She groaned and covered her eyes with her arm. “Oh God, my legs hurt so bad. I hate you. I really… just…
hate
you.”
I smiled wider. “You wanted to get back into shape.”
Not that there had ever been anything wrong with her shape, not at all. Her legs were perfectly toned and the object of many, many of my fantasies. She had a tiny little waist that was begging my tongue to trace every inch of it. Or maybe it was my tongue begging for it. Either way, she was fucking perfect and I wanted her so badly I had to take at least one ice cold shower every damn day.
“I take it back. A toned body is so overrated. No more, Logan. If you so much as want me to look at a cross trainer I
will
kill you.”
“Well,” I said and clapped my hands, “it’s good that you’re not overreacting.”
“You don’t understand the pain.”
I did. I understood perfectly and she knew that but she did like to get a little dramatic. It was cute and just another thing to add to the list of
Things Logan Adores About Chloe
. The list was long, and I was going to hell.
When Jace died I either worked out until my muscles screamed in pain or drank until my liver did. Chloe brought me back without knowing it at the time and stopped me fathering about seventy kids, too, I imagine. If I kept on the way I was going – whisky and women – I would be dishing out thousands in child support by now. The alcohol relieved the guilt but since I’d given it up – mostly – I felt like a proper bastard every second of the day.
“You want to hit the shower, then go home?”
“No. I want to lay here until I can feel my legs again. Possibly until morning.”
“People are looking at you.”
She shrugged one shoulder lazily. “Right now I don’t care if they’re dancing around me singing Kumbaya.”
I laughed, staring down at her and trying to keep my eyes off her cleavage and that sexy gap between her legs. “If you don’t get up I’ll sing Kumbaya.”
“So? You have a nice voice, that won’t get me up.”
She was being impossible. “I’ll pick you up, strip you and chuck you in the shower if I have to.”
And I would like that very, very much.
I held my breath as I waited for a reply. If she told me to I would. There was no fucking way if she asked me to strip her down to her birthday suit and get her all wet I would be able to resist. I was the lowest of the low.
Brother’s girl. Brother’s fucking girl.
“You can carry me to the changing rooms but I’m pretty sure you’ll get fired if you come in.”
I literally don’t care.
“Fine,” I huffed, pretending to be annoyed. Reaching down, I scooped her into my arms and carried her to the ladies’ changing room.
My supervisor didn’t bat an eyelid as I walked past, probably because I’d worked here forever and had covered his arse when he was off screwing the January women. Most people felt down in January, Christmas was over and it was still freezing. January brought women that wanted to get fit – for what usually lasted one to two months tops. January was Patrick’s Christmas.
I put her down outside the door and she groaned as her feet touched the floor. The sound was almost erotic and alongside the mental image of her naked in the shower, I was not doing well to keep my hormones in check.
“Gotta shower, too,” I said and got the hell out of there as fast as I could. Today’s cold shower was going to be lot earlier than usual.
I met Chloe by my car. She was curled up
on
the bonnet. “Good thing you weigh nothing,” I said, unlocking the doors.
“If you ever suggest a heavy workout again…”
Holding my hands up, I replied, “Got it. You used to do that all the time, Chlo.”
“I used to be fit.”
You’ve always been fit.
“You’ll get there again.”
She flicked her hand in my direction. “Especially with the drill sergeant training me.”
“Hey,
you
asked for this.”
“Yeah, nice one, Chloe,” she muttered. “Can we go back to yours and not move off the sofa until Cass feeds us?”
“Sounds like a plan to me.”
“And I’ll need a smoothie,” she said, rolling off my car onto her feet. “And a blanket.”
“Wow, you’re going to milk this all day, aren’t you?”
“Yes.”
I drove us back to mine and took photos of Chlo hobbling to the door like a little old lady, earning me a slap on the chest and the second death threat of the day.
“Chloe, are you okay?” Mum asked her.
I rolled my eyes.
Here we go…
“No. Logan is evil.”
Mum smiled. “Oh, you’ve just been to the gym.”
“Gym, hell, it’s all the same,” Chloe replied and sank down on the sofa.
“She’s handling it really well,” I said sarcastically. “Banana and strawberry or cherry and kiwi?”
“Banana and strawberry, please.”
Mum followed me into the kitchen.
“It’s good she’s getting back into fitness.”
“Yeah, it is.”
“It’s because of you, you know.”
I carried on shoving the strawberries in the blender. “What?”
“You brought her back.”
I smiled up at Mum. “I owed her one.”
“Oh, come on, Logan. No need to play it down. That girl is happy again because you wouldn’t let her wallow anymore. I’m proud of you.”
Yeah, well, I love her so I don’t really have a choice.
I needed her to be okay. Jace would have needed her to be okay.
“Thanks,” I said, peeling a banana. “Something had to change or Chloe was going to waste her life away hiding at home and I was going to die of alcohol poisoning.”
“I was so worried about you, Logan. Your dad, too.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have put you both through that. It’s just… the guilt…”
“I understand. It’s all worked out for the best now. I’ve got my son and my surrogate daughter back.” I would’ve preferred daughter-in-law.
“Yeah, things are good.” They had been for a few months now. Finally. Well, apart from her wanting to see other guys. I wanted her to be happy and not drown in depression from missing Jace, but I didn’t want her to be with anyone but me.
If Jace didn’t hate me for the last things I’d said to him he had every right to for how I felt about Chloe. Only I knew he wouldn’t. He loved me and her and if it couldn’t be him he’d want it to be me. If it was the other way around I’d want the woman I loved to be with a person I trusted with my life. It was hard to detach that knowledge from the guilt of wanting his girl, though.
“Smoothie?” I asked.
“No, thanks, love. What’s next for you then?”
Ah, I loved that question when I was so far away from reaching my goals. It was like a little kick in the balls every time someone asked.
“Save money. Buy a house. You want me out soon or something?” I drank a lot of my savings after Jace died. All I cared about was going out and getting so drunk I didn’t remember my brother had died, I’d been a dick to him and wanted to kiss his girlfriend.
“Of course not. This is your home and you’ll always be welcome here, same as Cassie. I just like to know what’s going on in my son’s head.”
God, she did not want to know that. Truth was, she probably knew already. Not once had she ever said anything about me having feelings for Chloe but there had been looks. Looks that made me want to bash my head against the wall. She knew. I wasn’t sure if it was a good thing that she never questioned me on it.
I flicked the blender on and watched for the perfect consistency. Mum didn’t leave and I was starting to feel a bit awkward.
“Work okay?”
I turned the blender off. “Spit it out, Mum.”
Sighing, she sat down on the stool. “Are you really okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“Chloe mentioned she might have a date.”
“Yeah, she does have a date. Rhys from work. I’m gonna check him out with Ollie tomorrow, make sure he’s alright.”
“It’s going to be strange, isn’t it?”
“Seeing her with someone that isn’t Jace?”
“Yes. They came as a package for so long.”
I poured the smoothie into a tall glass, contemplating smashing it over my head. “Yeah, they did.”
“Do you think she’ll still come here?”
Oh, that’s what’s wrong.
Chloe was like a daughter to her and she didn’t want to lose her, too.
“I don’t think we’re ever getting rid of that girl.” Mostly because I would never let her leave. Like a deranged stalker I would keep her in our lives.
Mum smiled, seemingly satisfied by my answer. “Yes, good. Things were awful without her.”
I could barely remember, but when I was sober I know I’d missed her. Then I drank more because I felt even guiltier.
Mum followed me back into the living room and sat in her chair by the window.
“Back in the gym tomorrow, Chloe?” she asked.
Chlo laughed. “Not a chance.”
I handed her the smoothie and received one of her heart-stopping smiles that I would do anything for. “Come on, you’ll seize up if you don’t continue.”
“Logan, my muscles feel like they’re on fire. I can barely walk. The only exercise I’ll be doing tomorrow is lifting the TV remote.” She laughed then. “Okay, I sound like Jace.”
I loved that she could laugh when she spoke about him now. We all could. It was such a huge difference to crying, drinking, hiding, pretending it hadn’t happened and screaming. We all dealt with it in different ways.
“You do. You know every time you and Logan went on a run or to the gym he’d call you both crazy, grab a snack and sit down in front of the TV.”
“The little… He told me he was doing college work,” Chloe said. “I should’ve known really.”
I kicked my feet up on the coffee table. “I think he was allergic to exercise. He should’ve been fat, eating junk all the time and laying around the house.”
“That was probably all down to Chloe,” Mum said, wiggling her eyebrows.
I tried to keep a straight face as my lunch came back up to meet my throat. It bothered me back then and it still did. She was always supposed to be with me and if I hadn’t been such a dick trying to deny it I could’ve told Jace that I liked her and he never would have gone there. I didn’t, so he did and then all I could do was keep my mouth shut and let my brother be happy.
Chloe blushed and laughed along with Mum. I knew if I forced out a laugh it’d sound wrong so I kept quiet. He was my brother after all so I could get away with thinking that was gross.
Dad hopped over the arm of the sofa and sat beside Mum. “Me and Daryl have been speaking and we’d like to do something for his birthday.”
The last two birthdays were hell. It’d be good to do something that would honour his memory.
“That sounds really nice,” Chlo said. “What were you thinking?”
“London,” she replied.
I frowned. Why the fuck would we visit the city where he died for his birthday? Then I got it. “Right. The architecture.” Mum nodded. Jace loved big, fancy buildings and wanted to do something in that line of work when he was older. It was also what killed him. If he hadn’t been on that stupid fucking college trip he would still be here today.
Chloe nodded. “He wanted to go for a week, do the tourist bit and take pictures of the architecture. We planned to go after uni.”
Mum reached over and squeezed her hand as if she expected Chlo to fall apart. She really was okay now. I was so fucking proud of how far she’d come and how she handled Jace’s death.
“We’ll go for the weekend and do what he wanted. He mentioned a few places.”
“He has a list. We planned the trip quite thoroughly. Well, he did, I just wanted to go to Madam Tussauds and have a photo with David Beckham,” Chlo said. “I have the list at home.”
I threw my arm over the back of the sofa. “I’m sure we can find time to take you to the creepy wax place.” I’d actually love to take her there. There weren’t many things I could do with her that she hadn’t already done with Jace, especially as friends. I bet there was a whole load of things I could do with and to her that she hadn’t done with him if we were more than friends.
“Of course,” Mum said, forcing me back to reality and away from the place in my mind where Chloe was handcuffed to my bed, naked. “We can go on the London Eye, too.”
Cassie walked into the room and snorted. “I’ll wait for you guys at the bottom.”
Big fucking baby.
“So you’ll all come?” Mum asked. “I understand that it’s an odd choice but I’d really like to do something that was important to him.”
We agreed, of course, and Mum started to tear up.
“See, Julia, there was no way they wouldn’t want to do this for him, too. You were fretting over nothing, love,” Dad said, giving her a side hug.
Yeah, it was going to be… great…?