Reckless Karma (Sinners & Saints #2) (20 page)

           
Ollie
now sits up and looks at me. Those blue eyes will break girls’ hearts while
Suzie’s beautiful smile will be tarnished with foul play from men. That is how
I see the world now because I have lived it. I am only twenty-five, but being
destroyed by the world has caused me to age fast and has filled my heart with
cynical beliefs I did not have when I was seventeen. Before I fell in love with
the bad and let the worse steal my good. I do hope to protect my kids from the
evil that lurks out in the open, but who am I kidding? You can’t protect your
kids any more than you can protect yourself from the emotions and free will
that sets us bound by a fate of the unknown.

           
“Are
you gonna make us go back home now?” Ollie asks.

           
“Is
Monaco still our home? Nanny said it isn’t anymore,” Suzie says.

           
“Monaco
will always have a place in our hearts, but after Mommy is done here we will be
going to Chicago. You guys like the sound of that?”

           
They
both nod, but Suzie also makes a face. “But it also gets very cold there.”

           
“It
does.” I wrap my arms around their heads and smother them into my chest. “So I
guess I’ll just have to hug you until you’re warm forever!”

           
They
both laugh and I kiss them on their foreheads.

           
“And
no,” I tell them. “No, I’m not gonna send you anywhere. You guys are gonna stay
with me.”

JULIET

August
asked where Hugo was and I couldn’t tell him because Hugo wasn’t answering any
of my phone calls or texts. After an hour I left it alone. He needed to be by
himself and I hoped he was by himself and not wreaking havoc on someone’s life.
Hugo is a ticking time bomb right now and at any minute he can explode, and me
being an idiot and selfish bitch ignored that. I ignored everything he begged
me to do since we met.

           
Hugo
walks in at almost midnight. I sit up in his bed as he stumbles a little.
Clearly he’s intoxicated.

           
“I’m
sorry,” I say.

           
He
holds his hand up. “I don’t want to talk about it. Don’t… don’t say anything.
Just take off your clothes.”

           
I
roll my eyes and laugh a little, but my heart and body respond entirely
different.

           
“Cut
it out.”

           
“This
is what I want. I want you to take off your clothes.” His voice is commanding
and vigorous.

           
I
want to protest and continue laughing but the need in his face right now is
battling my right mind. I stand up from the bed and do what he says. I peel off
layer and layer until I am completely bare in front of him. He moves toward me
and instead of kissing me or pushing me back onto the bed, he hugs me. He wraps
his arms around me and rests his head on my shoulder. I close my eyes. My
fingers curl in his hair and my other hand rubs his back. I kiss his neck and
let him sink into me. I hope he just lets it all go – everything within
his soul, but instead he lifts his head and the hunger releases itself without
him even kissing me yet. He grabs my face and presses his lips against mine.
Practically destroys me in a very good way with his tongue. My pulse is racing
once he reaches his hand between my thighs. I can’t help the way I feel when he
touches me and he can’t help the way he deals with his problems. It’s sex and
hurting people. That’s the way he does it and I’d rather him have me this way
and not have anyone else or worse hurt someone. Then again, it’s too early to
tell. He might hurt me.

           
I
help him discard his clothing and we fall into bed together. His hands take
hold of my wrists as he kisses my collarbone and breasts. He’s not gentle in
the way he devours my body with his mouth and the way it feels is uncanny to
the way I moan as he makes me come more than once, not sparing a minute between
and before each one. He takes me from behind. I am speechless, not only in
sound but in mind and heart. I moan. I scream. I say his name and take
everything he gives me. The rough part of him, the darkness about him is shaped
in the way he fucks me and it is a new drug I have come to love. After he is
finished with me, I realize I am scared of this drug. I am scared of this
darkness. I could get lost in this darkness and if I do I won’t be able to
bring him out. I will only revel in it with him.

13

HUGO

I
look in the mirror and everything behind me is black. I am alone. All I have is
the gun in my hand. I put it in my mouth and before I pull the trigger, Gabriel
appears. My mother appears. Strings attached to them like they’re marionettes.
Their eyes frozen on me. Eyes that look to be painted on their faces. I realize
I don’t want to be like them, but it’s too late because now their strings
stretch out to me and sew themselves into my skin and before I know it, they
help me pull the trigger.

           
I’ve
never had a dream. I haven’t had a nightmare since I was a kid. The one I just
woke up from has me sweating and my heart pounding. I look next to me and see
Juliet sound asleep. Worn out from what I did to her. I don’t go back to sleep
for the next four hours. I just watch her breathe and snore a little. I even
smile. I just want to focus on something good. Something so beautiful.
Something I am bringing down with me. She finally opens her eyes and is
surprised to find me watching her. Probably considering how angry I was and how
rough I was with her last night.

           
“I’m
sorry,” I whisper.

           
“Why?
You made me discover how flexible I really am?” She makes a joke, but it’s not
funny. Cute but still no reaction from me, so she stops with the light banter
and places her hand on my cheek.

           
“It’s
okay. You didn’t do anything wrong. You were just angry.”

           
“I
acted like you were just… another one of the women I have been with. I didn’t
treat you like you were you. Like you were important to me. What you needed
didn’t matter to me.”

           
She
sighs and scoots in closer to me. “I think we make things more than they are. I
think… I’m the selfish one in this. Last night was good and bad. Bad because of
how hurt and angry you are. The fact that you, like most men, are not prone to
talk it out or share your feelings. And because you are you and… there is this
darkness about you. A darkness you didn’t give a second worry about until now.
Until love and family came into it and now I think you’re just this branch.
Branch barely hanging from the tree and eventually you will snap, Hugo. I know
you don’t want to, but you will. I just want to be there when you do. I still
want to be me when you do.”

           
The
woman is annoyingly intelligent and wise and I could tell her the truth. Tell
her that she is right. Open my heart now. Let the snap just happen, but I am
bound to fight it.

           
“I
just want to move on. It’s time to start a new path, I suppose.”

           
“What
do you mean?”

           
We
both sit up and I grab my cell off the nightstand. I send out a text as she
waits for my answer. “I texted Karlie. I’m still going after Scarlett, but
there are more things at play here.”

           
“You’re
not gonna use the kids, are you?”

           
“Not
like you think. It’s time for everyone to stop hiding behind the lies. It’s
time for the truth to come out. I won’t have to force anyone to do anything.
Those kids will do it for me.”

KARLIE

I
didn’t expect a text from Hugo asking to come by and talk. Maybe he won’t do
any talking. Maybe he’ll yell and throw in some insults. I hope he does. I’m
better with arguing than accepting understanding and kindness, but this is Hugo
Mandrake so I should be good.

           
“Hi,”
I say once he comes in my office. I’m sure he walked past the kids who are
enjoying a movie in the living room.

           
“Hi.”
He takes a seat in the chair in front of my glass desk. I close up my laptop,
lean my elbows on the desk, my hands clasped together and under my chin.

           
“Did
you see the kids?”

           
“Yes.”

           
“Did
you say hi?”

           
“Yes.
I was civil. Then I heard them whisper about the man who yelled at Mommy.”

           
“Did
you come here to yell at me some more?”

           
“No.
I have a plan.”

           
I
already know what it is. I can just tell and I become furious.

           
“Hell
no,” I say.

           
“It
needs to be done.”

           
“If
you think I’m gonna let them even be in the same room as my kids, you are
really as fucked up as I thought.”

           
“You
are well on your way to being as fucked up as I am. You need to stop lying to
them and to yourself. Besides, we already know what the test will prove. You
know it. I know it. You want to see a rabid dog cry, then do this. Trust me.”

           
“No.”
I shake my head, not to add on to the conviction of my answer but to beg the
tears from falling.

           
He
sits up in his seat as I sit back, biting my thumb.

           
“You
know why I never got them tested?” He doesn’t answer, but I can tell he has a
pretty good idea as to what I’m about to tell him. “Because no matter what the test
proves… it won’t make the pain any better. If they’re Chad’s or Noel’s, then my
children are the product of rape. And one day I’ll have to tell them that. If
they’re Gabriel’s… then they are a product of love… and one day I’ll have to
tell them that. Both were a tragedy. Both were the reason for where we are
today.” I can’t help the tears from falling and the stuttering from my lips.
“I…” I point to myself. “I have to face it. I do and that is where the selfish
part of me truly takes place. I don’t want to face it. Any of it.”

           
“Then
you should’ve stayed away,” he says as polite as possible.

           
I
nod agreeing and wiping my face.

           
“I’m
glad you didn’t.” I blink more than twice at his words. He looks down avoiding
me and cracks his neck. “Just trust me on this. I won’t let anything happen to
them. I’ve never been sure about anything, but I am sure about that.”

           
I
believe him. It’s the same thing I told his father when he asked me to abort
them. I considered it. I considered it very hard and long. I wanted them gone
just as much as I wanted them.

           
“When
your dad found out I was pregnant, he asked me to have an abortion. It was
actually the only time he was sort of nice. He asked it in a very polite way
and I wanted to do it. I was so scared, but… I had this dream that Gabriel was
holding a baby before I even knew I was having twins.” I laugh. “He was holding
a baby and he was happy. This big smile. Tell you the truth, he didn’t even
really seem real. He didn’t seem like Gabriel, just a whole ‘nother person. After
that dream, I realized I wanted to be that person holding that baby. I wanted
to be happy. I hoped they would fill the void of this hole in my heart, but you
can’t never really replace or fill in voids, ya know? Remember that Hugo. The
pain you go through will always be there – a part of your heart. It will
always be there, but when you experience love again in any form… it just adds
on. So all I could ever do was hope that love for my kids would outweigh the
damage and hate I had. Have,” I admit.

           
“So
far what do you think?”

           
“I
think I’ve been letting the latter win. What about you?”

           
“The
same.”

           
It’s
amazing how you barely know someone but are connected.
 
Juliet was right. We inherited each
other and we are, as crazy as it is… family.
 
At least I think I would like that. With
him and August.

           
“So,”
I get out of my thoughts and get back to the main reason why I’m here and I’m
beginning to see it Hugo’s way. “What do you wanna do?”

SCARLETT

“Does
anyone know what this shit is about?” Chad asks. We’re sitting in a boardroom
in the Ritz Carlton. Chad, Noel, and I each received a text to meet Karlie and
Hugo here. Noel and Chad have come out of fear thinking she has something on
us. I’ve come out of curiosity.

           
“Who
knows?” Noel is practically biting his nails off and Chad is high. As to be
expected – predictable. I look at the two men I’ve somewhat created and I
shake my head. Always predictable, always needy, always little boys. Little
boys with lonely souls bound to be damned forever.

           
“I
wonder where I went wrong with you two,” I voice suddenly and they just look at
me confused.

           
“You
went with them in the first place.” I turn my head and smile at Hugo who is
leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets.

           
“I
suppose I was just betting on quantity when it came to horses… never quality,”
I say.

           
“I
suppose so.”

           
“You
turned out alright though.” I wink and he still smirks at me unbothered.

           
“Good,
you’re all here.” We look to the other side of the dark boardroom and see
Karlie. Hugo opens the curtains releasing the sun as Karlie sits at the head of
the table. Hugo standing behind her like a good boy.

           
“So
I see you just keep downgrading when it comes to women, Hugo,” I say and Karlie
snickers.

           
“No,
I’m still with the best. This one is more like family. Literally, if you think
about it.”

           
There
is something cryptic about the way he says it.

           
“So
what do you want?” Chad asks, licking his lips, his eyes gazing at Karlie who
doesn’t show her disgust right away.

           
“Other
than your dick on a platter to feed my dog… just your DNA,” she says.

           
“What?”
Noel asks.

           
“You
want the DNA…” Chad leans forward, his head tilting to the side. “It’s a little
too late for investigation, isn’t it?”

           
“Investigation
into what, Chad?” Hugo tries to bait him some more, daring him to confess. They
could be recording us now, hoping to one day show everyone the truth no matter
if it’s too late to bring up charges or not. Even Chad isn’t that high or
stupid to say anything.

           
He
just sits back in his chair with the occasional sniff and a smug grin on his
face, watching as Karlie’s grip tightens on the hotel pen she is holding.

           
Hugo
places his hand on her shoulder and pulls out his cell. I’m guessing he’s
sending a text. Not a second later after that text, the doors of the conference
room open and two kids walk in. Well, the girl skips in while the boy strides
with a smile on his face. I can’t take my eyes off them as they cling close to
Karlie. The boy sits on her lap and the girl rests her head on her shoulder.
They look around at us in the room and for a moment the girl’s eyes pause on
mine. I have a quick disdain for her and her pureness and beauty and the boy,
well he is a killer on the looks… just like his father.

           
“Um…
are the- these your kids?” Noel stammers as the color drains from Chad’s face.

           
“Yes…
Oliver and Suzanna… they’re six. Will be seven in December.”

           
I
can see both their Adam’s apples stuck after Karlie’s confirmation of age.
Little bastards’ birthday in December, meaning she got pregnant in March around
that night.

           
“Mommy,
can we go back and play now?” the girl asks.

           
Karlie
smiles lovingly at her. “Yeah, baby.”

           
The
kids run back out and Karlie clears her throat. “Again… DNA.”

           
“You
can’t expect those kids to really be either of theirs, do you?” I ask.

           
“Noel,
most likely no. Chad, maybe. Hugo will give the DNA for Gabriel’s side,” she
says.

           
“They
sort of… they sort of look like me,” Chad says and I’ll be damned if I don’t
see this glimmer of hope to be redeemed in his hazy blue eyes. He realizes this
and slams his hand on the table. “This is bullshit. You expect us to even agree
to this?! Kids born out of what we did?! Get the fuck out of here.” He flips
the chair over.