Ruined (The MC Motorcycle Club Romance Series - Book #1) (5 page)

“I imagine it sucks pretty badly to see your ex with
your best friend. I wish we would have written to you or something and warned
you.”

“My ex-best friend,” he said, emphasizing the ex.
“He was what I called a best friend a few years back. I was gone for over two
years. I didn’t see him. I didn’t get a letter or a care package once. What
kind of best friend is that?” He laughed again, but there was no humor in it
and he said, “I guess the kind that snatches up your ex-girlfriend as soon as
she dumps you, huh? I’ll bet he was waiting outside the courthouse for them to
load me on the bus and then he was too busy playing house with you to come and
visit me.”

“
Dax
, listen. I understand
that you’re angry and you have a right to be. But I was your ex for good
reason. I was angry too and hurt. You never let on to me that you had anything
to do with drugs. You let me believe you and I had a future together.”

“And
me
getting arrested
messed up that plan for you. You couldn’t wait two years and stand by your man?”

“I didn’t want to,
Dax
. I
don’t want to be part of that kind of life.”

This time when he laughed he really seemed amused.
“First of all, I told you that I had no idea those drugs were there. You chose
not to believe me. I’m the injured party here, Liv, not you. My mother was the
only one who believed me and stood by me. And then there is the fact that you
protest the lifestyle so strongly yet look around you, Olivia. I’ve been out
for two days and I’ve seen you here twice already. You’re dating the vice president
of the
Smokin
’ Jokers’ son. What do you think your
boyfriend is going to be when he grows up?”

“Terrance doesn’t do anything illegal. He just runs
parts back and forth, things like that.”

“What about the rest of these guys?” He lowered his
voice as he said it, but no one was paying attention to us any longer anyways.
When I didn’t answer he said, “Tell me this, Olivia, what do you do these days
for a living?”

“I work two days a week for my uncle and I help out
here a little, cleanup, sometimes I bartend.”

“And my dad pays you for that? Between him and your
uncle you make enough to pay your bills?”

“I make enough to help a little. Mostly Terrance
pays the bills,” I admitted, a little ashamed.
Dax
was not where he expected to be at twenty-one I’m sure and neither was I.

“Terrance makes good money, does he?”
Dax
said with a smug smile.

“Pretty good,” I said. I knew where he was taking
this conversation. I wasn’t going to let him convince me Terrance was doing
anything illegal. Terrance took me with him on his runs a lot of times. Nothing
ever changed hands but parts and sometimes money. Never bags full of drugs.

“Olivia, I know that you’re not stupid.
Naïve, maybe.
Think about it, look at this run-down place
and the run-down people that come in here every night and ask
yourself
, ‘Where does all the money to pay all these guys
and customize all these bikes come from?’ Bull doesn’t make enough off this
place to pay the light bill. Do you ever see any of these losers paying for
their beer?”

“You’re insinuating your own father is in the drug
business. I’ve heard you insinuate that before,
Dax
.
That may or may not be true, but it doesn’t mean any of these guys are doing
anything wrong, much less Terrance.”

“I’m not insinuating anything. I’m telling you that
my father is in whatever business brings in the most money and you need to open
your eyes a bit before your new boyfriend is doing time too. I wasn’t running
anything for him and it happened to me. Olivia, none of these guys have a real
job yet they drive fifty-thousand dollar bikes. Their wives drive SUVs and have
their nails and hair done every other day. They have breast implants…those
aren’t cheap. All of that alone should give you a clue. You’re like my mother,
I think. You know very well what goes on here, you would just rather turn a
blind eye to it. It’s too late for me, but I wish that you would get out before
you get hurt again.”

It made me angry for him to talk about Terrance like
that and that although he said he didn’t think I was stupid, he was talking to
me
like
I was. He would have never talked to me like
that in the past. Maybe he was just trying to convince me to leave Terrance, I
didn’t know. I tried to tell myself that he had anger and resentment built up,
with good reason I was sure, but he was displacing it on whoever was closest to
him. Hopefully it would die down after a while and it would all get easier.

“Terrance doesn’t talk about the rest of the club to
me. Kind of like you did in the old days. If they are doing things they shouldn’t
be then that’s good, because I really don’t want to know. It’s not affecting me
anymore. Not
like
it did when I found out that you
were doing the very things you had held against your dad your entire life.
Terrance knows better than
anyone
how badly that hurt
me. He would never do that to me.”
 

“Believe it or not, I do hope your new boyfriend
doesn’t end up like your old one,” he said. “I don’t consider Terrance a friend
any longer but I wouldn’t wish prison and a lifetime of being a felon on anyone.”

I didn’t say anything. What was I supposed to say?
He was still insinuating
that Terrance was a bad guy and may
end up in prison someday
. I wanted to believe he was saying it out of
jealousy and he didn’t really believe Terrance was running drugs or something
just as bad. I was hoping that someday we could all be friends again.

Changing the subject he asked, “So how’s school, are
you finished yet?”

Oh great, another sore subject. I was hoping that
his mother already told him and I wouldn’t have to.

“I quit school,” I told him.

“Why?” He was looking intently at me with his
penetrating green eyes
like
he was really interested.
We both had such big dreams and we had worked hard our first year in college.
We had both managed to make the Dean’s list and we were proud of each other. I
didn’t want him to think I was blaming him, but I was honest.

“I just got stressed out when you were…when
everything happened with you…I just couldn’t think straight and I couldn’t
sleep. I was failing everything. I didn’t even wake up and get to class some
days. I should have gone to the doctor. I’m sure now that it was depression and
I probably could have gotten help for it if I had tried. But I didn’t even have
the energy for that. My aunt and uncle let me wallow for a while and then they
just told me that was it. I needed to get out of bed and get on with life or I
go home…to my mom. I got out of bed and I went to work for my Uncle Jeff and
honestly, that’s when I started seeing Terrance a lot. He came in almost every
day and—”

“I think I’ve heard enough about you and Terrance,”
he said.

“Okay, I’m sorry. One more thing though. He was just
as upset about what happened to you as I was. We were just there for each other
and didn’t plan for anything else to happen. His heart broke for you,
Dax
.” His facial expression was telling me I was walking a
fine line so I switched back to my own feelings. “I was worried about you. I would
lie in my bed at night and wonder what it was like there. I imagined it being awful.
All I know about prison is what I’ve seen on television. What was it like,
Dax
?”

“It’s hard to describe. It wasn’t fun and it was
lonely. I would never want to do it again, but you learn how to get along and
how to survive. You just have to be adaptable because it’s a whole different
world.”

“You mean doing things like getting all the tattoos
and working out?” I asked him.

“The muscles were necessary, yes. I was a skinny kid
when I went in and we both know that I was awfully pretty.” We both chuckled. It
was nice to hear him laugh genuinely and not sarcastically. “The tattoos were
because they were easy to get I guess and I was bored. It gave me something to
look at and think about and even look forward to.”

“I like them,” I told him honestly.

They weren’t naked women like some of the other guys
had or racial slurs. They were a bunch of other designs and were appealing to
the eye nonetheless.

“I'm glad you didn't cut off your blond hair and go
bald like a lot of the other guys in prison.”

He ran his hand through his hair and said, “I know,
it is pretty sexy, isn't it?”

I laughed.
“Whatever you want to
believe,
Dax
.”

We grinned in unison. “Well it seems not to be stopping
all the girls around here from trying to get with me.”

“I think they're trying to get with you so that they
can be your old lady and take all your money,” I quipped.

He snickered. “Yeah, they probably are. Good thing
I'm not interested in any of them. They're all a bunch of whores who will sleep
with anyone to get what they want around here. The only girl I want is—” He
didn't finish his sentence.

Thank God he didn’t because I did not know how I was
going to respond if he said my name. My heart was thumping hard in my chest. It
felt like it was ready to explode out of my body.
 

He stared at me for a few more seconds before
saying, “Anyways, prison can only be described as prison. It's a lot scarier when
you're actually in there as opposed to looking at it from the outside world.”

We talked for a while. He told me more about prison,
even though I was sure that he was sugar-coating it. He said he spent most of
his time in a cell and only got to go out in the yard a few hours every other
day. He
was put
in another cell out there; he called
it the cage. I shuddered at the term. I couldn’t wrap my head around
being put
in a cage. That had to make you feel less than
human no matter who you were.

He told me about a few of the famous prisoners he had
met and how books and television made them seem bigger than life but in reality
they were really just big thugs like the rest of them.

We talked about his mom, Gail, who I really liked,
although I didn’t understand why she put up with the things she did from his
dad. It was why he knew comparing me to her would be an insult. I wouldn’t mind
being like Gail the lady, but Gail the wife of the president of the club was
not what I was aiming for. He told me that she had sent him a care package
every week and she had come to see him every Sunday and on holidays. His eyes
always softened when he talked about her.

We talked about my uncle and the shop. I told him
that he was expanding and he told me if I went back to school and finished my
degree he
might be talked
into giving me a management
position someday. I was considering it for the winter semester since the fall
semester had already started.

 
I happened to
glance at the clock over the bar and I noticed it was getting to be after lunch
time and I knew Terrance would be home soon. I really didn’t want to go. We
seemed to have found an easy rhythm and were talking
like
we used to. I used to love sitting up with him all night just talking. I loved
staying up at night with him and doing other things too. I knew I shouldn’t have
been thinking about it.

I finally said, “Thanks for talking with me,
Dax
. I should be getting home now.”

He looked like he had more to say. His eyes were
serious and thinking about what he might say made me nervous.

It was wasted energy though because all he really sputtered
out was, “Sure,
take
care of yourself, Olivia.”

I could feel his eyes watching me as I went into the
kitchen to find Cookie who did in fact have my purse in the lost and found. My
one pitiful credit card and the three dollars I had in cash last night were
still there. When I came back out and headed for the door
Dax
was still watching. I smiled and gave him a little wave. He raised his beer to
me.

Terrance was already home when I got to the
apartment. I thought about telling him about my talk with
Dax
,
but I didn’t really have anything to say about it that wouldn’t make him feel
bad. It was a good talk. He had given me the chance he wasn’t willing to give
Terrance. I would always love
Dax
, but I cared a lot
about Terrance and had no desire to hurt him. When he asked me where I had been
I told him about going out to look for my purse and finding it with Cookie at
the bar. That was all I said about it. He didn’t ask any other questions
either.

Thank God.

“What do you want to have for dinner?” I asked him.

CHAPTER
5

DAX

My morning started out with my mother yelling at me
to wake up. I looked at my phone, which
was wrapped up
in the sheets with me. It was only eight in the morning, what the hell? I
didn’t have any appointments today that I knew of.