Romancing the Nerd (15 page)

“You stay right there, hon. I’ll get it,” Mom says as she zooms through the living room.

A few seconds later, Beth leans over my shoulder. “Whatcha doin’?”

I quickly shut my laptop. I’ve been embarrassed too much recently, and the last thing I need is for her to see the newest Super Ones fanfiction I’ve been working on.

“Nothing. What’s going on?”

She walks around and nudges my legs over so she can sit. “I brought your homework assignments. How are you feeling? Your mom said you have a fever.”

Before I can stop her, she puts the back of her hand to my forehead. “I knew it! You’re not sick. No fever that I can feel.”

I push her hand away. “I took some medicine. My temperature has gone down a lot.”

“Yeah right. This is about last night, isn’t it?”

Can’t a girl throw herself a pity party without being hounded about it?

“No,” I say, not making eye contact.

She taps her foot rapidly on the wood floor.

I give up lying to her because she knows me too well. “Fine. Yes, that’s part of it.”

She flings her arms around me. “Zelda, don’t give that jerk another thought. You looked a-freaking-mazing last night and you know it.”

“Thanks. I’m starting to come to terms with the whole thing. I just couldn’t face it today. Plus, something else happened.”

She sits up and puts her hands on my shoulders. “What? Tell me.”

“Dan asked to video chat with other-me.”

Her grip tightens. “And what did you say?”

I let out a long sigh and prepare to be yelled at. “Nothing. I dodged him and said I had to go to bed.”

Beth shakes me and the yelling begins. “Why did you do that? You have to tell him at some point. It’s like a Band-Aid—you should just rip it off. If you don’t, it’ll haunt you forever. Or he’ll find out from someone else, which is worse.”

Mom comes in then with a tray of tea for all of us. “I couldn’t have put it any better myself, Beth.”

“What?” I ask, almost spilling the hot tea onto my precious laptop.

“Beth’s right. You need to just ’fess up and take things from there.” She blows on her tea, calm as a spring breeze. “I knew it had to have something to do with a boy. You never get sick. A broken leg or a concussion I would’ve believed, but not a virus. And I could tell by your demeanor that this was a sickness of the heart, not the body.”

“There you go again with your romance novel logic.” I shake my head.

She points a scolding finger at me. “Don’t discount romance novels. What do you think that stuff you write for your blog is? You call it ‘fanfic’ but it could absolutely be categorized as romance. Love, finding that other person who understands you, is a part of everyone’s life. Some of the most beautiful and poignant words I’ve ever read have been in romance novels.”

“Okay, first off,” Beth says, “we’ll talk about your fanfiction another time. Secondly, your mom is totally right. ’Fess up already.”

“Fine,” I spit out like a petulant child. “I’ll agree to a video chat or whatever next time he asks, okay?”

Of course, there’s no way that’s going to happen because Dan is probably too discouraged to ask again. I’ll have to find another way to rip this Band-Aid off.

Chapter Eighteen

Dan

After talking to Doctor Vera, the first thing I do when I get home is Google triskaidekaphobia, of course. Learning that there are enough people out there who have a debilitating fear of the number thirteen that they had to give it a name is almost as unbelievable as the fact that Zelda Potts is effyeahFinityGirl.
My
effyeahFinityGirl. All this time the girl that I’ve wanted so desperately to know better was a five-minute drive away. She was right down the hall at school and sitting in the heated seats of the monstrosity.

In my room, I turn on some Mozart and lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling. And yes, I listen to Mozart. What kind of modern Renaissance man would I be if classical music wasn’t on my iTunes? Plus, studies have shown that classical music can jumpstart the logical part of the brain, and that’s exactly what I need right now. I need the emotional, hormonal, lovey-dovey part of my brain to shut up.

I don’t know what she wanted to accomplish when she started this, but she probably had nefarious intentions. And as much as I want to be angry about that, I can’t be too upset. I just can’t. She, as FinityGirl, has been a light in the dark, a glass of water on a hot day, a 1-UP when I was down to zero lives, whether she meant to be or not. She probably didn’t mean to be supportive at the beginning, but I’d like to believe that as time went by, maybe Zelda’s hatred of me dimmed and she wanted to be there for me. Just like I want to be there for her.

Now, I might not be super mad at her, but I can’t just forgive and forget then change my Facebook status to “In a relationship.” It’s not in my DNA to let something this big go unpunished. I deserve to have a little fun, seeing as she’s probably been having a good laugh at my expense. I also really need confirmation that I’m right and this isn’t a case of wishful thinking.

First things first, I need more information. I need a spy. And I know just the cheerleader for the job. But she can’t know she’s spying or she won’t go along with it. I know Maddie and Logan went to the premiere last night because they invited me and I couldn’t go because Taxidermy Todd said no. Even though I’ve been exploring my rebellious side where he’s concerned, after everything that happened on Christmas Festival night, I didn’t want to push my luck. It sucked on every level.

The first time I call Logan, it rings only twice before it goes to voice mail, which means he declined my call, which means he’s probably with Maddie doing things I really don’t want to know about. I’m not a horrible person so I give them ten minutes before I call again. And again. And again. Third time’s always a charm.

“What? What? What do you want?” He sounds out of breath when he answers.

Gross.

“I need to talk to Maddie,” I say.

“Then why didn’t you call her phone?” I almost feel bad for interrupting them. Almost.

“Because by the way you sent me to voice mail the first time I called, I knew you two were probably…busy, shall we say, and if I’d called her, she’d never have answered because she can be very selfish. You, on the other hand, I knew would answer because you have a conscience. Really, it’s not that hard to figure out, dude.”

He lets out a frustrated sigh that’s very loud in my ear. “Whatever. Here.”

“Make this quick, Dan.” Maddie sounds about as happy as Logan did, which is not at all.

I try to sound depressed. “I need a sympathetic ear, Madelyn. Do you have a second?”

As expected, she loses the upset tone of voice quickly. “Aw, sure, Dan. What’s up?” She might be selfish when it comes to Logan, but she’s also a bleeding heart. She once made us pull the car over on the highway because there was a cardboard box on the side of the road and she wanted to make sure some horrible person hadn’t left a litter of puppies or kittens in it, which people sometimes do around here.

“I’m worried about effyeahFinityGirl. She had a bad experience last night,” I say.

“What happened?” she asks.

“She went to a midnight premier of
The Super Ones
and someone made fun of the costume she was wearing. She didn’t even stay for the movie. I just”—I throw in a pitiful sigh for good measure—“I just wish I could cheer her up or something.”

The silence, as they say, is deafening. She stumbles on her response. “R-really? That sounds horrible. W-what did you say her name was again?”

This should give her the proof she needs to turn her suspicion to belief. “EffyeahFinityGirl. She’s a big fan of that character.”

“Ah, well, that’s so sad.” Her voice is barely above a whisper, which means she’s thinking pretty hard to figure this out. Multitasking isn’t really her forte.

“Yeah, and I feel helpless, ya know?” I’m not lying. I did feel helpless when FinityGirl told me that. I feel even more helpless now. I know exactly who made her upset and I can’t do anything about it without tipping off Zelda that I know what’s going on. I promise myself right here and now that no matter how all this plays out, Martin will learn the error of his ways.

“All you can do is be there for her. You were there for her, right? You did listen and offer a shoulder to cry on, right?” The panic in her voice is insulting. What kind of person does she think I am?

“Of course I did.”

“Thank goodness,” she says on a relieved exhale.

“Why do you sound so shocked? I’m a nice guy sometimes.”

I can hear her rolling her eyes through the phone. “I know, Dan. I know.”

“Good. Well, I have to go.” I bring back my sad voice. “Thanks for listening.”

“No problem, dude. Talk to you later.”

I check the time as I press “end call.” It’s 10:24. If I’m correct, and let’s face it, of course I’m correct, she should be calling Zelda in about ten minutes. After she tells Logan the whole story.

I swear, I could rival the Black Widow in the skill of people manipulation. I’ll have proof tomorrow.

Zelda

When my phone rings at 10:35 at night, I’m kind of shocked. It’s pretty late for Maddie to be calling, so I hope it’s not an emergency.

“So, I just got a call from Dan,” she says.

My heartbeat speeds up. “Is he okay?”

“No,” she answers bluntly.

I sit up in bed, my heart going ninety to nothing. “Oh my God, what happened?”

“Well, he told me something about his online girlfriend that has me a little, let’s say, confused.”

I relax slightly, grateful that he’s apparently physically okay, but then I fully realize what she just said. My heart drops hard like the beat in a Beastie Boys song. I don’t know what to say.

Maddie continues. “You’re her, aren’t you? You’re the girl Dan’s been talking to online.”

Deep breaths, Zelda. I knew this had to happen at some point. I just didn’t expect it to happen like this.

I close my eyes. “Yes.”

It’s quiet on her end for a second, then she giggles. Her giggles become louder and harder until she’s full-on laughing her head off. “This is the best thing ever!”

That was not the response I was expecting. “You’re not mad?”

“Good God, no. So, tell me. What’s he like when he’s not being, ya know, himself?”

I laugh as my heart puts itself back in place. “He’s surprisingly nice, if you can believe it.”

“I can believe it,” she says. “Dan can be a tough pill to swallow, but deep down, he’s really a big ol’ softy. So, why’d you do it?”

“I don’t know. It’s a long story.”

“Zelda, it’s Friday night and this is the best thing that’s happened all day.” I hear someone clear his throat in the background. That must be Logan, considering her next words. “I mean, the second best. I have all the time in the world is what I’m trying to say. So spill it.”

It feels good to explain the whole crazy story. How it started as this petty thing on my part, then turned into something else. How in the beginning I was holding this weird grudge against him for being popular, and how I felt betrayed by that. And now, after getting to know him, I realize how stupid that was.

I finish my tale of intrigue with, “I’m not sure what to do now. He asked if we could maybe video chat, and I dodged the question. I haven’t talked to him since.”

“Well, you must know how I feel about you two. I think you’d be perfect for each other. You wouldn’t put up with any of his crap, and he’d probably treat you like a queen because he’s not the type of guy to do anything half-ass.”

It’s my turn to laugh hysterically. “Yeah, right. There’s no way Dan would ever be interested in me like that after this. At this point, I’ll be happy if he doesn’t hate my guts for the rest of eternity once he finds out.”

“You’re kidding, right? There’s definitely a spark between y’all. Take my word for it. Anyway, I need to go, but you keep me updated on any and all happenings, yes? I have to know how all this plays out.”

“Will do,” I say and hang up.

Poor delusional Maddie. Her ’ship is just not going to sail. There’s no way that Dan will have any kind of feelings for me. I’m
me
for goodness sake. I’m super-clumsy, opinionated, argumentative, red-haired and freckled
me.
I’m not saying I won’t find that person one day. I’m sure there’s someone out there who’ll be able to tolerate me. But that person isn’t Dan Garrett.

Is it?

Chapter Nineteen

Dan

The next day, I stroll into The Phoenix. Maddie and Logan are hunched over a comic, so she barely looks up when I speak.

“Hey Maddie, can I borrow your phone? Mine just died and I need to Google something.”

“Sure.” She slides her phone across the table.

I pull up her recent calls and grin. There I am and directly after me is Zelda Potts. I have confirmation.

“What are you Googling? Please tell me it’s not something like how to build a spy drone because I do not want to have to clear my search history,” she says when they finish the book.

I spent all morning planning out this interaction and the pay-off is going to be sweet. “I was wondering who the smartest person in the world is.”

She trades a scowl with Logan, who says, “I don’t think that’s determinable, dude. I mean, I guess it is if you’re going by IQ. But even then it’s not like they know every person in the world’s score.”

“Oh really? Because this phone just gave me a clear answer.”

“Which is?” Maddie asks.

I flip the phone around and show her recent calls list. “Me! I knew it was Zelda! And I knew that if I gave you enough hints, you’d figure it out, too. So, what did she say?”

Maddie’s eyes go wide and she pushes away from the counter, rolling back in the office chair. She grabs a big stack of comics and zooms into an aisle. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

I’m right behind her as she pretends to busy herself by putting out the books. “You’re so transparent. You have to tell me. You owe me.”

“How do I owe you?”

I throw my hands up. “I was instrumental in you two dorks getting together. Now tell me or I’ll get Logan to.”

She squints her eyes at me. “He wouldn’t tell you.”

I squint right back at her. “Wanna bet?”

We crane our necks around one of the long shelving units to look for Logan. He’s suddenly nowhere to be seen. Smart guy.

“Come on, Maddie. Do a guy a favor. Please?” I clasp my hands in front of me and go down on one knee.

She hugs the books to her chest and furrows her brow.

“I’m begging here, dude. And you know I never beg. This is serious.”

She relaxes her shoulders a little. “Why do you want to know?”

She’s softening, I can tell, so I lay it all out. “I like her, okay? But I can’t do anything unless I know the truth about why she did all this. It’s a trust issue.”

“Why don’t you just ask her yourself?” She walks away, back toward the counter.

“Because I don’t want to scare her off. And because, believe it or not, I want to be romantic and junk. Ya know, make a grand gesture.”

She stops suddenly and whips around. “Awww. You guys are adorable.”

I roll my eyes. “Aren’t we, though? Now, please, tell me what she said.”

She purses her lips and looks at the ceiling. After a few seconds, she makes a decision. “Okay, fine. Let’s sit down.”

A satisfied smile spreads across my face.

Smartest person in the world. I’m going to have a T-shirt made.

When Maddie’s done, I’m reeling from the information. I never realized Zelda felt that way. It’s been one misunderstanding after another.

“Okay, I’ve told you everything. Now, call Zelda and hash this out.” Maddie shoves her phone in my face.

“Uh, no,” I say, pushing the phone away. “That’s not how this is going to go down.”

Her eyes widen. “Uh, yes, it is. I’m not lying to her about what I’ve told you. You can do your grand romantic gesture right now. Go on, do the thing!”

“I can’t just ‘do the thing,’ cheerleader. I’m going to need time.”

She doesn’t speak for a bit, presumably because her brain is working hard again. Finally, she puts a hand to her forehead and looks down. “Fine. But don’t take forever, okay?”

Zelda

On Monday, I avoid Dan like the plague, which isn’t easy. He keeps trying to corner me, but I’m always quick to dodge him. He may be fast, but I’m small and good at hiding. By the end of the day, Dan has almost worn me down. I’m getting to the point where I just want to get the whole thing over with, so when someone taps me on the shoulder while I’m grabbing stuff out of my locker, I almost just blurt out that yes, I am FinityGirl, damn it! But when I turn, it’s not Dan standing there. It’s Donovan.

“Zelda, right?” he asks. His whole crew or posse or whatever you call them stand behind him with looks of anticipation.

My shoulders fall and I want to disappear. “Yes, my name is Zelda and yes, I know it’s from a video game.”

Donovan’s brow furrows. “Uh, okay. Anyway, look, I just wanted to say sorry for calling you Mrs. Potato Head. I was a real douchebag and I shouldn’t have done that. And what Martin did at the movies was also really bad. I’m going to talk to him, maybe make him apologize, okay?”

I don’t know what to say. I’m still waiting for the punch line, but it never comes. And it looks like his friends are as shocked as I am, because they’re looking at him like he has two heads.

Finally I decide that this must be a trick. Like he’s waiting for me to accept the apology before he lays down whatever zinger he’s planned out.

“Um, okay. I, uh, accept your apology.” I prepare myself for the upcoming burn.

“Great. So, see ya ’round.” He waves bye and he’s off, strutting down the hall like it’s just another day.

I’m totally dazed as I watch him walk away. In the distance, Dan leans against the lockers, a smile scrawled across his face. It isn’t a smug smile, though. It’s more like he’s listening to “What a Wonderful World” in his head. He pushes off the lockers and heads my way. And I’m super thankful that Donovan intercepts him because I really don’t feel like finding a cabinet to hide in at the moment.

I turn, the fear of the Donovan situation quickly evolving into elation, and almost smack into Beth.

“There you are. Want a ride?”

I immediately say yes.

We’re bumping over the railroad tracks in front of the college when she asks, “So, when are you going to ask Dan to meet?”

I stumble over my words. “Uh, I did already, r-remember?”

“Liar. I was not expelled from my mom’s lady parts yesterday, ya know? If you actually had, it would have already happened and you would’ve already told me about it. So?”

I sigh. “I don’t know. I am really ready to get it done. I just… It’s confusing.”

“Ask him to meet you on New Year’s Eve on the river bank for the fireworks. At Julien’s, that place is great. They have leather booths and those awesome giant coke floats. Oh my God, how adorkable would you two be, sharing one of those with two straws. Awww!” She smacks me hard a few times on the shoulder.

I rub the sore spot but laugh at the same time. “I am
not
going to share a coke float with Dan.”

“But the Christmas lights will still be on and people will be all happy and stuff. Come on, it’s the best idea ever. It’ll be so romantic.”

“I don’t want romance, Beth. I’ll be spilling my guts about how I tried to trick him. He won’t be in the mood for romance, either.”

She glares at me, unconvinced.

“Whatever. I’ll think about it, okay? Let’s go to your house and decide what we’re going to cosplay for next year’s NerdCon.”

“Okay, I won’t bug you anymore about it. And I think we need to do something with wings. I’ll look amazing in wings.”

Once we’ve narrowed our costume ideas down to fairy, gender-swapped versions of Mario and Luigi, or angel versions of a couple of our favorite fictional characters who unfortunately died in the Harry Potter books, Beth takes me home. A new chapter of a fanfiction that I’ve been obsessed with has been posted, but I can’t seem to focus on reading it. That whole Donovan situation was very twilight zone.

I’ve already figured out that Dan is not a horrible person and now I have to come to terms with the fact that Donovan might not be a total dick, either. I’ve labeled them both as “popular,” which in my head automatically meant jerks, but they’ve proven me wrong. There are still other people who’ve treated me like dirt because we’re in different social circles, I assumed. But was I ever anything other than dismissive of them as well? I’ve never said anything nice to, say, Cindy LeDeaux. All my manners seem to go out the window when I get near someone who’s considered popular.

My God, I’ve been so petty and stupid and childish.

Maybe it’s not about being a nerd or a jock, or popular or unpopular. Maybe it’s just about being.

Now, if only the rest of the school realized this.

Honestly, I didn’t actually start this stupid plan in the name of science. It was revenge, plain and simple, but maybe the plan has led me to something bigger and better.

Then there’s flipping Dan Garrett, who keeps invading my thoughts.

I could sit here and go back and forth over whether to ask Dan to meet or not. Or I could grow a pair.

I pull up the chat window on my laptop.