Rapture (14 page)

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14
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Alika

After we shared breakfast on Monday morning, I was beyond excited when Rush ended up coming back for dinner later that evening. It showed me that if I did end up with him, I had an instant in to his stomach. The man liked to eat. And he cleaned a plate which is what every girl wants to happen when she slaves over a meal. When Rush showed up at the door saying that he detected something delicious cooking, I was more than happy to invite him in to share the spaghetti, garlic bread, and corn on the cob meal I had prepared. It also gave me the chance to make him the drink I told him I’d make for him: Blue Sapphire, adding Ciroc to the recipe—which he loved.

When he left, I’d had an entire night to think about things that had transpired. And I mean I thought about
everything
. That nightmare of a situation with Curtis, ending up in Rush’s car, and even Rush taking me in not knowing me from a can of paint. My wimping out when he came for breakfast. Him taking care of me, if even from a distance, and willing to give me a chance at a new life. Over the past few days, we had bonded as friends and exchanged plenty of information about one another. Maybe that was what the entire delay was about—building a friendship first. That was very much something that I was missing in all my past relationships with other men. It was different.

He was everything I needed. He was everything I wanted.

He was always a gentleman with me. He never crossed any boundaries. But I could already tell that when he did cross them, he would do it with purpose, and in the process, leave behind memories that were sure to last a lifetime. I saw that behind his eyes. I felt it in his touch. All the flirting that had been happening between us with the subliminal shots, I was always certain that when those occurrences happened, that I would be brave enough to confess my desires to him. But with each attempt, I became tongue-tied and then crouched behind insecurity.

During my trips to Chaos, and even when we were at home, I watched him. He had swag. He was cool without even trying. He smiled and laughed a lot. He was humble. He was honest. He was a man with goals and who never let anything get in his way. He possessed everything that I would list if I had to jot down all I wanted in a man. Wait; hold up…
I had written down everything that I wanted in a man
! I had forgotten all about that. The only thing that hadn’t been mentioned in that note was that he would be white, but there he was within reach. I guess I just needed to be woman enough to take the leap.

Enough thinking, Alika! Make the move!

I went into my walk-in closet, and started to look through the wardrobe that I had been building, and I smiled to myself.
When has a girl ever had it so good
? I went to my window and looked toward the main house and saw that lights were on throughout, so I knew that Rush was home—at least I hoped he was. I pulled a short pink, backless dress that stopped four plus inches above my knees, from the closet. I had fallen in love with it when I first tried it on because of the way it wrapped around me like a second skin. It dipped low in the front, and gave my cleavage just the right amount of emphasis. I put on a pink gloss, accentuated my eyes with eyeliner and mascara, before combing my wrap down and manipulating parts of it with my fingers. I fluffed my bang area a bit, and then tucked fallen pieces behind my ear. At the end, I added a pair of royal blue dangled earrings. Before I headed over to see Rush, I slid my pink, pedicured feet into a pair of royal blue BCBG Chari sandals. With each accessory I layered myself with, the nerves dissipated. I was ready to let Rush know what I wanted—him. I wanted to taste and be tasted. I wanted to touch and be touched. I didn’t have expectations of anything serious. I knew there would be time for that. But I was ready to be with him in an intimate way. I had already connected with him on an emotional level, so the physical I was more than ready for.

I checked myself in the mirror before I set out on my walk. I was pleased with what I saw…very pleased, and I knew that he would be too. When I closed the door behind me, I left all doubts behind as well. The time had come. When I reached the side entrance, I paused to gather myself and to smooth my dress down around me since it had inched a bit.

“Hey you,” I heard Rush say, as soon as I rounded the corner.

I grasped my chest with my hand. “You scared me!” I shrieked, my eyes immediately landing upon his. But this time I didn’t shy beneath his gaze.

“You, Ms. Collins, look good as fuck in that dress.”

“Thank you, Rush,” I responded, offering him the biggest smile I could muster.

“Finally taking a night out? I’d rather you let me send someone with you, just to be on the safe side. It’ll be your first time leaving out at night by yourself. Or are you going with someone? Nikki, Gigi?” he asked with pause.

As usual, he looked amazing. Whether he was casual or dressed up, he pulled off enticing. Tonight he was dressed casual, but with chic undertones in his dark tailored slacks and some kind of black v-neck fitted shirt, and leather dress shoes. His hair was perfect, and he had been freshly shaven, and his cologne lingered in the air.

All of a sudden, with his assumption about me going out, I became nervous as hell all over again. The bravado I felt just a short while ago was all the way ghost. I lost my voice, and I had a stupid ass half grin on my face in my effort to recover.

Do not punk out Alika! Do not!

“Don’t fight me on it, Alika. I’m gonna—”

“I'm not going out, Rush. I...uhh...”
Say it, girl
! “I...uhh...came for you,” I said, diverting my eyes away from his.

Finally! Now woman back up and look him in the eyes!

“
Ohhh
...” he smiled, as his eyes widened in surprise.

I felt a huge sense of relief that the words had finally been spoken. I released a thick sigh from between my lips, then returned his smile and stood nervously awaiting next steps, or the green light to run into his arms. But then the moment was hit with the loudest boom I’d ever heard…

“Rush, what’s taking you so long?”

At the sound of the voice, my eyes darted past Rush to see a woman standing in the doorway, and my heart sank. She sashayed further into the room, never taking her eyes off of me, and I got to see just how beautiful she was. Beautiful,
and white
. The woman was about my height, at 5’6”, and petite with blond hair and piercing green eyes. She was in a “fuck me” dress, much like the one I was wearing. Only she had her breasts out for the entire world to see, and they were pretty large cups. To the point that I felt enough discomfort to fold my arms across my modest ones. I watched as she subtly slid her arm through Rush’s, an instant pang of inadequacy. “Oh, we have company? Hi. My name is Cheryl. I’m Rush’s date. And you are?”

I was stuck in a trance and was trying to rebound without looking or sounding too stupid, when in fact there was no way to escape either. The only sane thing to do, while attempting to maintain my pride, was to get out of there as fast as I could.

“Oh, I’m sorry for interrupting. I was just leaving En…uh…joy your evening,” I said, tucking my tail and making a beeline back through the door from which I came.

I couldn’t get out of that house fast enough. I had a wave of emotions running through my head. Not just that, but my heart was breaking with each step I took. I swear it felt like I was running from Curtis all over again. Only this time I wasn’t running away from him, but from myself, just with the same vigor. There was no possible way that I could face Rush again after that confession-gone-wrong! Surely, he had figured out why I was there, and not only that, I'm sure that the Cheryl chick had too. In fact, I know she did! Why else would she feel the need to latch onto him the way she did?
Bitch
! She was establishing ownership! Piss on the damn tree, why don’t you, silly ass broad! I walked faster towards the guest house and removed my earrings as I made my escape. I couldn't wait to get inside and take all the shit off that I had on, take me a shower, and beg for sleep to come easy. It was time for me to grow the hell up and make some real adult moves with my life. Maybe Atlanta wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Before I knew it, I was crying.
Did you think he would be waiting around for your confused ass
?
No
!
He had an entire life before you
!
What made you think any of that would stop
?

Damn questions were on the fucking attack and I just wanted it all to stop. My hands were shaking so uncontrollably when I was pushing the key inside the door’s keyhole. Once I had the door open, I entered as quickly as I could. After I was on the other side, I came out of my heels and leaned my back against the wall and sank to the floor, where I could breathe freely and confront my emotions without fear of being seen. I sobbed hysterically, and I couldn’t stop. He was probably fucking her by now. She looked ready and so willing. I could still see the two of them standing there, arm in arm. I could still smell Rush’s cologne and see his freshly shaven mustache and beard, and those piercing eyes. I closed my eyes for a few seconds trying to shake the memory of my ultimate embarrassment. I tossed the earrings I had removed from my ears, onto the glass table that sat nearby. After a few minutes, I grabbed my shoes from the floor and rose from my spot so that I could make my way to the shower, and then to my bed. No doubt I would lay there squeezing my thighs together thinking about Rush.

Ugh!
Get a grip!
No!
That’s not what you’ll be doing. You’re gonna chalk this up as a loss and keep it moving. You’re stronger than that! You’ve overcome worse! This is a walk in the park. You’re going to start work on Friday and begin anew. That’s what you’re gonna do
,
Alika
!

I had finally talked myself off that pity ledge and removed myself from the front of the house, when a few yards away from the door, and with my foot on the last stair, I heard a light rapture at the door. I sat my shoes down on the stair and doubled back to look out the side window. I inhaled, then released a heavy sigh, then turned the lock and backed away from the door. “It’s open!” I yelled.

When Rush walked in, my breath caught in my throat, and I might’ve even stopped breathing altogether for a few seconds. He leered at me then closed the door behind him. Once my breathing caught back up with me, my chest began to quickly rise and fall at a speed much slower than my heartbeat. I didn’t know what to expect, but I knew what I hoped—that he was there for me. I stood firmly planted in my space waiting to see what he would do, or say.

“You’re not alone in the way you feel, Alika. You
are
desired. From those beautiful brown eyes, to that short, sassy haircut, to those beautiful breasts, to your lips…”

Dear Lord, he is awakening every part of my anatomy with his words! I swear he is!

“To the sway of your hips, and the curve of your ass…you
are
desired,” he admitted making his way towards me. “I’ve been waiting for you to come to me. It just had to be when you were
one-hundred percent ready
. When you resisted, I had to dig a little deep myself, and I had to think about how we met in the first place. You came out here with the intentions on seeing the person that you wanted to be your man. You traveled across states for that fairytale. It was thought out, it was planned.”

“Rush, it’s okay,” I said. I wanted him to stop talking because I was sure that even after all the beautiful things he’d said, that his purpose for coming, was to let me down easy. I shrugged my shoulders, in defeat. “You’re right, and I had no right—”

“So,” he continued, cutting my sentence in half. “I allowed you to have your space. Because
you
needed to be sure of what you wanted. And now that you’ve come to me, I know what it is that you want.”

I was mesmerized, and dangling like a loose leaf, on his every word. I watched his lips move as my want for him increased exponentially, and by the second. Especially, that now, he was standing mere inches from me, and staring mere inches away staring directly into my eyes.

“Just know that once I take you, there’s no going back. I play for keeps, Alika. Are you sure that you would be ready for that? I mean,
really
ready for that?”

Without hesitation, I responded: “I’m ready, Rush.”

“No pulling back, right?”

“No…” I whispered.

“Come here,” he said, and without hesitation I did just that.

The moment the space closed between us, his hands…our hands, were everywhere upon each other. He had backed me into the wall near the staircase, and kissed hungry trails along my neck and underneath my chin, around my earlobe, everywhere he could touch on the surface with his lips. He broke from the excitement briefly, but it was only to utter the words: “It can be as casual as you want. But I don’t think that either of us has to try to figure out right now exactly how serious we want this to be. I say we just take everything the moment has to offer.”

The way I surrendered to him let me know that I probably wouldn’t have rested peacefully until I got to test the waters. I was drawn to him, and I had no desire to put the brakes on anything that was happening. No, quite the contrary, I was eagerly anticipating the moment where my warmth was wrapped around his and I could feel the rock and sway of our bodies as we collided against each other in an impatient thrust of electrifying lovemaking.