these years, her mind, heart, and body had craved him and him alone.

“You know,” he said lazily. “If we practice enough, we could get really good at this.”

She nestled against his chest, and he kissed her ear, her cheek, her throat. She put her hand on his shoulder and nuzzled the hollow of his neck. She thought,
I’ve never been happier. It doesn’t matter if it lasts. I will remember this for the rest of my life.

R
ELUCTANTLY
, they left the mountainside, and Kane drove her home. He walked her to the front door. “I want to say something. If you’re ‘my girl’ again, I don’t want you being ashamed of me. It’s too much like old times.”

“I’m not ashamed of you,” she said. “I’m ashamed of my own…cowardice. You were always a rebel. I was one for a few months, and scared and guilty most of the time. And…and I’m afraid of making a fool of myself over you.”

“You think I might hurt you? I’d never want to do that. But I have the same problem. Love can be scary. Painful. Too painful. We both learned that the hard way.”

“Yes,” she said sadly. “We did. I don’t want to learn it all over again.”

“Me, either,” he said. He kissed his index finger and placed it against her lips. “Will that scandalize the neighbors?” he asked.

“Probably,” she said. “But I think maybe it’s not so much we have an affair, but that we don’t flaunt it. Don’t fling it in everyone’s face.”

He wanted to touch her, draw her close again, she could tell. And she wished she could let him. But he shoved his thumbs into the back pocket of his jeans. “Just don’t flaunt it?” he teased softly. “You’ve come a long way since this morning.”

“I’ve
thought
a lot since this morning,” she answered. “I don’t know how this story ends. But even if it’s a fleeting thing, it’s something I want. I can’t deny it.”

“I want it, too,” he said. “And it’s killing me not to hold you. It’s killing not to kiss you goodbye. I’d better start back
for Charlotte because I feel my supply of willpower running down fast. But at least we could start going out together like a normal couple seeing each other. A…a courtship. I’ll call you tomorrow. And see you on Tuesday at the testing.”

She didn’t want him to go. “I worry about those tests,” she admitted. “You can’t have the security system in place by then. You don’t have all the final estimates yet.”

“Not to worry,” he said. “I’ll have more guards still. And Kent and I came up with a plan.”

“A plan? What?” She backed closer to her door, because the magnetic attraction of him was growing too strong.

“I’ll tell you Tuesday,” he said. “Look, I’ve got to get out of here. It’s very hard for me, this ‘being good’ business. I’ll see you soon and talk to you sooner.”

Then he turned and loped down the stairs and back to his car. He waved at her casually, and she waved back, just as casually. Then she hurried into her house, not bothering to turn on the light. She drew back a curtain and watched him drive away. His absence already saddened her and left her feeling hollow and incomplete.

But then her phone rang, startling her. She switched on a table lamp and pulled out her cell phone. The caller ID told her it was Aunt Aileen.

“So you’re home at last,” Aileen said wryly. “I heard you went off with Kane. Your landlady was kind enough to call and tell me. She said he picked you up late this afternoon. And also that he came to your place last night. That he stayed a long time.”

“Good grief,” Lori muttered in disgust. It had started already. Mrs. McBeebee was like a one-woman broadcast system. “But why’d she call
you?
”

“She thought I should warn you. Said it was foolish for you to act so shamelessly, that everyone could see what was going on, and he just came back here to drag you down to his level, blah, blah, blah, and you should watch it if you ever wanted to teach here again, because you were setting a bad example
for young girls, and that you need to come to your senses before you ruin your reputation completely. So I thanked her.”

Lori’s face grew hot with anger and embarrassment. Incredulous, she said, “You
thanked
her?”

“Indeed,” said Aileen, “I said ‘Thanks, but you really ought to mind your own business. It would be such a novel experience for you.’ Still, Lori, I do have a warning for you.”

Lori blinked hard in puzzlement. “Warning?”

“Advice. You and Kane cared deeply for each other when you were younger. Two decades have passed, but the spark is still there. You’re single. He’s single. But if you’re having an affair, be circumspect.”

Aileen paused. “I never told you this. After my divorce, I had an affair. It lasted seven years. A few people may have suspected. But nobody knew.”

Lori was shocked. “An affair? For seven
years?
With whom?”

“Ben Sandoz. I met him on a theater tour to New York. He was a teacher, too. His wife had early onset Alzheimer’s disease. She was in a nursing home. She no longer knew who he was. He was alone, and so was I. We kept it well-hidden. We saw each other only on school vacations, and never here or where he lived—a little town in Kansas as hidebound as Halesboro. It was emotionally very difficult for both of us. And then, suddenly, he died. Heart failure. I…I never got to say goodbye. But we’d stayed in love in spite of everything.”

Lori couldn’t believe her aunt’s words. Aileen had hidden an affair for
seven years?
“When was this?” she asked.

“Twenty-five years ago. It was difficult,” Aileen repeated, “we didn’t want to be exposed to gossip and criticism. But you face more danger than I ever did. Kane’s well-known. He moves among famous people. Your name could be linked to his not just in Halesboro, but spread all over the country. And you
don’t
want that if you intend to keep living here.”

Lori was struck speechless.

Aileen said, “And remember this. You may grow tired of him. Or him of you. Or you may both decide it wasn’t meant
to be. So for now, just don’t be too reckless. Sometimes the hotter a romance burns, the faster it burns out. Don’t let go of this chance to be with him. But, my dear, don’t throw everything else away, either.”

“I…I think I understand what you’re saying,” Lori replied.

“Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut. Not said anything to you.”

“No,” she answered. “You’ve always been honest with me. And I…I appreciate it, Aunt Aileen. I do.”

“Anytime you want to talk, kid, just let me know. But beware—I’ve got a lot of opinions. One is that whatever you do, it’s not as bad as what Mrs. McBeebee does. She loves nothing as much as spreading suspicion and ruining reputations. Don’t let her sort hurt you. Take care. I love you.”

“I love you back,” Lori said, her throat tight. And when she hung up, she was more confused than before. What Aileen said made sense, yet it seemed contradictory. Be very, very cautious, but not
too
cautious. Love Kane, but not too openly—or too much.

Aileen’s love affair came as a shock to her. How much secrecy and scheming had it taken to fool so many people for so long? And yet, how much comfort they must have brought to each other. But how much fear and bending of the truth, as well? How much duplicity? To keep from being criticized by people like Mrs. McBeebee.

A
PICNIC
,
SO SOON
after the barbecue, taxed Lori, but at least it was simpler. This time she chose another Asheville restaurant to cater, Carolina Style Cookin’. CSC specialized in chicken, ham, ribs and the most famous coleslaw and potato salad in the region.

She booked the High Lonesome Singers from Charlotte, and sent out announcements that not only the Grossos would be back, Roman McCandless would make a rare public appearance, and that he and the Grossos would be photographed with guests to raise money for the track’s renovation.

Lori didn’t like what her father had called “stunts,” but she had to admit that Kane had a genius for promotion—genius and some very important and loyal friends. The tickets were selling out fast, and TV crews were coming from Charlotte, Raleigh and Winston-Salem.

Kane had promised an important announcement about the track, an announcement he was keeping even from Lori. She admired him and wanted, with all her heart, to trust him, but something in her held back, kept her wary. After all these years, their attraction had flared back into life, like a blaze that had died down to the embers only to spring into flames again. But would it quickly burn itself out again, as Aunt Aileen had warned?

If Kane wanted to prove he could have her again, he’d succeeded. Would he want to keep her?

She wasn’t confident enough to believe that, and it was one reason she held back to keep their affair secret. She’d been humiliated by their first romance. She feared facing the same hurt and shame again. And in addition to losing Kane, she’d known the agony of being a betrayed wife, as well. But she did love Kane. For better or for worse.

She told him she loved him over the phone, and he said the same to her. But neither of them spoke any more of commitment—it was too soon, and everything seemed to be happening too fast.

Tuesday, he was back for testing with Kent Grosso, Roberto Castillo and team owner Dean Grosso. He asked her to meet him in his office, and they immediately kissed hello so passionately that Lori broke it off, fearful that their affection would go too far.

“My puritan,” he said with both affection and regret.

“That was my grandfather’s desk. It’s giving off vibes of disapproval.”

Kane kissed her on the tip of her nose. “Go to lunch with me? At The Groove, so I have to behave? I’ll tell you about the security situation.”

“Your and Kent’s plan?” she asked, suddenly worried. She
knew that Kane could take care of himself, and so could Kent, but did they have any idea what—or who—they were up against?

“Can’t you tell me now?” she asked. “I worry.”

“I know,” he said. “But I want time to explain everything. So you can
stop
worrying.”

She nodded in reluctance. “At lunch, then. But, in truth, I’m surprised Kent agreed to this. He’s putting himself at risk again. And he was really upset after the vandalism and I don’t blame him.”

“Kent’s the type who’d rather get even than get mad,” Kane told her. “He wants to get this guy and stop him for good. So do I.”

He kissed her nose again. “And so do you, and you know it. If your dad was alive and well, he’d be going with us. You can’t deny it.”

My father would be proud of you,
she thought.

A
LTHOUGH
T
UESDAY WAS USUALLY
a slow day in Halesboro, people were already coming to town for the speedway’s picnic. The Groove was almost filled, but Kane and Lori found a booth in the back. Lunching business people eyed them with interest. So did the help.

Lori knew that she and Kane were now the town’s hottest item of gossip, and the curiosity wouldn’t go away. She felt intensely self-conscious, but Kane seemed unfazed.

They sat and gave their orders to the waitress. “All right,” Lori said to Kane. She folded her hands tightly on the table top. “What do you plan to do tonight?”

“First,” he said, “we think this has to be an inside job. A lot of people have been working around the speedway. One may have hidden when working hours were over—hidden anywhere, from a VIP suite to a janitor’s closet. Our guess is the infield bathroom and shower building. The outside security doesn’t see him simply because he’s not outside. He spends the night there.”

Lori frowned in puzzlement. “But what about the inside security?”

“He’s already close to the vehicles. He strikes fast and hides again. The infield’s a big area, and the lights keep being vandalized. The security guys don’t stand like sentries; they’re always on patrol. And even they can get bored, tired, steal a few winks. That’s the only explanation.”

“But how could he hide in the building? I’d think that’s the first place guards would check.”

“They’d look
around,
all right. But probably the last place they’d look is
up.
He could hide in the ceiling. I was going through your father’s files. He had the bathroom remodeled in 1998—and put in a suspended ceiling. It has panels and runners. It hides pipes and wiring. An agile person could get in and stay concealed quite a while.”

“You’re sure of this?”

“Yes. It’s been done in other places. Plenty of times.”

“But how does he get in and out of the stadium?” she persisted. “It’s locked when there’s not a race or other event.”

“Suppose he has a key?” asked Kane. “That somehow he got access to a set of keys, Clyde’s or one of the maintenance men’s? And had his own copies made.”

It was possible, she thought. Several people had access to the keys. But it still made no sense to her. “Why,” she asked, “is he striking out at the NASCAR teams?”

“Maybe he has a grudge of some kind. Against them or against this speedway. We’ll find out when we catch him.”

“And how do you plan to do that?” she asked, apprehensive.

“We’re setting a trap. I’ll say I’m going back to Charlotte, but I won’t. I’ll keep watch from one side, Dean and Kent from two other points.”

Apprehension turned to alarm. “If you do that, I want to be there, too.”

“No,” he said firmly. “Because if somebody shows up, it might get rough.”

“Yes,” she said just as firmly. “I’ve got a stake in the speedway’s future, too. Yours is financial. But mine’s emotional, and my feelings are just as strong, probably much
stronger than yours. I mean it, Kane. I have a
right
to be there. If you care for me, let me be there with you.”

He looked conflicted, but he met her eyes. “
If
I care for you? I’ve cared most of my life.”

“Then you’ll let me be a part of it?”

“Yes,” he said. “For a price.”

“A price?” she asked.

“Someday bring yourself to show people that you care for
me.
”

Startled, she set down her fork. “Yes? How?”

“Kiss me in public,” he challenged. “Someday.”

She thought of Aileen’s cautionary advice. And she thought of her aunt’s years of hiding and secrecy. She thought of being frightened by snoops and gossips like Mrs. McBeebee. And most of all, she remembered how fear and secrecy had helped tear her and Kane apart the first time. An urge to rebel went burning through her veins like liquid fire.