My hands groped for him, needing something to hold onto. I gripped his shoulders and moaned, rubbing my thighs together in a pointless attempt to control the deep pleasure and moisture building inside me.
Joe lifted his head finally, and smiled before leaning down to nip at my neck as the cool air hit my breasts, tingling from his delightful ministration.
"I need you," I whispered.
"You have me." He slid a finger across my cheek, staring into my eyes, and then moved back to look down my body. "Panties off," he ordered, eyes hooded with desire.
I stepped out of my underwear and kicked the pile of my garments out of the way. Joe stripped down too, shoving at his clothes like a man afire. And from the look in his clear blue eyes that's exactly what he was.
Naked together, we both took a moment to scan each other's bodies. I stood under his heated gaze and thought back to when such close inspection would have embarrassed me. But for all I doubted about myself and our relationship, I'd come to trust Joe's appreciation of my curves completely. The things I saw as flaws he loved. The round softness that annoyed me aroused him immensely.
And speaking of immense, below the lean strength of his arms and torso, bobbing in the air, was the proof of how much he wanted me. Like satin-wrapped steel his thick shaft called out to me and I answered, curling my fingers along the swollen length of him.
Joe hissed with pleasure as my cold hands touched his hot, throbbing skin.
"Turn around," he said through gritted teeth.
I started to speak but he gripped my hips and spun me so I was facing the door, my eyes almost touching the map of the floor's emergency exits.
Joe stepped up close to me, nestling his erection between my legs, adding his own heat to the furnace of desire that burned there. He reached around the front of me with both hands, sending one to tease my nipples and the other down to explore me.
I gasped as his fingers slid over my slickness, grazing the tiny bundle of nerves, pausing to savor my quiver of excitement.
"Oh babe. Look at you. So ready for me." He paused to roll on a condom and caressed me teasingly.
"Yes. Yes." Every part of me was electrified, waiting.
His hands moved to my back, bending me slightly as he pushed inside, adjusting the angle to allow his thickness to slide and stretch me.
My forehead bumped the wall as he entered my clutching core, sheathing himself completely. Breathless, I twisted my neck, needing to see him.
Joe leaned close and kissed me, and then started to slide his hips away. He thrust in and out of me swiftly, smoothly, searing every bit of my channel with his member.
Soon my body started shaking, every never-ending jumping and straining to join in the ecstasy. My breasts bounced against the door, punctuating each stroke with a soft thud.
Joe moved faster and faster, sliding a finger over my clit again, drawing tiny circles of intensity that provided the last bit of stimulation I needed to send me over the edge of dizzy release. I cried out and he just went faster, deeper, forcing the glorious explosion from my body.
When I could breathe and speak again, all I said was "Bed."
He laughed and slid out of me, turning me around and leading me over, holding my arm as my shaky legs barely made the trip.
We fell and rolled to the middle of the bed. Joe pulled me astride him and I sank down onto him, rising and falling slowly, savoring the gentle friction of flesh against flesh.
I looked down, hair falling into my eyes, marveling at the beauty of the man below me. His gaze remained trained on mine as his hands roamed my body, caressing and squeezing, heightening the pleasure. At the touch of his calloused fingertips I bit my lower lip, feeling another orgasm forming at the eye of the storm inside me.
Joe arched up against me, but disappointed with the result he grunted, gripped my hips and flipped us over, not missing a single stroke.
I giggled half-hysterically and wrapped my arms around his neck. He drove inside deeper, over and over, speeding up the rhythm. I lifted my hips to meet each thrust, fingers trailing over the sweat-dampened skin of his back where his muscles flexed.
As our bodies parried and retreated in perfect harmony I wondered why I could have ever denied myself this. In that moment the world was perfect and beautiful, and our passionate coupling was worth any risk, any price.
"God, yes," I said as waves of ecstasy rolled through me and crashed hard, shattering only to reform and start again. This time our eyes locked and we came together in every sense of the words, orgasmically and emotionally.
Joe's hips jerked and my body clenched, holding onto the moment of release, an eternity of pleasure in just an instant of time.
After it ended he collapsed down onto me, his heart thundering in his chest, breathing hard into my ear. We held each other wordlessly, exhausted but invigorated. Eventually Joe lifted himself up on one elbow and looked down at me, smiling.
"As gorgeous as you always are, you're never more beautiful than this, Liss."
"You mean sweaty and blotchy?"
He caressed the side of my face with the back of his hand. "I mean sated and sleepy, worn out from making love with me."
"Mmm. It does feel good."
"Like you're where you belong. Safe and adored."
"Yeah." I tugged him down next to me and snuggled in close. "Exactly like that."
"Good." He sighed, content, and wrapped his arms around me.
I fell asleep there in his arms, deep and dreamless the whole night. It was the best rest I'd had since the last time we shared a bed, a fact I was scared to admit, and unwilling to acknowledge.
"Please tell me you're not sneaking out again."
Joe's voice, rough and deep with sleep stopped me in my tracks, bent over wrapped in a sheet, struggling to find my clothes without turning on a light.
"No, I was just trying not to wake you."
"Yeah, right." He flicked on the bedside lamp and I blinked a few times. "Liss, sit down. Talk to me."
I looked over at him and my breath caught. God, he was beautiful. His skin was tanned down to his slim hips that disappeared under the sheet, drawing my eye along the long lines of him, making me forget what I was going to say or do.
"Come on, don't do this." His blue eyes twinkled as he smiled. "You'll give me insecurities."
I laughed and sat back down on the bed. "Oh sure."
"Okay, maybe not. But I do want to talk. And drink coffee. We need a lot of coffee."
"I believe that's what got me up here in the first place last night."
He grinned. "Yeah, but this time I mean it."
"Okay. You order some while I get dressed." I pulled the sheet tighter under my arms and stood up, having spotted my dress over by the door.
"Why bother? We can have a conversation naked."
"No," I said, looking over my shoulder at him, "We can't."
He grumbled a little, but soon stopped to call room service and order the coffee. I gathered the rest of my clothes from the floor and slipped into the bathroom.
By the time I was done a tray of coffee and pastries sat next to the bed and Joe was digging in to both. He looked so content and familiar that I wanted to just curl up next to him and spend the day in bed.
But a glance at the clock reminded me I had things to do, and then that this wasn't my life anymore. Joe wasn't mine to curl up with.
"You're not going to have anything?"
"Nah. I need to get going."
"Why?" He put his mug down and looked at me. "What's so important that you can't have a little breakfast?"
"I need to go home and change for class."
"Oh."
"Joe, look," I said, fiddling with the strap of my dress. "Last night was…"
"Amazing."
"Yes. And-"
"Passionate."
"Of course. But also-"
"Exactly what we both needed and wanted."
I sighed, exasperated. "Maybe. But it was also a mistake."
His eyes narrowed. "How can you say that?"
"Because it's too much. Too confusing and the last thing I need right now is confusion. One night of sex – no matter how incredible – doesn't solve our problems."
"Neither does running away."
"I'm not running. I'm just leaving."
"For how long? Is this the last time I'll ever see you?"
"No." I looked down at the floor, unable to meet his intense gaze. "I don't know."
"That's not very comforting."
"I'm sorry. But I-I just can't deal with this right now. I have to go."
"Fine." He stood up and came over to me, placing his hands on my shoulders. "But understand one thing, Liss. You've walked out on me time and time again. And I've let you, and forgiven you, and asked you back. I won't do it again."
I slapped his hands away and backed towards the door. "Don't treat me like a disobedient pet, Joe."
"I'm not. I'm treating you like a girl who's been stomping all over my heart for months. You go on and on about what
you
can't deal with. What
you
can't handle. Well this is what
I
can't handle. Stop running away from me."
Tears stung my eyes at his words. Not of anger, but shame. Because he was right. For all my fears, Joe had never done anything to indicate he didn't want me. But I'd fled from him more than a few times, and I was doing it again.
I didn't know how to explain. Didn't know the words to use to tell him what I was afraid of. Getting lost in him. Getting lost in us. I had never been in any situation remotely like this one and I had no idea what to do. It was all too much.
We
were too much. And so, like the love-sick coward I was, I apologized and left again.
~*~
If it hadn't been for Kelly's class, I probably would have stayed in bed all day feeling sorry for myself. But the room full of spirited discussion drew me out of my funk and I let Joe and my sadness fade to the back of my mind for a while.
After class Kelly and I talked to the teacher about possible assignments for me. Doug, as he reminded me to call him, suggested a few projects that would familiarize me with the process of researching the history of topics that interested me and incorporating that with interviews to develop articles. I had dozens of ideas even as we talked, and couldn't wait to get started. Kelly went with me to the library and checked out a few old text books that she thought might help. And I was more than happy for the help because the huge building intimidated me. From the central area to the snaking hallways and stacks of books, groups of people of all ages studied and read. Still gawking I took the pile of stuff we'd found, struggling to keep from dropping it all in the street. I had a long list of terminology and methods to read up on, so I headed right home.
Within a few hours I knew what my first project would be: a feature article about the diner. It could touch on the history of the place and the neighborhood, and I'd have all the insider information I could ever want from Darrell and some of the others who'd worked there for a long time.
Excited, I started taking notes and jotting down questions and points to research, and before I knew it I was nodding off and it was well past time to go to bed. I fell asleep for the first time in a while with thoughts of my project filling my mind, instead of memories of Joe.
The next day I went into work early to approach Darrell about the article. He loved the idea and gave a list of former employees to contact as well as some juicy tidbits to research. I floated through my shift, happy but barely noticing the customers or my coworkers. Even a brief visit from Darrell's horrible daughter failed to shake my good mood, though she did try.
I called Kelly on my way home and asked her to meet me at the library. I wasn't planning on checking anything out but I still felt weird wandering through the college library by myself, as if someone would scream "Fraud!" and chase me out of there with rabid dogs. That was silly, of course. No one would bring rabid dogs with them to scare a trespasser.
Kelly laughed a little too loud for the quiet reading room when I shared my irrational fear with her. A table full of very serious students glared at us before going back to their stacks of books.
"See," I said in a whisper, "They're the one who'll report me. Then before you know it I'm sprinting across campus with foaming canines on my heels."
"You're insane." She stifled a series of giggles by holding both hands over her mouth.
"Just wait, you'll see. And you know my fat ass can't run fast so I'll be dead in seconds."
Something between a laugh and a sob burst from her and she hurried from the room, shaking. I glared right back at the same disapproving table and bared my teeth with a soft growl but then had to hide my own face to keep from exploding.
There, red faced and half out of my mind, is how Zach found me. He strolled over with a confused look on his face and a stack of books under his arm.
"Was that Kelly I saw running outside?"
I choked out a "Yes," but couldn't manage any more.
"What's going on with you too? The library is not that interesting.
"Nothing," I said after a few deep breaths. "Just a stupid joke."
"Got it. You know, you have a beautiful smile, Liss."
"I…" My first instinct was to disagree or make a sarcastic comment, but I fought it off. "Thanks."
"You're welcome. Mind if I join you?"
"Of course. It's your library more than mine."
"Good point. Then move over." He plopped his books down in front of me and elbowed me lightly with a smile. "What are you working on?"
I explained the project and he seemed genuinely interested. At some point Kelly reappeared, having composed herself. Together they helped me figure out a schedule and approach for the article and even found some more books for me to look at.
After an hour or so I went to a nearby bank of computers to review old newspaper articles. I printed a bunch out using Kelly's student account, including a story that showed a picture of a young Darrell standing in front of the diner with a very cute little girl in a lace dress. The caption read,
Hometown boy and father of two, Darrell Grant (pictured with his three-year-old daughter Sarah) plans to make town staple diner a star for a new generation.