Perspective (An Exposure Series Novella): Exposure Series Book Four (3 page)

Then she shook her head and started to talk in Italian some more. She looked at the ceiling and seemed to be cursing god. “You have no idea what kind of danger you’re going to be in. Do you think for one second that you’re going to be left alone by his father or anyone close to his father? Do you? And what’s going to happen when his old man dies? Right now, I’m sure he’s protected, because nobody wants to mess with the son of a godfather, especially if his family is powerful.”

I was a bit surprised that mom seemed to know so much about mob culture, but maybe I shouldn’t have been. After all, she was in Italy when she was a young girl. She had never said as much, but she probably had some kind of exposure to this kind of thing when she was a little girl.

I knew that I was going to get flak from my mother, so I was braced for her reaction. “What’s done is done, mom. I’m married to Asher, and I’m having his child. There’s nothing that can be done about it now.”

“So, you’re telling me that I just have to suck it up and accept it? Is that what you’re saying? Well, if that’s what your saying, then you have another thing coming there, Cordelia.” She took another gulp of her wine and gave me the stink-eye.

“Ma, so what do you propose she do?” Stella asked her. “Abort her child and annul her marriage?” I hoped that Stella was only asking that as a rhetorical question, but I couldn’t be sure.

Mom crossed herself after Stella said that. “And send my little girl to hell?” She shook her head. “No. There’s a baby, so…” She shook her head again. “Why do you do this to me, Cordelia? Why? First you kill my little baby Nathaniel, and now this. I really thought that we were going to be on the road to recovery in our relationship, you and me. But how can I accept this?”

My heart sunk. “Mom, you have to learn to accept this.” There was nothing more that I could say. As Stella said, what was done was done, and, unless mom wanted me to get an abortion or be a single mother, the cake was baked. There was no undoing any of it.

Scarlett was quiet through all of this, but I knew that she was going to have my ear later.

Finally, my mother just said “okay, then. I guess that there’s nothing that can be done, except meet this godfather of his and hope for the best.” Then she started to speak in rapid Italian, and I could just imagine what she was saying.

“Mom, that will be difficult, to say the least. His father lives in London. But you can meet his sister, Natalia.” I didn’t want to tell her that Natalia, up until just recently, was an integral part of the slave trading business.

“You bring him here, Cordelia,” she said. “I need to look him in the eye and tell him my piece. I need to tell him that he won’t interfere with the raising of your child and I need reassurance that he won’t try to force your child into his wicked business. And that’s what it is – a wicked business. It’s evil.”

I couldn’t argue with that. I felt that it was evil as well.

Mom pointed at me. “I’ll be praying for you, Cordelia. I’ll be praying for you and for the soul of that little baby.” She had tears in her eyes. “Here I was, all excited that I was finally going to be a grandmother. I should be so happy, but, Cordelia, you are messing up your life. I hope that you know this.”

“I do,” I said. “And, if I didn’t, I’m sure you would always tell me about it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked me.

“Ma, come on, let’s eat. You haven’t touched your food, and it looks like CJ went through a lot of trouble to make all this. Didn’t you, CJ?” Stella was digging into her food as she talked, apparently in an effort to make my mother do the same.

“Of course, I always do. I make the sauce from scratch, because I know that if I didn’t, mom probably wouldn’t eat it.”

“I’m not hungry anymore,” she said, throwing down her napkin. “I want to leave.”

“We’re not leaving,” Stella said. “Not until we have dinner and everyone calms down a little bit. Now, come on, ma. You made your objections known, now it’s time to eat and relax a little bit. I’m quite sure that CJ thought this whole thing through before she went into it, and Asher seems like a great guy. That’s what matters, right? I mean, she’s not marrying his father, is she?”

“No,” my mom said. “But Asher was also in the mob. Cordelia is telling us that he stole money from large banks, which is bad enough. But I’m not naïve enough to ever think that this is all that he did. If you don’t think that Asher has blood on his hands, Stella, you’re naïve.”

Stella turned to me. “Is that true, CJ? Did Asher kill people when he was in the mob?”

I took a deep breath. “No, he didn’t kill anyone. He didn’t have to do that, because his father was the head of the organization, so he was given preferential treatment.” I hoped that I wasn’t shaking too much when I said that, and that my face wasn’t too red. I was a horrible liar, and I just knew that my mother could see right through me.

She shook her head. “You let me meet this godfather, Cordelia, or…”

“Or what?” I didn’t know what she was going to say, but I could have just imagined.

She finally looked defeated. “Or nothing. Nothing. I hate that I’m in this position, and I really hate that you are in this position. But we are in this position, because you continue to make poor decisions. It’s my fault, of course. I didn’t have a male figure for either of you girls, so you both were missing that influence. I’ve tried, I’ve really tried, to be mother and father to both of you, but look where that got me. Cordelia is married to the mob, and Stella….”

Stella bowed her head. I think that she knew that she was a disappointment to my mother, because she was still single and looking and she didn’t make much of her life. At least, according to my mother, she didn’t. She was a high school dropout and constantly was struggling with unemployment and underemployment. She was bright, that was for sure, but she never did find her place in life.

I think that mom realized that she hurt Stella’s feelings, because she put her arm around her. “I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t mean to bring you into this. It’s just that I feel that I should have been a better parent. I should have provided more stability to both of you. I wish I would have done things differently in life, but there’s no going back.”

They both started to cry, and I found myself crying as well. I looked over at Scarlett, who still hadn’t said a word, and I felt for her. She must have been freaking out over all of this, but she probably shouldn’t have been. She knew my mom and Stella, and how emotional they were. This really was just par for the course.

We were almost done with dinner, and my mom and Stella finally stopped crying.

“Uh, we have tiramisu for dessert,” Stella helpfully said. “If you guys are up for it.”

“Sure, why not,” mom said. “We’ll have dessert, but then we really should be going. You, Cordelia, shouldn’t be staying up late. You need all the rest you can get. I know what it’s like to be pregnant, believe me.” She seemed to have softened just a bit, and I felt my blood pressure slowly get back to normal.

“So, mom, are we going to be okay?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know, Cordelia.” Then she shrugged her shoulders. “But, then again, what choice do I have but to accept this corrupt situation? You’re carrying my grandchild. My grandchild. I could try to shut you out, but I would only be hurting myself. I guess I just need to accept this. But I do still want to meet this future father-in-law. I want to look him in the eye and make sure that he knows that he is not to mess with you or my grandbaby.”

So, we had dessert in a strained silence. Stella, for her part, tried to make small talk, but it felt extremely uncomfortable. “And how was London?” she asked politely while my mom gave each of us the stink-eye. “I’ve always wanted to travel overseas. You’re so lucky to have traveled there on a private plane with a gorgeous man.”

“It was fun,” I said, thinking that, really, it was anything but. It was stressful and I didn’t get a chance to really enjoy myself.

Stella and I tried to fill the silence with that kind of talk for the next half hour or so, and then my mom abruptly announced that it was time to go. “We had dessert, now it’s getting late,” she said. “We’ll talk to you later, Cordelia.”

At that, we all stood and awkwardly hugged.

Then, after they left, I rolled my eyes at Scarlett, who was busy clearing the table. “I’m so sorry about that,” I said.

She waved her hand at me. “I know Gianna.” It was then that I realized that she had tears in her eyes.

I put my arm around her. “Scarlett, don’t cry.” I didn’t exactly know what was wrong, but I had a feeling. “Listen, I know that you’re going to be stressed about making rent, but don’t be. Asher is going to pay my share of the rent for the foreseeable future. You won’t even have to get a roommate. You can live here by yourself.”

“CJ, do you think that’s just going to make it all better?” Then she shook her head. “I’m sorry, that’s rude of me. I’m happy for you. I hope you know what you’re doing, but I’m happy for you. It’s just that I’m going to miss you, that’s all.”

“I know. We’ve been through a lot together. You’ve always been there for me.” I felt awful, like I was leaving her behind.

“Change is always hard, but I know that you gotta do what you gotta do. And congratulations about the baby. I mean that with all my heart.”

We hugged and cried and then talked throughout the night. I was going to miss her as much as she was going to miss me. We promised to get together at least once a month, but we both knew that it wasn’t going to be the same.

It was so bittersweet. I had Asher, but my mom was angry with me and I was going to have to leave Scarlett.

T
he story
about my past hit, and, as I anticipated, the fallout was immediate. The story that hit the papers only detailed my past as a cybercriminal. It was just as I thought – the investigative journalist couldn’t get the really bad dirt on me. I prayed that nobody would be able to get that story. But what they were able to find out was really bad enough.

One of the first things I had to do was smooth things over with the senators who were on my side. I got a phone call from the senator from New York, Senator Bryce, who immediately called me when the story hit the paper. “Asher, you need to get down here as soon as possible. The senators from the other side of the aisle are restless and they’re ready to re-evaluate all your appropriations and government contracts.”

I knew that was coming, and I was prepared for it. “Thanks for calling me, Tom. I’ll be on the next flight out.” I took a deep breath. “How bad is it?”

“Bad, as expected. They’re looking for any excuse to kill your business, and this is the perfect one. Unfortunately, they control the committees, so it’s going to be paramount that you come here as soon as you can and give testimony as to why they shouldn’t kill your appropriations and contracts all together.”

I called CJ to tell her the news. “You up for going to DC with me tonight?”

“Of course. I need to get out of town after the night I had last night with my mom.”

I sighed. “We expected this, of course. But it doesn’t make it any less stressful.”

“That’s for sure.”

I hung up the phone and stared out the window. Truth be told, if the worst thing happened, and my multitude of government contracts dried up, my business would still thrive. I did business with countries around the world, and they didn’t necessarily care what I did in my former life.

Nevertheless, I still would have been personally devastated over losing my American contracts. My company was really making headway on many different fronts, and we were making a concrete difference in the lives of millions of people and animals. Doing my part to save the environment was a major passion in my life, and, slowly, we were actually making a difference. We were making a difference by replacing electricity with wind and solar, and we were constantly innovating so that Americans were slowly weaning themselves off of fossil fuels. The country itself was weaning itself off of fossil fuels, in favor of renewables, and my company was at the forefront of all of this.

Of course, the fact that I was so successful made me a target for those who didn’t want the change. There were still extremely powerful interests who clearly wanted the country to remain the way that it always had been – reliant on old technology and old energy sources. At the moment, the party that wanted me put out of business controlled the country’s purse, and I was going to have to do some major ring-kissing to ensure that I wouldn’t be run out of the United States.

I tapped my pen on the desk and pondered my dilemma. I obviously hoped that I could salvage as much as I could, because there was no way I would be able to live overseas. Especially after I revealed as much as I did to the paper. I had always been able to visit the countries where I did business, simply because these trips were relatively short. I was able to stay incognito as much as possible. But now the truth was out there. I would imagine there were men around the world who wouldn’t be happy with that fact. If I relocated overseas, there probably would be no place to hide anymore.

Natalia came into my office. She was learning the business, and was totally excited for it. I had already signed her up for some online courses and in-person seminars that would help her learn what she needed to learn about alternative energy, and she was really taking to it like a duck to water. “Asher,” she said carefully. I had to constantly remind her that my American name was Asher, and she slipped up frequently. Not that I was ashamed of my Russian name. Now that the entire world knew who I was, it wasn’t a big deal for her to call me Alexei. But it would be jarring for everyone I knew for her to call me by my birth name, and, besides, my name was Asher now, not Alexei, so her calling me Alexei was jarring to me as well. “I’ve completed the reports that you need.”

“Thanks Natalia. Come on in, have a seat.”

She sat down and smiled at me. “I’m so happy here, Asher. I wanted to tell you that.”

“I know. You’ve told me 1000 times,” I said with a smile. I put my hand on hers, and saw that tears were in her eyes. “Hey, there’s no reason to cry.”

“These are happy tears. Last night, when I was ready to sleep, I looked out the window and up at the sky, and I knew that I did not have to deal with violence and slavery any more. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate this chance to make everything right with my life. I did such bad things, Asher. Such horrible things. Now I have this chance to help you help the world, and it feels…wonderful.”

I went over to her and gave her a hug. “I’m happy that you’re here, too. I’m so sorry that I didn’t bring you over when I had the chance before. It was incredibly short-sighted and selfish of me, and I’ll regret that decision always.”

She shook her head. “I understand the decision, Asher. And I think about how my being here is making trouble for you now, and I feel bad. I feel bad that the whole world knows about you now. I feel bad that you are going to be in trouble with those politicians. I wish that I could change things.”

I smiled. “Natalia, it was going to come out sooner or later. And, truth be told, I was tired of running from it. I was tired of constantly thinking that the shoe was going to drop.” I smiled as I saw her get her notebook out and write down the idiom.

“Shoe is going to drop,” she said, and then looked over her head at the ceiling. “Why would a shoe drop?”

I shook my head. “Who knows why these sayings get started? You make a good point, though. I have no idea why a shoe would drop.” Having Natalia around was forcing me to think about the slang and idioms that Americans use, and, she was right – a lot of it was pretty nonsensical. I found myself looking up sayings on the Internet about why Americans said this phrase or that, and it was kind of fascinating.

“What does it mean?” she asked me.

“It means that you’re afraid that something is bad is going to happen. Something that you are bracing for. Something that isn’t yet known, but soon will be.”

She nodded her head in understanding. “So, when you were afraid that your past would be revealed, you were waiting for a shoe to drop?”

“Something like that.”

“Why would your past be revealed? If I were not here, could you not be okay? You might have been able to live the rest of your life and not have to confront it in the open.”

“Maybe, but it was getting stressful trying to avoid it. Sophie is a loose cannon. I’ve been able to keep her quiet, but who knows how long that would last? I mean, I know that she’s beholden to me now, just because I hold the key to her not getting murdered by Viktor Kazakov. But what if she loses that baby?” I shuddered. “I’m married to CJ and CJ is having my baby. Sophie is going to go crazy when she finds that out. There would be no stopping her from going to the press and telling all. I prefer the way that I did it, personally. I can control the message much better this way.”

Natalia seemed to understand. “So, what is the next move?”

“I need to fly to Washington. The senators are holding appropriations meetings, and my contracts are now on the chopping block. I need to do some sweet talking and some serious negotiations to keep these lucrative contracts.” I took a deep breath. “The absolute worse thing would be that they not only cut off my contracts, but they also fail to loosen the trade restrictions that I asked for a few months ago.”

I looked at Natalia’s face, and she looked worried. “Don’t worry, Natalia, my company will be fine no matter what. And you’ll always have a job.” When I said that last part, she seemed to relax, and I smiled.

“That is good, Asher. I really love my position. I hope that I can move up in this company.”

“You have a bright future, as long as you continue to work hard.”

It was time to pivot in the conversation. “Have you talked to our father?”

“Yes.” She paused meaningfully. “He knows the truth. That he is not dying. I was afraid, very afraid, that he would make me come back, but he told me that he was happy that I am here and doing well.”

“Our father is probably just happy right now, period. After finding out that he’s not living under a death sentence, I would imagine that he’s in a pretty good mood.”

“He does seem to be. But…” She looked like she didn’t quite want to tell me what she was about to tell me.

I looked at her, willing her to go on, but she didn’t say anything more. I finally asked her why she was hesitating. “But? Go on, Natalia.”

She shook her head. “He’s going to retire.”

I knew the implications of that. His replacement, Yuri, had agreed to give me the same protection that our father gave. But I could see that Natalia was worried about that. “Natalia, I know what you’re thinking, but we’re going to be okay. We’re still going to have the same protection. And I have to admit that I’m relieved that he’s getting out.”

“I hope that you are right, Asher.” She bowed her head. I saw that she looked scared, and I felt awful for her.

I took a deep breath. Natalia was right about one thing – nothing was set in stone. But it was always my understanding that Yuri would carry on the protection that our father gave us.

“Well, Asher, I do have to get back to work. But I thank you. I give thanks to you every day that I am here in this wonderful country.”

I got up and hugged her again. It felt good to hug her. She was my sister, and, when we were kids, I vowed always to protect her. I did a horrible job of that, of course, when I left her behind. I did a horrible job of that when I didn’t try hard enough to make sure that she stayed out of the family business. I prayed that I would get a chance to make it all up to her, though.

Natalia left, and I played with a paperweight, and then dug into the reports that she had prepared for me. I was pleasantly surprised at how orderly they were, and detailed. She seemed to have a knack for numbers as well, for she was able to interpret the data that she recovered very clearly.

So, it seemed that she was going to be an asset for my business as well.

I stayed at the office for the rest of the day and into the evening. I had to get prepared for my meetings with the Senate committees. I was on edge with them, and I had to be completely on top of everything that I needed to do and say. If I went into these meetings unprepared in the slightest, there was going to be hell to pay. I knew that.

About midnight, I finally went home. CJ would be waiting for me, and I looked forward to cuddling up with her. I needed to feel her warmth, and be close to her touch. I found that I craved that from her.

Everything was up in the air, still. My business, CJ’s rift with her mother, and Sophie were all things that were stressing me out. Even so, I couldn’t help but think that this was the best time of my life. I was with the woman I loved, and she was going to have my child.

What could possibly go wrong?