Prince of Scandal (14 page)

‘But Your Highness … Raul …’

Raul swung round, focusing on his secretary. Through all the years they’d worked together Lukas had been a stickler for formality, refusing Raul’s suggestion more than once that in private Lukas call him by name.

Fear churned in Raul’s belly that Lukas should choose this moment to bridge that gap. To put them on equal footing.

Why? Because he and Luisa …?

No! Raul refused to let himself think it.

Yet, like a spectre, the possibility hovered in the recesses of his brain, waiting to swamp him in a moment of weakness.

‘Leave us, Lukas.’

His voice was harsh with shock and a fear greater than anything he’d known.

Still Lukas didn’t move, but looked to Luisa who stood, fingers threading nervously before her.

‘Go, Lukas,’ she whispered. ‘It will be all right.’

Finally, with lagging steps he left. Raul heard the door click quietly behind him. Yet still Luisa didn’t meet his eyes.

Anxiety stretched each nerve to breaking point. He clenched his hands, forcing himself to wait till she was ready to talk.

‘It’s not what you think.’

‘You don’t know what I’m thinking.’ At this moment rational thought was almost beyond him. He was a mass of churning emotions. Only the voice that told him over and over that Luisa was
different,
was
his,
kept him sane.

She lifted her head and met his gaze and the familiar sizzle in his veins eased a fraction of the desperate tension in his body.

This was his Luisa. He refused to believe the worst.

‘Aren’t you going to ask about Lukas?’

‘I know you’ll tell me.’ He just prayed he was man enough to hear the truth.

She paced away, her steps short, her eyes averted as if she couldn’t bear to look at him. Fear knotted his brain.

‘He was helping me.’

‘Go on.’

‘He was teaching me to dance.’

‘Sorry?’ Raul stared, flummoxed by the unexpected response.

‘Teaching me to waltz, ready for the coronation ball.’ Luisa flashed him a challenging look. ‘At home our local dance was a disco in the school hall and I never learnt anything formal.’ She looked at a point over his shoulder. ‘It didn’t matter at our wedding because the country was in mourning and there was no dancing at the reception, but this time …’ She shrugged stiffly. ‘I didn’t want to disgrace you on your big day.’

Raul frowned. There was something so intimate about the idea of teaching Luisa to waltz. Holding her in his arms and showing her how to move her body with his.

‘You could have asked me.’ Surely that was the sort of thing husbands did? He’d have revelled in it.

What did it say about their marriage that she’d turned to his
secretary
to help her?

Colour washed her throat and her mouth pursed. ‘And make it obvious there was another simple thing I couldn’t do? You have no idea how hard it’s been to try to get everything right—the protocol and customs and language—and still I make so many mistakes. Besides—’ she drew a shaky breath ‘—it’s so basic. How embarrassing not even to know how to waltz.’

She blinked quickly and his heart compressed.

‘I don’t care if you can’t dance.’ His voice was rough as he stepped closer.

‘But I do. I wanted …’ She chewed her lip.

‘You thought anyone would care about your dancing ability? That I’d care? That’s absurd!’ Not after they’d shared so much. More than he’d shared with any other woman.

‘Absurd?’ She shook her head and spun away to pace the room again.

Raul wanted to tug her into his arms but the way she wrapped her arms round her torso and her strained expression told him this wasn’t the time.

‘What’s really absurd is marrying someone you don’t know. Giving yourself to someone who’ll never care for you. Can never care for you because he never got over the woman who hurt him years ago.’

Shock held Raul mute as her words lashed him. He couldn’t credit what he heard. Luisa believed he hadn’t got over Ana?

‘That’s not true!’

He reached for her, took her arm, but she shrugged out of his grasp.

Anguish lacerated him at her rejection.

‘Do you know how it feels knowing I wasn’t your first choice of wife, not even your second? That you married me because of who my grandfather was?’

She drew a huge shuddering sigh and Raul felt the full weight of regret bear down on him for all he’d done to this vibrant, special woman.

All through their relationship his needs had come first. She’d given him what he wanted, more than he’d ever dreamed possible, and all the time she’d suffered.

He’d known it, had felt pangs of guilt but never before had he truly faced the full magnitude of Luisa’s distress and loss. He’d conned himself into believing she’d begun to feel some of the pleasure he did in their union, shared some of his hopes for the future.

Reality hit him like a sledgehammer to the heart.

Raul shoved trembling hands into his pockets rather than reach for her. Clearly she didn’t want his touch. The knowledge burned like acid.

‘Is that why you’ve booked a flight to Sydney next week?’

Luisa’s mouth gaped then shut with a snap. ‘You know about that?’

‘I just found out.’ He waited. When she remained silent he prompted, hoping against hope there was another reason for her trip. ‘Is there a family emergency?’

She shook her head and he felt hope flicker and fade.

‘I wanted to go home.’ Her voice cracked and it was all Raul could do not to scoop her close.

‘This is your home.’ His voice was rough, emotion scouring each word.

She shook her head so fervently fine gold hair whirled around her face and he’d have sworn her eyes shimmered with tears. His stomach clenched as from a crippling blow.

‘I need time. Time away from here.’

Time away from him.

Something withered in Raul’s breast. Something he couldn’t put a name to. He’d hoped eventually she’d be happy with him, forget how he’d forced her to come here. Had he deluded himself, believing she’d come to care for him? That they’d begun to share something special?

But he couldn’t give up.

‘You belong here now, Luisa.’

He cut himself off before he could say she belonged to
him.

‘Do I?’ She spun away, her arms wrapped over her chest. She drew a shuddering breath. ‘I think it would be wise if I went away for a while. You see—’

‘Running away, Luisa?’ He couldn’t be hearing this. Only yesterday she’d snuggled, naked in his embrace, and he’d felt. he’d hoped.

She shook her head. ‘You’ll be crowned. You’ll have what you want.’ Her voice sounded muffled.

And what if it was
her
he wanted? It struck him with the force of absolute truth that he wanted nothing more than to spend his life with Luisa.

Why had he not seen it so clearly before?

The crown, even his country, meant nothing without Luisa.

Had he lost her for good?

Unbidden, an image rose of her and Lukas. Would they meet in Australia?

He refused to consider the possibility.

‘You can’t leave the day after the coronation. At least put off
the trip for a while.’ He needed time to make her see reason. Time to convince her to stay.

She stiffened. ‘I thought I should be there for the ceremony. But maybe it would be better if—’

She stopped as his mobile phone beeped insistently. With an impatient click of his tongue Raul reached into his pocket and switched it off.

‘That’s your private line. It’s probably important.’

He stalked towards her, in no mood to be distracted.
‘This
is important, Luisa.’

The sound of Luisa’s landline ringing cut across his words. Before he could prevent her, she’d lifted the receiver, as if eager for the interruption.

‘It’s for you.’ She held out the receiver to him. ‘The government’s legal counsel says he has to speak with you.’

Raul hesitated. They needed to discuss this now. But the matter he’d had the lawyers working on would surely help his cause with Luisa. He was desperate enough to clutch at anything that would help.

He reached for the phone.

Luisa watched Raul, so intent on the lawyer’s news.

See? She’d been right about his priorities. As his wife she came somewhere near the bottom.

He’d challenged her about her trip to Australia and she’d waited, half dreading, half hoping he’d decree she couldn’t go, say she had to remain, not for reasons of state but because he couldn’t bear to be parted from her.

She’d imagined being swept into his arms, hauled against his hard torso and imprisoned there. Because he loved her as she loved him and he refused to release her.

Reality was so different.

‘There’s something I need to attend to.’

Wearily she nodded. There’d always be something more important than the state of their marriage. Dejectedly she wondered if perhaps it would be better if she left and didn’t return.

‘Luisa, did you hear me?’

‘Sorry?’ She looked up to find him already reaching for the door.

‘I said we need to talk,
properly.
I’ll be back as soon as I can.’

Luisa nodded, donning the mask of composure that now felt brittle enough to crack. Or was that her heart? Her last hope for a real marriage had just shattered.

‘T
HANK YOU,
everyone.’ Raul nodded to the High Court judges, the Attorney General and the other witnesses who’d been urgently summoned two hours ago on his orders to witness this history-altering event.

In other circumstances he’d be excited at the prospect of initiating such significant change. But it was all he could do to wait patiently while they filed slowly from the chamber, leaving him alone.

So alone.

His mind snagged on the image of Luisa just hours ago in her room, pale and strained as she spoke of the need to get away. The hurt she’d felt at her place in his life.

How deeply he’d injured her, forcing her into his world.

Was he doing the right thing now, trying to tie her to him more strongly than ever? He looked at the parchment on the desk, checked, signed, countersigned and witnessed. The document he’d long planned as a surprise for Luisa, a testament of his regard for her.

The document that now represented his last-ditch, desperate effort to convince her to stay.

Did he have the right to try to hold her when life with him had made her so patently unhappy?

Until today he’d thought her content. More than content: happy.

Was he doomed never to find that emotional closeness Luisa
had spoken of so longingly? Was he simply not the right man to make her happy?

Pain seared through his clenched jaw at the notion of letting her go.

Terror engulfed him at the thought of life without her.

But who could blame her? He’d never experienced real love and surely that lack had left him emotionally flawed. Was he incapable of providing what she needed in a husband?

If she wanted to be here it would be different. Together they could face anything. If she cared for him …

His bark of raw laughter was loud in the silence. How could Luisa care for him after what he’d done to her? He’d deluded himself, believing things had changed between them these past weeks. The way she’d shied from his touch this evening said it all.

He turned to the window and looked at the glitter of city lights below. Normally he enjoyed the view of the capital he loved, the valley that had been home to his family for centuries. That sense of place, of belonging, always brought comfort.

Not now. Now all he felt was the terrible aloneness.

Life without Luisa.

He couldn’t conceive it. His brain shut down every time he thought about it and a terrible hollow ache filled him. His very hands shook at the idea of her on a plane to Australia without him.

He should do the honourable thing and let her go. Release her from this life she’d never desired.

Yet he wanted to throw back his head and howl his despair at the idea of losing her. His pulse raced and his skin prickled with sweat at the thought of never seeing her again. Never holding her.

Never telling her how he felt.

Excruciating pain ripped at him, giant talons that tore at his soul.

It was no good, try as he might to be self-sacrificing, this was more than he could bear. It was asking too much.

He grabbed the parchment and rolled it quickly, heedless of the still drying wax seals. Turning on his heel he strode to the door.

Luisa woke slowly, clinging to a surprisingly wonderful dream.

After hours pacing the floor she’d retreated to bed. And still she’d tortured herself reliving the blank look on Raul’s face as he’d left her, already intent on other business. The fact that he hadn’t countermanded her trip to Sydney. That he didn’t care.

Now she felt … safe, cocooned in a warm haven that protected her from everything. She didn’t want to move.

But she had no choice. Even in her half aware state she registered the sick feeling, the rising nausea. She breathed deep, trying to force it back but it was no good.

With a desperate lurch she struggled upright, only to find her movements impeded by the large man wrapped around her back. His legs spooned hers, his palm on her stomach.

‘Raul!’ It was a raw croak. What was he doing here? When had he—?

Her stomach heaved and she thrust his confining arm away, swinging her legs off the bed.

‘Luisa!’ His voice was sharp. ‘What’s wrong?’

She had no time for explanations. She stumbled across the room, one hand to her stomach, the other clamped to her mouth as she tasted bile.

Miraculously the bathroom door swung open and she dived in just in time to brace herself as her last meal resurfaced. Her legs wobbled so much her knees folded and she almost crumpled to the floor.

But an arm lashed round her, keeping her upright with all Raul’s formidable strength. Behind her she felt his body, hot and solid, anchoring her.

Then she bent, retching as the paroxysm of nausea overcame her. Her skin prickled horribly and searing bitterness filled her
as her stomach spasmed again and again till there was nothing more to bring up.

She slumped, trembling and spent, eyes closed as she tried to summon strength to move.

Her head spun, or did she imagine movement? Next thing she knew she was seated on the side of the bath and she sighed her gratitude as every muscle melted. Raul supported her and she couldn’t summon the energy to order him out. Not when he was all that kept her upright.

Then, like a blessing, a damp cloth brushed her forehead, her cheeks and throat, her dry lips. She turned her face into it gratefully.

‘Drink this.’ A glass nudged her mouth. Gratefully she sipped cool water. The damp cloth wiped her forehead again and she almost moaned in relief. She was weak as a kitten.

How could she face Raul now? Why was he here?

Tears stung as exhaustion and self-pity flooded her.

‘You’re ill. I’ll call a doctor.’ She opened her eyes to meet a worried dark green gaze. Raul looked grim.

She wanted to sit, basking in her husband’s concern, pretending it meant more than it surely did.

‘No. I’m not ill. It’s perfectly normal. A doctor won’t help with this.’

Belatedly she realised what she’d said as Raul’s brows arched. Shock froze his features as he read the implications of her nausea.

She’d meant to tell him soon. But not like this.

‘Please,’ she said quickly. ‘I need privacy to freshen up.’ She refused to have this conversation on the edge of the bath, with her hair matted across her clammy brow.

Luisa turned away, not wanting to see suspicion darken his gaze. Pain welled and she bit her lip. After seeing her with Lukas it would be no surprise if Raul questioned the baby’s paternity. He hadn’t said he believed her explanation of why she’d been in Lukas’ embrace.

Raul left the room without a word.

She should have been grateful but felt only despair that he’d
been eager to go. So much for her fantasy of them bonding over their child!

Luisa took her time in the bathroom, but when she opened the door Raul was there. To her astonishment he swooped, scooping her into his arms.

‘I can walk.’ But her protest was half-hearted. His embrace was magic, even knowing it didn’t mean anything. Raul was a man for whom duty was paramount. Tending to a pregnant female would come naturally.

He deposited her on the bed, where plumped up pillows sat against the headboard. He drew the coverlet over her and reached for something on the bedside table.

‘Here. Try this.’ It was a plate of salted crackers. He must have ordered them while she was in the bathroom.

‘I’m not an invalid.’ Luisa pushed them aside and fought not to succumb to the sweet delight of being cared for. Absurdly, the thoughtful gesture made her eyes swim, despite her anger and distress.

It didn’t help that Raul looked wonderful. Faded denim stretched across his taut, powerful thighs. He wore a black pullover, sleeves bunched up to reveal strong, sinewy forearms. He was even more gorgeous than in one of his suave suits. Would she ever see him like this again? Her throat closed as she realised the answer was probably no.

The bed sank as he sat, facing her. Luisa’s heart squeezed.

‘You’re pregnant.’ It was a statement.

‘I think so. But if I am it’s your child.’ She met his impenetrable gaze defiantly. ‘It’s got nothing to do with Lukas.’

He reached out and smoothed a lock of hair off her brow. Luisa’s breath caught at the seeming tenderness of the gesture. She told herself she was a fool.

‘I didn’t think it had.’

‘Oh.’ She sank back, stunned.

‘Have you seen a doctor?’

‘No. It’s still early.’ She knew exactly when their baby had
been conceived: that first tempestuous night of marriage, when she’d learned about ecstasy and heartache.

But Raul’s calm acceptance surprised her. ‘So you never thought—?’

He shook his head. ‘I can’t lie and say it didn’t occur to me.’ His eyes slid from hers. ‘But when would you have time for an affair? It’s
my
bed you share?
My
sofa.
My
desk.’

‘You’ve made your point!’ He didn’t have to remind her how needy she was for him. How he only had to tilt one dark eyebrow in delicious invitation for her pulse to thrum with anticipation.

She stared hard into his face, trying to decipher his thoughts. Bewildered, she shook her head. ‘I thought you’d believe—’

‘That my wife was having an affair with my secretary?’ Raul grimaced and placed has hand over hers. She felt heat, power and solidity, and she couldn’t bring herself to dislodge his hand.

‘I admit it was an unpleasant shock.’ He tightened his hold and drew a deep breath that expanded his chest mightily. ‘But I’ve come to know you, Luisa. You’d never go behind my back with another man. You’re honest, genuine and caring. You wouldn’t behave like that.’ The words fell like nourishing rain in her parched soul.

He believed in her?

Her hands trembled with the shock of it.

‘I know Lukas too,’ he continued. ‘We’ve worked together for years. How could I believe the worst, knowing you both?’

‘I—’ Words failed her. Such trust, when Raul had been so badly hurt before, and in the face of such evidence, stunned her. She’d expected a myriad of questions at the very least. Her heart swelled.

‘I thought after Ana—’

‘Forget Ana. I was a fool ever believing myself in love with her. But I got over her years ago. This is about you and me, Luisa. No one else.’

Raul’s intense stare pinioned her, even as relief flared deep
inside at the knowledge the other woman was no rival for Raul’s affection. She’d worried about that so long! A burgeoning sense of lightness filled her.

‘Luisa.’ Her name was a sudden hoarse rasp that startled her. ‘I want you to stay. Here, with me. Don’t go to Sydney.’

The trembling in her hands intensified as tenuous joy rose. He believed in her! He wanted her!

It took a moment to realise why.

Disillusionment was bitter on her tongue. She tried to pull away but his grasp tightened.

‘Because of the baby! You want your heir.’ That was why he’d changed his mind about her going. This was about bloodlines. How could she have thought otherwise? She knew to her cost how important royal blood was in this place. Her heart spasmed in distress.

‘Of course I want to be with the baby and you.’

She shook her head, a lead weight settling on her chest. The pain was worse now, more intense after that single moment of hope. She almost cried out.

Despite her efforts to make a place for herself here, Luisa knew she was too impulsive, too casual, too ready to bend the rules to make a good monarch’s wife.

It wasn’t Luisa he wanted, just her unborn child.

‘Please let go of me. This won’t work.’ She didn’t know how she summoned the strength to speak calmly, when inside it felt as if she were crumbling.

For what seemed an age he held her, his gaze sharp on her face. Then finally, when she’d almost given up on him responding, he released her and turned away, his shoulders hunching.

Instantly Luisa missed his warmth, his strength. She looked at her hands, where he’d gripped her so tightly, and it hit her she wasn’t trembling any more.

Stunned, she looked to Raul, the distracted way he shoved a hand through his hair. She stared, not believing what she saw.

It was
him.
He was shaking all over.

‘Raul?’ Luisa’s voice sounded hollow, as if it came from far away. She didn’t understand what was going on. Her big, strong husband shook like a leaf.

‘Raul! What is it?’

He didn’t answer and she reached out a tentative hand to his shoulder. She felt the tremors running through his large frame.

‘Raul!’ Fear welled. Was he ill?

‘I can’t. I …’ His head sank between his shoulders.

Frantically Luisa tugged at his upper arm, turning him towards her. She rose onto her knees and shuffled closer.

‘What is it? Please, tell me.’

Finally he swung his head towards her. He was haggard as she’d never seen him, his flesh drawn too tight across the bones. Only his eyes looked alive in that spare face. They glittered, overbright.

‘I can’t lose you, Luisa.’ His voice was a whisper of anguish that tore at her. ‘God help me, I can’t let you go. When you said you had to get away I knew I couldn’t force you to stay any longer. But …’

‘Raul?’ She gulped. ‘I don’t understand. What are you saying?’

Luisa stared, dumbfounded, at the man she’d heard give speeches in four languages, charming, persuasive Raul, struggling to get his words out. Her grip eased on his arm and her hand slid up in a soothing caress.

‘I need to look after you, Luisa. You and our baby.’ Her heart somersaulted at the sound of those words:
our baby.

‘We’ll come to some arrangement.’ Much as the idea of part-time parents pained her, she knew their baby needed them both.

‘I don’t want
an arrangement.’
He lifted his head, the glitter in his eyes different, almost dangerous. ‘I want my wife and child. Here.’ He reached out to grab a rolled up paper from the foot of the bed. ‘This will prove how much I want you
here.’

With fumbling hands he thrust it at her, almost ripping the thick parchment as he hastened to unroll it.