But I had Ezra in my corner. I brought my fingers up to my lips, almost as if to remind myself that it had happened.
He’d kissed me.
Chapter Fifteen
I stared at my ceiling in the dark, occasionally glancing at the clock. Its hands moved through time quicker than they should have. It was midnight before my eyes had shut for a full ten minutes.
I couldn’t sleep. My stomach was in knots, twisting tighter every time I thought of Jules. Sometimes I couldn’t breathe, I hurt so much.
I’d plugged my phone into the wall and put it on silent for the night. Not that anyone ever called me at night. But because I couldn’t sleep, I saw the light flash, indicating that someone was trying to get hold of me. I bounced out of bed, trying not to trip over the books strewn across the floor. I opened my cell to see I had a text. From a number I didn’t know.
It’s Ez. Stole your number from Jules’s cell. I’m outside. Need to talk.
He was outside. Outside?
I grabbed my galoshes, stuffing my PJ pants down into them. I slipped on a big sweatshirt and opened my door as quietly as I could.
Why did everything creak especially loud when you needed it to be quiet? I tiptoed down the stairs, pausing at the bottom to listen for any movement from my parents’ room.
Nothing.
I grabbed my key from the coatrack and slipped out the front door, locking it.
“Hey.”
I jumped a foot, about to let out the loudest yelp when a hand covered my mouth.
Ezra’s face came into view. “Sorry. I forget you can’t smell or hear. Or at least not like a shifter.” He removed his hand. I could see his amused smile in the light of the streetlamp.
“I just about had a heart attack,” I whispered. “If Mom and Dad found I snuck out, I’d be in trouble. I never get into trouble.” That was said more to myself.
“So I’m turning the good girl into a bad one?” His grin only got bigger.
My heart fluttered. It was weird to think he could hear that. “Don’t look so satisfied. I’m still plenty good.”
Holding my hand, he led me away from my house. “I have no doubts about that.” He stopped at the street. If he had said anything else, I wouldn’t have heard. I zoned in on the fact that he held my hand. “Your heart is beating like you’re on speed.” He walked into the street with me stumbling along.
“How do you know what a heart on speed sounds like?” I asked.
He led me back to the playground. He stopped short in the bordering trees and sniffed. “What?”
“I thought…” He sniffed again. “I thought I smelled…” He went silent. In fact, he went so still I wondered if I was holding hands with a statue. A very warm statue. “Gil, I can smell you, so you might as well come out.”
“Is he human?” I asked, noticing that he didn’t let go of my hand.
“Yeah. Wolves are kinda noticeable in the suburbs.” He inhaled deeply. “Gil. We gonna talk or what?” He spun around, with me still attached.
Gil walked out of the trees.
“Gil.”
Gil’s gaze took in both of us. “She’s a traitor.”
“No, she’s not. I’m the only one thinking clearly about it, and she’s not a traitor. There’s absolutely no logical reason for her to do any of it.”
“Yeah, because you’re thinking clearly,” Gil sneered, gesturing to our hands. “The second going rogue.”
Ezra’s hand tightened around mine. “I’m not going rogue. Alpha hasn’t pronounced sentence.” He edged in front of me, protective. “Just go home.”
Gil growled, baring his teeth.
“Don’t do it.” Ezra sounded calm. “You know I’m stronger than you.”
Gil’s nose began to elongate. Ezra pushed me backward, and I stumbled, but kept my balance. Ezra pulled off his shirt, and Gil fell to his hands.
“Gil!” Micah ran up from the opposite direction and stood in front of his brother, who froze. “Don’t.” Micah patted Gil’s head. “Relax.” Micah turned to us, his hand still on Gil’s head. “You provoked him.”
I stared at Ezra’s back as he approached Micah and Gil.
“He didn’t need provoking. He was halfway to shifting when he got here,” Ezra replied.
Gil’s face returned to normal. His eyes flickered to mine, then away.
“Mic, man.” Ezra rolled back his shoulders. “It’s not Sophie. It’s someone else, and if we could just—”
“You claimed her in spite of everything.” Micah got in Ezra’s face. “She worth defying pack?”
“She didn’t do it,” Ezra said through clenched teeth.
“I didn’t, but he’s not defying you guys. We’ll figure it out tomorrow.” I hurried up next to Ezra. His arm shot out to stop me.
Micah’s nostrils flared, and his yellow eyes narrowed at me.
“Micah?”
He growled at me, baring his human teeth.
Ezra pushed me behind him completely. “If you touch her…”
Micah retreated, taking a deep breath. He held up one finger. “Tomorrow. We will decide. You better figure it out by then, Varden.” He grabbed his brother by the collar of his leather jacket and dragged him toward the street.
Ezra waited several minutes after they were gone before grabbing his shirt and slipping it back on. He turned to me. “You’re shaking.” He took my hands in his. “You’re safe.”
My lower lip trembled. “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. He wanted to hurt me.” I swallowed. “This is not good. Like beyond not good.”
“Hey, hey, it’s late… Emotions are always off at night. You’re safe.” He pulled me into his arms, holding me. “They’re just not really thinking.”
“You keep saying that,” I said against his chest. “What if they never do?”
His arms tightened around me. “I just wanted to see you tonight. To talk to you about stuff. I’m sorry.”
I looked up at him. “You wanted to see me?”
He smiled. “I don’t kiss just anyone.” He touched his forehead on mine. “But I’ll take you home.” He started walking, his arm draped across my shoulders.
“What did you want to talk about?”
He stared at me for a second. “It can wait. Until all this is over.”
“You don’t seem worried.”
“I’d be an idiot if I didn’t worry, but I know you didn’t do it.” His smile was warm. “We’ll meet at lunch tomorrow, you and me. We’ll figure this out, OK?”
I nodded as we crossed the street to my house. “OK.” I pulled out my house key. “OK.” I stopped on the front step and looked at him.
“You’ll sleep OK?”
“Maybe.” I shrugged. “Was wide awake when you texted.”
He brushed my hair off my cheek, his fingers lingering. My heart sped up again. “Take something. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He leaned in to kiss me softly. “Night.”
“Night.” I forgot for a moment what had happened and just thought about how nice kissing Ezra was.
He waited for me to unlock the front door and go in before he ran off. I shut the door and locked it back. I smiled and turned to go upstairs.
Dad stood on the upper landing.
* * *
“You are to come home straight from school,” Mom told me as I spooned dry, tasteless cereal into my mouth. “Sophie, are you listening?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
She sighed. “Your dad and I are really worried. This isn’t like you.” She smoothed my hair. “I know it’s a boy.”
“It’s a lot of things.”
I was weirdly content to be grounded for two weeks. Something about being grounded felt normal and safe. Human. With everything going on, grounded sounded nice. Dad had raised his voice last night, and I’d cried, still jumpy from dealing with Micah and Gil. In the morning light, everything seemed like some weird dream. I felt like I hadn’t slept at all. Maybe an hour or two. My brain seemed incapable of thinking past wolves, Ezra, kissing and fear.
“I do still have some Show Choir rehearsals,” I said.
“And that’s fine.” She took her purse. “We love you.”
I smiled weakly at her. “I know. I love you too.”
She kissed my forehead and left for work. I took my mostly uneaten bowl of cereal and poured it down the garbage disposal, rinsed out the bowl, and stuck it in the dishwasher.
While I drove to school, I kept checking my rearview mirror, wondering if I’d see any of them, but the trip was uneventful. I opened my locker, idly listening to people as they passed. I missed Jules. I missed our sleepy morning conversations.
“You look like you didn’t get any sleep.” Ezra walked up to me, his backpack slung onto one shoulder.
“Not exactly what a girl wants to hear.”
He smiled. He smiled so much more. And his smile still made me dizzy in the head, unless that was the lack of sleep. “You’re still cute.”
My mouth dropped open. His grin widened.
“I’m grounded.” Why did I say that? I should have said thank you or something.
“What?”
“Dad was awake when I walked in last night.”
“Crap. Sorry.” He grimaced. “How long?”
“Two weeks. You are a bad influence.” I chuckled, shutting my locker. “It’s OK. I’ve never been grounded before.”
“You haven’t?”
I shook my head. We walked toward my next class.
“Wow. You don’t seem too upset.”
I shrugged. “Being told not to hang out with the people that hate me right now seems like a good thing.”
He nodded sympathetically, taking my hand. I stopped and looked at him, questioning. He grinned, pulled me close, and kissed me. “Guess we’ll have to make do here at school,” he murmured, kissing me again. I forgot that we were in public view of anyone passing and kissed back. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and his grip on my waist tightened. The warning bell rang.
He let go reluctantly. “I’ll see you in second period?”
I nodded, speechless.
He brushed my nose with his, breathing deeply. Smelling me. “Later,” he said, heading to his next class.
I waited for my internal trembling to lessen, then saw Summer and her friends at the end of the hall. If looks could kill…and I hated I’d even thought that. I checked my bag again, dizzy from kissing Ezra. And everything else.
“Did your dad pay him to suck face with you? So no one knows you like it with girls?”
I didn’t turn, but zipped up my bag, hoping by ignoring Summer, I’d be fine. I was spun around by a tight grip.
“I’m talking to you, fat lesbo.” She spat at me.
I didn’t look at her.
She stole my bag and tossed it to her friends before grabbing my chin hard, forcing me to look at her. “Is that what happened? ’Cause there’s no way a hottie like Ezra would ever…
ever
want a blob like you.” Her fingers were going to leave bruises. She threw my bag back at me, knocking the breath out of me. I let it fall, leaning over, gasping. “In your dreams, Blob.” She whirled around and left.
I finally got my breath back and stood. I wiped my eyes, vaguely thinking about mentioning homeschooling to my parents. When I’d recovered, I picked up my bag and headed to English as the tardy bell rang.
Never been tardy before in my life. Never been to the principal’s office before.
Senior year was not turning out like I’d hoped.
I walked into class to see Jules, who’d moved to the back row. Her entire body went rigid. She probably knew the sound of my walk as well as my scent. But she didn’t look my way. In fact, it seemed like she purposely kept her eyes on her desk.
“There a reason you’re late?” Mr. Townsend asked.
“I’m sorry,” I said quickly, taking my regular seat. I was too scared to come up with a lie. Too scared to look back at Jules. Scared of my best friend. I didn’t know what she’d do. I had to give her time. It had to get better.
Today was Wednesday. Which meant it was time for GTV.
Normally, I’d ignore it, but as I was trying to distract myself from the glare I could feel on the back of my head from Jules, I started listening toward the end of the video.
“We’re starting a new segment just for fun called, ‘Is it Real or Fake?’” Some blonde girl spoke right into the camera, very perky. “This video was given to us to use and if you can make it out, it looks like one of our own seniors is in it. We call it ‘Werewolf.’”
My eyes shot to the TV screen to see a homemade video. Jumpy and dark. Lots of trees.
“Now this is how it’s done,” came an off-screen voice, which sounded like Micah. In the frame of the camera was a wolf. A light-colored wolf. And even though I couldn’t really tell, I’d bet its eyes were green.
Nausea took over.
But like a car wreck your gaze can’t leave, I kept watching the screen. I heard the familiar sound of cracking joints and stretching muscles. On the screen, the wolf began to stretch and transform. It felt like slow motion, when the worst part of a movie is drawn out for your torture. I wanted to scream out for it to stop.
And then it did, the TV screen going black before the wolf went completely human.
Ten seconds after that the room went black. Power outage. A babble of voices arose.
“Now everyone calm down,” Mr. Townsend said. “I’m sure it’ll be back on in a second.”
In any other school, the power going out wouldn’t be a big deal. With no storm or tornado or the like, it’d just be an inconvenience. But Gregory High was built like a prison. No windows except in the cafeteria and on the outside doors. The classroom doors had a tiny window that looked into the hallway, but that was all. Someone had explained to me once that the lack of windows cut heating bills, but the option of daydreaming by looking out the window during a particularly boring lesson wasn’t possible for us.
So when the lights went out the room was dark. Very dark. The window on the door let in faint gray light from the outside, but the day was cloudy and overcast.
I heard whispers, nervous giggles, and the occasional exclamation. I turned in my seat, trying to see if I could make out Jules in the dark. I saw the outline of her form and sensed her eyes on me. Hard, cold, and accusing.
“I didn’t do it,” I said softly, knowing that she with her superior ears could hear me. “I swear I didn’t.”
Without a word, her outline stood quietly and went to the door, avoiding any kind of closeness to me.
Mr. Townsend fumbled through his desk drawers. To find a flashlight? He said, “Whoever is moving, get back to your seat this instant.”