Restart (The Revival Series) (8 page)

“Are you okay chick?” Carrie asked, noticing how quiet Leah had become. “I’m good Caz, sorry I just had some messages from Ryan so will need to call him shortly."

Carrie pulled into the car park, and quickly found a space, before jumping out of the car and walking to the machine to pay for a ticket.

Leah unclipped her seatbelt and gathered up her things from the footwell of the car, before getting out and taking in the fresh air.

She really did love it here and wished circumstances were different and that she could move here and be near Carrie, but she also knew that Ryan would never move that far away from London.

Walking down the hill into the town centre, the five of them chatted animatedly and the kids all played and giggled. After walking around several shops and Leah blasting the joint account card, more than she probably should, they stopped at a little ice cream parlour.

The kids sat on a separate table, all tucking into their sundaes as if they had never been fed, whilst Leah and Carrie sat on another smaller table, Leah with a warm waffle, with ice cream, chocolate sauce and nuts, and Carrie with pancakes with strawberries, bananas, chocolate sauce and vanilla ice cream.

“This is so naughty, but so goddamn nice.” Carrie chuckled, spooning in a mouthful of ice cream.

“It is really nice.” Replied Leah.

“So come on then, tell me what's going on? I can tell there is something up, its written all over your face, and what better way to do it than over ice cream.”

Leah sighed and leaned back into her chair, prodding her dessert with her spoon. “Is it that obvious Caz?”

“Well put it this way, the Leah I know is bubbly and full of life, and happy. This person sitting in front of me has been way too quiet and hasn’t smiled hardly once since you arrived; plus Leah I have known you for like ever! If something is wrong I can read you like a well-written novel.”

Leah laughed at Carries comparison to a book and took a mouthful of her waffle.

“Things just aren’t great at home Caz. Ryan and me, well I don’t know how to explain it, but he feels more like a grumpy flatmate than my husband.”

“Is he working too hard maybe?” Carrie questioned.

“Probably, but he lives for his work or so he’s always told me. He never seems to have a break, whether he’s at home or not, he just locks himself in his office most of the time and we don’t see him unless it's time for dinner.”

“Are the kids noticing?”

“Emma doesn’t seem to, but I can tell Ben is, you can see the disappointment on his face when Ryan doesn’t join us to do things.”

Carrie sat back in her chair looking thoughtful. “Have you tried telling Ryan how you feel? Maybe he doesn’t realize? You know what men are like.”

“Not entirely no, but I think – Oh god I don’t want to even say it out loud, but Caz I really think there is someone else.”

Carrie began choking on the ice cream and sat up trying to compose herself. She had known Ryan and Leah for so many years, and she knew Ryan had always been besotted with Leah, and the thought of him cheating on her was almost comical.

“Ryan, cheating? What on earth makes you think that? That just seems so impossible.”

“I would have thought the same until this year Caz. He locks himself away, leaves the room when the phone rings, and his boss Melissa is always all over him when I've seen them. Maybe, you know he's bored with me and she's something new.”

The words caught in Leah's throat, and she tried her hardest to hold back the tears. The last thing she wanted to do was to start crying in public, especially in front of the kids.

“Oh Lee, I really don’t know what to say, but all I can suggest is that you talk to him. Nothing will get solved if the pair of you don’t talk things through. It will just get worse.”

Leah knew Carrie was right, but it wasn’t the fact of talking to Ryan, it was getting him pinned down to talk, and she could just imagine how the conversation would go, and she knew whatever she said, he would turn around to be her fault, and then she had the other complication of Greg to consider.

“Caz, do you remember what life was like when we were at school? Did you see the reunion group on Facebook?”

“I did, and I deleted it. That’s in the past, and I for one refuse to live in the past. I did that once and I refuse to become that person again. The only way we can go is forward.”

Leah nodded and took in Carrie’s words. Carrie had lived a life of just her career and shut out all of her family and friends, apart from Leah, for 2 years after her first husband died in a freak accident, as she blamed herself. It wasn’t until her mother become poorly that she had no choice but to connect back with everyone that she finally changed.

It was awful that they had lost Carrie’s mother Anne, but in a way, it helped Carrie heal from her past and find Daniel as well. She was truly happy now.

“I downloaded the messaging app to be nosey. You didn’t miss much, it was just full of old names, all trying to outdo each other.”

“I can imagine. That’s one of the reasons I deleted the invitation.”

“Caz, do you remember Gregory Linton?”

“Gregory, wow that’s a blast from the past, and how could I forget that name! You pined for him for months when he moved.”

“I was just thinking lately how things have turned out, and how things would have been if say Greg had never moved.”

“I honestly don’t think it would have made any difference Leah. You and Ryan may be hitting a rough patch but anyone who knows you can see a mile off that the two of you are perfect for each other. Greggory was a nice guy but I couldn’t see you with him long term.”

“Really? Why would you say that?”

“Leah, come on seriously, you and Gregory fancied the pants off of each other, but personality wise you weren’t compatible at all. He couldn’t read you and know what you were thinking and feeling; not like Ryan can.”

Leah put her head down and took in Carrie’s words. Did she really misread her relationship with Greg so badly, or was she forgetting how things really had been between them?

“In any case Lee, what made you think about Gregory? Was he in that group on facebook?”

Leah decided not to lie to Carrie, although she wasn’t going to tell her about things with Greg, she didn’t need to lie about the small details.

“Yeah, he was. Took me a while to figure out who it was mind you, and gave me a bit of a shock to begin with, after all, this time.”

“I can imagine. Did you speak to him in the group?”

“No, no, I didn’t write in there at all, I was just nosey and read what everyone was saying.”

“Good. I personally don’t see what good would come from ever visiting the past like that. Work on your marriage Leah. Trust me you and Ryan have a good thing and something that needs saving, don’t throw it away for memories from the past.”

Leah knew Carrie was right, but she also knew she now had strong feelings for Greg, and she wasn’t sure what she had with Ryan now, could even be saved, even for the sake of the kids anymore.

The day continued in a blur of clothes and souvenir shops, and then a quick stop at the supermarket on the way back. The kids were exhausted and moaning, so Leah ran in by herself and left them all in the car with Carrie, not only that but it gave her a moment to call both Ryan and Greg without extra ears listening in.

“Hello. You have reached the phone of …” Leah cut the call off before it began recording. As usual, Ryan didn’t answer his phone, and she hated leaving voice messages. Instead, she typed out a quick message, in between choosing breakfast cereals for her and the kids.

Leah: Hey, we got here fine, I would have called you already, but as you know the signal is rubbish here. The passports are in the top of our wardrobe in the documents box, why do you need them?”

Once she had sent it she called Greg.

“Well, I didn’t expect to be getting this call, hows things?”

Leah smiled at the sound of Greg’s voice and scanned the supermarket aisles for the items they would need. She didn’t want to spend too long shopping or Carrie might wonder what she was doing.

“Things are good, it's nice to get away from everything.”

“I can imagine. How’s Carrie?”

“She’s good, its really nice to see her, it has been a while.”

The line went silent, and Leah found herself lost for words until Greg broke the silence.

“I miss you, Leah. I know this is all new to us but I just feel..well I just need you to know that I can’t wait for you to come back.”

“I miss you too.” Leah mumbled. “I have to go, Carrie is waiting for me, so it's just a quick call, but I just erm I just wanted to hear your voice.”

“Ok darling, have a wonderful time.”

Leah hung up the phone and sighed. After her conversation with Carrie, talking to Greg felt very staged and false. Was Carrie right? Was things with Greg not as clear cut as Leah thought they were?

Leah finished the shopping and joined the others back at the car before they made their way back to the farm.

“What are your plans for dinner tonight?” Asked Carrie, indicating into the Farm road.

“Well I’ve bought some bits and pieces but I wasn’t really sure yet.”

“Well since the kids get on so well, I was going to suggest they could all have a sleepover in the house, with pizza and DVDs, and if you fancied it I will come over and we can have a girly evening. Daniel, I’m sure can cope with the kids for tonight.”

“Sounds great.” Leah smiled back at Carrie, and although exhaustion was beginning to hit Leah, she wanted to spend as much time with Carrie as she could while she was there.

Carrie and Tyler walked into the farm house, having just said goodbye to Leah and the kids in the courtyard, to find Daniel in the living room, with a big cheesy grin on his face.

“What’s put that big smile on your face?” She questioned, whilst kicking off her boots.

“Well apart from seeing your beautiful face, I’ve just had a very interesting phone call.”

“Well don’t keep secrets, what was this phone call?”

“Tyler, go get cleaned up please and you can play on the Xbox for a bit.” Daniel said to his son, obviously wanting the young boys ears away from what he had to tell Carrie.

Carrie was now even more intrigued and crossed her arms while she waited for the now excited Tyler to shake off his coat and shoes before running off with the prospect of playing video games.

“You are going to love this,” Daniel said, before telling Carrie all about his interesting phone call.

Chapter 9

Opening the bottle of sparkling Rose that she had bought from the supermarket, Leah retrieved two wine glasses from the cupboard and poured the wine into the glasses for when Carrie made her way over. She had said goodbye to the kids an hour ago, all excited at the idea of pizza and DVDs, although Leah knew there would probably end up being arguments over what they ended up watching, and felt quite sorry for Daniel having to deal with them all.

After she had dropped the kids at the main house, she had come back to the barn and had a nice hot bubble bath and spent the hour relaxing, before getting herself into her pyjamas, and getting excited to spend the evening with Carrie.

It wasn’t long before Carrie knocked on the door, and Leah opened it, smiling at the image of her best friend in her pyjamas also, accompanied by a big wool coat, snow boots and holding a bottle of vodka in one hand and a bottle of cola under the other arm.

“Great minds think alike,” Carrie said, taking in Leah’s nightwear, and passing her the vodka bottle.

“Very, but I can’t say I’m not shocked that you are wearing yours.”

“True, I guess I have changed a bit since living here. I practically put my pj's on as soon as I know I don’t need to leave the house anymore for the day.”

Leah giggled and thought of how that was such a big change for both of them. They had always been so fashion conscious until they settled down. Maybe that was a big part of her problem with Ryan, maybe she had let herself go? She thought, biting her bottom lip.

Maybe that has pushed Ryan into the arms of Melissa? Leah shook her head and tried to push the thought away.

Carrie followed Leah into the barn, kicking off her snow boots and settling on the sofa with her legs underneath her. Leah went to the kitchen and put the bottle of cola in the fridge and retrieved the glasses of wine and the bottle as she knew they wouldn’t take long before needing a top up.

Passing the wine glass to Carrie, she sat down at the opposite end of the sofa and took a long sip from her glass, savouring the relaxing taste of the alcohol as is slid slowly down her throat.

“So, tell me everything I am missing out on back home!” Carrie said, eager to hear all about, how different life was there to how hers now was on the farm.

“Not really much to tell,” said Leah, leaning her head on her hand against the back of the sofa. “Nothing really changes, it’s as busy as it always has been. Have you spoke to Jase recently?”

Jason was Carrie’s twin brother, ever since the death of their mother and the birth of Tyler, Leah knew that the pair had grown a lot closer and spoke regularly, with Jason coming to visit around once a month if he could make it, and bringing his daughter Mia with him. Jason and Mia’s mother Lacey had split up but were still on good terms, which gave Leah some hope that If she ever split with Ryan that maybe things could be good between them too for the sake of the kids.

“He’s really good, although having a few problems with Lacey. She has a new boyfriend but he’s a bit of the jealous type and doesn’t like Jason seeing Mia as much as he wants to, and disapproves of Jay having her overnight or god forbid bringing her here for a few days.”

“Oh god, is Lacey not saying anything?”

“She tries but from what I’ve heard, she is so besotted with this new guy that she just shrugs a lot of it off. It’s Mia I feel for in all of this, she’s not a baby anymore, she’s almost ten and starting senior school next year, so she takes in everything that’s going on. This guy has also been trying to poison Mia against Jason with snide comments. Thankfully Mia is smart enough not to believe any of it.”

Carrie downed the glass of wine, in obvious frustration at her brother’s problems. Leah copied and grabbed the bottle from the table and refilled both of their glasses.

“I’m shocked Jay hasn’t knocked him out from any of that,” Leah said, feeling a little light headed, from drinking her glass so fast.

“Oh, I think he would have if it didn’t involve Mia. He is so worried that Lacey will stop him seeing her, especially with this new guy on the scene, and well hitting him would just give them more ammunition against him. Not only that but I think a small part of him is jealous.”

“Jealous? Really?”

“Yep, he won't admit it, but he still cares for Lacey, and seeing her happy with someone else is hitting him pretty hard. If you ask me he needs to find himself, someone. He was the one who hated me for shutting everyone out when I lost Ian, but even though he hasn’t lost Lacey, in the same way, he isn’t moving on either, although he doesn’t realize it.”

“It must be so hard for Mia, you know, not having both her parents around,” Leah muttered, thinking about how it would be for her own kids if she and Ryan parted ways.

“Well we both know about that don’t we. Growing up without Fathers I mean. Our mums did fab jobs though I must admit as we turned out fantastic.”

“I wasn’t fatherless, not really. Mum married Matt when I was eight.”

“True, but that was still eight years without one.”

“I don’t want my kids not to have their father Carrie,” Leah said, tears beginning to stream down her face.

“Oh, Leah,” Carrie put down her glass and took Leah’s out of her hand and did the same with it, before pulling her friend into a hug.

“Leah, sweetheart, what is going on? This isn’t right, you need to talk to Ryan, you shouldn’t be like this, and it’s going to make you ill.”

“Maybe I am ill Carrie. I keep wondering if I am the problem here, maybe I need go and see a doctor, but what if they think I’m not safe to look after my own children?” By now Leah was beginning to heavily sob, and Carrie struggled to understand the words coming from her mouth.

“Leah, no one will take those kids from you! You are an amazing mother, you are just going through a rough patch and you can pull through this. You just need to talk to Ryan, please, it’s the only way you will repair this.”

Leah nodded, and tried to compose herself, she knew talking was the answer, but starting the conversation and getting Ryan to talk was harder than it seemed. She knocked back her glass of wine and smiled at Carrie. “Stuff it lets get drunk and have some fun, I’m grabbing the vodka!”

A few hours later, after several more glasses of wine and vodka shots, the pair of them were giggling like school girls and not forming coherent words anymore.

“By now the television was on, switched to the music channels and Carrie was dancing around the room, barely staying on her feet.

“Leah, do you remember when I first went on that date with Ian, I was so damn scared and then you dropped your dinner in your lap” Carrie was beginning to laugh so hard at the memory she couldn’t get any more words out.

“Hey, I did not, it was Greg, and he caught my plate with his elbow! Do you remember the look the waiter gave us? Why on earth did we think that it was a good idea to go to a posh restaurant at fifteen?”

“It was funny, though, seeing Gregory trying frantically to try and help you, and at least, he let you borrow his coat to hold over the front of you to walk home.”

“Yeah that was sweet; it was so cold that night too.”

“I wonder what he’s doing now.” Carrie wondered, and Leah tried hard to keep a neutral look on her face.

“Who knows? Probably happily married by now, like most of us.”

Eventually, after midnight, Carrie put on her boots and drunkenly tiptoed across the courtyard, trying her best to walk in a straight line but not making a very good job of it.

Leah laughed as she watched her friend until she could no longer see her, and shut the door, returning to the living room and flopping on the sofa. She grabbed her mobile and unlocked the screen, not surprised to see no signal as usual, but she opened up the photos and started flicking through them.

At the beginning of her photos, was a picture that Emma had taken of Leah and Ryan. Leah had her head leaning on Ryan's' chest, and Ryan had his arms around Leah protectively, they looked happy, and in love. The photo was only a year old. How was it possible that things could change that much in a year?

Eventually, Leah passed out from exhaustion and alcohol, on the sofa.

The next morning came around, and Leah woke up feeling sick and stiff. Sleeping upright on the sofa was not the best idea and she was surely feeling it, along with the effects of the excessive amount of alcohol she had consumed.

Pulling her stiff body up from the sofa, she stretched out her arms, and gave the empty glasses and bottles on the table a dirty look, before picking them up and taking them out to the kitchen, and switching on the kettle to make a coffee, in an attempt to wake herself up.

She dragged her fingers through her long brown hair and then rubbed her hands over her face. It had been a long time since she had been that drunk and a long time since she had felt this awful the next day.

Once she was showered, dressed and had forced herself to eat a slice of toast, she slipped on her boots and jacket before taking a slow walk over to the main house, hoping the kids had been well behaved.

Arriving at the house, Daniel let her in on his way out, laughing at his wife. Leah walked into the kitchen to find Carrie still in her dressing gown, her head on the table and a cup of coffee and tablets in front of her. Carrie turned her head to face Leah, before closing her eyes again.

“I am never, never, never, ever, EVER drinking again!” She said, reaching out blindly for the tablets on the table.

“I know how you feel chick.” Said Leah, pulling out the chair next to her and sitting down, before passing Carrie her coffee before she knocked it over and burnt herself.

“We are officially old Leah! It was never this bad the next day when we were younger, and this is a sign we have to accept. We are now old!”

“Speak for yourself, we’ve got a bit longer left in us I'm sure,”

“True but this officially sucks! I have work to do today for Angela in the London office, as she needs it by the morning. Why was I so stupid to drink so much, and you’re my best friend, you should have stopped me,” Carrie teased, pushing her hair behind her ears.

“Where’s the kids? It's too quiet in here,”

“Don’t complain, Leah, quiet is good right now. Daniel fed them before I got up and they are playing on the Xbox in Tyler’s room. I can't see us seeing them before lunch, thank god, and I mean that in the best possible way.”

Leah chuckled, she felt awful but the state Carrie was in was so funny, as Carrie was such a hypochondriac.

“Let’s have a pampering day!” Carrie said, late morning. She was finally starting to look and feel slightly human and was now showered and dressed. Carrie and Leah were curled up on Carrie’s sofa, both cradling another cup of coffee.

“Why today? Don’t you want to just lounge?”

“Normally my darling Leah that would be a yes, but I feel and look like shit, and a good pampering would make me feel better, and I’m sure would do you wonders too. Come on.”

Leah followed Carrie through the house to her bedroom, and through to the huge adjacent bathroom, and began pulling out all sorts of creams and lotions from the cupboard.

It wasn’t long before the pair, were sitting on Carrie’s bed, both with green faces, covered in mud packs, and Leah had her fingers in a bowl of warm water, soaking her cuticles while Carrie painted her toenails for her.

“This is nice,” said Leah, leaning her head back and trying not to get any of the face pack on Carrie’s bedding”

“It is, it’s different and we could both do with a  good pampering,”

“Not that I’m not enjoying the pedicure and soon to be manicure, but apart from the face pack, this is a bit one-sided. Let me do your nails as well.”

Carrie sighed and shook her head, trying hard to keep the grin from her face. “Leah. I live on a farm, pedicures and manicures don’t exactly serve the same purpose as they do in London”

“Oh that’s rubbish Caz, I know you still get your nails done in town!”

“Maybe I do, but I'm not the one that’s in good need of a pampering, so shut up and relax,”

Leah noticed, again the grin that Carrie was trying to suppress, and took her hands out of the bowl and wiped them on a towel.

“Okay come on Caz, what is going on?”

“What? Erm, nothing?”

“That grin you are trying to hide says differently.”

“Stop being so suspicious, I just want to spoil my best friend is all, so stop complaining.”

The evening drew in and Carrie offered to let the kids stay over again, seeing as they were all playing again nicely and wouldn’t let Leah get a word in edgeways to argue about it.

Leah and Carrie walked over to the barn after dinner, and Leah made them both more coffee, and they sat by the kitchen table. Leah felt as if she was all dressed up with nowhere to go. Carrie had done her nails, her hair and her makeup to the point that Leah felt as if she should be going out on a date, not home to watch a film and have an early night.

“I can’t stay long, I need to get back and get the work done I promised Angela, I can't be two days late with it, she will kill me,” Leah ran a finger around the top of her cup before licking the drips off of her finger.