Rock Me Slowly (8 page)

“Everything okay Josh?”

“Sophie I won’t be in a minute if you don’t stop that moan from your lips.”

His hands are so big and masculine and his fingers. God his fingers. I can feel the rough edge to them, no doubt from playing the guitar for so long. Josh works his way down to the nape of my neck and the action sends heat pooling in-between my legs. Josh doesn’t know it but that is one of my erogenous zones. I have to get him to move his hands back up to the top of my head otherwise I will be coming pretty soon, and that’s one thing I don’t want Josh to see yet.

“Um, Josh could you please just work on the top of my head please. You working on my nape makes me a little turned on and I don’t want to go there.” I’m embarrassed to admit it to him. I know that he will love that little bit of information, no doubt he will retain it for further reference.

“Oh, well little Sophie does get affected by me, who would of thought it?” The sarcastic bastard. He just loves making me insane with need. I’m really struggling to keep a hold of my control when I’m around him, all those little hip bumps, accidental touches and secret smiles have been chipping away at my control bit by bit.

“Attraction is too tame a word for what I feel for you.” There I have admitted how much I am drawn to him. Unlike his little groupies I’m attracted to the man not the image, not the music. I like the person underneath that tough exterior and boy, he is one hell of a man.

I’m really struggling to understand why people can be so vain as to think the guys would be interested in girls that only want them for their fame and money. If I so much as see a little skanky groupie hurt any one of these guys she will have me to contend with. I consider them family and I will fucking rip their cheap little hair extensions right out of their scalp.

Ha who would have guessed that I was the violent type!

“Sophie won’t you reconsider how this is going to go down? I really want you.” Josh kneels right beside me next to the tub and gazes adoringly at me. “I really want to fuck you. Your pussy is like a siren, it keeps on calling me.” He grabs my hand and places it upon his crotch. He is as hard as stone and I can feel my mouth begin to water.

“Let me give you this pleasure. Lets get this thing out of our system.”

Josh moves up to his feet and brushes down his jeans and lays the sweetest kiss on my forehead before turning to leave the bathroom. Not so fast buster!

I feel something much stronger than lust for him, but right now I want nothing more than to experience a connection with him.

“Okay Josh.” What was left of my self control has evaporated.

“Okay? Really?” Josh seems incredulous.

“Yes please fuck me Josh.” I cant believe I’m saying this.

“You won’t regret this baby.” Oh, I have a feeling I will.

I feel something for Josh on an emotional level, I know its not returned but, I will take him whatever way I can get him.

“Oh, Sophie we are going to be awesome together just you wait and see. I’m going to fuck you so damn hard you will forget your own damn name.” With that Josh lifts me straight out of the tub and places me on my feet gently. He admires my body, taking every single curve in and smiling lasciviously making his intent perfectly clear. He places both his hands on either side of my face and gently strokes my cheekbones. It suggests something a little more than lust but I put it to the back of my mind.

“So damn beautiful.” Josh says this whilst looking into my eyes and I can’t help but be drawn into his stunning brown ones, smooth like chocolate. Out of nowhere his mouth is on mine and my legs almost give out at the intense contact. All the while, Josh keeps a firm grip of my shoulders whilst seeking an entrance into my mouth. I willingly open to him and our tongues meet for the first time and it’s the most intense kiss I have ever experienced in my sexual history.

The kiss gets more intense and vicious and I reach up and grab his hair with a full fist and pull hard but Josh doesn’t miss a beat. We both pull apart at the same moment. Both of us must look equally as shocked at the intensity of our passion for one another. I must look a state, I’m bound to have bruised lips and lust filled eyes but right now I don’t care.

“Wow.” Josh utters the word but looks deep in thought. Just when I think he is going to take me, he pulls away from me and grabs my robe. He wraps it around me reverentially and kisses me on the forehead once more.

Just as I thought we were finally getting intimate after me dismissing the issue of my job, he turns away from me and walks out of the bathroom with not another word.

I had to get out of that bathroom after that fucking kiss. It was explosive. Her lips tasted so damn soft and full. I could feel her melting under my touch and it took everything inside of me not to pick her up and have my way with her against the wall. I have kissed literally thousands of girls and bedded pretty much the same but I have never in all my life felt anything like that. The pure intensity of it has me wanting to explode in my pants; I never thought it was possible to nearly come just from a kiss.

A kiss, fuck it felt more than that, that is exactly the reason why I had to get out of that bathroom as soon as possible. I couldn’t fucking breathe, what the hell am I getting involved with here? I want her but I’m so confused about my feelings about everything. I have never been the type of guy that wants to cuddle after fucking. I fuck until I orgasm then I either leave them or I chuck the girl out. I sound like a complete douche, but hell I can’t deal with that kind of deep emotional bearing of the souls, it’s just too personal. Sex has never been anything more than a means to an end for me. I blame my fucking mother for me having that outlook. She was a heartless bitch that never showed me one ounce of love and now I have turned into the one thing that I never wanted to become, a detached and soulless prick.

I head back into the entertainment room and pour myself a large bourbon to try and calm myself down. How could I have not noticed the signs, this is more than an attraction that I’m feeling for Sophie. I really don’t want to admit it, but I think I’m falling for her and hard. That is exactly the reason why I can’t let it go any further.

Fuck I sound like a damned hypocrite. I fucking chased her and hounded her until she admitted she felt something for me and now I’m the one backing away from her!

I rake my hands through my longish hair and brace myself against the wall. The only thing that I will end up doing to Sophie is hurting her. One way or another I will break her fucking heart into a million different pieces and there will be no way she would be able to repair it. I’m hurting myself in the process but Sophie is my main concern. I don’t know how I’m going to be able to stomach seeing her being touched by another man but I’m doing it for her. The last thing I want to see is Sophie heartbroken and ruined for other men.

I notice that Mickey is still up and watching me curiously. Of all the guys to have watched my meltdown of sorts, it had to be Mickey. Mickey and I have a love/hate relationship, I love him he hates me. He hates me for taking a one night stand away from him a year ago. Seriously, that dude needs to lighten up. It’s not as if the one nighter would have even led to anything. Mickey just fucks then leaves, I just happened to do it first. I could totally understand it if I had took his girlfriend. In fact, I think I did the guy a favour she was a shit lay. She had absolutely no idea what the hell she was doing. I would actually doubt if she was over nineteen. Yet he still won’t let the subject drop. He’s like a god damned woman bitching 24/7 about the one that got away. Please, give me a fucking break.

“Well Josh looks like you are getting pretty flustered over little Sophie, aint ya?” Mickey says sardonically and I have to grit my teeth together to stop me from lashing out at him. This is one woman he can keep his grubby hands off of. It is besides the point that I’m not claiming Sophie for myself, but I will step into the seventh circle of hell before I let Mickey have her.

“Mickey, go fuck yourself.” Words can’t actually express how amazing Sophie is, none of us deserve her. Sophie deserves the very best of everything and not one of us here can give her that.

“It looks to me that you are very attracted to her Joshie boy. Maybe you even have strong feelings for her. Am I right? Because if I am then I just may be inclined to make your little union harder for you to achieve. I will never forget what you did to me last year. I get on with it for the bands sake but you my friend, your card is marked.” Who the fuck does he think he is talking to? She was a fucking skank; you couldn’t even put her in the same room as Sophie let alone breathe the same air as her.

“Mickey, I so wouldn’t go there if I were you. Don’t you even dare tread on my toes with Sophie; you have no idea what I’m feeling for her. I can’t breathe when I’m away from her but still I was the bigger man and have decided to leave her alone. I’m not what she needs. She may think I am but in the end I’ll end up hurting her just like I hurt everyone else. She doesn’t need the likes of us fucking up her life.” The thought of doing this tears me apart. I really want her but what would be the use. I would rather I was miserable than Sophie. She deserves so much better.

“You have suddenly decided that you don’t want to chase after Sophie anymore, so in my book that means that she’s fair game to the rest of us, right? Just remember Josh if you’re having a go at Sophie then I’m totally getting a piece too. What’s yours is mine and what’s mine is yours. Isn’t that how it worked the last time? I’m going to claim that sweet ass of hers.” Mickey smirks knowingly. I want to knock his teeth down his throat.

“That tight fucking body would just be amazing straddling my cock while I pound into her. Can you just imagine her little expressions as I drive her wild with every stroke, while she rakes her fingernails all over my body. You heard her she’s a sucker for bad boys; I’ll let her suck a bad boy if she really wants.” That’s it I can’t take any more of his bullshit. If I see him even so much as touch a hair on Sophie’s head Mickey and I are going to have a problem.

“I swear to god Mickey you lay one hand on her and I’ll beat the shit out of you.” I edge up to stand face to face with Mickey so that he is under no illusion about the seriousness of this situation.

“Sorry pretty boy, you don’t intimidate me and that is exactly what I intend to do. What’s more I’m going to do it whilst you are in the tour bus; I’m going to make her scream so hard the whole bus will hear it.” With a smug grin he starts to walk away from me, but there is no way in hell that this is over. I grab him by the shirt and yank him back to face me. I make no bones about my intentions.

“You.will.not.touch.Sophie. if I see you even so much as look at her this is over, done. You will be in the nearest medical facility with your ass handed to you.” I’m very mad right now and I’m a hairsbreadth away from losing it completely.

“Game. On.” Mickey is goading me and it’s all it takes for me to lose it. With a snarl from deep within my chest I pounce on him and start viciously beating him. I land blow after blow to his face watching his much loved aviator sunglasses fly from his face. This makes me laugh inwardly at his shocked expression.

Yeah you were not expecting that, cocksucker.

I keep landing the punches until suddenly I feel a hand grab a fistful of my t-shirt. I spin around only to see Sophie grab me; I immediately soften at her solemn features. The last thing I want to do is upset her so I drag my sorry ass away from Mickey’s rigid body and stand to face her. Mickey rubs his bloodied face with the palm of his hand and curses at the blood.

“You fucking moron, look at the state of me.” Mickey is seething with rage and it takes all my control not to jump back on top of him and finish off the job.

“Josh leave him alone. He is a douche that is looking to pick fights, don’t rise to the bait.” Sophie speaks sense but he just got me so damn angry. I would happily knock his teeth straight down his damn throat.

“Charming, don’t you realise I’m hurt, Sophie. Maybe you should kiss it better for me.”

I spin my head around fiercely to face him ready to go at it again. Sophie places her hand on my cheek and challenges me to look into her eyes. It hurts to do so.

“Don’t worry your face will heal. I don’t know what has exactly gone on between you and Josh but stop picking fights with him. I know Josh wouldn’t have hurt you if you didn’t deserve it.” Sophie says sardonically without actually looking at Mickey. I just hope to hell that she didn’t actually hear the exchange.

Already I can see the hurt and pain in her eyes, the one thing I didn’t want to do, I have already done. She let her guard down and I stamped all over her heart. It doesn’t matter if it was intentional or not.

Sophie

I really can’t be sure what is going through Josh’s head right now. One minute he is burning up in flames with his lust and passion for me, the next minute he is rejecting me and starting a fight with Mickey. Why would he even do that? I thought the band was tight and nothing could come between them, so what was that scene out there that I had to break up? I hope there’s not something deeper going on between them because I know for a fact that they couldn’t have been fighting about me. Could they?

The scene that transpired in the bathroom between Josh and I has me totally confused. For days now he has been flirting with me, sharing seductive glances across the room, bumping hips when no one was looking and even some very sweet gestures like helping me take my make up off at night. He has really proven to me that he can be sweet and almost loving when the mood strikes him. I’m beginning to think that there is a hidden depth to Josh’s character that not many people have had the privilege of seeing. I want to know more about the man behind the image. I know that something has happened in his past to make him closed off to the world. He has such a fuck the world attitude. Something is very amiss with him. It’s almost like he doesn’t know how to trust anyone, and it hurts me to think of him hurting in some way.