Run With Me (29 page)

I guess it's exactly what she
wanted to hear because she smiles and hugs me. When she pulls back I
see for the first time how tired she is. Her eyes are heavy, her face
drained of most of its color. She looks slightly weak and frail, as
if she's about to keel over.

“
You should get some sleep,”
I tell her. “We can make it halfway by early evening if we go right
now.”

I feel almost guilty giving out
orders like this. I'm sure she wants nothing more than to find a
comfortable bed somewhere and get her energy back. But all she does
is nod and agree with me, before sliding down into her seat and
shutting her eyes.

I begin the long journey back
north with my mind still racing. Teddy Klein can wait. He's not going
anywhere and, as far as I know, he has no idea I know what he did. In
a couple of days I'll be back here again, back to finish the job and
finally get some closure on my family's murder.

A
strange feeling of vindication fills me as I drive. No one, maybe not
even Rick, truly believed that Sophie and Ellie had been murdered.
But I knew. Like a 6
^th
sense I knew that the fire wasn't an accident. All those years spent
trying to find information, trying to search for the truth, haven't
been wasted. They've all just lead me to this, to Carmine and Robert
Pullman and Teddy Klein. The pieces have finally come together and,
with it, the opportunity to finally let go once and for all.

I
turn to see Kitty, breathing lightly, her head rocking gently from
side to side as I swerve round corners.
And I've met her
too
, I think to myself. One
stage of my life is finally going to be completed. Maybe she
represents the next.

I think of what Sophie will be
thinking up there. Whether she's watching me now, nodding her head
and smiling as I finally complete the puzzle. I wonder what she
thinks about Kitty and know just what she'd say. “It's been long
enough, baby. It's time for you to move on, to find someone else. You
have to let me go or you'll never have a future.” That's what she'd
say.

It's been years since I've met a
girl who even effuses the slightest of feeling from me. Years spent
with a one track mind, a mind dominated by revenge, by work. But
Kitty's different. In so many ways she even reminds me of Sophie.
It's not only her new look and blonde hair. It's her smile, her soft
features, her mannerisms. It's the way she looks to reassure me, the
feel of her fingers as they touch my hand, wrap around my back. But
she's different, too. Stronger. Used to a world that's rougher and
more dangerous. Used to the world I live in.

A few hours pass before I know
it. I find that I'm running on the adrenaline of the last few days,
my mind still alert despite having not slept for more than a day. My
work over the last few years, as well as my time in the army, have
primed me to go without sleep for long periods without losing my
effectiveness and concentration. By evening I'll stop, but now I want
to make as much progress as possible.

It's only now, alone and silent
in the car, that I truly have time to think. It feels alien to me to
even have Kitty by my side again, safe and secure with me. I still
can't quite believe that Carmine allowed us to leave. Even there, in
the woods, he had us both at his mercy. Has he suddenly developed a
conscience? The man I know, the man I've heard stories told of,
wouldn't think twice of killing us both there and then. I dwell on
the thought for a long time and can come to no conclusion.

Mostly I think of his killing of
Pullman, of the act of revenge that he stole from me. I just can't
understand why Sophie would have been working for Carmine without
telling me. I can't understand why and how he'd grown such an
attachment to her to be willing to hunt and track this man for years.
Was she really that special to him? And if so, why?

I squeeze the wheel tight as the
thought of her sleeping with him invades my thoughts. I'm not a
trusting person and have a mean streak of jealously in me, so such a
thought is impossible to evade. Did she sleep with him? The question
sits in my mind and refuses to leave. I had been away for nearly 6
months when I got the call of her death. Had she betrayed me during
that time?

I shake the suspicion away.
Sophie was loyal and I know she loved me. It wasn't the sort of thing
she'd do. More likely was that Carmine fell in love with her and kept
it quiet. Or perhaps he told her but it wasn't reciprocated. Whatever
happened, I'll probably never know the truth. I hope to never see
Carmine again and he's the only one with the answers. And really,
he'll only tell me the same as he told me before. That he thought she
was a lovely girl, that he felt guilty for recommending Pullman to
his associate, Teddy Klein. I can either choose to believe that, or
drive myself mad making up a more sordid and painful version of the
story. The former option seems like the more sensible route to take.

“
Teddy Klein,” I say out
loud, breaking the silence in the car momentarily as his name
re-enters my thoughts. The man is just like Carmine. A boss, a
gangster. I've even worked for him before, tracking a man who owed
him money. He's ruthless, perhaps even more so than Carmine. This man
– he only owed him about twenty thousand dollars. But Klein wanted
to make a statement. After I'd delivered him, I saw on the news the
next day that he'd been found hung from a tree in a central LA park.
Of all people he was stumbled upon by a poor child out with his mom
and dog. When his identity was released I made the decision never to
work for Klein again. Going on the run without paying back 20 G isn't
a sufficient crime to warrant what the guy got. I didn't want to be
part of that again.

Carmine's
voice is ringing in my ear again.
She owed him debt
.
Why didn't she tell me she was borrowing money? Had things gotten
worse when I was gone? Why did she keep it all from me?

Burning the house down – it
must have been for the insurance. A way for Klein to get his money
back once the payout came in. Was Sophie involved in that? No, she
couldn't have been. Otherwise she wouldn't have been in the house
with Ellie. No, it must have been Klein's decision alone, one that he
passed onto Pullman.

I can't stop the thoughts from
rolling like a carousel around my head. I speculate in every
direction, trying to put it all together. I wonder why Carmine was so
intent on finding and killing Pullman, when it was Klein who
delivered the order. Why leave him alone? Because they're old
friends? Because he's too powerful and killing him would risk war?
The latter makes the most sense. So he took his revenge out on
Pullman instead. For a moment, a small part of me feels sorry for
him, for getting caught up in all of this. Just a man with nothing
who was paid to do a job. Just like me.

How
many lives have I ruined? How many people are out there, wishing
revenge against me for tracking someone, for leading them to the
gallows? I'm just another Robert Pullman. A man for hire to the
highest bidder. A man with nothing. A hypocrite.

The real villain here is Klein.
The man making the decisions. The man playing God. Feeding off the
weakness of others. Punishing them with his own brand of retribution
when they fail to live up to his demands. What did he lend my wife?
Five thousand? Ten? Within a few months that had probably doubled,
got to the point where she couldn't cope. That's when he strikes,
like a shark smelling blood. He deserves everything he's going to get
from me.

Kitty stirs at my side as the
sun sinks below the clouds on the horizon, creating a beautiful pinky
orange fog. We're high into Northern California now, a couple of
hours from the border. When we reach Oregon I'll call that a half way
point and stop for the night. This time, at least, we can stop
without worrying about Rugger or another of Carmine's men hunting us
down.

The police, though, are still a
concern, and Kitty asks me about them when she properly wakes up.
She's worried that they'll catch her at the border, that the truth
will be forced from her lips regarding everything that's happened.
Ever since Tara was found dead in her apartment, she's been in the
run. That looks suspicious, especially with the change of hair cut
and color. How does she explain that without dropping Carmine in it?
Without being accused of the crimes herself? The best way is to avoid
the issue for good, and that's what we're going to do. Change her
identity, set up a new life. We've come full circle from a week ago
when she was in Carmine's gunsight. This time, however, I'll be with
her every step of the way.

We reach the state border and
cross without incident. There's a compartment in my car beneath the
passenger seat in the back that I use for stowing illegal materials.
There's space in there for Kitty to hide as we cross through,
although the effort wasn't necessary in the end. A half hour later
we've found a motel and are holing up for the night as we did before.
I grab some food from a local shop and we fashion some semblance of a
healthy meal, complete with a bottle of wine to toast our escape from
the clutches of Michael Carmine.

That evening I let myself forget
the day just gone and the days to come. I forget about all the
revelations, about the job still to be done. I laugh, actually laugh,
for the first time in a long time. Kitty's long rest has clearly
restored her energy and verve because she's doing a lot of talking,
perhaps slightly buoyed by the alcohol. She smiles and tells me
stories and laughs, and right there I see that girl from outside the
cabin. The girl from her drawing. Smiling wide and pure, her whole
life ahead of her. I wished to see her like that in the flesh. At
least that wish has come true.

When we sleep that night we do
so next to each other in the same bed. I haven't felt the warmth of a
woman for a long time, haven't been so close to be able to smell
their hair, hear them breathing in my ear. For an all too fleeting
moment I feel her stroking my head as we lie in the darkness in
silence. Then the exhaustion in my body takes over and I drift,
falling into a deep and untroubled sleep.

A short respite from the days
past and the days to come. Because I know a storm is still brewing on
the horizon.

Kitty

Most of the next day is spent on
the road as we make our way north through Oregon and into Washington.
We take the exact same route we took the last time, and while my life
isn't in immediate danger any more, not a great deal has changed. I'm
still going to need to change my identity and leave my old life
behind. I'm still going to have to get used to the idea that nothing
will ever be quite the same again.

Unlike last time, however, I
don't feel the same way about it all. Not by a long shot. Perhaps
it's the fact that only yesterday I thought my life was coming to a
premature end. Perhaps it's the fact that everything had been
happening so fast and I had no opportunity to get used to the idea of
turning my back on my life, my friends, my family. Above all,
however, I know it's really to do with Colt. The fact that he's in
this with me. That he's here to protect me, to watch over me. His
presence makes everything OK. Makes me see that everything is going
to be all right after all. That from all of this horror, something
will blossom. That after even the darkest of nights, a bright new day
can dawn.

I feel completely refreshed
after the previous few days. Most of the journey yesterday I spent
asleep, only waking when we approached Oregon. I slept right through
the night as well, which was surprising given my extended nap. I
suppose it must have been some lingering exhaustion from the drug
they gave me and from the incessant fear I'd been feeling for days. I
guess being in constant fear of your life takes a lot out of you.

Now, though, that fear's gone.
The only thing I'm really scared of is what we'll find back at the
cabin. It's the last place I want to go, and I kinda wish Colt would
just change his mind and let it go. I don't tell him that, because
it's not my place to. And while I've lost loved ones, I haven't
suffered in the way he has. So, I keep quiet and follow his lead,
despite my reservations that it's only going to make him feel worse,
whatever Pullman may have written on the following page.

Then, I realize, there's still
Dale to think about. Colt was completely right with what he said
yesterday. Dale deserves to be properly buried, not just left there
for the scavengers. I do fear, however, that there may not be much of
him left. If that bear could be drawn to the cabin by my drying
clothes, surely a rotting corpse is going to lure in just about every
scavenger in a several mile radius. Again, though, I don't tell Colt
about the run ins I had with the local wildlife. I'm sure he knows
what he's likely, or rather not likely, to find anyway.

We talk less as the day wears
on. Colt seems to retract into himself a little bit, which makes a
lot of sense given everything that's probably on his mind. It gives
me time to reflect myself, and try to work my way through everything.
Colt's revelation that the man I saw Carmine kill – the murder that
started all of this – was actually the man who killed his family is
difficult to get my head around. I try quizzing Colt on it from time
to time, but he's clearly having just as much trouble understanding
it as me. He tries to explain what Carmine told him, but it still
hardly makes much sense. In any case, it's obvious that Colt still
doesn't trust him, despite the fact that he let us go yesterday. That
works for me, because neither do I, and I never will.