Rapture (McKenzie Brothers) (2 page)

Five
Months Later

C
arla

What the hell is wrong with me?
I curse. Here I am hiding like a naughty child in the pantry wishing I could disappear. Better yet, wishing I hadn’t agreed to come today, but then I’d have upset Lily.

It isn’t fair! I stamp my foot and do an abrupt turn before I begin pacing back and forth trying to remember what I’ve come into the pantry for to begin with. I take a deep
calming breath, and lean against the pantry shelf.
Get it together Carla, you’re here for Lily!

I’ve
become friends with Lily over the past five months as well as her friend Sylvia. The last thing I want to do is let Lily down, especially while she’s so emotional, more so because of her pregnancy hormones.

I’ve
witnessed a few emotional times for Lily, which have been amusing in part; watching Michael, Lucien and on occasion Ramon try to hug her and mop her up. There was no way I could have missed today, even if I’d had prior warning that
he
was going to be here.

It is, after all Lily’s baby shower and
Pippa is holding the event at the McKenzie ranch for Lily. Baby showers are supposed to be for the women, right? The men folk are supposed to go and do something else, pat Michael on the back and tell him what a good job he did of knocking Lily up. But oh no, not the McKenzie men. Michael is standing guard over Lily, while he has everyone else fussing around her, waiting for his brothers to arrive.

Thanks to Ramon, I have
about ten minutes before the McKenzie men arrive, which is why I’m hiding in the pantry. If I’m honest with myself it wasn’t the McKenzie men I’m hiding from, but one in particular.
Sebastian.

Ever since Lily and Michael’s wedding
, I’ve been unable to get him out of my head, and when I think about him, I always end up hot and bothered with a longing so strong I don’t know what to do about it.

Once every two weeks
, Ramon takes me out to his parents’ place for Sunday lunch to spend a relaxing afternoon with his family. Except it isn’t relaxing for me. What it means is that every two weeks, I have to endure being so close to Sebastian without touching him. He always keeps his distance from me, which I know is for the best. But it doesn’t stop the flare of jealousy or the twinge of pain in my heart when his smile slips as he looks at me and he turns cold and aloof. A few times I’ve excused myself, and disappeared into the bathroom to try and pull myself together and to dab at my eyes.

A couple of times
, I’ve caught Lily watching me and know she realizes there’s something strange between Ramon and me. I’m just surprised Lily hasn’t asked anything because it’s unlike her to stay quiet.

I sigh and glance around at the shelves, hoping for an answer, or at least the item I’m looking for to come forward. Despite all the feelings for Sebastian, I love Ramon. He is
my best friend and has been for a few years. I met him when he’d been working up in Canada on a McKenzie project, or rather my brother had met him, introducing him to me, all three of us hitting it off straightaway. Despite having known Ramon for years, I only recently met his family leading up to Lily and Michael’s wedding.

It had been a surprise for me when I
first met Ramon’s family because not one of them knew who I was. When Ramon told them he’d known me for a few years, they’d all looked skeptical and I couldn’t blame them really. I suspected he hadn’t mentioned me to them previously because of his connection to my brother, Noah. That would have been awkward, considering what I suspect.

Neither, Ramon or I kno
w where my brother has disappeared to. One minute everything seemed to be going really well then the next he’d up and left Lexington without a word to Ramon or a message to me. I’d still been in Canada at the time, but he hadn’t come home or even called me to let me know he was okay.

I shudder at the thought. My life in Canada hadn’t been that great. After being knocked around by an ex-boyfri
end looking for my brother, I’d fled the country and arrived in Lexington two weeks later with multiple bruises and stitches above an eyebrow. I’d hoped that my brother was in Lexington to help me, but I turned up at Ramon’s door and my brother had been nowhere in sight.

Ramon had taken me in and we
’d come to a twelve-month agreement.

I
would live with him for twelve months and pretend to be his girlfriend. Why he needs a pretend girlfriend, I can’t figure out. Both my brother and Ramon had shared enough women when they were together in Canada so that couldn’t be the problem.

Idly running my fingers over a can of peas, I ponder the relationship between Ramon and my brother. I know, without a doubt, that
Ramon misses my brother and I sometimes wonder if there had been something more between them because Ramon seems too pissed that Noah has disappeared than that of a concerned friend.

Noah is a whole other problem. He might not be around, but I worry about him daily
. All I can do is hope that he’s all right because I refuse to think anything else.

Ramon has been supportive and it’s clear that he’s worried about Noah. He even hired a private investigate about eight months ago, but as yet there hasn’t been any trace of my brother.

Sighing, I look out of the window to my right and catch my reflection. Reaching up, I touch a dark curl, which has come loose from the clips holding the majority on the top of my head. I haven’t bothered with make-up, apart from the pink lip-gloss I’ve slathered over my plump lips. Ramon told me I look sultry. Whatever that means.

I slide my hand down the fine silk of my wraparound dress. The dress caresses my curves and the high heels on my feet make me look good. Unfortunately, I haven’t dressed for Sebastian
. If I’d known he was going to be here, I would have worn more clothes. The first chance he gets, Sebastian will probably find something cutting to say about my appearance, sending a dagger of pain straight through me.

With
a heavy heart, I realize I can’t stay hidden in the pantry all day, but maybe I can get away with a few more minutes.

Sebastian

Why am I dragging my feet about attending Lily’s baby shower?
I ask myself for the hundredth time, but I know the answer – C
arla.
One meeting at my brother’s wedding and I can’t forget about her. Every time I shut my eyes she’s there – smiling at me the way she has done over the past few months whenever I catch her at a weak moment. Other times, it’s more like a scowl.

I can’
t blame her really. Every time we meet, I go out of my way to avoid her and when we’re brought together I hardly speak to her. I’m an idiot. I’m in my thirties and acting like an embarrassed, teenage boy with my first crush.

I
t really claws at my gut that she’s with my brother and regardless of whether or not she stays with Ramon, which isn’t likely if she reacts to me the way she does, I can’t date her. In my early twenties, we’d all made a pack, never to date a brothers’ ex. A pack we’d kept all these years.
Fuck
.

J
umping down from the fence, I turn to make my way back to my parents’ house, having detoured on arrival to avoid going in.

As I
climbed out of Ruben’s truck, both he and Ramon had given me a strange look, but what the hell. We were suppose to meet Michael at his house after he’d gotten back from dropping Lily at the ranch, but my besotted brother has decided to do things differently and insisted on staying with Lily.

As I trudge up the steps to the porch my feet feel like lead. I do
n’t want to go inside, but know I have to. Just like I know that I’ll seek her out and speak to her, which always takes up a lot of my energy. I’m afraid that if I get to know her better, she’ll be even more under my skin than she already is. I’m tired of staying away from her. In fact, I’m damn right exhausted. From today on, I’m going to try and talk to her as an adult instead of a lovesick fool.

I trip
on the top step with that thought.
Hell no.
No way in hell can I be in love with Carla. I don’t do love, not like my sap of a brother, no way in fucking hell.

After the baby shower
, I’ll go and hang around Kenza, Ruben’s club, and get laid. That’s all I need, a release from all the tension, which has taken hold of me since I’ve met her.
Fuck
, I don’t want a nameless fuck. I want my brother’s woman. What kind of bastard does that make me?

And how sick am I? Five months, the exact amount of time since I’d last had sex. Oh, I’ve tried, but every tart that’s thrown herself at me just wasn’t good enough. I always ended up at home, my fist pumping around my shaft as Carla plays dirt
y games in my head. Sweat beads on the back of my neck just thinking about it. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve beaten off to the image of Carla – each time leaving me more frustrated than the last.

I can’t figure out what’
s going on between Carla and my brother. She lives with Ramon, which doesn’t sit well with me considering my obsession over her, but they never act like a couple in love, not like Michael and Lily.

As I reach the door, I run my hands over my face, a physical reminder that I’m allowing a mask to slip back over my features. As my hands run through my already messy hair, I sigh with a heavy hea
rt and brace myself. I’m ready to face Carla. Just as I’m about to push my way inside, the screen door flies open and narrowly misses smacking me in the face.

“
What the hell?” I curse, but I’m not sure if I’m cursing at myself for my distraction or at Ramon for running through the door.

“Sorry,”
Ramon grins while apologizing, not looking sorry at all.

“Yeah, right,” I mumble under my breath before I push
past Ramon and enter the foyer of my parents’ ranch house. The house that I still consider home even after living alone for the past ten or eleven years, give or take.

“Sebastian, you’re here. I asked Ramon to
go and look for you.” Lily walks towards me or rather waddles towards me.

A quick
glance at my brother causes the grin I’ve been trying to suppress to spread across my face. Michael is
pussy whipped,
big time
.

Michael has been on edge since Lily’s belly started to expand and this isn’t the first time Michael
’s followed her around, hovering to make sure she’s okay. Today is no exception and Michael looks like he’s ready to burst a gasket with Lily wandering around ignoring his suggestions.

When Lily reaches me, I pull her into my arms and hold her as close as I can with the huge stomach, which she always displays with pride, between us.

I smirk at Michael who’s
come up behind Lily and starts to rub her back.

“You look hot Lily. There is something to be
said about sexy, pregnant women, but I think I better give you back to your husband before we end up fighting, which will end up with us both getting dumped in one of the horse troths dad used to be fond of.” I place a kiss to Lily’s forehead.

As I release her
, Michael pulls her into his arms, smoothing the hair behind one of her ears. Despite my teasing words, Michael only has eyes for his wife and completely ignores my ribbing.

Just watching my
brother with his wife sends an ache through my chest.
Will I ever have what Michael has?
I wonder as my gaze scans the room. I know who I’m looking for even though it pains me to think of it. Until I met Carla, I never even considered having someone to call my own.
Christ
, I’m thirty-four and never had a relationship that lasted longer than a couple of weeks. I’ve never been interested, until now, and the woman I want is out of reach.

A slap on the back from my
father brings me in to the present.

“I don’t think a day went by without one
of you getting dipped in the troth. Fond memories,” Dad laughs, squeezing my shoulder.

“Yeah, and I seem to remember Sebastian
ending up in there more than the rest of us,” Ruben interrupts as he walks up and wraps his arm around my neck in a noose, laughing as he does.

Pushing him away
, I see Lily standing with her hands on her hips and her huge stomach sticking out. My eyes widen as it hits me – how ready Lily is to give birth.

“All this excitement is going to
send me into labor. You do realize that, right?”

If
I didn’t feel panicked at Lily’s announcement I’d have laughed at the look on everyone’s face, especially Michael’s.

I rub my hand ove
r my face and point behind Lily so she’d turn to see Michael, who is standing behind her, his face pale and pasty white and he almost looks ready to pass out.

Lily reaches up and takes hold of Michael’s face before pulling
him down to meet her lips.

T
urning away, I meet my mom’s eyes and she looks to be holding back tears. I finally remove my jacket and hold it in one hand as I pull my mom in for a hug.

“Are yo
u alright, Sebastian?” she asks softly against my chest, keeping her arms around me.

I have
to swallow the lump in my throat before I can answer her, “I will be.” I kiss her on the top of her head and release her before moving into the room completely.

“Go find Carla. She went to the pantry
to retrieve some more lemonade.” Mom gives me a gentle nudge towards the kitchen.

Shaking my head, I
wonder if Mom knows how obsessed I am with Carla. I feel as though I’ve kept it hidden well enough, but then again, is it possible to really keep anything from my mom? She used to frighten the hell out of us when we were kids with the things she knew.

At the small office,
now an outdoor room for coats, boots, etc., I open the door and toss my jacket onto the rack and miss. With an impatient sigh, I pick the jacket up from the floor shoving it on a peg before turning towards the pantry.