Rock Him (11 page)

Asher’s first evening alone with Ella since Maddy had come to stay with them would
be easy. He was standing in the foyer when Maddy arrived downstairs and he got a whiff
of her. Perfume. She didn’t ordinarily wear it and he wrinkled his nose. It was a
nice scent, lightly floral, but he preferred her usual, natural scent. Wait — he knew
what she usually smelled like?

Her hair fell in gentle waves past her shoulders, gleaming. A short mini-skirt hugged
her body and was topped off by a tight, lacy, gray-blue camisole peeking out from
the form fitting cashmere hoodie. Tall boots with a low heel completed the outfit.
He couldn’t keep the disapproval from his face.

“Something wrong?” Maddy asked as she approached him.

He shook his head.

Maddy twisted her fingers nervously.

“Asher, are you sure … ” her voice trailed off as she caught his expression and
she laughed.

“I know. I know. You can handle one five-year-old girl.” She smiled and his heart
rate doubled.

What was wrong with him?

Why did he keep having to remind himself she was off limits? He liked her for Christ’s
sake. More than that, he needed her. Ella loved her. The libido would stay in check.
There were plenty of women available to him, but Madeline Anderson was not one of
them.

“Have a great time. We will,” he said dismissively, turning on his heel.

He stalked into the kitchen where Ella was coloring at the table.

She looked up. “Has Maddy left?”

“She’s in the hallway.”

Ella scooted out of her chair and rushed to find her. The child returned moments later
smiling, resumed her seat and finished coloring her picture, singing to herself.

He opened the fridge to find his Coke and sitting on the top shelf was a plate with
plain chicken, brown rice and broccoli covered in plastic wrap, a note on top.

The note instructed him to zap the plate in the microwave for thirty seconds. He rolled
his eyes, grabbed the soda, poured it out into a glass sitting on the island and found
another note.

“Bedtime: eight
P.M.
”

He balled it up and considered setting the damn thing on fire. She didn’t give him
any credit. Then again, he
had
made a mess of things the first few weeks. He still wouldn’t win any parenting awards,
but he was improving. He didn’t need a series of notes coaching him.

“Ella, want to go out for dinner?”

Her eyes lit up. “Pizza?”

“Steak?”

She considered him. “With ketchup?”

“Ketchup,” he agreed, shuddering. It was criminal the way the child adulterated food.

He glanced at his watch. Almost six. They’d leave in a few minutes. He’d just brought
the soda to his lips when his phone rang. He inspected his screen. Ah, Spade’s new
producer. He’d been anticipating this call all day. “Ella, want to watch a show?”

He took the call as he set up the TV program for her in the living room.

When he finally got off the phone, he glanced at his watch again. Almost an hour had
passed. He collected Ella and her jacket, pulled on his own then snagged his keys
and phone. They were finally sitting down at the restaurant close to eight. Ella was
complaining and he remembered what Maddy had said about kids getting hungry so he
asked the waiter for some rolls.

The rolls arrived but one glance told him Ella wouldn’t eat them. They had seeds.
Her whining amplified. He stopped another server.

“Dude, got any plain rolls, bread …
anything
plain?”

“Something wrong with the rolls?” He picked up the basket and examined them.

Ella’s tears began and with them came the attention of most of the restaurant patrons.
He glanced up and caught glares from the well-coiffed older couple at the next table.
He scanned the room. No other kids. He was
that
guy now. The guy who tainted fine dining ambiance with a whiny kid.

He opened a sugar packet and leaned across the table to pour it in to Ella’s mouth.
Her tears dried up. Ah, the magic of sugar. He’d poured eight sugar packets into her
mouth by the time their food arrived. He pretended not to notice the withering looks
from the people sitting around him as the mountain of empty sugar packets grew in
front of him.

He was halfway through his meal when he noticed Ella pushing food around on her plate.
“I don’t like it.” Her eyes drooped a bit at the corners and he glanced at his watch.
Approaching nine. He set to finishing his meal, accompanied by the increased fretting
of his dinner companion. To quiet her down, he ordered a soda.

She sucked it down in a minute flat, giggled and belched, then groaned and gripped
her stomach. Belched again.

Fork halfway to his lips, he watched her mouth form a perfect O of surprise as a fountain
of Coke, sugar and bile spewed onto her shirt, plate and tablecloth.

Dropping his utensil, he moved to her side. She was sobbing uncontrollably. Jesus.
What a mess. He reached in his back pocket; pulled a few hundreds out of his money
clip to drop on the table; gathered the tiny, sticky, smelly, figure into his arms
and headed for the restaurant door.

Once home, he stripped off her clothes and put her in a warm bath. By the time she
was out and dressed in her pajamas, it was after ten and she could barely keep her
eyes open.

“Uncle Asher, stay with me,” she insisted sleepily, eyes listless with fatigue.

He stripped off his shirt, toed off his shoes and laid on top of the covers next to
her, listening to her suck her thumb, blanket in hand as she faded off into sleep.
He was aware of her warm body, snuggled in close, the strawberry scented shampoo,
the intermittent sucking noises. He closed his eyes, drowsy in the dark room, and
smiled. Ella brought out every protective instinct he had ever experienced and turned
it up to eleven. He thought he loved his sister’s child before, but that was nothing
compared to how much he loved her now. Not a day went by that he didn’t mourn the
loss of Dee, but lately, being with Ella erased some of the grief and brought solace.
He hadn’t realized how much one person could care for another until Ella came to stay.

• • •

Maddy arrived back at the house after midnight. Her friends had met her at a restaurant
near campus before heading out to a local bar to play darts and chat. She wasn’t forthcoming
about her new job — she’d confessed to quitting the coffee shop and taking a nanny
gig but gave no details. Her friends were trustworthy, but she didn’t want to spend
the evening answering questions about Asher Lowe.

Maddy crept up the stairs, finding her way in the darkness to Ella’s room. She pushed
the door open silently, her gaze taking in the sight on the bed: Ella curled up into
Asher’s shirtless, jean clad body, burrowed into his warmth. She moved into the room,
wrinkling her nose at the faint sour smell. Was that vomit?

Moving to the side of the bed, she stared down at Asher then bent over, sniffing him.
She pulled back slightly, her gaze traveling up his heavily muscled chest with its
light furring of brown hair, up the column of his neck, lingering on his strong jaw
line and perfectly shaped lips, examining those enviable cheekbones … she gasped.

His eyes were wide open, staring intently.

She drew herself up and moved back as he sat up, careful not to disturb Ella.

He gestured toward the door and Maddy tiptoed out of the room. He followed, pulling
the door shut behind him.

“Are you sick?” she whispered.

“No.” He turned toward his room.

She reached out to stop him, her fingers barely skimming his bare back. His smooth
skin radiated heat. He flinched and she pulled her hand away. He spun back to face
her, and she wasn’t familiar with the expression on his face but it looked pained.

“Is Ella okay?”

He nodded.

“Asher, were you drinking?”

He made a low sound, between a grunt and a groan, and didn’t meet her eyes. “No. I
haven’t been drinking. Yes, Ella threw up. Too much cola, too fast.”

She groaned inwardly. Really? She was pretty sure “soda” hadn’t been on the list she’d
left for him. For a smart guy, he was hitting some low notes in the parenting department.

“She’s fine. I promise.”

Her eyes narrowed.

He was hiding something and refusing to make eye contact.

She stepped closer, worried, and he finally raised his head, giving her a glimpse
of the hot longing in his eyes. She froze. An answering heat swept through her, triggering
a wave of dizziness.

He grunted and moved toward her, closing the gap in one stride.

Maddy stood rooted to the ground.

He yanked her into his arms with a growl and lowered his head. Leaning in, he licked
his way inside her mouth, devouring her.

Maddy had been kissed plenty. But this was more than a kiss. This was conflagration.
His lips and tongue were hotly demanding, and she answered his need with her own.
She moaned, a sound of lust mingled with frustration, muffled by his mouth. His grip
on her hips tightened and she became aware of his raging erection as it pressed, almost
painfully, against her belly. She squirmed, one hand threading through the thick,
satiny hair at his nape, the other pressing against his hips, wild to get closer.

It took her a few seconds to realize he was pulling away, pulling her from him. Shame
washed through her, heating her cheeks. What had she done?

He backed up two steps, hands up, palms facing her. “I’m sorry, Maddy. That was totally
inappropriate. I promise it won’t happen again.” He took another step back. Maddy
held a hand to her forehead, body rigid with humiliation. He’d practically had to
peel her off of him.
God.

“No,
I’m
sorry. I … I — ”

“Let’s just forget it, okay? It’s late, we’re tired.”

“Okay,” Maddy whispered. She stood, frozen in the middle of the hallway, until his
retreating back disappeared into his darkened bedroom.

• • •

Maddy closed her laptop after she sent her mother the email with her flight information
and Christmas plans. She had finished her final paper and hit the send button early
this morning. Graduation was just a technicality now.

It had been a week since that kiss in the hallway. No matter how hot he was, no matter
what her feelings toward him, he was her boss. The kiss, earthshaking as it was to
her, was probably an imperceptible tremor to him.

She rose from the kitchen table to prepare for the trek to the bus stop to collect
Ella when the sound of someone clomping down the stairs drew her attention. He’d been
home a lot more lately, in his study most of the day, on the phone or in virtual meetings.
Apparently, there was a lot more to being a successful rocker than just showing up
for recording sessions and tours.

“Asher.”

“Hey, Maddy, I thought I’d pick up Ella.” He fixed an assessing gaze on her.

She was getting used to his intense looks. Unfortunately, her feelings for him were
not limited to sexual interest. She loved watching his interplay with Ella. Even the
therapist had told Maddy this week that she’d noticed a perceptible change in their
relationship.

She’d had a chance to meet some of the band members and management team now that Asher
was working from home more. She had seen his charming manipulations as he conducted
business a handful of times. This megastar Asher was nothing like the Asher she knew.
Rock god Asher never lost his cool, even when the fine lines of tension around his
mouth illuminated his stress like a beacon. It disturbed her on some level that she
could read him so well, but what was more disturbing was the inner turmoil he created
in her. Living with him since that kiss created a dizzying mixture of lust and compassion.
Straight lust would be so much easier to squelch.

Maybe that was what Justin had been warning her about. Not the arrogant, charming
manipulative cad Asher was in public, but the oddly vulnerable, fascinating man he
was in private. If so, she was in deep trouble. It was no longer so easy to dismiss
him as a shallow playboy. This Christmas break away from him would be good for her,
though she dreaded the time away from Ella.

“Ok. I wanted to let you know about my travel plans … ” she trailed off at the look
on his face and bit her lip. His expression seemed lost, somehow. It would be lonely
for him and Ella without Dee and sharing the holiday with Sterling was out of the
question.

“Can you walk with me? I’d rather not discuss it around Ella,” he replied, looking
away.

“Sure.”

She preceded him through the door and down the steps. They walked down the long circular
driveway and Asher entered the gate code.

“I have plans to be gone for eight days.”

Asher sighed.

“I’ll leave the day before Christmas Eve, and be back two days after New Year’s.”
She met his eyes and twisted a strand of hair. “I’d hate for Emma to have a setback.
Promise you’ll call if she needs me?”

“Her therapist seems to think she can handle it. That reminds me, I upgraded your
phone.”

Maddy stopped walking, hands on her hips. “Damn it, Asher.”

He stopped and turned around, then held up a hand at the expression on her face.

“Your cell is ancient. I got you a phone like mine so Ella can see you while you’re
away.”

Oh. As long as it was for Ella’s sake. Still, the car, the phone. What was next? It
was uncomfortable having your life upgraded by the employer you had the hots for.
“I wish you’d just talk to me about this stuff. My mom has a computer we could use.”

“This is easier. We can use our phones.”

Reaching out he gave her hand a tug. “It’s just communication, Maddy.”

“It’s just another expense, Asher.”

He studied the sky, deliberately ignoring her.

“I know you don’t get it, Mr. I-have-a-gazillion-dollars, but all these expenses add
up, and it’s not necessary.”