Overcoming Fear (Growing Pains #2) (9 page)

She moved slowly, as if through honey, their
eyes and face so close. Her hand turned him to her, moving him
closer rather than into the correct pose. His body lost all
rigidity and molded to her palms like play dough, his eyes glued to
hers like a drunk man clutching a cup of coffee. Even closer, his
eyes dropping to her lips, her eyes nearly closed, waiting.
Hoping.

Within millimeters… his balance gave
out.

He sucked in a breath as he
grabbed for her shoulders. In surprise she forgot to plant her
feet. After a tiny fight for balance they tumbled, landing with a
soft
smack,
his
weight pressing her deeply into the packed sand, sandwiching
her.

She barely had time to say
“
Oh
,” or
“
yes please,”
before he rolled to the side and lay next to her,
panting.

“Are we done yet?” he asked to cover the
moment.

“You are a long way to getting that pose,
but for today, yeah. I don’t want to stand any—“

It was then that a wave washed further
inland than expected--or maybe not, since the tide was coming in.
The water washed up over them in a surge, dunking them, filling
their mouths with freezing cold, salty ocean.

Krista’s first reaction, and the one she
went with, was to immediately panic! She wasn’t a sophisticated
ocean goer. In fact, the ocean and all its power terrified her. In
a world after Jim, where she craved control, the ocean was a power
all its own. Untamable.

She flailed immediately, submerged, scared,
freezing water washing over her. She held her breath and closed her
eyes, thinking she was being sucked out to sea. A second later she
was hoisted up by familiar hands, the wave already receding.

“Are you okay?”

Krista opened her eyes, seeing Sean’s face
close to hers, largely in shadow. “That wasn’t a part of my
relaxation and energizing regime.”

Sean smiled in relief, looking down on
her.

“You reacted quickly,” she said with
appreciation, hugging her now-wet body.

“All you had to do was stand up,” he
laughed. “C’mon, let’s get somewhere warm.”

Through chattering teeth Krista said, “Warm
is good.”

On their way to the house, as Krista was
feeling more like an icicle than a human, she noticed Sean was
walking normally, the cold apparently not affecting him. He swam in
the ocean often as a surfer, it was true, but he had a wetsuit for
that.

“How are you not cold?” she asked through
chattering teeth. They were walking to his house, for which she was
thankful. It was closer.

“I am. But I’m the man. I’m not supposed to
show cold.”

“Do men just sit around and create man-code
for stupid things? Is it, like, a one-upper fest when these rules
get created? One guy says, ‘A man does not cry.’ And a second guy
says, ‘Well, except when at a funeral.’ And the first one says,
‘No, not even then. A man is strong. Only women cry, and women are
weak. A man is not weak. He does not cry.’ Then another guy, who
probably has a bigger pee-stick, says, ‘Except when drunk. When
drunk, a man may cry, but only for the dead, or the lost.’ Then the
circle of men nod their head, because that sounds like a good
hedge, and enter it into the man log. That about it?”

They were in Sean’s house at that point.
Sean ushered Krista into a dining area just outside the
kitchen.

“You have too much time on
your hands,” Sean said, laughing. “But I
am
cold, so please excuse
me.”

She didn’t realize that was his introduction
to strip down to his boxer briefs.

She looked away quickly when her groin gave
a worrying lurch. She remembered those big, muscular shoulders and
torso, but she hadn’t seen it tuck down into those trim hips and
then explode into two powerfully built legs. He was spectacular.
And he was nearly naked. Two steps. Two steps away, then she could
actually touch him. It was too close.

She needed to go home.

“Oh holy moly,” she muttered as she
accidentally looked down that body, past the beginning of his
fire-engine red boxer briefs, to his sizable package. It was cold,
it should have been small—right? Wasn’t that how it worked?

Sean looked at her when she spoke, saw her
looking at him like a man-eating lion, and got beet red.

“
You must not do that,
Daniel-san,” Krista said, turning away sheepishly. “I have been
without for too long.”

“I thought you had a booty call to ease
your…tension?” Sean said as clothes rustled.

“I cut him loose. It felt
wrong. Then it felt
really
wrong when he said he loved me.”

“Hmmm.”

“Don’t ‘hmmm’ me. I was up-front the whole
time. From day one. And I reminded him periodically.”

“I always did, too. You
know, when I was in my
womanizing
days?” He paused to let the allegation sink in.
“And you never caught on that he had feelings for you?”

“No! Absolutely not. Not really. I always
thought he was on the same page. Mostly.”

“I always thought so, too. Mostly.”

Krista turned around in anger, “What—“

Sean was butt naked. He was grabbing a pair
of sweats, confident that she wouldn’t peek.

There was no problem with
shrinkage. His very
large
man parts were in full view. Krista flinched,
then squeaked, then turned around again, hoping he didn’t
notice.

“Peeping Tom.”

“If you don’t want me to peek, don’t rile me
up! Or change in your room! Back to the topic at hand, what guy
wouldn’t be happy in that situation? Men are always saying that is
the ideal situation! I have been dumped for that reason. More than
once!”

“Ideal for twenty-one-year-old men, maybe.
But you are a catch. The guy probably thought you would come
around.”

“I don’t know about catch, but yeah, that’s
what he thought. His own fault.”

“My line every time.”

“Can I turn around now?”

“You haven’t already?”

Krista turned to see him
looking at her with a knowing smile. She narrowed her eyes and
balled her fists. “I was completely up front about it!
Com
plet
ely up
front. The whole time! How is that my fault?”

“The same way it’s my fault when I do the
same thing. At least, so you would have me believe. A certain label
you affix me with comes to mind.”

“Everyone puts that label on you!” It was
out before she realized it. Pain flashed across his face. He didn’t
try to cover it up.

“I know,” he said quietly, and tossed her a
pair of sweats and a shirt.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that,” she
took off her sopping wet shirt.

“I know people say it. And once, not very
long ago, it was true.”

Not thinking, she stripped
out of her sweats and down to her panties, which were lots bigger
than her bathing suit—she
had
to do laundry—so she wasn’t concerned about
exposure. Just a little embarrassed about
Granny-Panties.

“I haven’t been with Monica since that one
night,” Sean admitted. “I could have been. Guilt free, I could
have. But I didn’t.” He turned around, giving her a chance to
change.

She thought about going to the bathroom;
privacy would have been best obviously. The only thing was, she
didn’t want to pause this conversation. Also, she was freezing her
ass off. So she quickly stripped out of her wet clothes, like a
fool, and tried to get into his sweats before he turned and caught
her naked.

“Why did you stop seeing her?” Krista asked,
quickly turning the sweats right-side out. Evidently she should
have checked the merchandise before she went and stripped down to
bare skin.

“Wait, no under-roos? I have to free-ball
it?” She muttered to herself, eyeing the giant sweats made for a
monster, and a shirt the same size. She might as well flash him
right then because in his clothes she’d flash him all over the
place anyway. She wouldn’t even have to bend over to do it!

“Here,” Sean said, walking into the other
room and tossing her a pair of whitey-tighties.

Krista hadn’t realized he’d left. She’d been
too busy frantically turning the sweats inside-out to put them
on.

As she caught the briefs she caught his eye.
He raked his eyes down her naked body, and then winked at her.
Apparently fair was fair.

She gave him the stink eye from behind a
hastily made shield of fabric before he disappeared down a side
hall.

“Same reason you stopped calling Paul.
Someone always gets hurt,” he called from a different room.

“I doubt Monica would have been hurt. She
doesn’t seem like the type. Lacking human emotion, that one.”

After a pause he said, “She isn’t. But you
would’ve been.”

“I …” Krista’s stomach clenched as she
realized what he said. What was worse, it was true. She couldn’t
deny it.

Even worse still,
he knew
. And if he read
that about her, what else had he ferreted out?

“Okay, well, yes maybe, but only because she
was gross, and you could do better.”

He just laughed as he re-entered the room
with a dirty mug. Even though she was in his clothes, which were
too big, and braless, he didn’t look her over again. He passed on
the way to the kitchen, cleaning up. She might as well have been a
plant.

The formal dining room led into the kitchen,
which was separated by a long counter with bar stools. In the
spacious kitchen was another, small table, probably for quick
meals. The room had granite counter tops, the latest appliances,
and was recently remodeled. The dining room had a china cabinet
with a few pieces of china and some plates, but was mostly bare. It
was largely a bachelor pad. There was a wine rack, mostly empty,
which was a travesty.

There was a hallway that must have led to
the rest of the house, and the hallway from whence they came that
joined this room with the entryway. She wandered down the path not
taken toward the living room and saw large, overstuffed couches and
a huge TV. Off the living room was a huge bay window that had the
curtains drawn. She opened them, and as she thought, there was the
expanse of ocean, as far as the eye could see. Now it was just a
black area without lights, but she could imagine seeing the waves
crash and the azure blue of limitless water.

What a view.

“Same view from my bedroom, only better,”
Sean said from right behind her.

Krista turned slowly, goose pimples erupting
all over her flesh. Sean just looked at her, apparently content to
see her in his clothing.

“I would let you show me, but I have already
lost my knickers and am afraid to go up against your strength as a
salesman,” Krista said nervously.

After a pause, quietly he said, “Wise.”

They looked at each other for a beat. He was
about two feet away, eyes steadily holding hers.

Into the din, she said, “I’m sorry about
what I said earlier. It wasn’t nice and it wasn’t fair.”

He continued to look down at her in silence.
She thought he might step closer. He thought she might step closer
to him. But neither of them moved. It was hard to say why, because
both of them wanted to, but now there was a great divide, and
neither knew the safest way to cross, or even if they wanted to,
unsure what lay on the other side.

They also realized it would be a huge
mistake. They knew each other too well for a purely physical
relationship, but not enough for anything substantial. Not yet.
Nothing ruined friendship, or a working relationship, like sex.
Someone always fell…and in that, Krista had the track record,
though Sean suspected it might be him this time because he was
already heading down that road head first. He’d already been
rejected once, though, he didn’t want it to happen a second
time.

Finally Sean let out a breath, and held out
some menus. “What’s for dinner?”

It was a Saturday, and Krista found her dumb
ass in the stupid office trying to finish up some last minute
things that she didn’t have the heart to stay late and do on
Friday. There was just something wrong with working late on a
Friday. Friday is the best office day of the week. You couldn’t
spoil that by working all night!

The floor was as quiet as death as she
trudged her way to her office. She dropped all her stuff and turned
on her computer, just like she might on a Monday. It was thoroughly
depressing.

She, like the rest of the team, was utterly
pooped after the last week. They had worked their asses off for
this new client. And while the client was grateful and impressed
with the quality of the work, the creativity of design, and the
thoroughness of the information, the contract was for a great deal
of money, and they should get every penny out of Sean’s team.

She worked her way through a couple emails
and finished up the latest report for Sean. It was then that she
noticed a new email. From Sean. He was in the office!

Strangely, her palms got clammy and her
heart raced. She finished what she was working on and decided she
might as well be friendly and say hi. He was her Captain after
all.

She was walking on air as she made her way
to his office. She was eager and anxious and nervous all at the
same time. Her heart was racing and the butterflies in her stomach
were going wild. She had no idea why getting Sean alone in the
office was playing hell on her nerves, but she couldn’t erase the
excited smile from her face.

She saw him through his office window as she
walked up. The movement must have caught his eye because he glanced
up, caught sight of her, and lifted his head. Was that pleasure on
his face? Maybe he was as happy to see her as she was him?