10. Be a neat lover. Toss all used condoms in the trash. Throw aftersex wipe-up towels right into the hamper. Keep a container of good disposable wipes near the bed. Wash all bedsheets after you’ve “used” them, too.
Take Extra Care For Anal Sex
11. Single dip only. Once you’ve committed to the back door—the vagina and mouth are off limits till after penis and hands are thoroughly washed, or you’ll risk introducing germs that can lead to infection.
12. Get slippery. Unlike the vagina, the rectum is delicate and dry, with no natural lubrication to glide the penis inside. You MUST squeeze on the lube—in large, generous amounts. And don’t even think about using quick-to-lose-its-slip saliva.
13. Choose and use sextoys carefully. Sextoys designed for anal play come with a wide, flared base or extra-long handle for you to grip, so they’re unable to slip inside and disappear. Never back-and-forth a sextoy between orifices. Always apply lube, insert gently, follow the natural curve of the rectum, and stop immediately if there’s ever any pain.
14. Eliminate rough edges. Some sextoys arrive from the factory with rough edges and seams that are dangerous if inserted. Before first use, examine every sextoy closely by running your fingertips over the entire surface, and file smooth any roughness or sharpness you find. While you’re at it, file your fingernails smooth, too.
15. Set up barriers. Roll a smooth spermicide-free latex condom over the penis, as well as over any sextoys you plan to insert. If inserting fingers, wear latex gloves or finger cots. Place a latex dam or large sheet of plastic wrap between any tongue-to-anus stimulation—or cut a fresh latex condom lengthwise and lay it flat. Never invert or re-use any latex barriers—always toss them out.
16. Pee when finished. Urinate immediately after sex to flush your urethra of any bacteria you might have picked up, and send them rushing out before they can work their way in.
How To Guarantee UN-Safe Sex
NEVER try any of these moves—no matter what anyone tells you:
Never fall for “I’ll pull out.” This UNsafe practice of withdrawing the penis from the vagina, mouth or anus before ejaculation can easily lead to STIs or pregnancy. “Pre-come” almost always leaks out before his orgasm. Always roll a condom over the penis before any penetration.
Never use Nonoxynol-9. Once thought to prevent the spread of the HIV virus, scientific testing has revealed this lubricant actually increases the risk of transmission. Do not use N-9 lubricant or condoms coated with N-9 lubricant.
Never use household lubricants. Slippery liquids and gels found around the house are awful for intercourse and can destroy condoms. Never use petroleum jelly, vegetable shortening, cooking oils, lip balm or anything slippery that isn’t specifically designed for sex.
Never insert objects not designed for sex. Although they may have the right shape, never insert hairbrushes, fruits, vegetables, bottles, or cans into the vagina or anus—they can be dangerous and difficult to extract if lost inside.
Solutions To Safer Sex WHAT IFs
WHAT IF you give a handjob without a condom? You’re safe, as long as you don’t have any fresh cuts, open sores or cracks from chapping on your hands. Until your hands are healed, put a condom on him when giving handjobs, or wear a latex glove you can lube on the outside.
WHAT IF you forgot to use birth control—or the condom broke? You can take emergency contraception (EC) within 120 hours (5 days) after unprotected intercourse, but the sooner, the better. But remember: EC does not protect you from STIs, nor should it be used in lieu of birth control.
WHAT IF either of you is allergic to latex condoms? It may be the latex, or the spermicide already on the condom. Try a condom without spermicide, or a polyurethane condom instead, but do not use condoms made of lambskin, since they will not block the transmission of many STIs.
WHAT IF he’s uncomfortable in condoms? Try switching styles or brands—you can now find latex condoms in all different shapes, sizes and thicknesses, from extra large to snugger fit to wider at the tip. Test-drive a few and find a new favorite.
WHAT IF you want to share a sextoy? Don’t. But if it’s going to happen in the heat of passion, roll a fresh condom on it each time it’s going to be enjoyed by a different person. Then clean the sextoy thoroughly with antibacterial soap or adult toy cleanser between uses.
Dr. Sadie Sez: Why Must This All Sound So Dire?
STIs are serious business, yet the threat is all-too-easy to brush off when the opportunity for casual sex presents itself in the shape of a handsome stranger or a willing babe. While much of this information does not pertain to you when you’re in a faithfully monogamous relationship, it DOES pertain to you 100 percent if you are sexually active with a partner or partners of unknown sexual histories—no matter what they might tell you. Protect yourself. Everything you need to know to preserve your health is in your hands.
What Are The Symptoms Of STIs?
Each type of infection has its own symptoms, but the most common include:
Unusual discharge from penis or vagina
Warts, sores, itching or burning in the genital area
A burning sensation during urination
Anal itching, soreness or bleeding
If this is happening to you, or you suspect you may have caught an STI, see your physician immediately. Do not be embarrassed or shy, and do not wait—the sooner you act, the better off you’ll be.
What Kinds Of STIs Are Out There?
Unfortunately, there are over 20 different types of sexually transmitted infections you can catch during unprotected sex—and it takes only one slip-up to put yourself at risk. You are not limited to catching one at a time—a partner infected with several could pass them all along to you in one act of unprotected sex.
STIs Can Either Be Bacterial Or Viral:
Bacterial STIs. Can be treated and often cured with antibiotics, so the sooner you see your doctor, the easier it will be for the cure to work. Bacterial STIs include syphilis, gonorrhea and chlamydia.
Viral STIs. Can be treated, but not cured with today’s medicine, and you will have it the rest of your life. The sooner you see your doctor, the more effectively it can be controlled. Viral STIs include HIV/AIDS, genital herpes, genital warts, human papillomavirus (HPV) and hepatitis B.
Left untreated, STIs can lead to serious complications, including liver failure, cancers, neurological difficulties, and even death. Although both men and women are at risk, the burden of infection can be more severe for women:
A pregnant woman can pass her STI to the baby before and during the baby’s birth.
A woman can become infertile if an STI goes undetected and untreated over a period of time.
HPV, an all-too-common STI, is now recognized as the major cause of cervical cancer.
What To Do?
Millions of people unknowingly carry and transmit STIs to sex partners, either because they have no symptoms, or simply choose to ignore them. The only way you can know if you or your partner has an STI is to get tested at a reputable clinic or doctor’s office. Don’t put it off.
Your best weapons against STIs? Use protection. Say no to casual hook-ups. Know your partner. Stay monogamous. And get regular checkups.
Learn More About Protecting Yourself
CDC Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
http://www.cdc.gov/std
Call 1-800-CDC-INFO for information and referrals to STD clinics
American Social Health Association
http://www.ashastd.org
National Women’s Health Information Center
http://www.4women.gov/faq/stdsgen.htm
Planned Parenthood
http://www.plannedparenthood.org
AfterPlay
This isn’t the end, it’s a beginning.
By mastering the positions and techniques of lovemaking, you’ll feel your deeper emotional connection evolving, too—flowing with intimacy, creativity, generosity, pleasure, love.
Think sensually. Act joyously. Touch slowly. Laugh freely. Orgasm lavishly. And celebrate all the new love and passion in your life.
P.S. Please feel free to share your learning and loving experiences with me, and let me know how this book has inspired and intensified your lovemaking. Your complete confidentiality is assured, of course. Write to me at ticklekitty.com, or Tickle Kitty, 3701 Sacramento Street #107, San Francisco, CA 94118 USA.
Dr. Sadie’s Pleasure Position Index
Find Your New Favorite Position:
Missionary, 46
A Little On The Side, 46
Nutcracker, 47
Plow, 47
The Jellyroll, 48
Deep Mission, 49
The Bare Hug, 49
Orgasm’s Edge, 50
Standing Ovation, 50
Lean Machine, 51
Kneel’n’Squeal, 51
Doggystyle, 58
Basic Doggystyle, 58
Plush Puppy, 58
French Poodle, 59
Buried Pleasure, 59
Bottom’s Up, 60
Happy Crab, 60
Ride ‘Er Cowboy, 61
Three-Legged Fox, 61
Red Cheeks, 62
Arc de Triomphe, 62
Double Take, 63
Side Winder, 64
Thumb Wrestler, 64
Cowgirl, 72
Basic Cowgirl, 72
Bucking Butterfly, 72
Ultimate Lap Dance, 73
Cover Girl, 73
Ball Player, 74
Backfire, 74
Ultimate Takedown, 75
Spin Cycle, 75
View Master, 76
Sun Worshippers, 76
Banana Split, 77
Bend Me, Shape Me, 77
Spooning, 84
Basic Spooning, 84
Sporking, 84
Dessert Spoon, 85
Heaping Spoon, 85
Tee Spoon, 86
Silver Spoon, 86
Clitilicious, 92
Cushion Pushin’, 92
Wrap Party, 93
Wishboner, 93
Snug Smuggler, 94
High Rider, 94
Tumbleweed, 95
Stargazer, 95
G-spot, 105
G Marks the Spot, 105
Doggystyle G, 106
Bull’s-eye, 106
G-spa, 107
Lady Godiva, 107
Leap Frog, 108
Butting In, 108
Tilt-A-Whirl, 109
Swan Dive, 110
Sweet Heat Love Seat, 110
Backdoor, 122
Buttplay Foreplay, 122
Backdoor Missionary, 122
Full Spoon, 123
Quarterback Sneak, 123
Plunge Diver, 124
Easy Rider, 124
Lion King, 125
Can Opener, 125
Hot Heinie, 126
Rump Roast, 126
HE-spot, 136
Kissing Butt, 136
Uranus Landing, 136
Rocket Launcher, 137
Moon Probe, 137
Strap-On I: Winged Pleasure, 138
Strap-On II: Bareback Rider, 138
Strap-On III: The Dominator, 138
Voluptuous, 143
No-Ouch Couch, 143
Deep Mission, 143
Gutsy Call, 144
Good Headboard, 144
Pregnant, 156
Soft Landing, 156
Ladle of Love, 156
Magic Spoon, 157
Cloud 9, 157
Balancing Ball, 158
Prone to Please, 159
Golden Gate, 159
Belly Up, 160
Wheelbarrow, 160
Special Thanks
A deep, ecstatic, joyous THANK YOU to my all-star publishing team. I bless the sweet angel on my shoulder who led me to each of you:
Rich Lippman—Wordmaster extraordinaire. Thank you for your work on this amazing, accessible, super-creative fourth book.
Steve Lee—Illustrator exceptionale. Your instructional drawings play so seductively.
Chris Hall—Text designer impressivo. Your beautiful layouts bring this book to life.
Todd Gallopo—Cover designer magnifico. Your superb concepts are truly eye-opening.
Thanks to my close friends and peers who always support of my creative endeavors:
Mark S., Lisa M., Elizabeth T., Bo P., Jenna M., Joanna M., Danalynn D., Sara R., Shelly C. & Mike R., Dana W., Vajra H., Laura H., E. Moy, Sue J., Randy G., Ted M., Barbara L., Ian K.
And to my family—thank you for your strength and love:
My beautiful mother: This one’s for YOU, Mom!
The best friend anyone could ever dream for: Kristin L .
My sweet little sister who loves unconditionally: Jazmin J.
The coolest brother with the biggest heart: Jason J.
The greatest little girl in the world, my daughter: Sienna
About the Author
When you need answers about lovemaking, look to Dr. Sadie Allison, founder and CEO of Tickle Kitty, Inc., and ticklekitty.com.
Dr. Sadie is a leading authority on human sexuality today, and author of the award-winning bestsellers Tickle His Pickle, TOYGASMS! and Tickle Your Fancy. She appears frequently on TV and radio, including E! Entertainment Television, Talk Sex with Sue Johanson, Dr. Drew’s Loveline and the Bob & Tom Show. She is a sought-after speaker, and is often quoted in national magazines, such as Cosmopolitan, Redbook and Men’s Health.
She’s a Licensed Doctor of Human Sexuality, having earned her degree in 2005 from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. She’s also a member of the American Association ofSexEducators,Counselors&Therapists(AASECT). Her Tickle Kitty brand of sex-help books, sensual pleasure kits and sex lubricants enable her to assist more individuals and couples find greater joys in sexual pleasure.
Dr. Sadie was born, raised, and still resides in San Francisco, California, where she’s raising her beautiful daughter.