Read Scars of the Future Online

Authors: Kay Gordon

Scars of the Future (13 page)

I grinned as my breathing started to level out and shook my head. I gave him a gentle push and he let out a deep sigh as he stood back up. He took both of my hands in his and pulled me to my feet. I let my blouse drop from my shoulders and quickly pulled his over my head, nodding in satisfaction.

“Thanks handsome. This is much better and it smells like you.” I stepped towards him to give him another kiss, but my stomach growled loudly before my lips reached his.

Matt chuckled and gave me a quick peck on my mouth. “Let’s feed you guys before I rip it off of you. Go sit down and I’ll bring you your plate.”

I walked back into the living room. Drew was back in his chair and he just smirked at me knowingly. Sean was still in his same spot on the couch as he devoured a piece of his pizza. I sat down on the opposite end, as far from him as I could.

“Sorry Sean. Your pizza smells like feet, so I’m going to sit over here.”

He burst out laughing as he wiped his face with a napkin. “It tastes better than it smells.”

I gagged a little and shook my head. “I can’t even talk about it.”

Matt appeared from the kitchen with two plates of pizza in either hand. A bottle of beer was tucked in one armpit and a bottle of water in the other. I helped lighten his load and he sat between me and Sean as we ate. The boys chatted mindlessly about football and I just let myself discreetly lean into Matt. Eventually he lifted his arm so it was on the back of the couch behind me, allowing a little more leaning room.

I spent the rest of the evening watching football, which I didn’t really mind, next to Matt without actually touching Matt. That part I did mind. I wasn’t sure how long it took, but at some point my head became too heavy to hold up and I fell asleep against his chest. When I woke up, I was no longer on the couch but in Matt’s bed instead. He was cuddled up to my back with his arms holding me firmly to him, a light snore falling some his lips.

I turned my head to check the time and groaned when I saw it was after five in the morning. My shoes had been removed at some point, but otherwise I was fully clothed. I reveled in the feeling of Matt surrounding me and eventually had to force myself to get up. I slowly extracted my limbs from his and got out of bed. I found my missing clothing folded neatly on top of his dresser and my shoes lined up perfectly on the floor below them. I pulled my blouse and jacket back on before stepping into my shoes and moving back to the bed. I stared at his sleeping form for several long minutes as I fought the urge to climb back in next to him.

My eyes caught sight of the two tattoos I had seen briefly over the weekend but never had a chance to inspect. In an elegant script along one shoulder blade, it read ‘For those I love I will sacrifice’ and I wanted to trace the letters with my fingers. That tattoo was one-hundred percent Matthew Thomas in every way. In the same elegant script and snaking along his other shoulder blade were the words ‘Inhale the future, Exhale the past’. I stared at them for several long moments and I realized how fitting
both
quotes were to this beautiful, selfless man in front of me. I finally tore my eyes from them to lean in and kiss Matt’s cheek, letting my lips linger for a moment, before walking into the kitchen to grab my purse and keys. I was almost to the door when Matt’s voice sounded behind me.

“Are you sneaking out?”

I jumped and whirled around to look at him, my hand clutching my chest as I did so. Matt was leaning against the wall at the end of his hallway, wearing nothing but a pair of sleep shorts. I allowed myself to drink in the delectable sight of him almost naked, and my eyes raked from his lion head tattoo all the way down to where a light trail of hair disappeared under his shorts. My eyes finally moved back to his and I cleared my throat.

“Basically. I woke up late. I’d already be a mile into my run by now.” I walked back towards him and he opened his arms to pull me close.

“Sorry for falling asleep last night,” I whispered as I pressed several feather-like kisses to his bare shoulder.

“Don’t be sorry. I’m glad you came over, although my fingers hurt from trying to keep from touching you all night.” He leaned down and kissed me softly. “I can’t wait to tell everyone.”

“Me too.” I gave him one last kiss and pulled back. “I love you. I’ll call you tonight, okay?”

I moved towards the door, turning around to give him one last smile before I left.

Chapter Thirteen

I didn’t get a chance to see Matt again throughout the week and we spent a lot of time communicating by phone or text. It seemed that I was spending more time at work or the nursing home than I was at my actual house. I was exhausted to the point where Jill had found me asleep at my desk, my head resting on a stack of files.

“Baby girl, I get being tired but you are in desperate need of sleep. Pregnancy combined with your lack of food fuel and everything you’re doing between work and home is starting to wear on you.” She squeezed my shoulder gently as she moved back to her desk.

“I’m so sorry,” I said with a sigh. “I miss caffeine.”

“No need to be sorry, Amanda. I’m just worried about you. If you need to nap, go for it. Heaven knows you work hard enough already.” Jill didn’t say anything else on the subject for the rest of the week, but I made sure to be extra diligent with my work.

I knew that Matt really wanted me to tell Maddie and Sydney before our appointment on Friday, but I had to stay at work until late Wednesday and Thursday I spent with my mom. When Matt picked me up to take me to the doctor Friday, all I could do was apologize profusely the second I got into his Jeep. He didn’t complain though, Matt just wasn’t the type. I knew he was disappointed, but he reassured me that it wasn’t a big deal. Apparently he got sick of my apologies because he told me to be quiet and reached across the car to pull my face to his. We kissed for a moment, drinking each other in, and when we finally parted I grinned at him.

“I missed you, too.”

Matt let out a chuckle and kissed me one last time. “Three days is too long to go without seeing you.”

I nodded in agreement as we pulled away from my house and headed towards Dr. Eaton’s office.

As we walked into the waiting room, I gave the receptionist my name and we settled down in a couple of the chairs amongst the other women. I loved how the majority of their eyes followed Matt and they let their gazes linger on him. Most people probably would have been jealous or annoyed, but I could understand their desire. Plus, I knew I would be sleeping next to him that night and it made me feel smug. Matt didn’t take notice, though, and his eyes darted around the room nervously until I reached over to grab his hand.

“Why are you so nervous?”

He shook his head and gave me a shaky smile. “I have no idea. I just am. I haven’t felt this much nervous adrenaline since I was overseas.”

We sat in the waiting room for about fifteen minutes before we were called back. The nurse weighed me, took my blood pressure, and then settled me in a room with an ultrasound machine. I changed into a gown and sat down on the table.

Matt’s anxiety seemed to grow as we waited for the doctor, and his knee bounced restlessly against the exam table. I knew exactly how Matt was feeling, having felt that same anxiety at my first ultrasound, and I only hoped that he’d get that same calming reassurance that I had when I first saw the baby.

“Matt, deep breath,” I said quietly, running a hand down his face. He inhaled deeply twice and his knee slowed down.

“Sorry sweets,” he whispered as he leaned forward to kiss my cheek.

Two knocks sounded on the door before it opened and the doctor stepped through. Every time I saw Dr. Eaton I was still surprised by how handsome he was. I was sure when he smiled all of the girls swooned.

“Hi Amanda,” he greeted me with a grin. He looked at Matt and held out his hand. “I’m Dr. Eaton, and you must be Dad.”

“Yeah, I’m Matt,” he replied, shaking the doctor’s hand.

“Good to meet you, Matt.” The doctor turned his eyes back on me. “Amanda. Your blood pressure is a little low and you’ve lost almost fifteen pounds. Still sick?”

I nodded and let out a groan. “All of the time.”

“Can you keep anything down?”

I let out a half-nod, half-shrug. “Every now and then.”

“She vomits more up than she actually keeps down,” Matt chimed in from his chair. “She probably keeps one out of five meals down. She’s also not just tired, she’s exhausted.” He gave me a look that rivaled his mother and I rolled my eyes at him. He wasn’t going to let me downplay anything.

“Okay. My biggest worry is dehydration and malnutrition at this point. It sounds like you have Hyperemesis Gravidarum, which is basically just extreme morning sickness. Now that we’re in the second trimester I want to see you perfectly hydrated and going up in weight rather than down. Are you still running?”

I nodded again and gave him a panicked look. “Should I stop running?”

“Oh no.” He gave my naked knee a pat and Matt’s eyes followed the movement. “Running is fine since you were such an avid runner before. But I’m going to prescribe something to see if we can curb the nausea. I’d like to see you gain these fifteen pounds back. If we are still seeing a decline in weight at your next appointment we might have to see about dropping the exercising for now.”

Matt gave me a mock look of horror. “You’d have no friends left by the end of the pregnancy if you have to stop running.”

I poked his forearm while shaking my head. “Be nice, Matthew.”

“If you still can’t keep anything down after a week of this medication you need to come in so we can rehydrate you by IV, okay? So for this week, take the medication, try to keep food down, and I want to see you drinking about eighty ounces of water a day.” Dr. Eaton looked at me and I nodded in agreement.

He sat down on the stool, turning on the ultrasound machine and typing into it.

“Okay, what name are we using? Baby Franklin?” he asked, looking back at me seriously

I shook my head. “Baby Thomas.” I glanced at Matt and a huge grin had filled his face as he squeezed my hand.

“Thomas.” Dr. Eaton gave Matt a once over as he spoke. “Are you related to Linda Thomas? She’s a nurse at the hospital where you’ll be delivering.”

Matt cleared his throat. “Yeah. She’s my mother but we haven’t told her yet.”

Dr. Eaton held up the ultrasound wand with a smile. “I thought so, you resemble her a lot. Your secret is safe with me. She’s actually one of my favorite L and D nurses.” He lifted up my gown until my stomach was showing, and I was glad I’d kept my underwear on. Some cold gel was applied to my middle and Dr. Eaton placed the ultrasound wand there.

I immediately glanced at the screen, and after a moment the outline of a small head showed on it.

“There’s your baby’s profile. I’m going to be stopping to take measurements, but I’ll point out what we’re seeing when we see it.”

He moved the wand several times pointing out eyes, nose, and even little baby fingers. I looked at Matt and he was staring at the screen with a look of awe. The look of amazement stayed glued to his face as Dr. Eaton counted out organs and other teeny tiny anatomy.

“Let’s check the baby’s heartbeat, shall we?” Dr. Eaton moved the wand and a glorious sound filled the room.

“It’s so fast,” Matt spoke quietly. “Is that normal?”

Dr. Eaton glanced over at him and smiled. “Very. The heart rate is perfect. Do you want to know the sex?”

I nodded my head quickly at the same time Matt said, “Definitely.”

“Well,” Dr. Eaton said, maneuvering the wand into a different angle. “It looks like you guys are going to have a little girl.”

Tears filled my eyes and Matt’s hand clenched mine tightly.

“A girl,” he whispered softly. “We’re having a girl.” He looked over at me and wiped a tear that had fallen from my eye. “Amanda, we’re having a little girl.” He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine gently.

“She looks good, guys, and on track for January thirty-first. I’m going to print out some pictures for you and write this prescription so you’ll be good to go. Keep taking your vitamins, try to keep some food down, and let’s tentatively plan to see you in a month, Amanda. If you cannot keep two out of three meals down every day by Thursday, I want to see you Friday morning, okay?” After I agreed, the doctor gave a small wave before leaving the room.

I threw my legs over the side of the bed and stared at Matt’s happy face. He grinned at me as he brought his hands up to settle on my cheeks lightly.

“A baby girl. Our daughter. I hope she’s just like you.” He kissed my lips, the grin still on his, and handed me my clothes so I could get dressed. He didn’t say anything else, but his face was overjoyed.

Once I was dressed, we moved out to the reception area and scheduled my next appointment. She handed me an envelope and two ultrasound photos.

“These are what we call our ‘Social Media’ pictures. They don’t have all of your information on them, just the baby’s profile with your last name. We take privacy very seriously and if you ever decide to share any online, we suggest those ones. I included some regular ones in the envelope with your appointment card. We’ll see you next month.”

I thanked her before giving Matt a picture and keeping one for myself, tucking it into the back pocket of my jeans.

It was quiet in the car, but Matt’s smile still hadn’t left his face. “Let’s tell my mom at dinner tonight.”

“Can I tell the girls first? Please? They’re gonna kill me if they don’t get told before everyone else.”

Matt blew out a breath but the smile didn’t waver. “Fine, but hurry. I’m ready to burst, Manda.”

He pulled in the driveway of my house and I leaned over to give him a kiss.

“Thanks for going with me, Matty.” Before I could pull away Matt had brought me back to him for a longer, heavier kiss.

“I wish I didn’t have to go back to work. I want to take you inside and make love you to right now.”

I bit my lip and grinned. “Guess you’ll have to wait until after dinner. I’ll meet you at your mom’s, okay?”

He frowned and I knew it was because he wanted us to ride together.

“We’ll tell everyone soon, Matt. I promise.” I gave him another sweet kiss before I hopped out of his car.

He didn’t leave until I had the front door open, and I waved as he drove away. I kicked my shoes off before immediately heading for the couch. I turned on the TV, not intending to watch it, and cuddled with a pillow. The couch wasn’t comfortable at all but I didn’t care. It couldn’t have been more than a few minutes later that I fell asleep.

When I woke up, I could tell I was late for dinner. The sunlight had dimmed and a glance at the clock told me it was almost six-thirty. I grabbed my phone, ignoring the missed calls and texts, and sent a quick message to Matt to let him know I was running late. I hurried upstairs to put on a shirt that was loose in the front, stuffed my feet in my shoes, and headed to my car.

I pulled up at Linda’s house and parked in a free spot along the curb, getting out quickly. Dinner at Linda’s always started at six, and I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been late. I spotted Maddie’s car, David’s SUV, Sean’s sports car, and Matt’s Jeep. I was the last one there.

I knocked on the front door and Craig answered with a huge smile on his face.

“Hey, you’re late.”

I gave him a quick hug and smiled before dropping my purse with Maddie and Sydney’s inside the door.

“I know, I’m sorry.” I followed him into the dining room and waved to everyone. “I’m sorry guys. I fell asleep on my couch and woke up late.”

Linda stood up and gave me a hug before gesturing to the table. “No need to apologize, Amanda. Come sit down and eat.”

“Let me grab a drink really quick.” I moved back into the kitchen and reached up into the top cupboard to grab a glass. A muscled arm reached the cup first, and I turned to see my smiling boyfriend behind me.

“Hey, I was worried about you.” His voice was quiet as he wrapped his arms around me, his body pressed against mine as I leaned back against the counter. I wanted to close my eyes and just savor the moment, but I had a feeling we wouldn’t be left alone for long.

“I’m sorry. I think I fell asleep before you were out of the driveway.” I stretched my neck to kiss his lips softly and he trailed his hands down my back until they were settled at my ass, squeezing gently. I pulled my mouth from his and gave his chest a light push.

He shot me another smile as he retreated back into the dining room, and I followed with my glass full of ice water.

Linda’s table used to only seat eight people and the seats were hardly ever occupied before we were out of college. Recently, however, she and Craig had upgraded to one that seated twelve, and it was usually close to full. Tonight it sat ten people: Linda, Craig, Josh, Maddie, Sydney, David, Claire, Sean, Matt, and myself. I took the seat between Matt and Sean, stopping to bend and give everyone hugs as I did. Maddie’s squeeze was tightest and I tried to remember the last time we’d gone two weeks without seeing each other before this.

The conversation buzzed as we all ate and Matt’s hand didn’t leave my thigh once. The smile he’d been wearing at our ultrasound had fizzled a little, but I could still see traces of it when I looked at him. A few times he caught my eyes and I had to resist the urge to lean in to kiss him.

Maddie and Josh told us stories of their cruise, and if anything they looked more in love now that they were home. I decided that marriage looked amazing on my best friend.

“She was very brave until the dolphin popped out of the water behind her. I didn’t even know her voice could reach the pitch that her scream hit.” Josh said, laughing as his wife threw her napkin at him.

“It was unexpected, jerk.” She tried to sound mad but her smile said otherwise.

Linda stood up to head to the kitchen as she said something about dessert. Claire squealed happily, clapping her hands together, and I exchanged a smile with Sydney. When Linda came back in the dining room, she wasn’t holding any dessert but instead a little square piece of paper.

She stared at it silently and a smile slowly filled her face. Her eyes met Maddie’s and she covered her mouth with her hand. “You’re going to have a baby?”

My eyes widened and I felt Matt go rigid next to me. I shifted forward to reach into my back pocket and realized the ultrasound photo was gone, probably lost when Matt had his hands on me in the kitchen.

Maddie stared at her mom in confusion. “What?”

“You and Josh are going to have a baby.” Linda’s happiness poured into her voice and everyone around the table started murmuring with excitement. Josh and Maddie exchanged confused looks and she shook her head quickly.

“I’m not pregnant, Mom.

Linda held up the ultrasound for everyone to see and her eyebrows pinched together. “It says ‘Baby Thomas.’”

I glanced at Matt and he smiled, just shrugging his shoulders at me. I tilted my head towards his mom, giving him the non-verbal go-ahead.

“Ma, Maddie’s last name is Richards.” The smile was still on his face as he spoke to his mother. “My last name is Thomas, though.”

Linda’s eyes snapped to Matt and she shook her head. “Wait, what?”

“Little Baby Thomas is mine.” The proud tone that laced Matt’s voice wasn’t missed by anyone.

Everyone just stared at Matt in confusion and I opened my mouth to speak, but Maddie beat me to it.

“Kristen’s pregnant?”

Matt froze at Maddie’s assumption and I cringed inwardly, catching Josh’s sympathetic eye. I felt Matt’s fingers tighten on my thigh and I placed my napkin on the table before pushing out of my seat. Slowly, I pulled my shirt up to reveal my round bump that held our baby.

I heard at least three people gasp, but I wasn’t sure where they all came from. Other than those gasps, everyone remained quiet. I glanced at Maddie, who had her both of her hands covering her mouth as she stared at my stomach. A look to Sydney showed a huge smile spread across her face and her hands clasped together. I chanced a peek over to Linda and she still looked very confused. Matt’s hand moved to rest on my stomach and it seemed to snap everyone out of it.

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