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“Admit it.”

“All right. I get scared sometimes. I admit it. We’ll have to be brave together.”

She smiled, proud that she’d got me to say it. “Thanks for being here, Billy.”

“Don’t mention it.”

We sat quietly for a long time, then she said, “I’m sleepy now.” She closed her eyes and her breathing slowed as she drifted off to sleep. I watched her sleep for a while before I pulled my phone out and texted Hank Pollert to tell him I wasn’t going to be at work on time and would make up for it by staying late. He was going to be pissed, but I didn’t feel like leaving. I put my head down on the bed and fell asleep still holding Shae-Lynn’s hand.

At five in the morning, a nurse came in and woke me up. I stood and kissed Shae-Lynn on the forehead. She opened her eyes and smiled. “Hey.”

“Hey. They’re kicking me out, and I’ve got to get home for work,” I whispered.

“Okay. Thanks for staying.”

“I’ll call you.”

She squeezed my hand one more time before I left. It took over six hours to get back to Saskatoon. I couldn’t tell if Hank was more mad that I didn’t get to work until lunchtime, or that I was so tired I was moving at half my normal speed. It took me until eight o’clock at night before I got all the work done. My phone buzzed the entire day with messages from Cole, but I ignored them because I didn’t have the energy to deal with him.

When I finally pulled into the driveway at Mom’s house, he came bursting out the front door. “Where the hell have you been? Mom’s been worried sick.”

“Edmonton.”

He shoved me. “Where’s my camper?”

“I gave it to Mutt.”

He punched me in the same spot Mitch had already hit me.

“God damn it.” I leaned over to spit blood. “Do not start with me. I’m already pissed at you. If you provoke me, I might kill you.”

“Not if I kill you first.”

“What is your problem? You lost that camper to Mutt fair and square. And while we’re on the subject, I also found out that you lost almost fifty thousand dollars in side betting. How do you plan on paying that off?”

He looked over his shoulder at the house as if he was worried that Mom might be listening. “I was planning on selling the camper, dumbass.”

“That would have only covered half of it and you’d still owe Mutt.”

“I don’t mind owing Mutt. It’s not like he’s going to break my legs if I don’t pay him in thirty days.”

“I didn’t know you owed those other guys.”

“That’s because it’s my business. Not yours.”

“Yeah, well, it becomes my business when you’re locked up in a psych ward and they try to collect from me or Mom.”

“If you didn’t stick your nose in it, I could have paid them back and worked off my debt to Mutt. Just stay out of my business. I’ll take care of it.”

“Oh, really? Like you take care of everything else? You don’t even have a real job.” I shook my head, tired of his shit, and tried to push past him.

He shoved me back. “Stop acting like you’re the only one who can fix things.”

“I’ll be happy to do that as soon as you stop acting like a God damn useless piece of shit who fucks up everything he goes near.”

His eyebrows twitched slightly and his face tightened. “I said I would take care of it.”

“I don’t see how you can.”

“I’ll figure it out.”

“Forgive me if I don’t believe you,” I yelled.

He pointed at me in a threat. “I’m getting really sick of your superior attitude. Just because Dad liked you better doesn’t make you better than me.”

“Yeah, well prove it once and a while.”

He swung at me again, but I ducked and rammed my shoulder into his ribs to force him to the ground. I pounded on him and he fought back real hard. We rolled around on the grass — I was trying to get my arm around his throat so I could strangle him, and it felt as if he was trying to pull my arm behind my back so he could break it. The screen door slammed, and Mom shouted, “Cut it out!”

I rammed my elbow into his nose and he kneed me in the nuts. I groaned and rolled off him. We were both bleeding.

“What the hell has gotten into you two?” She stormed down onto the front lawn and grabbed Cole by his ear to make him stand.

“Ow. Nothing. We we’re just horsing around,” he muttered.

She let go of his ear and pushed his chest. “Don’t lie to me.” She stepped over and pulled the collar of my shirt to make me stand up. “What are you fighting about?” she asked me.

“Ask Cole. He’s going to take care of it all, so he might as well start by telling you what he’s done.” I rubbed my sleeve under my nose to wipe away the blood that was dripping.

“He just got out of the hospital, Billy. Why are you beating on him?”

“Oh, poor Cole. I forgot. He’s crazy, so he’s got a convenient excuse for never taking accountability for anything.”

“Billy,” she gasped.

“What? I’m sick of it. He does whatever bullshit he wants, I suffer all the consequences, he apologizes, and then I keep going back for more abuse like a God damn idiot.” I pointed at Cole. “Tell her what you did and figure out a way to get yourself out of it. I need to be at the bar in less than two hours. I’m going to take a nap. Don’t bother me.” I climbed the porch steps and slammed the screen door behind me.

There were envelopes from the bank and credit card companies on the counter next to a letter addressed to me from the University of Saskatchewan. One of the bills had ‘PAST DUE’ and two of them had ‘FINAL NOTICE’ stamped in red on the outside. I didn’t even bother washing up or changing. I dropped face down on my bed and didn’t move.

When my alarm went off an hour and a half later, I rolled over. Every part of my body was in pain, and the brief nap made me even grumpier. I took a shower, then sat on the edge of my bed to call Shae-Lynn. There was no answer, so I left a message. “Hey. I’m working tonight at the bar. If you can’t sleep, give me a call after two-thirty. Hope you’re feeling all right. Take care.”

I hung up and dialled Tawnie’s number.

She sounded happy to hear from me.

“How are you doing?” I asked.

“Good, my girlfriend is going to stay with me until my grandparents get back.”

“When do you think the cops will let him out of jail?”

“He’s already out,” she said as if she wasn’t impressed, but wasn’t surprised either.

“Really? How do they know he won’t go by your house?”

“They don’t.”

Jesus. What’s the point of having him arrested? “Maybe you should stay at your girlfriend’s place instead.”

“I can’t. I have to take care of the horses.”

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. “Lock the doors and sleep with the phone next to your pillow.”

“Yeah, yeah. Stop worrying; you’re going to make that wrinkle between your eyebrows permanent.”

I checked the clock and stood up. “Sorry to cut this short, but I have to go to work.”

“It’s fine. Thanks for calling.”

“Don’t mention it.” I hung up and left the house.

As soon as I walked in the bar, I saw the one person who could make my weekend worse. He was sitting at a table by himself drinking a beer. He didn’t notice me walk in, so I scooted behind the bar and started working, hoping to avoid talking to him. When he finished his beer, he walked over and sat on a barstool in front of me. I slid a bottle towards him and didn’t bother asking for his money. Two girls who wanted body shots leaned over the end of the bar and shouted at me, so I left him sitting there. When I eventually looked back at him, he was staring at me. I sighed and walked over to talk to him.

“What do you want, Blake?”

“To make a deal with you.”

“I’m not interested.”

“You don’t even know what it is.”

“I don’t care. I don’t want anything to do with you or your dad. Cole’s problems are his, not mine. Don’t try to make them mine and don’t go anywhere near my mom.”

“I have an idea that could get Cole out of trouble without him actually having to come up with all the money.”

“Not interested.” I slid two beers to the guy next to Blake and took the money.

“Just hear me out.” He leaned forward and rested his elbows on the bar so he wouldn’t be shouting. “If you enter the winner takes all stock event —”

“I’m retired,” I interrupted.

“All you have to do is ride one bull and Cole’s debt will be erased.”

“Not if I don’t win.”

“I’m not talking about the prize money. You just have to ride and Cole’s debt will be forgiven.”

“Why?”

He smirked, obviously assuming I was stupid enough to agree to a deal I didn’t know anything about. “It just will be.”

“How? Is your dad going to bet against me?”

“Just register and ride. You don’t need to know all the details,” he said, losing his patience.

“Is he expecting me to throw the competition somehow?”

He looked over his shoulder to make sure nobody was listening to us. “I didn’t say that. Do you want your brother’s debt to be erased or not?”

“Tell me how they’re planning on fixing the betting.”

“I didn’t say it was going to be fixed.”

I served a couple more drinks, then focused on him again. “So, all I have to do is ride my best. If I win, I take the purse and Cole’s debt is erased. If I lose, Cole’s debt is erased, just because.”

Since it sounded like I was considering it, he smiled. “Yeah. It’s a no-brainer if you ask me.”

“I’m not interested.”

Shocked that I turned it down, he pushed his hat back. “Are you crazy? That’s a win-win.”

“I don’t want to be involved in whatever you and your dad are up to. I’d rather just pay him off fair and square.”

“You’re an idiot,” he scoffed.

“If you say so. I have to get back to work. Are we done here?”

“Yeah.” He stood and threw cash onto the bar to pay for his beer. “You should probably think about the offer. People you love could get hurt when the debt collectors come calling. When you change your mind, let me know.”

“Don’t hold your breath, and don’t try to rope Cole into any deals either.”

“They don’t want to do the deal with him.”

Although I wanted him to leave, I was also curious what made him offer the deal in the first place. “Why?”

“Cole’s not as good as you.”

“He’s better than me. I haven’t ridden in almost a year.”

“You’re still ranked higher than me.”

I was beyond pissed off with his attitude, so I fired back, “That’s because you suck shit.”

“Yeah? Sign up for the event and put your money where your mouth is.”

“Bye, Blake.”

He sneered, tipped his hat, and left.

“Who was that?” the owner of the bar, Stephanie, asked as she stepped next to me to mix a piña colada for an older lady who was sitting at the bar by herself.

“Nobody. He rides on the circuit.”

“You don’t like him, do you?”

“Nope.”

“I do.” She pulled a bunch of bills out of her bra strap. “He tips well and he talked to Maurice, so I didn’t have to.” I looked over at Maurice, the town drunk who rambled on about the world coming to an end to pretty much anyone who would listen. Most people avoided him unless they could look past the crazy and see that he was just a lonely old guy who needed someone to talk to.

“What did he want?” Stephanie asked, referring to Blake.

I poured shots of whiskey. They were for three of the ranch hands I worked with at Hank’s, so I didn’t charge them. “He wants me to ride in a competition.”

“You should. When you beat him it will knock that smug look off his face.” She wiped the spills off the bar with a towel.

“I don’t know if I can beat him anymore.”

“Isn’t riding a bull like riding a bike?”

“I don’t know.” And, honestly, I wasn’t sure if I could do it anymore.

“You still got it in you,” she said encouragingly and readjusted her top to show more cleavage. “You need to stop giving all those drinks away for free. You’re going to put me out of business.”

“This place is packed. I pull in more business for you than you know what to do with.”

“Oh yeah, Billy Ray Ryan, hot bull riding champion working the bar at the Palomino.” She laughed. “How long do you think that’s going to be good for business?”

“Until I’m sixty or something.”

“Yeah, I doubt that. Nobody cares about washed up rodeo has-beens. Get back to riding, or start taking their money and pocket those tips while you still can.” She whipped the towel at my ass, then walked down to the other end of the bar to flirt with a couple of her old-timer regulars.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. I never took calls when I was working, but it was Shae-Lynn, so I picked up.

“Oh, hey.” She sounded surprised. “I didn’t expect you to answer. I was just going to leave a message. I thought you were working.”

“I am, but I can talk and work. Pouring drinks isn’t exactly brain surgery.”

“Aren’t you going to get in trouble?”

I glanced over at Stephanie. She glared at me like a mother scolding her child. I shrugged innocently and smiled at her. “My boss likes me. She lets me get away with stuff.” I slid two long necks across the bar to a guy who looked like an off-duty cop. I took his money and put it in the till.

“Is your boss pretty?”

“Uh, yeah. Her prime was before I was born, but she’s still hot in a coyote ugly way.”

“Have you slept with her?”

I laughed. “No. She’s married and has three kids.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize that you have standards.”

“You think I’m a man-whore?”

She thought about before answering, “More like a mustang.”

“Mustangs can be gentled with the right handler.”

She was quiet for a while before she said, “They have to want to leave their wild side in the past.”

“Yeah, well living wild gets hard after a while. What were you going to say in your message?”

“Oh, just that they gave me some sleeping pills, so I probably won’t be awake when you finish your shift. I didn’t want you to think I didn’t want to talk to you, because I did, or I do, or whatever.”

I smiled at her honesty and leaned against the counter along the back wall. “How are you feeling? Can you move any better?”

“I’m a bit stronger. I’m bored though.”

Customers were lined up at the bar, but I didn’t care. “Whenever I get laid up I read.”

Shae-Lynn groaned, frustrated. “I read two books today cover to cover. It didn’t help.”

“You’re not supposed to read so fast. The trick to being hospitalized is to slow down. Going to the restroom is your event for the morning. Taking a nap is your event for the afternoon. Getting a sponge bath is your event for the evening. Then you read one chapter and call it a day.”

“I can’t live like that. Besides, I’m pretty sure sponge baths from the nurse are a little different experience for me than they are for you.”