She thought she heard Jillie call out behind her, but the words faded away too quickly. A lot of junk was bouncing around inside her brain. And if she thought about it too much, she might just turn the horse around and make an utter idiot out of herself.
No chance. For once in her life she was acting on impulse. And she’d damned well better make the most of it—or die trying. She had to show Thad that she could survive on her own, if she put her mind to it.
****
Thad had called himself every kind of fool for the past two hours. Why he’d wasted all that time thinking she’d come back, he’d never know. Why he’d insulted her, pushed her out of his life, he’d never understand either.
Where in the hell is she?
Initially, his gut reaction was that she would high-tail her shapely derriere right back to him within five minutes of leaving. Later, he’d expected her to come careening back at the first roll of thunder. Or at least at the first shaft of lightning to split the distant sky. Hell, he never expected she would have headed out alone in the first place.
But he’d been the idiot. A fool. How could he have treated her like that? All he wanted to do was protect her and he’d ended up treating her like a child. And she had reacted in the only way Kim would react.
Without thinking.
He wasn’t dealing with some normal individual who did what was expected. He was dealing with Kim. He should have been ready for anything.
She meant what she said. She was actually going to try to make it to Elk Park. All by herself. Then she would head back to Kentucky—and out of his life.
And by God, she would probably make it. And they’d both be miserable for the rest of their days.
He’d been so frightened of losing her that he’d screwed up everything. And she’d had to prove her point. Prove to him that she could handle the wilderness. And worse, if he did find her, bring her back to the ranch, would she welcome his arrival? Or would it only confirm in her mind that he didn’t trust her instincts. That he didn’t think she could make it out here. Alone.
But the thought of her alone, out in this isolated wilderness, was the thing that spurred him on. He had to find her. She had no knowledge of the danger that might lie in wait for her. And he couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t try. If he found her and she was angry, then he’d suffer those consequences. He’d rather know she was safe and alive, than in trouble and he hadn’t even tried to save her.
He’d rather risk losing her, than not go after her at all.
The storm had subsided an hour or so earlier; he hadn’t picked up her trail yet. He knew the rain softened earth would easily reveal her horse’s hoof prints if he stumbled upon her trail. It would be the only evidence he’d need to assure himself that he was traveling in the right direction. He prayed, silently, and then in half-coherent mumbles, while his keen eyes searched for any sign, any clue, that she had been this way before him.
Inside his chest, his heart felt as though it had been chopped in two with a dull ax. The blood that the heavy organ forced through every vein and capillary of his body, burned with fear and remorse. How could he have said what he did?
How could he have told her he was afraid she couldn’t hack it?
Thad jerked the horse to a stop and arched his weary back. It was a moot point. She would leave him now, he was certain, no matter how earnestly he apologized. He’d breached all trust, broken all ties, and if he did find her, he’d simply explain his shortcomings and admit he was a horse’s ass, then he would see her to safety and head back to the ranch, where he’d sent Mack and Jillie hours before.
He was that sure the tables couldn’t be turned back in their favor.
But there was no way he would leave her to struggle with the wilderness. There was no way he’d leave her out here, stranded. Even if she was a fool for darting away from them like she did. Thad knew deep in his heart that he’d forced her hand on the issue, and that whatever happened to her out there, would all be on his shoulders.
His buckskin nickered and Thad aimed his gaze at the ground. Immediately, he heaved a sigh of relief and silently thanked the powers that be. Crossing in front of him, was a set of sloppy hoof prints in the mud.
A shiver of fear wrenched his soul. The hoof prints led directly into the river.
****
The cold seeped into Kim’s bones like an icy specter. It was the first conscious feeling she’d felt for the past two hours or more. Actually, she wasn’t sure exactly how long it had been since she’d rode away from Thad like an idiot.
She lifted her head to stare at her surroundings. Darkness and blowing water surrounded her from all sides. The storm had boiled up from the valley about thirty minutes earlier, darkening the sky and lending an eeriness to the mountainside. She’d stopped just long enough to search through the saddle bags to find the rain coat. After slipping it on, pulling the hood fully over her head and fastening out the damp and cold up to her neck, she’d arranged the long coat over her legs and horse’s rump hoping that most of the water would run off and keep both her and the horse relatively dry.
It was pretty much a futile effort. The wind had picked up speed by then, blowing horizontal gusts of rain into her face and lifting the slicker away from her legs. But she’d kept the horse moving and before long, she peered through the sides of the hood and saw the edge of the forest in front of her.
Now, still on the horse’s back, but under the protection of several large boughs of pine, she was certainly drier, but feared the lightning would start again, and she’d have to move from beneath the trees to find some other means of shelter.
She wasn’t certain how long she’d sat there. The horse seemed in no particular hurry to leave, and if the truth be known, she didn’t want to leave the protection of the trees either. So she sat as the slicing wind forced random rain drops through the pine needles, whipping them against her back and face and hands, and she cried.
She knew she could cry out in sobs and screams and no one would hear her. She knew, that if she wanted to, she could wail to her heart’s content but she also knew that none of that would do her any good. She’d gotten herself into this predicament, she was going to get herself out. And she really didn’t want to cry, but the emotional upheaval her last few hours had provided seemed to warrant it.
So she’d just let the tears silently fall down her face, mingling with the rain, as her whimpering sobs were swallowed into the rumble of distant thunder. And after a while, she felt much better. She still had no earthly idea where she was going, but she felt better.
When the storm finally passed, and rays of sunshine penetrated even the density of the forest, she decided it was time to trek on.
She figured that if anyone did decide to follow her, she at least had somewhat of a jump on them, but she feared it wasn’t enough. It was imperative that she see this thing to the end. By herself. If there was one thing she’d learned the past few days, it was that she could do a whole lot more than she thought she could. That she could set her mind to something, and accomplish the task—and she didn’t need Jillie to back her up. She could do it by herself.
And that was exactly what she was about to do. She was going to prove to Thad, Jillie, and anyone else out there who thought that Kim Martin was made of fluff, how wrong they really were.
Kim Martin was made up of a whole lot stronger stuff than that. And she’d prove it to them in spades.
But there was only one problem. First she had to cross the damned river.
She’d followed it for nearly an hour, not straying from its banks until she’d needed to seek shelter, so it wasn’t long before she approached its edge again. Now, there was nothing to do but plunge in, trust her horse and her instincts, and pray.
Which is exactly what she did. In that order.
Sunshine faltered little, but kept her head and lead Kim directly into the rushing water. As the water rose, and she felt Sunshine becoming a little uneasy, she started to slip over her side, but not before she remembered Thad’s warning about the horse’s legs getting tangled in the reins. Quickly, she tied them close to the mare’s body and gripped them with one hand while the other held onto the saddle horn.
Icy water splashed into her face and chilled her body as the horse moved confidently onward. Kim didn’t take the time to think much about what she was doing, she just kept floating and paddling next to the horse, hoping she was still heading across river, and not down.
The horse broke the rushing water, protecting her from its strength, and before she knew it, she felt rock river bottom and she and the horse walked up onto dry land.
At that moment, a feeling of exhilaration raced over her body and she hugged Sunshine’s neck. It wasn’t that she wanted to prove Thad wrong. No, that wasn’t it at all. It was that she wanted to prove herself right. If anything good came out of this entire trip, it would be that she could go home knowing that she had given this pack trip thing everything she had in her.
****
For miles Kim allowed the mare to pick her way casually over the terrain as they dodged a few more small showers. She hoped that at least the horse had some sense about what direction they were heading. Had she traveled this way before? Could she help Kim find her way to Elk Park by rote, much as the trail horses could?
Kim decided she couldn’t be sure, as much as she trusted old Sunshine, so she was going to have to watch for signs that might help her point the mare in the right direction home.
The mountains had a fresh-washed feel about them. The storm had raced over the mountains and down the other side, leaving only brief remnants of rain as a reminder. Stopping Sunshine, Kim shoved the hood off her head and glanced behind her, then all around, as she contemplated where they might be.
Behind her the mountains seemed to ascend, the sky still dark. Turning forward again, she realized she was definitely on a downward trek. Quickly, she glanced about her. To her far right, she saw a stream flowing downward. The Continental Divide. They had obviously crossed over it and now she was heading west! Hopefully, toward Elk Park.
A small thrill zinged up within her and she allowed a hint of a grin to form on her lips.
“All right,” she murmured to the horse as much as herself. “What else did Thad tell me the other day?”
A glimmer of hope made her feel stronger. “The Colorado Trail,” she stated matter-of-factly. “All I have to do is keep the sun in front of me and search for the trail. It should lead me straight into Elk Park.”
Kim smiled. With a lot more gumption than she’d had an hour or so earlier, she urged the horse forward, keeping her eyes peeled for any sign whatsoever of the trail that would lead her out of here. It might just be her only ticket home.
Chapter Sixteen
There were waterfalls all around her. Kim delighted in the sound of the trickling water and at the sight of the sparkling diamond droplets bouncing off solid rock. The creek seemed to be in front of her and all around her at the same time. Smiling, she slid off her horse and with the reins held loose in her hands, walked the mare closer to the water’s edge so she could drink.
The horse drank and Kim dug her canteen out of the saddlebag. After taking a healthy drink herself, she slipped the canteen back into position and removed and folded the now dry rain slicker, placing it as well back in the saddlebag. After she did that, she breathed deep of the crisp, clean air and gazed at the spectacular beauty of the mountains.
Surprisingly, after the storm had left, she’d found herself immersed in the scenery, savoring the clean, pristine beauty of the mountains. For the first time, she really was in no hurry to get back to Kentucky. The Colorado mountains fascinated her, but the thought of returning to her home threw a dismal curtain over the landscape.
Funny how Thad had insinuated himself into her life so quickly. Actually, he’d fought it and so had she, but it had seemed as though they’d shared a lifetime together. Of course, there was always the underlying current about her leaving at the trip’s end. But that was all water under the bridge now.
Now, all she had to think about was getting out of here and back to her students in a couple of weeks, and her Junior League meetings, and her bi-weekly manicures. Of course, there was shopping at the mall. And an occasional dinner out with friends. Not to mention her mother’s Sunday-after-church dinners.
Kim closed her eyes. How had her life become so mundane? So superficial? So...fake?
Shaking herself out of those thoughts, she turned to peruse the western sky. The sun was dropping rapidly in front of her. Rays of orange and pink shot up into the dusk. The trees glistened like deep green emeralds. The streams and waterfalls rushed by at an exhilarating pace. The evening was crisp and alive and calling to her. Speaking to her in such a manner that she almost felt she could talk back, and that mother nature would understand.
“This is not superficial, or mundane, or fake,” she whispered, searching her surroundings. “This is real.” A small rabbit scurried from beneath some low brush startling Kim, and she jumped, then laughed. “I am real.”
Huffing out a cleansing sigh, she stood contemplating those thoughts, not quite sure to what end they would conclude. She only knew that when she left here, she would miss this place.