Rock My Heart (20 page)

“That’ll be the day,” she sneered before she smiled coolly. “Unlike you, Jaden is very loyal and that guinea bitch never had a chance to begin with so what exactly are you trying to accomplish? They had a kid together—boo fucking hoo. He was lonely and has needs…something you would know a thing or two about since you were happy enough to spend some quality time with me. Don’t fuck with me, Kaz, or you’ll get the horns.”

She tried to snatch her arm out of his grasp but he only applied more pressure. “No, you fucking junkie whore—don’t
you
fuck with
me
or I will have no qualms about getting Dizzy involved. You think you’re in charge of this situation? You don’t have one iota of control and we both know it. I make a phone call and you’re fucking
dead
.”

Faith scrunched up her face in disbelief. “Baby, you don’t have the balls to have me killed. And yeah, I know you’ve done it before…legend has it you murdered someone yourself but you were protecting a woman’s honor so why should I believe you would have me
murdered
just because Jaden happens to be in love with me? If he wanted to be with Talia then he would be…
some
people don’t
want
to go back just because they are afraid to get old by themselves.”

Kaz was tired of arguing with her and had reached just about the end of his patience. “How do you envision your situation ending? Do you see the two of you getting married? It’ll never happen. Dizzy has already nipped that in the bud because he has told Jaden if he marries you, he has to come back to the club as a full member. Are you used to snowy conditions and livin’ in a small podunk down with fuck all to do? Because that is where you’re headed if you two get together. You will be an old lady in a den of vipers who can’t stand the sight of you and it won’t be pretty. Why don’t you fuck off while you still have the chance? Rumor has it Seth is available. I heard you two were pretty cozy together at Promises. No one believes that lie about you losing the baby and everyone knows you had an abortion.

“But if you want Jaden that bad, believe me it ain’t gonna be easy for you. I would think it’d be too intense for your rich girl blood and face it, sweetheart, he would
never
leave the band. Not for you or anyone else, you silly little tart. If that’s what you want just to prove you can one up Talia then so be it. I don’t think she cares that much since she’s too busy with her superstar career. And what is it you do again? Oh yeah…jack shit because you’re too stupid to do anything with your life at all except party and shop.”

He leaned in close to her and said, “But just know this. You will make his life miserable and he will grow to hate you for taking him away from Scarlet Fever. He will see the woman he is in love with as she soars to super-stardom and he will be a nobody, just another member of a motorcycle club going nowhere fast and doin’ what he has to do to survive. You really think he is going to thank you for that? Then again…I know my brother and once I erase you out of the picture, you won’t even be a memory for him.”

Faith’s smile slipped and she no longer smirked either. She simply snatched her hand from his loosened grasp and walked off in a huff.

He could give less than two shits whether he hurt her feelings or not. She was poison and a toxic asset Jaden needed to rid himself of if he planned to see his thirties in one piece.

“Why the fuck did you do that?” Jaden questioned as soon as she’d left the arena.

“You know why and don’t you
ever
get snippy with me, little brother. At the end of the day, this is my fucking band and if you don’t like it, you can leave. The
only
reason you’re still around is because I need to make sure you are giving Talia child support—”

“Why? She obviously doesn’t need the money—”

“It’s the fucking principle, Jaden…for fuck’s sake, when’s the last time you have even
seen
Kaelan? Unfortunately, that poor kid is the spit image of you except he has the Cox family’s blue eyes instead of your amber eyes inherited from your mother. He is a beautiful and happy baby and what he
doesn’t
deserve is a father like you. I hate Talia allowed you to fuck her and I despise the fact you did this shit on purpose and now can’t be man enough to take responsibility for what you’ve done.

“You’re a weak and selfish son of a bitch who only cares about himself and I am supposed to feel sorry for you? Fuck you and that silly junkie bitch you seem to love more than your own flesh and blood. I’m ashamed to call you my brother and as far as I am concerned, you and that ho you call your girlfriend can stay the fuck away from my wedding.”

Kaz knew he’d hurt his brother deeper than he’d ever hurt him before. They’d always been best friends and half-brothers. Before Talia and Syd had entered their lives, it’d always been a “bros before hos” mentality but that was before he’d known what real love was and he would never choose his family before Jaden or anyone else because Sydney, Baby Kaz and Xander
were
his family.

It was the logic he
thought
his brother would adopt because Kaelan was his first born but instead, he’d still chosen a woman he’d had a love/hate relationship with for over two years instead of the woman he was truly in love with and his own son. Jaden made him feel like he’d been dropped into a bad episode of the
Jerry Springer
show and he was far from pleased with how his brother was acting. It had gotten to the point where he had to choose sides and Talia was more important than Jaden because she was the mother of his nephew.

Despite being a rocker, the woman was the epitome of a good mother. She breastfed and had an excellent nanny but when she was home, she did most of the work as far as Kaelan was concerned. She worked hard but her partying days weren’t nearly as hardcore as they could have been. Kaelan was her world and he supported her decision to seek sole custody of her son with Jaden getting a supervised visitation two weekends per month.

“You two done playin’ ‘who’s got the bigger dick?’ so we can practice?” Will questioned calmly as he tuned his bass.

Kaz walked away and made his way to the microphone. “From the top, boys, ‘Filthy Kinda Love’.”

Despite being angry, Jaden played his guitar on cue followed by the drums Grant played with precision and a sexual low strum of the bass from Will. The problems between he and his brother were buried under the music they created and Kaz sang into the mic, hoping that one day soon, Jaden might see the error of his ways before it was too late.

He’d come extremely close to losing Sydney but something deep down told him Talia wouldn’t be nearly as forgiving to Jaden as Syd had been to him.

Chapter Nineteen

Holiday Treat

TIME FLIES WHEN one is in Vegas and having a lot of fun and I was no exception to this phenomenon. I’d settled comfortably into my new life with Kaz, which was split between our home in Summerlin when he was performing and our McMansion at Lake Las Vegas when he wasn’t.

We grew to love both houses but I still had a special affinity for our Summerlin home because we were near Jerrica and Paul, Laurel and Will, and Sasha and Grant. My days weren’t so boring since I began to work at Jerrica’s gallery, Maison des Artistries, and she in turn, helped me with planning all the charity work I hosted. It was nice to know she didn’t mind having her gallery be a part of what I truly believed in and I adored her for understanding my vision. It also felt good to be more than just a rocker’s fiancée with too much time on my hands, loads of money and nothing to do but shop.

I knew that would never be me because it wasn’t possible for me to go back to that spoiled, selfish young woman ever again. I’d traveled the world and now I truly wanted to make a difference instead of spending money I’d inherited without doing a finger to help earn it.

Kaz and I fell into a familiar routine where we would spend time together on his day’s off with our son and I would make dinner. I’d learned to become a fantastic cook with Talia’s help and a little aid from the French chef we employed.

On nights he worked, my days were still busy, either spent with Jerrica and her boys or arranging yet another event for my charity which I’d named after our son, the Kasper Landvik-Gillian Red Foundation. Although my primary reason for opening the charity had been to help eradicate and find a cure for HIV and AIDS, I also heavily supported breast, ovarian and uterine cancer research along with substantial donations to Planned Parenthood.

Before I knew it, we were less than four days away from Christmas when I received a surprising phone call from Talia. Though we no longer lived in the same neighborhood, she was still my very best friend. I still loved Laurel with all my heart but like me, the tour had grown her up as well. She was now the official band photographer and because of her job, she kept similar hours as the band. We still made it a habit of getting together for lunch at least three times a week—Sasha and Jerrica included—to catch up on gossip.

However, I could truly say that no one knew me and understood me like Talia and it was the same when it came to me about her. Every secret she’d shared with her other best friend, Jerrica, she’d shared with me. I knew about the abortion she had to endure in college and why she viewed Kaelan as a gift from God. I also knew about her relationship with Seth, from its sweet, heart-felt beginnings to the bitter conclusion.

Jaden was still an open wound for her and because I still knew she loved him very much, I made it a habit to avoid talking about him at all costs. I hated what he was doing to her and his son and I had absolutely no love loss for Faith. She’d become enemy number one in my book and I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to forgive her for what she’d done.

Despite my love for Kaz and the wonderful time we spent together as a family, I was ecstatic when I spoke on the phone to Talia and she agreed to spend the holidays with us. Though she had family back east, she had no plans to fly there and her cousin, Trista, was spending the holidays with her husband after a rather tragic year for the two of them.

Talia was reluctant to go into what had happened between Trista and Linx and but she did make it clear it had nothing to do with the solidity of their relationship and all their issues had been external, not internal.

We stood in the kitchen together as we made a batch a gingerbread and cinnamon short bread cookies. Both of us had mugs of mulled wine and Kaz had a concert that night—his last before the huge New Year’s Eve bash Vogue Hotel and Casino was hosting.

Not only would Scarlet Fever perform but Winter’s Regret, Chyna Bleu, Damian Phillips, a white neo-soul superstar who seemed to channel Robin Thicke and Justin Timberlake with the vast popularity and pretty boy looks of Justin Bieber if he was blond and in his late twenties. There was also talk of the new
Talented Voices
winner, Gemma Hughes, performing as well so it was definitely one of the New Year’s Eve parties that had sold out months in advance and guaranteed mega-wattage among the guests as well as the listed performing acts.

“Can you believe how fast this year has gone by?” Talia questioned as I removed the first set of cookies and prepared the next batch. The following day was Christmas Eve and I planned to make a Red Velvet cake though Jacques, our chef, was trying to talk me out of it because he wanted to make it.

“Yeah, I know but I can’t say I’m sad to see it go.” We settled in the sitting room on the comfortable L-shaped chocolate brown plush sofa with a view of the backyard in Summerlin.

Our home was only three thousand square feet but we still had a gorgeous backyard, a pool, spa and professional desert landscaping replete with a professional barbeque grill installed outside.

Talia sipped from her mulled wine. “Well, you won’t hear any arguments from me there. I mean, I had a phenomenal year professionally and I have been blessed far beyond my wildest dreams but…my personal life well and truly sucks.”

“Have you given it a thought about maybe giving Seth another chance?” I swigged from my mulled wine, if only to prevent anything else ridiculously stupid from leaving my mouth.

“That can’t happen.” Talia shrugged apathetic shoulders. “Apparently he’s going out with that chick who just won
Talented Voices
but I don’t see that lasting very long with her being a
Hughes
and all.”

I paused mid-sip and looked at my best friend. “Wait a minute…I thought Keren only had one sister and she was a lawyer and ginger-haired like Keren herself? Gemma is only twenty years old, blonde and blue-eyed. Are you telling me Jonesy is like Dizzy with illegitimate children all over the place?”

“Nah, Jonesy isn’t like that. He’s actually in love with his wife and the only children they’ve had have all been legitimate. Gemma is his niece though he practically raised her. Her mother is Jonesy’s sister and she still lives in Wales. Gemma started giving her problems around the age of seven or eight and she would be sent to stay with her uncle Jonesy for the summers. She did this on and off until she finished secondary school in the UK and moved to Birch Tree when she was eighteen. Trista knows her pretty well since they saw each other at the club on a fairly regular basis. She told me Gemma is extremely wise for her age but that doesn’t exactly give me any solace now that she is boning my ex-boyfriend—”

“Yes, but a boyfriend who you dumped shortly after he got out of rehab and one you are not interested in any longer. Truly, what difference does it make whether they are going out? It’s none of our business.” I sipped from my warm beverage, which was starting to have its affect.

I loved the holiday season because it was a good excuse for having a drink in the afternoons without feeling like a lush.

“Not necessarily or did you forget I have to work with my ex on a daily basis? He’s still pissed at me for taking the spotlight away from him and he’s extremely upset my versions of the first two Winter’s Regret albums sold three times as much as his versions. It makes no difference Introspect pulled the versions so they are now collector’s items and highly coveted. One guy sold his copy on eBay for ten thousand dollars last week because it was autographed by the band.” Talia set her mug down on the coffee table and the coaster provided before she ran her fingers through her dark brown hair laced with deep red streaks.

“Well, that’s not your fault. It’s not like you made him OD on tour and cost him his job—he did that to himself.”

“Yeah, he did…but I didn’t exactly make it easy on him, flaunting my affair with Jaden in his face either. Maybe what I am going through is just desserts. I treated someone like dirt and used them until they were no longer any good for me and now I am just getting back what I put out.”

“I don’t believe that…” I trailed off as I heard the front door open and close.

“I thought you said they had a concert tonight?” Talia’s pale green eyes were less than amused.

“They do but it’s still early. They weren’t going to stay at the arena when they can just come home.”

Kaz and Jaden spoke to one another but all conversation ceased the moment he saw Talia.

My fiancé winked at me before he said, “Babe, can I speak to you in private?”

I stood up in a flash and followed him upstairs to our bedroom. I didn’t exactly find what he’d done charming or cute to say the least—Christmas time or not. It was downright awful and I would hate for Talia to think I was in on this ruse. I didn’t want Jaden to hurt her any more than he’d already had.

Before I could get a word out, Kaz shut the doors and embraced me around my waist. “I’ve missed you, babe. I just wanted to come home and do this to you all day. I hope you don’t hate me.”

My arms wrapped around his neck and I smiled. “No, I don’t hate you for this but…why did you bring
him
around? I thought you told me he couldn’t come to the wedding?”

Kaz rolled his eyes. “You know I can’t stay mad at Jaden for long. The poor man is confused, baby, and I am only so happy I have never been in his position. He’s in love with Talia but he’s genuinely scared about what Faith might do if they break up—”

“You know what I’m tired of? I’m sick of you making excuses for the bastard. Does he really think Faith is going to kill herself over him? She’ll have someone else in a week because that’s just the kind of person she is. He should have never started up with her again in the first place—rehab or no rehab.”

My fiancé stared at me with clear aquamarine eyes and they were deeply troubled and laden with fear. “No, not about that. That incident where a man died and it was by my hands…Faith knows about it. Jaden didn’t tell her everything but she isn’t stupid. She hired a private investigator and got all the details on her own. She could seriously damage the club with what she has and Dizzy would rather see her dead first. Do you now understand why he hasn’t left her yet?”

I sat down on the bed as a wave of nausea passed over me. “The club? What about Scarlet Fever? Your
career
and the band all of you have worked so hard to achieve? She knows enough to get you sent to prison for Christ’s sake. God, Kaz, this is really bad and she doesn’t know she’s playing with fire.”

“Are you feeling okay?” He sat next to me and wrapped an arm around my waist before he pulled me closer. “We don’t have to worry about Kasper having another little brother or sister, do we?”

“Well, since you brought it up, no, we don’t. For one, I am breastfeeding and it is highly unlikely I can get pregnant while doing so, especially in the first year. Not that it hasn’t happened but I don’t get my periods and therefore, I’m not producing any eggs for my body to get rid of every month…yet.”