Rachel fell back, but when Lola continued to walk, she caught up. “It just looks…swollen or something.”
“It’s nothing. I have to go to the bathroom. I’ll see you in class,” she said in a rush, sounding a lot like Rachel,
and veered toward the bathrooms
.
Lola was relieved to find the restroom empty. The walls were pink and there were three stalls. The room smelled like soap and paper towels.
She rushed to the mirror and stared at her reflection. Her bones were so prominent they were almost skeletal. Lola flinched at the realization. She needed to eat more.
Hard to do when everything comes right back up.
Lola
turned her head to the side. The flesh near the corner of her right eye was
pink
and
puffy
. Lola leaned closer, dismayed to find a
small
purple bruise already forming.
“Great,” she mumbled.
Lola fought tears. She just wanted this to be over. Some days she could accept that she had close to a year to get through before she could leave. Other days, like today, Lola didn’t know if she could do it.
She just wanted him
gone
. But even if he
was
gone, what would that mean for her and her mother?
Lola
didn’t know how things could ever be normal between them again, be how they used to be.
Lola didn’t know if she could forgive her
mother for the year
of hell she’d subjected her to.
Especially when she didn’t even seem to
care
.
The mother she knew and loved wasn’t there anymore and Lola didn’t know if she would ever come back.
A cry of frustration and anger and pain erupted from her. Lola glared at her reflection, hating what she saw, hating what she had become.
She gripped the sink so hard her knuckles turned white. Lola closed her eyes and took deep breaths.
Get a grip. Don’t lose it.
Lola turned the water on and splashed some on her face, hoping it would take some of the swelling away. The bruise she could do nothing about. She arranged her long hair so that it partially covered the right side of her face. It was the best she could do.
The hallway was empty. First period had already started. She was late anyway.
All that for nothing.
Art was one of her favorite classes. There were
fifteen
kids in the classroom, all busy on their projects. They talked and laughed to one another, their biggest concern what they would be doing that night after school.
Lola had been like
them
too, just last year.
She inhaled the scent of paint as she went to her easel. Lola hoped the teacher, Mr. Roberts, wouldn’t notice she hadn’t been there when the bell sounded.
No such luck. He immediately made his way to her.
“Miss Murphy. You’re late.” He was a big, towering man with white hair and glasses. His voice boomed throughout the room and conversations halted.
Her face burned.
Great.
I’m sure I’ll get a
nother detention.
Lola looked at the outline of a butterfly on
the
8 X 10
canvas, keeping her face curtained by her hair. “I’m sorry.”
Mr. Roberts paused. “Is everything okay, Lola?”
Her breath hiccupped and it took her a moment to find her voice. “Yes.
Everything’s fine
.”
“Okay then. Get to work.” He moved away and voices picked up where they’d left off.
Lola looked down at her tennis shoes.
No one cares.
She pushed her hair behind her ears and stared at her unfinished art project, not sure where to begin. Usually able to lose herself in her painting, Lola felt uninspired and emotionless.
“Look at her. She doesn’t even realize she only put eye shadow on
one
eye.” Snickers followed Roxanne’s words.
She seemed to be the biggest target of her malice and yet it didn’t immediately register with Lola that of course Roxanne was talking about her.
Lola frowned.
I didn’t put eye shadow on
any
eye
shadow
.
“Maybe I should give her some makeup pointers.” More laughter a
nd a couple girls chimed in
they would help.
She sucked in a breath and quickly blanketed her face with her hair, wanting to disappear.
The bruise.
She had to be talking about the small purple bruise above her right eye.
Lola kept her face forward and hoped Roxanne would lose interest in her if she didn’t respond.
“Shut up, Roxanne.
Like anyone would want makeup tips from
you
.”
There was stunned silence after that because
no one
said things like that to Roxanne Zanders.
Lola looked behind her and caught Rachel’s eye. Rachel smiled. Gratitude washed over Lola and she turned back to her
art project
.
As she stared at it, Lola chewed on her lip; an emotion washing over her. She let it encompass her and
t
he outline of a butterfly turned into four black bold letters.
Slashes
of color made up the background and became interwoven with the letters.
Lola set the
paintbrush done, breathing heavy and
shaking.
When the bell rang, Roxanne sprang to her feet and strode from the room with her posse in tow, but not before giving Rachel and Lola her signature glare.
“You just got an enemy,” Lola said as they walked down the hallway.
Kids bustled past on either side of them, loud and
full of energy.
Lola’s eyes searched the crowded hallway
for a distinct form. She told herself it wasn’t disappointment she felt when she didn’t find him.
One or two conversations and a similar home life did not make them anything.
Rachel shrugged. “I’d rather have her for an enemy than a friend. Can you imagine? Dressing and talking like
that
to fit in
, not having a mind of my own,
no
thank
you
.
“Besides, I’m sick of her picking on you. You should be too. She only does i
t because she’s jealous of you.”
“Right.”
Why would Roxanne have any reason to be envious of Lola
?
She was pretty, popular, had a good body, and all the boys drooled after her. No, that wasn’t it.
Roxanne
was just mean
.
As Lola watched, Roxanne stopped at Sebastian’s locker. He had on a dark blue shirt and faded jeans. Roxanne tapped him on the shoulder. Seba
stian looked up and gave a half
smile
, his face lighting up at the sight of her
.
Lola’s stomach knotted and she looked away.
She didn’t understand why it was still hard to see him, but it was. Probably because she didn’t know what
had
happened between them
that
had made them the way they were
. And of course part of her missed him.
Rachel pointed at Sebastian. “
That
, right there, is why she doesn’t like you.”
Lola hurried past them with her head down. Rachel kept up. “That doesn’t make any sense. We don’t even talk anymore.”
“Yeah.
What’s that all about anyway?” Rachel leaned against the lockers as Lola unlocked hers and grabbed books for her next class.
Lola slammed her locker door shut.
“Nothing.”
Rachel put a hand on her arm when Lola tried to turn away. Lola was forced to look at her. Concern furrowed Rachel’s brows.
“Us too.
We barely talk anymore. What happened?”
“I’m just…busy
.”
The grip tightened on her arm. “And your face?”
Lola glanced at her friend’s determined features. “What about my face?”
“Pretty sure that isn’t purple makeup.
Who did that to you? Was it your mom’s husband?
”
Lola swallowed. She desperately wanted to tell someone, to tell Rachel. But what would happen then? Rachel would look at her in
horror;
probably never speak to her again. Or she’d tell a teacher and Lola would have to talk to them, maybe someone would even call the authorities.
Then what? Then nothing would happen. Or maybe she’d be taken from her mother. But most likely it would do no good and she’d be even more alienated than she already was from the kids her age and
Bob
would just get worse.
The bell buzzed and Lola wrenched her arm from Rachel’s grasp, ignoring her as she called her name. She rushed down the corridor to Geometry, heart pounding. She couldn’t tell anyone.
5
Lola
thought she might
get sick, but she kept walking. T
rying not to hurry, trying not to run, she made her way out into the midday sunlit day.
S
he strode down the steps of the school
, intent on putting distance between herself and the build
ing
before someone noticed her absence.
The sun was warm on her head and Lola shook off her jacket, shoving it into her backpack as she walked.
Old structures boasted of the town’s history and age.
Leafy green trees were abundant.
The scent of lilacs was heady.
Visually i
t was a beautiful town.
Instead of heading into the main part of town, she went toward the edge of it, toward the wooded part.
Every car that drove
by caused her heartbeat to
escalate
, but none of them stopped. Lola
wouldn’t meet the eyes of people she passed on the sidewalk.
It seemed to take forever to get
to her destination
, but really was less than ten minutes.
She wondered what she was doing. Lola had never skipped school before. It was like some reckless being was shoving itself to the surface and taking
over
Lola. She felt different from
who
she was now, but nothing like who she used to be.
Lola wondered if Jack would be there. She hadn’t seen him anywhere at school.
She wondered if his father had hurt him and the thought
caused her throat to tighten
.
Grass and dirt beneath her feet, trees all around her, Lola stopped at the clearing.
She felt him before she saw him.
The air
brought the scent of his cologne to Lola.
The rock, pale gray and jagged, held no figure.
Lola tu
rned in a circle, trying to catch
a glimpse of the boy.
“Lola.”
She whirled around, hair clinging to her lips. Lola pushed the
strands
away
.
Jack made his way around the rock and toward her.
He had on ripped jeans and a white tee shirt
; u
nlaced black boots on his feet.
Locks of black hair fell over his forehead
and his upper lip curled in its derisive way.