Authors: Jani Kay
Chapter Forty-five
“So how is it working out with Gabriel?” Miranda took a sip of wine then peered at me over her glass as she waited for my answer, her perfectly sculpted brow
quirked, her mouth drawn into a pucker as if the wine was sour. She always used his full name in a standoffish way, never called him Gabe.
Our weekly lunch at the golf club, overlooking the beautiful greens, was something I had always looked forward to. A delightful lunch, a bottle of wine, a few handsome guys waving at us from the ninth hole – it was fun. Always intended as a catch up, a bit of a bitching session, discussing our latest projects or pet peeves. Lately however, the constant inquisition from Miranda was harder to evade.
“Good. Really good. He's changed a lot.”
“That’s just plain weird, Nat,” she smirked, “a leopard doesn’t change its spots.” Her expression told me she wasn’t buying the
new and improved
Gabriel for one second. “Remember I have known him for as long as you have, I know what an insanely jealous bastard he is.”
“Well
, I am prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise,” I quipped. Her dislike of Gabe was always clear. She had warned me from the first day that he was going to hurt me. Yet to this day she had never actually said the words ‘I told you so’ even after our marriage had gone rotten. “You don’t have to worry about me, Miranda.”
“You were always blind when it came to Gabriel. He stole your innocence, practically turned you into his sex slave and then got you barefoot and pregnant for years on end,” she said sternly
. “Of course I’m worried he is going to trample all over you again. When it comes to Gabriel, you have no resistance. He dominates you in every way – he's such a fucking alpha male.”
That much was true. Gabriel dominated me from the very start of our relationship. I allowed it because it made me feel safe and secure and coveted. He protected me and took care of me. There was no doubt that he was the ultimate
alpha male and I the love struck object of his desire. I went along willingly. Gabriel said he knew what he wanted when he saw it. And what he wanted back then was me. Gabriel was my first love and he was determined to be my last. It appeared that was true even now.
“You make it sound so… sordid
.” I laughed. “It wasn’t quite as bad as you make it out. We were in love. I’ll admit I was a very young bride at seventeen. I was just so flattered that a man like Gabriel would fall for me.”
Miranda snorted, quite unladylike. “Gabriel snatched you from your cradle, didn’t give you a chance to meet any other guys your own age. He would have ripped them apart if they came near you, so they never tried. I know because they told me. Not many teenage boys will go up against a possessive and jealous older man.”
Once again I had to agree with Miranda. Gabriel was a jealous and protective lover. If another man as much as looked in my direction during our union, his rage flared up without warning. He wanted me all to himself and if getting me pregnant was the way to keep me off other men’s radar, he did a fine job by keeping me nearly constantly impregnated in the early years of our marriage. As if I’d ever have eyes for any other man after being with Gabriel.
“Gabriel loved it when I was pregnant. He always said I was most beautiful when my belly was big and round, my breasts heavy…” I sighed.
Miranda grimaced then took a large gulp of wine. “Let's face it, Gabriel was obsessed with you! He worshipped you, that much was plain to see. But he should have waited till you were older. You were so in love with him. You were his from the day he laid eyes on you; so I really don’t know why he had to rush it. It was barely legal.”
Strangely
, I had understood Gabriel’s motivation from the start. He knew we’d have endless obstructions in our way, because everyone said he was too old for an innocent girl like me. Gabriel didn’t have the patience to wait nor did he feel the need to convince anyone that we were right for one another. He didn’t care for scandal or gossip. So he played his hand – as soon as the doctor confirmed my pregnancy he offered to marry me. My parents were so relieved that they immediately agreed; they never believed in abortion. And we were truly in love, it was inevitable that we would end up together; Gabe didn’t see the point in delaying it till I was supposedly ready according to society. It was all part of his master plan to make me his.
“We have been over this so many times before, Miranda. The past is done. It’s the future that matters. Gabe has arranged for us to go to Italy on vacation for three weeks – we will be renewing our vows too. Guess you don’t want to come along?” I shot her a glance, hoping she would soften to the idea.
“Nat,
is that really what you want
? We have been friends since the first day of school – there is nothing you can't tell me.
What about Nick?
The connection you had with him sounded pretty special to me. Really think about what you are doing. Gabriel may just be reacting because he doesn’t want another man to have you. If you lose Nick and then Gabriel changes his mind after a while… What then? Are you willing to risk it?”
“It's all I've been thinking about
. But you should’ve seen the kid’s faces when we told them about our plans at dinner last night. They were over the moon.”
Miranda shook her head wistfully. “It's clear you love your kids very much. Hell, I know you would do anything for them. But throwing away your own chance at real happiness is hardly the way to go, my friend. Soon the kids will be grown up with families of their own, so you can't base your decisions on what the kids want. For once in your life you have to choose what’s right for you.
You
, Nat. Not Gabriel or the kids.”
She placed her hand over mine, giving it a squeeze.
“Your kids will be happy if you are happy, regardless of whom you are with. It really is that simple. They may not understand everything now – I get that. Once they fall in love and have families of their own, they will understand. I just don’t want you to have any regrets about Nick. About what could have been…”
I stared into my glass
and allowed a faint rueful smile to touch my lips at the thought of Nicholas Gallagher. I let out a deep sigh. “Nick. It was wonderful while it lasted. I was blessed to have something so special. I am sure that by now he has moved on. It had to end when I chose to give my marriage another chance. I couldn’t risk Gabriel having a jealous rage and possibly another heart attack.”
“Would serve the bastard right
.” Miranda laughed. “Actually I’m reading this really controversial book by a psychologist who says we were never meant to be monogamous and that’s why it's so hard to keep the spark alive in long-term relationships. I laughed so hard when I read some of the things he wrote. The author, Ryan, says ‘
Just because you have chosen to be a vegetarian, doesn’t mean that bacon stops smelling good.’
I must say I agree with him. I think I’ll lend the book to you. You need to get over the ideas that society force on you and choose what’s right for your life.
And I know that’s Nick
.”
Miranda was getting deep. She also had a wicked sense of
humor that always made me laugh. Yet today her words punched me straight in the gut.
“New York – I’ll never forget
it. In those two weeks Nick gave me so much to be grateful for. But it's over; it probably wouldn’t have worked anyway. We are worlds apart. Not only geographically, but also in every other way that matters.”
“What do you mean?”
“I'm damaged goods. I come with strings attached. Nick can have his pick of the crop. I was just a pleasant diversion, you know, the foreigner. It’s called the silly season for a reason – we got silly, swept up in the thrill of it all. In the end it was nothing more than a sweet holiday romance.”
Miranda tapped her fingers on the table impatiently. “You keep telling yourself that, Nat. Surely you don’t believe that bullshit you just sprouted? Nick wouldn’t fly halfway across the world
to see you if that’s all it meant to him. You are the delusional one, my friend.”
My finger lightly traced down the beads of condensation on the glass. “I've made my choice
, and I know it's the right one. I'm going to Italy with Gabe. We are renewing our vows. The kids are coming. And then we are having a honeymoon near Lake Como.” I could be a stubborn as Miranda.
She
shook her head. “All I want is for you to be happy. In the end who you choose to be with is up to you. But I still think you are making the biggest mistake of your life. I can't come and watch you do it. But I do wish you happiness.”
We both sipped our wine in silence, looking out over the greens. A group of men waved at us. We didn’t wave back. Both too caught up in our own thoughts to
respond.
Was Miranda right? Was I making the biggest mistake of my life?
Had I chosen to be with the wrong man?
If only I could ignore the flicker of unease in my belly.
Often we are in the way of our own happiness.
Chapter Forty-six
“Gab
e, the villa is beautiful,” I squealed. “It's everything I dreamed and more.” I stood on the little balcony overlooking the Tuscan valley with wall-to-wall vineyards groaning from the heavy fruits ready for the picking.
Gabriel put the suitcases down and joined me on the balcony, slipping his arms around my waist and pulling me into his chest. “It's a sight for sore eyes,” he said, looking down at me rather than the breathtaking view. My arms crept around his neck and I leaned up to kiss him.
“Thank you for bringing me here,” I said as I planted a gentle kiss on his soft lips.
H
e grinned. “Hmm, I should have brought you here years ago if I knew you were going to kiss me like that.”
I pulled away shyly and returned my attention to the sprawling undulating hills, stretching as far as my eyes could see. Up until now I had carefully avoided physical contact with Gabe, except for the odd kiss or him touching my arm or small of my back when he guided me in a gentlemanly fashion.
The villa had two bedrooms, on my insistence, but I noticed he had placed his suitcase next to mine in the main bedroom. Was I going to ignore it and play along, or was I going to banish him to the smaller room next door?
Gabe stood behind me and rested his hands on my shoulders, gently massaging the tight muscles with his magic fingers. I let out a long sigh and
allowed my head to fall back onto his chest, my eyes closed in surrender. Damn those long fingers. He always did know exactly how to use them and right now my bones were melting beneath his touch. His thumbs worked together in large circles at the base of my neck.
“Oh
God, that feels so good,” I moaned, feeling the tension leave my body. Traveling always stressed me in spite of how much I loved it.
A low chuckle rumbled through his chest. “There is more where that came from,” he whispered in my ear. I bit down on my lip; I remembered how Gabe’s fingers had always brought me to life, making me beg for more until I came undone in his arms. His plan was working; I
softened against his chest as he kissed my ear and pulled the lobe between his teeth with a low hiss. He nipped playfully at the soft skin below my ear. I held on to the rail in front of me with a deathlike grip, feeling my knees turn to jelly.
“
Buonasera
– good evening,” a heavily accented voice drifted to my consciousness, “I see you are enjoying our spectacular view.” The man laughed, low and sexy.
My eyes flew open and looked straight into the bemused
cognac-brown eyes of a stocky olive-skinned man, his grin spreading from his generous mouth to his gleaming eyes. “Welcome to La Vita,
me casa es su casa
.” He bowed gallantly.
“You must be Angelo,” laughed Gabe, still keeping his arm protectively around me.
“And you must be Mr. and Mrs. Lawson?” He gestured for us to come down to speak with him.
Gabe planted a quick kiss in my hair before pulling me down the stairs
, holding on to my hand even when he opened the door for Angelo.
The Italian
was very handsome up close. His lively eyes crinkled at the corners from laughing a lot, his ample lips curved into a decadent smile. His broad shoulders were those of a man used to hard physical labor. He seemed very fit and athletic, although he wasn’t as tall as Gabe was, he had a presence about him that made people instantly warm to him. I was sure Angelo had many female admirers.
Angelo’s hand was rough when he took mine in his to kiss my fingers the way European gentlemen do. Gabe lifted an eyebrow, frowning as he watched.
“We met your
wife
earlier, she gave us the key,” Gabe said. “Very charming lady, Rita.”
“We are both blessed with beautiful wives – we are indeed lucky men
.” Angelo smiled lazily, his gaze flickering over my body.
“Very lucky,” Gabe agreed as he pulled me back against him. Angelo
lifted an eyebrow at the possessive behavior but didn’t say anything else, other than to smile at me as if Gabe wasn’t in the room with a dark scowl on his face.
“Rita showed us around. The estate is lovely, Angelo, it's a beautiful place to live. I am sure we will have a great time here
.” I smiled warmly.
“Help yourself to wine from the cellar. I just came to tell you that the key is on the bunch of keys Rita gave you. And if you need anything at all, just give me a shout?” He wiggled his eyebrows when he said the word ‘anything’.
Before I could respond, Gabriel promised we would and nearly pushed him out the door, closing it quickly.
“These damn Italians. Just because he thinks he is Romeo doesn’t mean he has to come on to my wife so blatantly,” he swore under his breath as he shook his head.
I laughed. “He was just being friendly and welcoming – that’s all. Rita is a stunning woman, I am sure he has his hands full.” I made big eyes at him, lightening the mood.
“As long as it's not a handful of you
.” He scowled. “I want you all to myself.” His eyes were smoldering, brooding. “If Romeo’s smart, he’ll stay out of my way.”
I rolled my eyes at Gabe, sure Angelo was harmless. The jealous monster rear
ed its ugly head already. Oh boy, I was the one who was going to have my hands full keeping Gabe under control. The best way right now would be to change the subject completely.
“What shall we have for dinner? Rita said she stocked the cupboards with pasta and other ingredients for our first night. Very sweet of her. How about I check that out and you get us some vino?”
I opened the cupboard and peered inside.
“Sounds great. Red?” Gabe asked as he picked up the keys to go in search of the wine cellar.
I turned on the CD player. A male voice sprang to life, singing soulfully in Italian.
Hmm, very romantic
. I found a black apron in the pantry and tied it around my waist. I hummed to the tune as I worked around the kitchen, exploring for pots and pans and spices.
Gabe
returned fifteen minutes later, two bottles of red clutched in his big hands, a wicked grin on his handsome face. He sashayed over to me in time to the music, swaying his hips and cheekily danced around me, then leaned down to kiss me. Playful Gabe was nice. I liked him a lot.
He set the bottles down and filled two glasses with the rich burgundy liquid. He handed me a glass and held his glass to mine, gazing into my eyes. “To us,” he said playfully but his tone was serious.
“Salute!” I smiled at him and took a big swig of wine. The way Gabriel looked at me made my skin heat up from the inside. Suddenly I felt hot all over – I didn’t think it was from the gas flames or the pot of boiling the water.
I quickly turned back to the stove and stirred the sauce vigorously. What the hell was going on with me?
Using the wood by the front door, Gabe lit a fire in the huge fireplace. The days were warm, but the evenings cooled down pretty quickly. The fire crackled noisily as I set the small round table near the little kitchen. We dished up and sat down to enjoy our first dinner in Tuscany.
“I'm so glad we finally did this. You always wanted to come to Tuscany. I don’t know why I waited so long to make it a reality. First it was the damn business, then…”
He shifted in his chair uncomfortably.
I covered his hand with mine. “We are here now. That’s all that matters,” I said softly.
“Yes, it is. And I intend to make it the best holiday you have ever had.
Ever
.” I knew he was referring to my trip to New York. And Nick. I didn’t want to go there – I’d said goodbye to Nick, yet it still hit a raw nerve every time I thought of him.
“I'm sure we will have the best time ever. You have planned everything so well. And this villa is charming too. Thanks for bringing me,” I said with as much sincerity as I could muster to ease Gabriel’s mind. I tucked into my pasta with gusto. I was hungry, we had driven for several hours, and the food and wine and company w
ere really good.
After dinner Gabe took the plates to the kitchen and I curled up on the couch in front of the fireplace with a book. He insisted he would do the dishes as I had cooked the meal. I wasn’t going to argue with that!
Pretending to read, I watched my husband secretly from under my lashes as he worked in the kitchen. He had rolled up his sleeves, his strong forearms on display, dark hair covering a lightly tanned skin. To me they were always a symbol of his virility – sexy as hell. I licked my lips involuntarily. Why was I thinking of his forearms now?
I tried to focus on my book
, but quickly gave up the pretense of reading and closed my eyes, sinking further into the comfortable cushions. If only I knew what I was going to do about the sleeping arrangements tonight. Maybe I would just stay down here in front of the fireplace and keep pretending to read my book till I dozed off. I was a coward and I knew it.
D
eep in thought, I jumped as Gabe appeared next to me, lifting my feet from the end of the couch and sitting down as if it was the most natural thing to do in the world. As if it was a ritual he did every night… He placed my feet on his lap and slowly massaged the soles of my feet. I could have started purring, it was so delicious. My eyes felt heavy and I allowed my eyelids to drop closed again.
We sat
quietly like that for some time, listening to the music, the fire warming the room, Gabe massaging my feet and calves. Just as my body relaxed completely, I felt the weight of the book resting on my chest lighten as Gabe gently placed it on the coffee table. His fingers rubbed in small circles up my legs, massaging firmly yet reverently as they climbed higher and higher. I swallowed hard. When he got to my thighs he leaned over and pulled me into his spacious lap, my head rolled sleepily to the side and rested on his shoulder. Gabe massaged my neck and back; his fingers relentless.
B
oneless and drowsy, I was hardly in any position to put up a fight – not that I wanted to – the magic fingers were hypnotizing me…
H
e cupped my chin in his hand, raising my face to his and pressing his mouth down on mine. Soft and warm and comforting. Good.
Next h
e kissed the tip of my chin, then the tip of my nose, then both my eyelids in turn. I couldn’t open my eyes if I wanted to, they were so heavy. His hand slid over my breasts, soft and warm, squeezing softly, first the one then the other, his thumbs rubbing back and forth over my nipples. Good, very good.
Gabe unbuttoned my blouse, his mouth sliding over my lips, his breath hot and rhythmic as he kept me under his spell. Finally he pushed the blouse off my shoulders and kissed the base of my neck, starting from the hollow at my throat all along my collarbone to the ends of my shoulders and back, then the other side, slowly, painstakingly slowly.
I sighed as he planted soft wet kisses from my throat down my chest to between my breasts. Moaning softly, I was becoming more and more entranced. Going behind my back, he snapped open the bra closure, then worked his way back to the front along my ribcage as he lifted the bra from my shoulders. His warm mouth covered one breast, his hand the other, soft, gentle, soothing.
A lullaby.
Warm liquid seeped into my bones. I felt drugged. Maybe there was something in the wine?
His mouth pressed down my stomach to my navel where he lay down a big wet kiss, his tongue flat and hot lavish
ing my skin, causing my insides to unfurl slowly. Gabe slipped his hands under the waistband of my pants and pushed it slowly, very slowly off over my thighs, taking the panties with them as they went down and over my ankles. He drew in a sharp breath and spread me naked on the couch, lifting my leg and kissing the inside of my thigh. My back arched as his mouth found my mound, soft kisses warming me as he sought my liquid insides.
His tongue lapped slowly, rhythmically over my folds. “So fucking sweet,” he groaned as he tasted me. My hips bucked as I unashamedly pushed higher so he could take more of me in his mouth. A low guttural sound escaped his lips. “Better than I remember,” he murmured against my skin.
He dipped his tongue into my core, exploring, slowly at first then more urgently. His fingers dug into my thighs and I knew he was holding on to his self-control. The Gabe I remember was never this sweet and slow. I let out a long shudder, my legs trembling in his hands.
“Let go, Nat
.” He brought his finger to my hard bud, rubbing back and forth. God, those long magic fingers were never better than right now. With his skilful mouth and fingers he worked me to a frenzy.
“Gabe,” I breathed out a puff of breath as I felt myself come apart, a heavenly orgasm washing over me.
My eyes still squeezed shut, I felt him leave my body for a moment, and then his strong arms slipped under me and lifted me up. He pressed me to his chest and carried me up the stairs. Very gently he laid me out on the bed. I covered my eyes with the backs of my hands and squeezed my legs together tightly as I heard the zipper of his jeans rip through the silence. The bed dipped under his weight as he crawled over me. I couldn’t look, couldn’t open my eyes.
He took my hands from my eyes and laced his fingers through mine, pinning them to the sides of my head as he leaned down and kissed me. I could taste myself on his mouth. I groaned as his stubble dragged down my chest and he sucked a nipple into his mouth.