Rediscovering Peace (Military Love Book 1) (15 page)

“It doesn’t matter, Mom. Anyways, can you ask Dad to call around and find out when the funeral will be? I am flying to Colorado to attend. And before you try to stop me, nothing you say will change my mind. I owe it to him. It’s the least I can do.”

“Okay, I will ask your dad. I’ll call you when he finds out.”

Two days later Caige and I were on our way to Colorado. We found out that he would be buried in a small cemetery in his hometown. I was nervous about seeing his parents again and their reaction, but I needed to do this. We rented a car at the Denver airport and drove the hour drive to the funeral home. I was surprised to see all the cars and bikes on the streets. It made me happy to know that so many people had come to honor Oliver’s sacrifice.

Caige helped me out of the car and wrapped his arm around me when we walked into the funeral home. Molly turned around just as we walked in. Her eyes grew wide, and I could see her hate for me. This was going to be fun.

“What the hell are you doing here? You killed my son. You are not welcome here,” she spat out.

“Molly calm down,” Frank said as he walked up behind her. “We are surprised to see you here. If you don’t mind I’d like to ask you to sit in the back. This is really hard on Molly. It’s better for her if she can’t see you.”

I respected his wishes and we sat in the very back of the funeral home. People were looking at me, whispering. The ceremony was beautiful. A lot of his army buddies came to hold a speech. My mouth fell open when I saw Cody get up to walk to the microphone.

“Oliver was the best friend I could’ve ever asked for. He was funny and always had my back when I needed him. He only had one weakness. Skye.”

I swallowed hard trying to prepare for what was next.

“He never loved anyone more than he loved her. I used to make fun of him all the time. Truth be told though, I was jealous. I wanted what they had. I knew Skye couldn’t stand me because I kept telling her that she wasn’t good enough. When I found out that they broke up I was shocked. Most of you know what happened and not a day went by that he didn’t regret his choices. He knew he lost her because of a stupid mistake. The entire time he was deployed we stayed in touch. His last email scared me. It was like something bad was about to happen. I am going to read it to you. Skye, I am sorry for being a jerk all this time. You were good for Oliver.

I got up and ran towards the front and hugged Cody as hard as I could. Even though he had been a jerk most of the time I was so glad he shared this with us. He lost his best friend. The least I could do was be there for him. I felt someone come up behind me and turned around to see Molly.

“Skye, I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have blamed you. It’s just all he ever talked about was you. I was worried that it would distract him from being careful. He is right though, we need to be there for each other.”

I didn’t let her finish and hugged her too. I still believed it was my fault but I wasn’t going to tell her that. I had to be there for them. I needed to be strong.

I knew life would go on. Eventually...

B
raden

It had been a week since Skye asked me to leave. I hadn’t heard from her and if it wasn’t for Caige keeping me updated I wouldn’t know what the hell is going on. It was driving me crazy that she was pulling away from me. I wanted to be there to help her through this but I knew she needed time. Skye always dealt with stuff on her own. But damn if it wasn’t hard just to sit here and wait for a call or text from her. I had picked up my phone so many times to call her but stopped myself. If she didn’t answer it would just hurt me. I couldn’t handle a rejection. Seth came walking in the living room where I was sitting with a bottle of whiskey. The bottle had been my best friend for a week now.

“Have you heard from her yet?”

“Not even a text. I don’t know what to fucking do anymore. I love her but she keeps walking away from me. I don’t know how much more I can handle.”

“Honestly, man. You look like shit. You also won’t find your answers in that bottle of whiskey either. You need to fight for her or you will end up in a miserable marriage like me.”

Seth and Krystal Jacobs had been married for five years but everybody could see that they weren’t happy. I often wondered why he was still with her. She was such a bitch. I was actually surprised that she agreed to let me stay here. She couldn’t stand me and vice versa. I couldn’t wait for the day Seth gave her the boot.

“Yeah I wouldn’t be caught dead in your relationship. Seriously, why are you even still with her?”

“It’s a long story and one I’d rather not dwell on it right now. Krystal needs me. I can’t just leave her. So what are you going to do about Skye?”

“If only I knew. Part of me wants to drive over there and force her to talk to me. The other part of me wants to wait for her to come to me. All I have ever done is chase after her. Don’t get me wrong, I would do anything for her, but I am tired of having to watch her walk away. I am starting to think that maybe I will be better off without her.”

“We both know you don’t mean that. All you ever talk about is how you are going to marry her and spend the rest of your life together. You only get that kind of love once in a lifetime. Don’t throw that away!”

“I guess you’re right. I am just frustrated. I would never leave her.”

“Then fight for her. I bet she is waiting for you to call you just as much as you are waiting for her to call you. Stop being stubborn,” Seth said and handed me my phone. He was right. I needed to fight for Skye. I would never forgive myself if I lost her again. I picked up my phone and dialed her number. It only rang once when she picked up the phone.

“Braden...” I could hear the longing in her voice. Maybe there was still hope for us.

“Skye. I... Uh... I just wanted to see how you are doing?”

“I am okay. I am still trying to grasp everything. Look, Braden, I am sorry for being such a bitch that night.”

“Don’t, sweetheart, it’s okay. Can I come see you? I miss you.”

“Umm... sure.”

“I’m on my way. See you in a bit, love.”

I hung up only to realize I couldn’t drive anymore. Shit. Seth looked at me and as if he was reading my mind he offered to give me a ride.

“Thanks. I owe you.”

I urged Seth to drive faster. I needed to get to her as quickly as possible before she changed her mind. We finally arrived at her house... – our house. I jumped out of the car and ran to the door without even looking back. I used my key to let myself in. I was nervous as hell about how Skye would react to seeing me. I just hoped she wouldn’t walk away from me again. I wasn’t sure I could handle another rejection.

I walked into the living room and found Skye curled up on the couch. She looked up when she heard me approaching and smiled. That was a good sign, right?

“Hey.”

“Hey yourself. That was fast.”

“I was eager to see you. It’s been a long week.” I didn’t know where to start. I needed assurance from her that we would be okay, that she was done pushing me away, but I couldn’t form the words to ask her.

“Braden, please sit down. We need to talk.”

I didn’t like the sound of that. We need to talk always led to break ups.

“I agree we do need to talk. This past week has been hell. I miss you, Skye.”

“I missed you too. I am also sorry for acting the way I did. Oliver’s death hit me hard, but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I don’t want to be away from you, but right now I need some time to figure out how to move on from this. Even though I wasn’t with Oliver anymore he was still a big part of my life. I can’t just act like that never happened. I am not breaking up with you. I am just asking you to give me some time to sort through some things. I love you, Braden. I always have and I always will. Please don’t ever forget that.”

“Skye...” I was at a loss for words. This is not how I expected this to go. I thought we would go back to where we were and I would help her deal with this. I could feel a tear run down my face. Dammit. This woman was going to make me a crying mess.

“Skye, please don’t push me away. I want to help you heal from this. I can’t watch you suffer. I want you to lean on me and I promise we will work through this together. You don’t have to do this alone.”

“You mean we will work through this together like we work through your problems together? You can’t sit here and ask me to open up to you, when you are keeping something from me yourself. This goes both ways, Braden. Don’t you think it hurts me when I see your nightmares haunt you?”

“Is that what this is about? My nightmares? Fuck. Skye. Don’t do this.”

“What? You’re telling me that you want to be there for me but you won’t let me help you.”

“Fine. If that’s what you want. I watched two of my soldiers die. We were on a mission when our Humvee hit an IED and blew up. One of my guys told me he had a bad feeling about this mission and that we should turn around. I ignored him. They died because I was too stubborn to listen to him. I walked away with nothing but a few scratches. I should’ve been the one that died that day. Mitchell Madison was only nineteen and Leroy Warner was twenty-two. The pictures haunt me every day so much that I have to see a counselor twice a week for my PTSD. It’s my fault. And I will never forgive myself.”

I saw the horror on her face, I could tell she was judging me and I couldn’t say that I blamed her. Two men died because I thought Mitchell was being silly. His words invaded my sleep almost every night.

“SSG Parker, I think we should turn around. I don’t have a good feeling about this.”

“Put your big girl panties on, PFC Madison. Nothing’s going to happen. We have been on this road a million times.”

“I don’t know. I think you’re wrong, SSG.”

“Shut up, PFC. We will be fine.”

That was the last thing I remembered before I felt the impact of the explosion. I was thrown up in the air and crashed on to the ground. Hard. Shit. This hurts. I looked around. The Humvee was in flames and I could see parts of it lying around on the road. What the fuck just happened? I tried to get up but the pain made it impossible for me to stand. I crawled around in search of my soldiers. That’s when I noticed an arm sticking out under the Humvee. I slowly made my way over there. It was PFC Madison. His body was caught under the vehicle. I pulled on his arm trying to get him out but I failed. His eyes were on me.

“I’m so sorry, Mitchell. I should’ve listened to you. I will get you out of here. Everything will be alright. I promise.”

“Can’t. Feel. My. Legs,” he managed to say. He was having a hard time breathing. That’s when I saw that a part of the vehicle was stuck in his torso. I couldn’t make out what it was. Shit. I needed to get him out.

“Please make sure my family knows how much I loved them,” he whispered as he closed his eyes.

“No. No. NO. Don’t say that. You will make it out of here. You can tell them yourself,” I begged him but he didn’t respond. I checked his pulse and knew then that I just watched my soldier take his last breath. It was my fault. A sob escaped me. But I had to get my shit together. SPC Warner was still here somewhere. I had to make sure he was fine. I finally managed to stand up ignoring the pain that surged through my body. Fuck it. My soldier needs me. I limped around and finally found his body. He was dead. His face was almost unrecognizable. I fell to the ground and cried for what felt like an eternity. I barely remember my leadership arriving at the scene and pulling me up. As soon as they got me into the helicopter I passed out.