Authors: Maya Banks
He curved his hand behind her neck, thrusting his fingers into her thick hair. He took control of the kiss and swallowed her moan of pleasure. He wanted all of her. She belonged to him.
That thought sent alarm bells clanging in all directions. She wasn’t his. What he was doing was wrong. But she felt so incredibly right. And he wanted her. Wanted her so damn bad he couldn’t breathe around her. Would it be so bad to exist in the moment and pretend she could be his, even if for only a little while?
And then she shifted and wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him closer to her. She whispered into his mouth, and it took a moment to understand what she’d said.
“Love me, J.T. Please love me.”
Her words tugged at him. Such a simple plea and yet so heartfelt. Could he make love to her and then let her go?
He tore himself from her mouth and slid his lips down the side of her jaw, to the tender skin of her neck. He inhaled her sweet scent as he nibbled his way over her shoulder toward her breasts.
She squirmed and twisted underneath him, and he smiled as he sucked one taut nipple into his mouth. He suckled lightly for a while, teasing and nipping at one breast before he lazily turned his attention to the other.
Her muscles shook and spasmed, and her breaths came heavy. After sucking tenderly for several seconds, he sank his teeth into the firm point. She cried out and arched off his desk.
“Shhhh, honey,” he murmured. “We have to be quiet.”
She whimpered and ran her hands frantically over his shoulders.
“Take me, J.T. Make me yours,” she begged.
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He closed his eyes as his dick tightened painfully. She was so fucking responsive.
All he had to do was touch her. Making love to a woman who was so tuned into him was a power trip like he’d never experienced. He felt invincible.
His mouth slid down her body, her exquisite, oh-so-tempting body. Her belly ring quivered as his tongue traced a line around it. Pretty and delicate like her. Feminine. He liked it. Even the pink streak was growing on him in a big way. Somehow it just fit.
He kissed a line to her pussy, enjoying the feel of her against his mouth. She smelled as good as she tasted, and he knew he’d never get enough of her.
Reaching underneath her knees, he hooked his arms and pulled her ass to the edge of the desk. She lined up perfectly with his cock, and he was dying to get inside her.
He fumbled with the condom wrapper, suddenly clumsy and inept. His fingers shook as he rolled the latex over his penis. But still, he held back.
Bending to one knee, he parted the damp folds of her pussy and pressed his mouth to her center. She jerked and quivered as he licked and tasted her. She was ready for him.
Rising back up, he pulled her legs wider apart then positioned himself at her entrance. His thumb found her clitoris, so taut and rigid. As he began to gently manipulate the sensitive bundle, he thrust inside her.
She gasped and went rigid around him. Her body reacted, and her muscles seemed to protest and spasm. Her hands flew up to grip his upper arms, and her eyes were wide.
He frowned and cursed under his breath. He’d gone too fast.
“Did I hurt you, honey?” he asked in concern. “I’m so damn sorry.”
She shook her head vehemently. “No, don’t stop. God, it feels so good, J.T. Love me please,” she begged.
There wasn’t a man alive who could refuse a plea like that. He slowly withdrew then plunged forward again.
She writhed underneath him, and she wrapped her legs around him, pulling him tighter against her.
He sank into her welcoming heat, and with each thrust, he felt like he was losing more of himself. It wasn’t just physical. He wished to hell it was. He wanted it to be lust, www.samhainpublishing.com 33
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because then when she was ready to go he could let her without regret or a sense of loss.
But as he moved deeper into her body, he felt the pull in his chest. Right where his heart lay.
Then he looked into her eyes. There was want and need there. They shone with something, something he couldn’t quite describe, yet it instilled such an ache within him.
Did she feel it too?
Her movements became more frantic, and her eyes widened. He knew she was close, and he was determined that she go first. He reached down, finding her clitoris. With a gentle touch, he strummed at it as he slid forward again.
Her mouth opened, and he knew if he didn’t cover it, she was going to let out one hell of a scream. He almost didn’t make it in time. As he clamped his hand over her mouth, his other hand still plucking at her clit, she let out a hoarse yell. Her pussy convulsed around him, sucking him wetly as she orgasmed.
He closed his eyes and ground his teeth together. Oh holy hell, this was big. Shit.
Every ounce of blood in his body raced to his cock, swelling outward. Pressure. God, the pressure.
The condom felt like a vise around his cock. He wanted to rip it off to alleviate the tightness. Harder he thrust. Frantically he pounded against her willing body until finally the unbearable pressure blew.
He exploded inside her, the head of his cock damn near blowing off with the force of his orgasm. Mindlessly, he rocked against her, never wanting the feeling to end.
Nikki sucked in her breath as J.T.’s hand slid from her mouth. She wanted to cry out, to scream, but she bit her lip to keep silent. Never had she felt anything to equal their coming together. It was everything she’d dreamed it would be.
She glanced up at J.T. who gently slid out of her body. Their eyes met, and what she saw in his made her heart fall. Regret. Guilt. Everything but the loving acceptance she’d hoped to find.
“J.T.,” she said softly as she struggled to sit up on the desk.
He took her hand and helped her up, but he wouldn’t look at her.
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“I’ll get your clothes,” he said in a low voice.
“J.T., look at me,” she pleaded.
He finally turned his head, and she saw the regret simmering in his dark eyes. But there was something else. Sadness? The pupils were dilated, overtaking the brown orbs and painting his eyes black.
“I’m not going to insult you by offering excuses, Nikki. It shouldn’t have happened, but I wanted it. I knew exactly what I was doing. But make no mistake. It can’t happen again.”
“Why?” she demanded. She pressed in close to him, uncaring of the fact she was still naked. Her pussy was still throbbing from her orgasm, and she wanted nothing more than for him to take her in his arms.
“I’m not having a fling with you, Nikki,” he gritted out.
She tensed and tried to keep her anger and frustration at bay. “Who says it has to be a fling? Why can’t we have sex? We’re two adults, J.T. I’m not a child.”
“Maybe I’m not into casual sex,” he said calmly. “Maybe I’m at an age where I’m ready to settle down and find something more than a quick fuck.”
She flinched and stepped back. “Quick fuck,” she said in a low voice. “Is that what I am, J.T.?” She couldn’t keep the pain from her voice. She wasn’t the woman he wanted to settle with. “I’m good for a blowjob and an easy lay, but not good enough for more.”
Bitterness crept in. Invaded and slid over her with agonizing speed. Some things never changed in Barley. She’d been a fool to come back.
“That’s not what I said, Nikki,” he said patiently.
“You didn’t have to say it,” she whispered.
She yanked on her wet clothes, not caring how they looked. Without a backward glance at him, she unlocked his door and strode out to where her car was parked.
Her eyes were dry. She wouldn’t cry. Not over him. Her only consolation was that she hadn’t humiliated herself even more by blurting out her feelings.
J.T. shut the door so he could dress. He was standing in his office in the middle of the day, naked and still wearing a used condom.
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He reached down to pull it off and froze when he saw the traces of red on the outside of the latex. Blood. What the fuck?
His gaze flew to the desk but all he saw was the faintest smudge of red. God, had he been that rough? Had he hurt her?
But then he registered how tight she’d been. How unsure she’d been as he positioned himself to take her. And her gasp of surprise when he thrust that first time.
Nausea rolled in his stomach. Jesus Christ. She’d been a virgin.
He closed his eyes, and then remembering he was still naked, in his office, in the middle of the day, he let out a curse and yanked his clothing back on.
A virgin. God. He’d taken her virginity, something he had no right to do, and not only that, he’d insulted her. He’d all but called her a whore. Not that he’d ever hurt her like that, but he might as well have said it out loud. All that shit about not wanting a quick fuck.
No, he didn’t want a quick fuck with her. He goddamn wanted more. But she didn’t.
This was all a game to her. He couldn’t ever see her settling with a small town, hokey cop in a place that had caused her nothing but grief. Why the fuck had she even come back?
Lucas was going to kill him.
J.T. groaned and rubbed a tired hand over his forehead. He’d promised one of his best friends that he’d look out for his kid sister and protect her from men who thought she was an easy mark. He swore long and hard again. Easy mark? She’d been a goddamn virgin, and he’d been the one who treated her like she was a carbon copy of her mother.
Way to go, asshole.
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If J.T. had wanted Nikki to disappear, he’d certainly gotten his wish. She was no longer there every time he turned around. It was a week later before he realized he’d stopped hiding in hopes that he would see her, but no matter where he went, the café or Tucker’s, his house or his office, there was no sign of her.
A midweek conversation with Jasmine yielded nothing other than Jasmine calling him a dumbass and hanging up in a huff.
Where was she?
He couldn’t very well keep an eye on her if he never saw her.
“You’re a stupid son of a bitch,” he muttered. He’d hurt her. He still flinched when he remembered the look in her eyes. He’d been such a bastard.
Of course she wasn’t lining up to seduce him. A woman like her didn’t need to wait around on a man like him.
But she
had
waited, and he couldn’t figure out why. Why him? She had to have had men dying to take her out in college.
Even as he thought it, an image of her mother came readily to mind. And the expression on a much younger Nikki’s face the night he’d had to tell her that her mom wasn’t coming home.
That night had been a catalyst for so many things. He’d taken Nikki to his home so she’d have a place to stay until Lucas got into town. He hadn’t wanted her to be alone in the house she’d grown up in. Not when her mother’s boyfriends paid call at all times of the night. When they discovered Tricia gone, who was to say they wouldn’t turn their attention on Tricia’s teenage daughter?
Nikki hadn’t reacted with surprise to the news that her mother had skipped town with a new boyfriend and left Nikki to her own devices. It was that stoic acceptance that made J.T. grieve for the little girl trapped behind Nikki’s abrasive façade.
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It made perfect sense why she was still a virgin. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out she wouldn’t want to be tarred with the same brush as her mother.
What didn’t make sense was why she’d chosen him to be her first.
He swore and pounded his desk with his fist. Then he glared at the window unit that had quit earlier in the afternoon. Damn repairman was supposed to have been here hours ago. He was tired of sitting here sweating his ass off with the ridiculous hope that Nikki might burst through the door with her million-dollar smile and those big blue eyes shining with mischief.
Instead, all he could remember was the hurt shadowing those gorgeous eyes. Hurt that he’d been responsible for.
Toby stuck his head in the door. “J.T., you might want to head over to Tucker’s.”
The urgency in Toby’s voice spurred J.T. to action. He quickly stood and strode toward the door, his hand automatically checking his weapon at his side.
“What’s up?” he demanded.
Toby gave him an uneasy look and J.T. knew. He sighed. “What’s she done now?”
Toby grimaced. “There’s a disturbance. Uh, Tucker said Nikki is pretty drunk.”
J.T. bit out a curse even as he started for his car. Toby was right behind him.
At first, J.T. wondered if this was just another ploy on Nikki’s part, her calling his bluff on locking her up overnight. But when he walked into Tucker’s a few minutes later, he quickly hung up that notion.
In a word, Nikki was plastered. And he’d never seen her drunk. Hell, he’d never even seen her take a sip of alcohol.
She was on top of the bar, ignoring Tucker’s pleas to come down. She wore a tight miniskirt that afforded anyone in a three-foot radius a prime view of her underwear. He only hoped to hell she was
wearing
underwear.
Her midriff was bare as her tank top rode higher, brushing the undersides of her breasts. She was most definitely not wearing a bra.
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She teetered precariously on three-inch heels, and no less than four sets of hands reached up to steady her. A peal of laughter escaped her as she dodged and continued gyrating atop the bar in time with the blaring country music.
She looked like she was having the time of her life. Only J.T. could see the pain flashing in her eyes.
Then one of the guys reached up and yanked at her hand. She tumbled down with a surprised yelp, right into the asshole’s arms. He grinned and plastered his mouth to hers.
She began to struggle and kick wildly, but the guy wasn’t inclined to let her go. If anything he tightened his grip. Her whimper of fright spilled out. It was all J.T. could hear. No music. No loud conversations. Just her sound of fear.