Read Only the Lonely Online

Authors: Laura Dower

Only the Lonely (6 page)

Chapter 5

M
ADISON LOOKED AT THE
Simpsons
calendar Mom had stuck up on the fridge. Exactly four days from today junior high was starting. Madison had drawn a giant red circle around the date: September 5.

Madison dialed Fiona’s number, but hung up right away. She decided it was Fiona’s turn to call her instead. She didn’t want to appear like a clingy friend, after all.

Now that Madison was going to be a seventh grader, things like when-to-call etiquette had taken on greater importance. Aimee had always been the one who paid attention to stuff like that, but Madison was trying to figure it out on her own now.

Distractedly, Madison flipped through a copy of a teen magazine Mom had picked up at the supermarket checkout, staring at the pictures of girls in mini-skirts and super-high platform shoes. How did they stand in those for more than five seconds? How did they bend over?

All the models were wearing glitter makeup and gobs of lip gloss. Madison thought about wearing lip gloss on her lips. Strawberry-Kiwi Smooch was the best flavor and it tasted like candy when you chewed it off. Madison liked Root Beer flavor, too, of course, but that was harder to find.

She wondered if boys liked the way lip gloss tasted when they kissed a girl. Did lip gloss flavor taste different if you chewed if off someone else’s lips? Madison had never kissed anyone, so she didn’t know from personal experience.

Who else wore lip gloss? Aimee didn’t. She hated makeup of all kinds. (Her family, including all four older brothers and their basset hound Blossom, were into granola and all-natural
everything.)

Did Fiona wear lip gloss? Madison couldn’t remember. Had Fiona ever
kissed
someone (besides her parents, of course)? Madison would have to ask her about that.

A few pages after the platforms and lip gloss spread, Madison randomly opened up to a quiz titled “Are You Friends to the End?” She grabbed her favorite orange pen, the one with a Florida navel orange-shaped eraser on top.

1.   You have a big algebra test and you haven’t even cracked open a book! The night before the test you call your best friends and ask them:

a)   If you can sit nearby and cheat off their test the next day!

b)   To come right over and help you cram for the exam!

c)   If they will help you make up an excuse so you don’t have to take the test!

Madison couldn’t imagine who would ever pick a) or admit to picking a). She didn’t cheat. In fact the entire quiz seemed stupid and obvious. It wasn’t exactly the kind of “are you friends?” quiz Madison had hoped for. She was looking for some concrete advice. She also wouldn’t make excuses as c) suggested, so Madison selected b).

2.   Your mom grounds you and you’re stuck at home on the night of the coolest party of the year. You:

a)   Call your friend and beg her to blow off the party and stay with you instead.

b)   Call your friend and wish her a good time at the party! You can’t wait to hear all the details!

c)   Call your friend and cry into the phone. Your friend will listen to anything.

Madison selected b) again. She could tell already how this quiz was turning out. She was a “b)” type, which probably meant something like: honest, caring, straightforward, and all that. Sometimes (like right in the middle of this quiz) Madison turned into the “nice” friend. She was sick of that. Sometimes she wanted to be “wild” or “spontaneous” or even a little outrageous. She knew she
must
have those qualities in her somewhere, even though she was the person who always got too embarrassed to even
speak
and usually ran as far away as possible when confronted with any kind of conflict whatsoever.

“Maybe seventh grade will be when I finally take a few more chances,” she said hopefully, moving to the next question.

3.   Your best friend is away at camp, and you’re so bored! Then you meet a new friend in your neighborhood and you start hanging out. Do you:

Madison reread the question
slowly.
What were her choices?

a)     Kick your best friend to the curb! There’s a new friend in town!

b)    Tell the new friend that you like her but you already have a “best” friend.

c)     Try to see if the two friends might like each other so you can be a trio instead of two against one.

Madison started to over-think
every
answer. This was a question pulled from the pages of her life.

What really would happen when Aimee did get back? What would happen once school started? What if Fiona and Aimee hated each other?

Answer a) was definitely out. Madison didn’t have a mean bone in her body, and she wouldn’t kick anyone to any curb.

Was c) the right response? Madison wasn’t sure.

She played it safe and circled b). After all, she told herself, she and Aimee had been best friends forever and
that
was that. You can have a lot of different friends but you only have one really, truly, madly, deeply, true-blue friend. That was Aimee Anne Gillespie, not Fiona Waters. Not yet.

Madison’s head hurt from thinking so much, so she went online to check her e-mail again. This e-mail checking was addictive!

Today the list was longer than usual but it wasn’t all friends. ShnaZZy’s clothing was having a sale on platform shoes Madison would never, ever wear. Some Joke-A-Day service addressed their message to Attn: Mr. Madison Funn. She deleted them both.

Madison decided to send a few new e-mails instead of just sitting around waiting for everyone to write her. She dashed off a note to Dad and sent Egg an e-mail asking how camp was just to annoy him (because of course, camp was O-V-E-R). Finally, she started a note back to Bigwheels. She hadn’t written her terrific TweenBlurt.com friend an “official” e-mail yet. Bigwheels seemed pretty hip. Maybe she had some friendly advice to share?

From: MadFinn

To: Bigwheels

Subject: me with a question

Date: Fri 1 Sept 10:41 AM

Hello? I hope this is the right e-mail address. Thanks for your message the other day. I think this whole keypals thing is a good thing.

Okay so I’ m having a not-so-great day so maybe you can cheer me up? I hope so.

The funniest thing about keypals is that for some reason I feel like I could tell you anything. Do you feel that? You really have to know me to know how incredible that is because I am the kind of person who turns beet red and can’t form complete sentences when I’m embarrassed. But the jitters go away on e-mail. Like now. Okay, so what else do I wanna say?

What is school like 4 u Washington? Why do they start so early there?

If you can believe it I have no idea what my school is even like b/c I have only seen it from the outside. I told you it’s Junior High. How do you stop yourself from being so nervous about all the new school things? Do you do something? Do you have any pets? Do you have any brothers or sisters? Do you believe in God?

I guess I have a lot of questions. You don’t have to answer any of these, of course, but it would be cool if you did. I guess if we’re going to be keypals we should be honest with each other.

Yours till the chocolate chips,

MadFinn

p.s. write back or else!!!

As Madison finished her e-mail, an IM box popped up on her screen.

Insta-message to Madfinn

<>: Wanna talk?

Madison didn’t recognize the screen name. It was some random person online. Both her Mom and Dad told her never to respond to people she didn’t know. Madison deleted the dialogue box and then clicked offline.

Right after she closed down her computer, the phone rang. Madison nearly jumped out of her skin. Madison did the phone call math inside her head. This call was definitely from Fiona.

She had
said
she would call, after all.

“Got it, Mom!” Madison yelled, catching it on the fourth ring, gasping into the receiver, “Hello?”

“Ma-di-son?” a boy’s voice taunted.

That wasn’t Fiona. That was …

“Egg!” Madison exclaimed, happy to hear his voice but unable to totally mask her disappointment. She’d been crossing her fingers for Fiona.

“Whassup!?! I am back as of like twenty minutes ago thanks to my dad busting the speed limit all the way from Vermont and we are so hanging out today! Yes we are, you and me and—”

“Egg?” Madison tried to get a word in. “Why don’t—”

“Hey, hey, hey! Maddie, you didn’t say anything about my e-mails! Did you get my e-mails? I have so much to tell you and I have the coolest new thing to show you and—”

“Egg? Why don’t you just come over!” Madison barked.

“Okay,” Egg barked back.

She threw herself across the living room sofa. From where she was draped, she could see the kitchen stove’s digital clock readout: 11:11. She made a wish on the numbers. (When four ones lined up like that, your wish was supposed to come true, or at least that’s what Egg’s older sister Mariah always said.) Madison wished Fiona would just call already.

“Hey, Mom, did anyone call this morning?” Madison cried out.

“The phone just rang, dear, didn’t you pick it up?”

“No, like maybe when I was asleep late and you just forgot to tell me?”

“No, honey. No one called. Check the caller ID.”

Now the clock said 11:14. Madison had spent the entire morning playing the waiting game.

The doorbell rang and Madison jumped.

How would she greet Egg? A smack on the
head
? He deserved it! She opened the door, laughing.

“Fiona?”

Fiona rocked from foot to foot, hands in her cargo pants pockets. Madison could see Mr. and Mrs. Waters and even Chet waiting out in the car so she quickly used the door as a shield. She didn’t feel like waving or smiling or dealing with parents in any way right now.

“Oh, Madison, I’m sorry to just show up like this,” Fiona said. “I forgot to tell you about my mom taking me and Chet over to the mall again today to get some more clothes for school. I told her you and I said we’d hang out today since I’ve never been over to your house, but I really have to go shopping again because she said so.”

“Okay,” Madison said, a little numb from the surprise.

“But you can come along too, if you want. She said that was okay too. Do you wanna?”

Madison looked at her feet. “Fiona, I look awful in my sweats.”

“That’s okay. We can wait for you to change. Come on …”

“W-w-well …”

“It’ll be so much fun,” Fiona blurted again, “even if my pain-in-the-butt brother does have to come along.”

“W-w-well …” Madison said again, “the truth is that I can’t.”

“Oh,” Fiona seemed genuinely disappointed. “Oh, well. Are you sure?”

“It’s just that one of my friends, Egg, is back from camp and he’s coming over like right now and—I can’t. Look, I’m really sorry.”

“Oh, well, I’ll call you later, maybe?”

“That would be cool. Let’s talk later.”

“You’re sure you can’t come?”

“Sorry.” Madison shook her head.

“Okay, I’ll call you!” Fiona bounced down the stairs and across Madison’s lawn into her family’s car. She actually looked like she was running away. Of course Madison knew she wasn’t running away.
Madison
was the only one who ran away from things.

“’Bye!” Madison cried out after her, a little too late.

Mr. Waters honked the horn good-bye. The car pulled away. Madison walked back inside and flopped back onto the sofa.

“Is Fiona mad at me?” she wondered aloud.

Phin just snored.

She suddenly felt very alone again.

Chapter 6

“S
URPRISE!”

Egg screeched and made a ridiculous piggy face at Madison. He did this gross thing where he pushed his nose up so his nostrils looked like pig nostrils and then he made this awful sucking noise against his top teeth.

“I’m baaaaaack!” he yelped.

Madison couldn’t help but giggle. “Egg! You doof! You freaked me out.”

Egg smacked her shoulder with a loud
Slap!
“You’re a doof, DOOF!”

He bounded inside and quickly whipped off his backpack.

“Maddie there is the coolest thing ever invented I have to show you right now! Look at this—”

Mom walked into the living room at that exact moment.

“Well, Walter! Welcome home! You look like you had a good time at camp. You also look taller.”

Egg was panting like Phin at this point, hot from the summer heat. Madison noticed that he was taller and had even more freckles than usual.

“Yeah, Mrs. Finn,” Egg said. “Grew two and a half inches. Lost four pounds. Camp was okay. At least I didn’t get picked on or anything. It was a whole bunch of us computer-heads. What’s up with you?”

“You are such a major computer EGG-head, Egg!” Madison laughed.

“Am not!” he snapped back.

“Are too!” she retorted.

“Am not!” he snapped back again.

“Well, it’s nice to see you again, Walter. Don’t get into any trouble. No fighting.” Madison’s Mom cautioned with a big grin. “I mean it.”

“Mom, why would we get into a fight? I haven’t seen Egg in forever!”

Egg hurriedly unzipped his backpack. Phin was sniffing around the varnished wood floor where he’d put it down.

“Is that some kind of calculator?” Madison asked when he pulled out his latest toy.

“No, no, it’s not a calculator, it’s one of those mini tablets. Here, look, look at how cool this is.” He showed it to Madison, who oohed and aahed.

“This is way cool,” she said.

Egg patted Phin’s head a little too hard. “Yeah, yeah, get lost doggy.”

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