Resonance (Marauders #4) (27 page)

Then Tommy noticed the pain in his left arm, which reminded him of something else, so he flicked the radio on again.

“How did we do? Anyone down?”

The too-long silence told him someone was. Then Ahab answered. “Jones is down, he won’t make it. Dawg took a shot in the leg, but he’ll be fine if he stops acting like a bitch about it, and a few smaller things. Think Dig took one in the arm.”

“I’m fine,” Dig said in his ear.

Jones was one of the Nomads, an older guy, but that was about all Tommy knew about him. He also knew that it could’ve been a lot fucking worse given who they’d gone up against. The only thing they’d had going for them was the surprise, and the fact that they were going after Eliza. A purpose made people focus in a different way.

“She needs proper medical attention,” Roach said to him in a low voice. “I know you have doctors and shit, but she needs… They’ll give her the right shit to get things out of her system.”

Tommy stared at him. “Out of her system? You think drugs will make her forget?”

“No,” Roach muttered. “They won’t, but we don’t know what shit these guys had, like HIV, and she needs the right drugs to nip all that crap in the bud. That’s a lot of blood, so she might need surgery, too. Shit we can’t provide at the clubhouse.”

Tommy looked at Bear, who’d just arrived, so he’d heard what Roach had said, and he nodded and went over to crouch down next to Brick.

“Take one van with the gunshot wounded to the clubhouse, and take Eliza to the hospital with the other. Call the clubhouse and have someone bring Mel there, too,” Bull said. “I’ll wait here with the fucks who are going up to the warehouse.”

When Nmembe walked into the room, Tommy gave him a nod. He’d made things a helluva lot easier.

“The girl?” Nmembe asked with his eyes on Brick and Eliza. “Will she make it?”

“I don’t know. I think so.”

“I’ll call for cleaning,” he said and picked up his phone. “We’ll sort this place out.”

Tommy didn’t doubt for a second that things would be taken care of, and once he relaxed, he could feel how fucking tired he was, so he sat down on the couch with a deep breath.

His job was done.

~oOo~

THEY HAD CALLED, AND three guys escorted Mel to the hospital, so she could wait for Brick and Eliza. I tried to see it as a positive thing, at least she was alive, but at the same time ‘alive’ didn’t necessarily mean much. It just meant her heart was still beating. We didn’t get more information, and I hoped her heart would continue beating long enough for her to come back in full.

About an hour later, a van full of gunshot-wounded guys arrived, but Tommy wasn’t among them. Since no one had told me he was dead, I took that as an altogether good sign.

“Do you have any experience with gunshot wounds?” Bear asked Mom and me, and we both shrugged and half nodded at the same time. “Think you can have a look at some of milder cases? We have Lisa and April on the worst ones.”

We both stood up and went over to the bar to get our hands cleaned. We were directed into the club’s meeting room, where Lisa pointed at disinfectant and told us to clean up before starting. Edie was there, too, already cleaning Dig’s wounds.

“Can you stitch?” Lisa asked us, and we looked at each other.

“Depends on how you define being able to stitch,” Mom answered. “I’ve stitched up a few wounds. She has, too.”

“I’m fine with that,” an old Marine sitting on the table said. “It’s not too bad, and she gave me some shots,” he added with a nod towards Lisa.

He pulled off his sweatshirt and t-shirt, and it wasn’t hard to see where he’d been hit. There were three hits over his chest where the vest had protected him, and then one the inside of his arm around the same height.

“Looks like the same kind of injury as you gave Zach,” my mom said with a big smile when she started to clean it. I’d already moved on to Sisco, since I didn’t really see the point of two of us working on one guy. Sisco just needed cleaning and dressing to be able to leave.

“You shot your brother?” Sisco asked with a smile.

“With a bow.”

“Why?”

“I honestly don’t remember anymore. It probably wasn’t as important as I thought at the time.”

“Things rarely are in retrospect,” Sisco said with a sigh. “Do you know why memories fade?”

I thought it was an honest question, that he actually wondered, so I simply shrugged. It was a strange question. “Time passes.”

“Not only that, but every time you remember something, you remember the last time you remembered it. That’s why memories change, but also why we remember a little less every time we recall something.”

“I didn’t know that,” I said. I kept an eye on him when I started cleaning the wound, but he didn’t flinch. He didn’t even seem aware of what I was doing. “Where did you hear that?”

“Mitch. He says shit like that all the time, but I liked it.”

“It’s a bit sad. Basically, the more you remember something, the sooner you’ll forget.”

“Depends on how well you remember it and how carefully you think about it. Gives you more to remember next time. But in all honesty, it’s a good thing that memories fade. Trust me.”

I still thought it was sad, and I felt a bit cheated. It meant that what I remembered wasn’t what really happened, but how I thought it had happened the last time I remembered it. Or something like that. Things like that always messed with my head.

We were just about done with all of the guys when Tommy came inside. He was holding his arm in a strange angle, which I assumed meant he’d been injured.

“Clean it up in my room,” he said when I tried to get him to sit down. “It’s just a scratch, and I want to get into the shower. I need to sleep. Where’s Felix?”

“He’s with Violet and Anna. They have all the kids with them.”

Edie had left with Dawg as soon as they’d fixed him up, and she’d come back only to tell me that all the kids were collected in one of the bigger rooms. They were having some kind of pajama party together.

Tommy nodded, and I took his hand. We walked to his room in silence. The clubhouse was calming down. Those who had rooms had gone to them, and the rest were sleeping wherever they could. Mattresses were scattered all over the place, and those still awake were talking in low voices.

I understood the feeling; I’d experienced it before. In a way we’d won, we’d gotten Eliza back, but the price had been high, and this was just one battle in a war. I didn’t need to ask Tommy if that was the case, because it was so obvious.

I followed Tommy into the shower, cleaned his wound, and helped him wash off the blood, but it was all done in silence. He was standing up while I bandaged his upper arm. I wasn’t sure if he needed stitches, but he told me to not bother. He just wanted to sleep.

He was in the bed before me, but when I came out of the bathroom, he was still on his back with his eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked when I lay down next to him. “Or should I just shut up?”

“No, I just… Eliza’s been around since she was born, and she’s always just… there. Always happy and all over the place, cheering everyone up, especially the oldies. She’s like the entire club’s little mascot. I’m kind of wondering who we really got back.”

“I think it’s safe to say she’ll be different.” I didn’t think it was necessary to ask what had happened to her; it was pretty obvious. “How different, and how she ends up, depends on her.”

He turned to the side to look at me. “She was black and blue, and there was so much blood. Brick called us when he’d had the first report from the doctors, they’d cut her. Just loads of cuts on the inside of her thighs. Fucking animals,” he muttered. “Still, I thought it was from… Fuck, Billie. What if… I mean, I’m glad it wasn’t you, and that makes me feel like a shithead, too.”

“Don’t. It’s a natural reaction.” I gave him a kiss. “You all did what you could. She’s back, and as shitty as it looks, she’s alive. Did he say anything about that? How critical is she?”

“The doctors had said that physically she’ll most likely make a full recovery. She’ll need some surgery, scars and all that shit, but she’ll be fine.” He turned silent again. “He said her tailbone was broken or fractured.”

That brought back some nasty memories for me, too. For some reason, that had felt like the worst. To have been raped so hard my tailbone broke. Compared to the rest, it might seem ridiculous that the damn tailbone had become such a huge issue for me. I’d heard similar stories, though, not just specifically that bone, but the focus on one detail that became the symbol of all the pain and humiliation. For one woman, it was her broken and pulled out fingernails. She had no memory of how it had happened, but she’d always taken care of her fingernails and had kept them long and painted. The loss of them had somehow represented the loss of herself.

“She’ll have plenty of support,” I said to Tommy. “She’s got good people around her, just like I had.”

Tommy nodded and kissed me. “I’m knackered.”

“Try to sleep. We’ll hear more tomorrow.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Without a Doubt

~oOo~

“TOMMY LEFT EARLY THIS morning,” Dad said while he was shoving scrambled eggs into his mouth. “He said you could go to the hospital later today as long as you didn’t go alone.”

“You’re gonna make damn sure I don’t go alone, aren’t you?”

Dad didn’t even bother replying. He just smiled.

If things had been different, it would probably have pissed me off that I was basically being held captive at a damn clubhouse, but I’d had some clear evidence of it being necessary. Mom and Dad didn’t seem to be going anywhere, either.

I helped clean up after breakfast, and then read to the kids for a while, but they were too twitchy to be able to pay attention. They were getting restless, and I couldn’t blame them, since I was feeling the exact same thing. They couldn’t go outside, the clubhouse was packed, and even though they’d found a room just for the kids, it wasn’t made for them. There wasn’t much for them, and they could sense that all we were really doing was waiting. Kids were not good at waiting. Especially not when they couldn’t get a clear answer for how long they would
be
waiting.

Dad kept himself occupied, but then I’d never seen him sit idly by. He probably couldn’t even if he tried. And Mom was the same.

Around lunch, two guys from some other club escorted Edie, Violet, and me to the hospital. I wasn’t sure if they really wanted us there, but I was the only one who seemed concerned.

“Lanie,” Edie said and sat down next to Mel. I’d never heard anyone else call her that, so I assumed it was something between sisters. “How… what are they saying?”

“She… She hasn’t said much. A few words to Brick.” Mel took a deep breath and wiped her eyes. “She’ll need some surgery, and they’ll do that later today. Otherwise they’re giving her so many drugs, I’m not sure she could say anything even if she wanted to.”

“It’s been a day,” Edie said. “Give her time.”

For some reason, what Sisco had said the day before came to mind, that it was a good thing that memories faded, and I understood what he meant. But also what he’d said about remembering the last time we recalled a memory, and I wondered how much that changed memories. Maybe how I thought my rape had happened was nothing like what it had been. Initially, I’d thought what had happened became worse and worse, but eventually details started to fade away. Not all of them; some were still perfectly clear. Strangely, the pain was the first thing I forgot. I knew it had been painful, but I didn’t
remember
how it had felt. Humiliation seemed to be the last thing that disappeared.

Time would probably help Eliza, too, but I was pretty sure that wasn’t the only thing she would need. It wasn’t just Eliza, either. When something like that happened, it affected everyone around them, too. I’d seen it in my own parents, and it couldn’t be compared to what had happened to Eliza. It was too soon to try to do anything about it at the moment, though. They needed to land.

I sat there for about an hour, and then I decided to make sure my own kid was okay. He’d spent most of the time at the clubhouse with Mom.

I found them in a room at the back of the clubhouse. It looked like it had been a storage room, but all the shelves were empty, and there were a bunch of kids in there. I didn’t even recognize the majority of them, but seeing that they’d brought in everyone associated with the club, I assumed it was kids to hang-arounds and possibly sweetbutts, too.

“Hey, Little Guy,” I said and picked up Felix. “How are you doing?”

“Good,” he said with a big smile. “We’re having fun. Can you let me down?”

“Okay,” I chuckled and put him down.

Mom came up to me when he was back with his friends.

“I figured there wasn’t much point in them knowing what was going on.”

“None at all,” I agreed. “I’ll go out and see if I can help with lunch or something. I’m kind of hoping we’ll be allowed to go home soon.”

*

I was bored to death. I just wanted to go back home, and even if I understood why we couldn’t, it didn’t help me to not be bored. Dad had been shown the gun storage room, and he’d sent me in there to clean guns, and it was quite fun—that was how damn bored I was. When I wasn’t bored, I was uncomfortable and itchy.

And the fucking gossip.

I’d tried to help with lunch, but a bunch of women pushed together was a breeding ground for gossip. The fact that quite a few of them were sweetbutts who fucked the same men didn’t help. I knew about them, I knew what their function was in the club, and I might not have minded their presence, but that didn’t mean I wanted to hear anything about it.

It was when I’d left the kitchen to stop myself from slicing throats that Dad had picked up on my discomfort and send me to clean guns. It worked. It was something I was familiar with, and it meant I was alone in a room.

“How are you holding up, honey?” Mom asked when she came to find me. “We haven’t really had time to talk.”

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “Pretty okay, I guess. Better than most, worse than some. You?”

“I’m okay.” She sat down next to me, picked up a gun, and started to clean it. “They are very organized. Bear told me to not worry about the bullets from my gun. They’d make sure they were all gone. I hadn’t even thought about that.”

I laughed. “I’m sure they keep a close eye on what bullets they put where, and where the guns to the bullets are, too. I’m sorry about this.”

“Oh, pish,” she said dismissively. “At least I finally had some use of all that practice. You were amazing, sweetheart. Reminded me of your dad.”

“He did train me.”

“True, but still, I was impressed.” She’d dismantled the gun and started rubbing a cloth over the barrel. “You need to do what you can for Eliza.”

“I will, Mom.” I reached for the next gun, a Beretta. “They’re in big trouble. I’m not sure what this will all mean.”

“It’ll mean that you either leave Tommy, or you stand behind him as strong as you can.”

I laughed. “That simple?”

“That simple, honey. There’s no in between or half-in in situations like this.”

“Then I guess I’ll stand behind him.”

“Think you should ask if you can keep one of these guns, so they don’t have to keep digging bullets out of bodies just to protect you.”

~oOo~

THERE WERE SOME SHIT jobs they’d never trust with a hang-around, and only a prospect close to becoming a member would be considered for it. Burying bodies was one of them. Having a hang-around, who might get pissed for not being moved up, literally knowing where the bodies were buried was stupid. Since they didn’t have any prospects, Tommy was shoveling dirt from a grave big enough for three big Mexicans. Fifteen feet away they were digging another grave of the same size. Six men of the Mexicans had survived, but judging by the state of them, Tommy had a feeling they’d died wishing they hadn’t.

“You know,” Ahab said, “I used to think this kind of killing, killing for the club, was so much easier because there was no fucking paperwork. But at least you didn’t have to dig the fucking graves when you were in the Army.”

“Paperwork?” Roach asked. “What, you had to write reports about your kills?”

“Oh, yeah,” Ahab laughed. “Government is government even when it comes to killing. If there are no reports on kills, there’s no statistics. And without statistics, how will they know if they’re winning or losing?”

Tommy didn’t particularly like Ahab, and it wasn’t just the general discharge. It was the fact that he never seemed to shut up, and he was so fucking full of himself. He’d also noticed that Ahab kept looking at Billie in a way he shouldn’t be fucking looking at a brother’s old lady. It wasn’t anything concrete, just a lot of small things tied together that made him dislike him.

But he had to agree with Ahab that there was a whole lotta fucking paperwork in the military. Every kill came with paperwork, and every kill had to be documented, have a witness, and some evidence that supported that it was a righteous kill. Not that Tommy had ever avoided a necessary kill due to paperwork, but there was more than one person he’d been very suspicious towards that he hadn’t killed because it would’ve gotten him into a world of trouble. Few people knew that about soldiers, even if they were in the middle of a fucking war, they had to be able to justify every kill. Obviously, in some situations, like a full blown battle zone, it wasn’t that fucking easy to know exactly how many people you’d killed, if anyone, but the paperwork was still there.

Dig laughed from where he and Bull were sitting, resting against a tree. It had surprised Tommy that Dig had been allowed to go with them.

“You think it sucked in the Army,” Dig said. “Try doing undercover ops, writing shitloads of reports you
knew
would be stamped with a big red stamp and buried where no one could find it. That was pointless.”

Bull just shook his head. “Just another reason I’m glad I never enlisted.” He turned towards Dig. “I take it you’re onboard with all this?”

“Yup. You guys are all right. I misjudged you, but you’ve got your priorities straight. Besides, if I get to kill rapists, I’m a happy camper. Any news on the girl?”

“Not much,” Bull said. “She’ll live.”

“Guess that’s something,” Dig mumbled.

“Is it true?” Roach asked over an hour later when they were on their way back to the van. They were all soaked in sweat, and the two New Yorkers were suspiciously red. Tommy had a feeling the sunburn had gone a little out of hand for them. “What Ahab said about paperwork, I mean. He tends to say a lot of shit,” he added with a big smile.

“It’s true. Both about the reports and about him saying a lot of shit.”

“It’s just his mouth,” Roach said and looked at Ahab, who was walking next to Bull and Mace a bit ahead of them. “He talks a lot, but he comes through when it counts.”

“He was your sponsor?”

“Yeah. He was the only one who didn’t call me ‘son,’” Roach answered with a smile. “I fucking hate being called that.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Tommy could certainly see why some would call Roach ‘son.’ He was young enough to be a lot of the members’ son. He was even younger than some of the actual sons—by over a decade.

When they got back to the clubhouse, the only thing Tommy wanted was a fucking shower and to lie down for a while. His shoulder was hurting like hell, and he hadn’t had many hours of sleep the night before.

“Brick called,” was the first thing Sisco said when they stepped into the clubhouse. “He wants us all at the hospital.”

“All of us?” Ahab asked.

“Yeah. You, Slug, and the kid, too,” Sisco answered Ahab with a nod towards Roach, and Tommy bit the insides of his cheeks to not laugh at Roach’s very visible sigh. “Your chick is meeting us there,” he said to Ahab.

“She’s not… You know what, fuck it,” Ahab sighed. “Can we have a shower first? I doubt I’m the only one who wants one.”

“Half an hour.”

Tommy sighed, too, and he just barely had time to say ‘hi’ to Felix and Billie before he had to leave again. He wanted to talk to her, to make sure she was okay. What had happened could, possibly should, make her change her mind about being with him—possibly even about letting Felix anywhere near him. He didn’t think it would, though, and he wasn’t sure if that was a good or a bad thing.

*

Tommy still felt more dead than alive by the time he arrived at the hospital. Bear was waiting for him outside hospital chapel. He found it ironic that they’d chosen that place for the meeting.

“What’s the word on Eliza?” he asked.

“They just took her to surgery.”

“Surgery?”

“Yeah…” Bear said, and clear his throat. “Not sure exactly...”

“I don’t need to know,” Tommy interrupted him. He didn’t
want
to know. Just the thought that she needed surgery was bad enough. The first info they’d had on Eliza had included a broken nose, the cuts on the inside of her thighs, then the very vague and ominous mentioning of ‘vaginal and anal injuries.’ “How’s Mel?”

“She’s being Mel. In the good way.” He nodded towards the chapel. “Get inside. Brick should be here soon.”

Niu was already waiting with her two bodyguards, and the rest of them were there, too. It was just Brick missing. They all waited in silence; somehow it felt wrong to talk.

When Brick finally arrived, he looked more dead than alive, too. His attention immediately turned to Niu.

“Make it short,” he said.

“Of course.”

“Did you not see this coming?” Brick asked, and the man who was usually the epitome of calm was about to lose it already. “How the fuck did you miss an attack like this one? You said they’d attack all your allies.”

“Yes. And us, too,” Niu answered. “I know that Roberto has been your contact, but from now on, it’ll be me. I understand that this may cause some concern.”

Brick didn’t let her finish. “Honestly? Right now I don’t give a fuck who I’m talking to. I just want to know that you are on top of things, and if shit goes down, that I’m really fucking high up on your ‘to call’ list.”