Reel to Real (8 page)

She tried a deep breathing exercise her ex-sister-in-law had taught her to relax and empty the growing anger from her head. It didn’t help.

Someone knocked on the door. She thought it might be that crazy Esther again. She hoped to God it
was
so she could kill her for ruining her life. Sadly, it was only Shane, saying he needed to grab a few more items for John.

John called while Shane was there. Skipping any niceties, John asked Crystal if she had any money.

“What?” Crystal said angrily. “You get yourself in trouble with another woman, wreck my vacation and now you want to take my last dollar? You’re crazier than I thought. I don’t want anything to do with you.”

“I know you’re hot at me,” John said calmly. “I don’t blame you. But look, I’ve got to get out of town and wait for this shit to quiet down. I told you that woman was trouble. Do you believe me now? She really screwed us up.”

No response.

“Come on, babe, help me out. I just need some money for gas. It’ll get worked out and then maybe we can get back together. I sure the hell can’t do anything to make it right with you if they throw me back in the joint, now can I?”

After another long pause, Crystal said mournfully, “I guess not.”

“Okay, then. Can you kick me back something? I gotta leave right now, before they track me down.”

“You said you were leaving last night.”

“That’s when I figured out I didn’t have the money to get anywhere. I need enough to get to Pueblo.”

“Pueblo?” she said in shock. “You can’t go there. That’s where I live. I just told you I don’t want to see you right now.”

“Calm down, calm down. I know that’s where you live but that’s where Shane’s mom lives too, and I need somewhere safe to stay.”

“I don’t want anything to do with you when you get there. I need time to think.”

“Fine. We’re probably only gonna stay at his mom’s for a day or two anyway, and then I’ll find somewhere else to go. I won’t bother you.” John took a deep breath. “So, can you help me out?”

Crystal remained silent while she considered her options. Finally she said, “I guess. I’ve only got about $55 left and I’ve gotta have at least five bucks to get home when I land.”

“Fifty bucks! That’s great,” John said, relieved. “That should get me where I’m going and then some. Give the money to Shane since he’s already there and he’ll give it to me. I’ll get this all straightened out before you know it. Thanks, babe. I owe you.”

“Do not spit in the well - you may be thirsty by and by.”

R
USSIAN
P
ROVERB

Pueblo, Colorado

Crystal sat in her darkened living room with an ice pack on her head, trying to regroup. She knew she had to go to work the following day, but she was too exhausted to unpack or even get her uniform ready. She felt lousy. Her trip to Albuquerque had sucked the life out of her, and it would take a while to recover. She wasn’t used to being treated so poorly.

Bad thoughts leapfrogged in her head as she drifted off in her hand-me-down armchair.

She wasn’t sure how long she had been asleep when her Chihuahua mix's barking jolted her awake. There were headlights in the driveway.

Oh no
, she thought.

***

“I don’t have the strength for this,” Crystal said, but opened the door anyway. John and Shane walked in.

John knew Crystal would be mad, but he decided he would rather hide out at her duplex than Shane’s mom’s house. He still had his doubts about the man standing next to him.

“Look babe, I’m sorry about the shit that happened before,” John said. “The situation got away from me. Could I just stay here for tonight, ’til I find somewhere else?”

Crystal glared at him.

“I could sleep on the couch, I don’t care.”

“I don’t want you here. You cause me nothing but trouble. Take your weird friend and get out.”

“Come on babe, it’s just for one night.”

“Bullshit. You said you were going to his mom’s and now you’re not. When are you gonna stop lying to me?”

“I’m not lying. We’re still gonna go tomorrow, but it’s late and Shane says his mom goes to bed early.”

“I don’t care, John. I don’t want you guys here. Get out.”

***

John decided his conversation with Crystal was going nowhere, so he told her to forget it. He said they were going to Shane’s mom’s house in Colorado Springs after all, and left.

The drive to Colorado Springs took about thirty minutes.

“I think her house is right down this street,” Shane said as they approached a crumbling 1950s-style development.

“What color’s the house?” John asked.

“I haven’t been here in like five years, but it
was
blue, with a white picket fence.”

John squinted into the darkness. “Okay, blue house with a white fence. You got an address?”

“Nah, I don’t remember it. It’s 33-something. Maybe on Pineridge or Woodridge or some kinda ridge. There’s Greenridge right up there.” He turned his head quickly. “Hey, is that it? No-oo, that’s not it. I can’t see ’cause it’s so dark out, but I know it’s right around here somewhere.”

“Oka-ay. You told me you knew where you were going.”

“Hey, dude! Look at that girl over there. On the corner,” Shane said out of nowhere. “She looks just like my girlfriend Raina.”

John looked at Shane. “Girlfriend? Raina? I thought she was a fucking lesbian.”

“Yeah, she is, but we’re sleeping together now,” Shane said, smiling.

John crinkled his face. “Huh?”

“I conquered her. I made her go straight.”

“You’re lyin’.” John looked unsure.

“Yeah, it’s true. She said I was the only guy she ever wanted to be with.” Shane smiled big. “For real.”

“Whatever you say, man.” John grabbed Shane’s upper arm. “Look, dude. We gotta focus. We gotta find this damn house. It’s getting fucking late.”

“Don’t worry man, it’s here somewhere.”

They drove in circles for another hour, and at each turn Shane assured John that his mom’s house was right around the very next corner.

“Do you have
any
idea where we’re going, man?” John finally asked, glowering.

“I’m just having a hard time remembering exactly where it is. It’s just been a while.”

John turned his head sideways. “Didn’t you tell me when we was in the joint that your parents lived in New Mexico?”

“Yeah, they did. But my mom moved up here.”

“But you don’t know where?” John shook his head.

Shane thought for a moment. “You know what? We might actually be in the wrong part of town. Let’s go look over on the south side and check it out over there.”

“What? No. Fuck that shit, dude. I’m not doing any more of this bullshit. Drive me back to Pueblo. I’ll beg Crystal to let me in if I have to. We’re done here.” John thought for a second and then added, “And you’re not staying either. You’re going back. Tonight.”

Not saying a word, Shane made a U-turn, shifted into third, and headed towards the freeway.

February 19, 1996

Shane’s mom and dad were up for the day from T or C, and dropped by to see him in the early afternoon. They came to see him fairly often, usually leaving him extra cash and food just in case he needed it.

Feeling at loose ends after they left, Shane dropped by his neighbor Jason’s apartment, bringing over a package of coffee cake and a couple cans of soda his mother had left for him.

“Hey Jace, what’s happening dude?” Shane said, strolling in.

Jason looked up from his book and smiled. “Not much, man. Just catching up on my reading. What’s up with you?”

“Nothing, nothing. My parents were just here and my mom left me some munchies. You want some? You like apple strudel?”

“Yeah, I do. Cut me some.”

“Already done, dude.” Shane handed him a pre-cut piece on a paper towel.

“So what else is new?” Shane asked. “Got any good parties to go to?” Shane was referring to the fact that Jason occasionally worked as a DJ at various events around town.

“I got one in couple of weeks. I wish I had more. I could really use the cash. I’m taking a few trips in March and the extra bucks would come in handy.” Jason smiled and added, “But I’ll get by.”

Shane’s face got serious. He seated himself on Jason’s coffee table, facing him.

“Look, dude, if you need more cash,” Shane said, lowering his voice. “I might have a way.”

Jason tensed. “What do you mean? ’Might have a way?’”

“Well, it’s no big deal. No big deal at all. It’s just that I might know a place we could go to where we could get some money. If we went at just the right time, there’d only be a few people there, but there’d be a ton of cash. I'm talking major money. It would be quick and should go really smooth. No one would have a clue we were involved.”

Jason didn’t respond. His eyes were wide and his breathing shallow.

Shane, unaware, continued, “But if something did go wrong, don’t worry about that either. I’ve got that covered. A few people could maybe get hurt, but I would be the one to handle that. I would take care of any problems. You’d just be the helper.”

Shane finally stopped talking and looked over to see Jason’s reaction. He saw the color drain from his friend’s face. He looked almost ghost-like. Instantly, Shane realized he was barking up the wrong tree.

Jason sat without moving.

Shane burst into loud laughter. Then he stood up and playfully slapped Jason on the back, still laughing.

“Dude? Dude?” he said, gasping for air and squatting down to a level even with Jason’s face.  “You didn’t think I was serious, did you?” Shane looked him in the eye.

Jason took a deep breath and looked uncomfortable. Shane let out several more exaggerated guffaws and then put his hand on his friend’s shoulder and held it there, trying to normalize the situation.

“Sorry, brother. It was just a joke, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Shane said, standing back up.

Jason forced a half-smile.

“You know I would never do anything like that. I was totally, totally BS’ing you. Of course, I wouldn’t do that. That would get me thrown right back in the fucking pen. And I fucking definitely don’t want that.”

Shane saw Jason unclench his jaw.

“Hey, let’s forget all about this shit and just relax. I’m gonna go get you another piece of strudel,” Shane said. “You look like you’re still hungry.”

February 20, 1996

It was a chilly day in Pueblo, Colorado. Kids were bundled in their parkas and a gray mist hung in the air. The more prudent citizens were headed home, before the storm hit.

Despite the weather, John stood at a payphone outside a liquor store down the street from the steel mill, a bag of quarters and dimes in his pocket. He had business to attend to.

“Hi,” he said. “Know who this is?”

“John?” Esther said. “Where are you? How are you? I’ve been worried sick. I didn’t know if the cops caught you or what. I didn’t know where you were.” Her voice trembled as she rushed to get her words out.

“Sorry, sugar, I’ve been on the move. I’m in Chicago right now. I had to go somewhere safe.

What you been up to?”

“Nothing, nothing. Just working. And worrying.”

John let a breath out. “Did you get that kid’s dad to drop those charges yet?”

“No,” she said, and told him the dad was still being unreasonable. John reminded her how the whole thing was basically her fault and now, as a result of the trouble she had caused, he didn’t have any money.

“I miss you so much,” she said.

“I miss you too, babe, but I could really use a couple of bucks,” he said. “I’m completely broke.”

She thought about it for a moment. “Well, I don’t have much, except for my tips. I guess I could send you some of that if you need it.”

“That sounds really good,” he said.

Esther told him she had been working pretty steady at Denny’s and she could probably spare a hundred or so.

“That would work,” he said, and instructed her to have Shane wire the money right away. Tomorrow, if possible.

“Yeah, I’ll do that. Can I tell you again how much I’ve missed you?”

“Sure.”

“I missed you so much, John. I thought about you every day, all day. I’ve really missed telling you how much I love you.”

“Me too,” he mumbled.

She told him that the police had not returned to her house to look for him since he left, so maybe he was already on the cops’ back burner. In fact, it might be safe for him to return to Albuquerque very shortly. John said he probably would do just that as soon as his finances improved. Maybe, he said, if he could get a little more money, then he could afford a lawyer to get him straight with the law. She said she understood and promised to send him as much as she could.

“Thanks, babe,” he said. “The more money I get, the quicker we’re gonna be able to get back together.”

“I’ll do the best I can,” Esther said brightly.

John did not mention he was really in Colorado. As he would say later, he thought it best “to keep her blind” so that there wouldn’t be any more conflicts between her and Crystal.

When he returned to Crystal’s house after the phone call, he did not tell her about the call he just made to Esther, either.

Made total sense to him.

***

Esther wrote to her friend incarcerated at the Women’s Correctional Facility in Grants, New Mexico again.

Dear Cynthia

Sorry to dump this on you but things aren’t going too good for me right now. Lately, it’s been one thing after another. I’ll tell you about the other thing in a minute but first I want to ask your advice on something.

Before I went to prison, back in Hobbs, I had an admirer named Teddy Bear. I’ve known him for years. He’s always been super nice to me and took care of me when I needed it. We were lovers a couple of times but we were also good friends. He was my drug dealer too but a nice drug dealer and I like him.

So here’s my problem. I met a new guy named John and I am in love. Real love. John is very nice but he is very jealous too and I know I can’t have anything to do with other guys as long as I’m with him. Do you have any ideas on how to tell Teddy Bear about John? How to let him down so I don’t hurt him? I don’t want to piss off Teddy Bear either. He sometimes hurts people when he gets mad. If you can think of anything let me know.