Second Touch (Emma's Arabian Nights, #2) (6 page)

“Kind of.” Emma grabbed the bottle from Moira and took a big swig. “But it doesn’t really matter. I can’t deal with it.”

“Okay, let me ask you this - in a perfect world, what would you need in order to have Ryan and work here?”

It took her a moment to answer the question because she’d never really thought of it in terms of making it work together. In her mind it was always one or the other. “Well, I don’t know. I mean I would like…I guess I would need him to be okay with me topping other people.”

“So how would you do that?”

“I’d have to know that he really meant it if he said he was cool with it. That he wasn’t just saying that to make me feel better because that would be a lie and you can’t base a relationship on lies. But how the hell would I know for sure that he’d be cool with it? I mean I can’t exactly have him do scenes with me. I’m afraid he’d kick my client’s ass.”

“Is he a voyeur at all?”

“I don’t know. We never really discussed if he’d like to see me spank another dude,” she answered in a snarky voice.

“Sounds to me like you need to do that. Look, you’re obviously miserable and I know you’ve been pining after this guy like the heroine in an old time romance movie. Put your big girl panties on and at least talk to him. I mean he’s left you like what, a hundred voice mails? Obviously he wants to see you again. And what’s the worst that could happen? That he wouldn’t want to see you anymore? Well, you’re already fucking doing that. Jesus, relationships make the smartest people into such dumbasses.”

Emma sighed and flopped back into the pillows, looking at the lacy canopy stretching over the bed. “So what am I supposed to do? Call him up and ask him if the thought of another guy eating my pussy gets him off?”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Moira replied with a musing tone in her voice.

“What?”

“I’m having a party on Thursday. Why don’t you bring him with you? You know that I always have a lot of good voyeur/exhibitionist stuff going on. Bring him with you and test the waters. Chris and Tanya will be there, they’ll be perfect to play with. If he freaks out, well at least I’ll be there to force feed you ice cream and Valium. If he doesn’t, then you guys can discuss a possible solution to your problems.”

“Right, I should just bring him to a BDSM party and then go sit on some guys face and watch his reaction.”

“I swear to God I’m going to grab my crop in a minute and beat the stupid out of you. Look, just call the guy and invite him to come to the party with you. If you guys end up only playing with each other you’ll still have a good time. You know I don’t throw shitty parties and three of my boys will be there. I can lend any of them to you and you know they won’t get all clingy and shit. Look, sweetheart, it’s not like he has no idea who you are or what you do for a living like your past booty calls. He obviously likes you enough to court you despite your job.”

The idea was tempting, but Emma was so emotionally drained that she could barely think. “Court me? Who is he? Mr. Darcy?”

“Bitch.” Moira gathered her into a hug and Emma rested her head on her friend’s soft chest. “But you’re my bitch. Call the man, please. You’re brokenhearted moping is driving me bat shit crazy.”

“What if he wants to play with another Domme? I couldn’t handle that, Moira.”

“Duh. You negotiate with him before you come to the party. Do exactly what you tell your clients to do, be honest, be brave, and tell the man what you really want. Take your own fucking advice for once.”

“You make it sound so easy.”

“It
is
so easy.”

“Do you really think he’d come?”

“Honey, I think that man would drag himself with his tongue across a room of broken glass for a chance to tap that round ass.”

“That’s just nasty.” She moved out of Moira’s arms and gave her friend a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks for talking me off the ledge.”

“My pleasure. Hell, you’ve done this for me enough. I kinda like being on the other side of this conversation. Makes me feel all mature and shit.”

Emma laughed, surprised that she felt good enough to actually smile. “God forbid.”

“No kidding. So, you going to call him?”

“Yes.” She took a deep breath and felt worlds better as the decision sank into her.

“Good. I can’t wait to see you ride that man.” Moira gave a little shudder and a ravenous look came into her eyes. “Fuckin’A, you better call him or I’ll just kidnap him and throw him at you.”

“You are so deranged.”

“Yep, and that’s why you love me.”

With a sigh Emma gathered her robe around her, wondering how the hell she was going to ask Ryan to come to the play party with her after not talking with him for two weeks.

The next morning, Emma stared at her phone like it was a poisonous snake about to strike out at her. It was a warm, beautiful summer morning and she had the patio door open, allowing the noise of the busy street to filter in. She wished she had the view from her deck of Lake Michigan that her parents did instead of a crowded intersection, but that was life. Instead of sulking over it she crossed her legs in her oversized cream leather chair and grabbed her phone, scrolling to Ryan’s last incoming call before hitting the button that dialed his number.

Her hand trembled as she held the phone to her ear. It only rang twice before Ryan answered.

“Hello, Emma.”

A tingle raced through her system as adrenaline and happy hormones filled her blood at the sound of his sexy-as-hell voice. “Hi, Ryan.”

Words fled her as she struggled to remember the smooth speech she had ready to invite Ryan to the party. Just hearing his voice struck her dumb. He cleared his throat. “Thank you for calling me. I was afraid I’d blown any chance of seeing you again.”

The vulnerability in his tone helped her find her center and calm down a little bit. She had to admit it was weird that other people being scared made her feel stronger, but that’s how it worked with her. A protective streak a mile wide and deep made up part of the center of who she was and Ryan was obviously feeling hurt and unsure.

“No, you didn’t. I just needed a few days to collect myself.”

“How have you been?”

“Fine,” she lied through her teeth. “And you?”

His sigh came through loud and clear. “I’ve been driving myself crazy missing you.”

“Oh.”

“Do you miss me? Wait, never mind, pretend I didn’t ask that. I’m just happy to hear your voice.”

“It’s okay, Ryan. I did miss you.” She leaned back in the chair and slung one of her legs over the side. “I’d like to see you again, if you’re up to it.”

“Really?” His surprise made her smile for the first time in what felt like days. “Of course. When?”

His obvious eagerness sent a warm wave of happiness through her, easing her tense muscles, then she remembered what she was about to ask him and all humor fled, replaced by a case of the nerves. “Are you doing anything tomorrow night?”

“No.”

“Would you like to go to a party with me?”

“Of course. When and where?”

The beat of her pulse was so loud in her ears she felt like he could probably hear it on the other end. “Moira, my friend from Kiss of Blue, is having a private party. A play party.”

Silence filled the line and she had to close her eyes as she waited for his answer. “I’d love to go with you, Emma, but I have a few questions. I’m assuming I’d be going as your submissive?”

“Yes.”

“Okay…so…uh, should we negotiate or something?”

Back on familiar ground, she smiled and let out a soft sigh of relief. “Of course. This will be a private party at Moira’s house with probably around twenty other couples there plus the odd single Dominant and submissive.”

“What usually goes on there? I’ve been to private play parties before, but I know they’re all different.”

“Well, Moira is a big time voyeur; it’s her kink of choice, so there will be lots of public play. If you’re not okay with that it’s totally fine, we don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.”

“And what about you, Emma, are you an exhibitionist? Do you want me to watch you?”

The careful way he said that set off silent alarms in her mind. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, I find the idea of watching you take your pleasure to be really hot.” He gave a soft, husky laugh that gave her goosebumps. “It’s a newly discovered side of myself.”

“What do you mean by ‘take my pleasure’?”

“I was thinking that if you wanted to play with someone while I watched I might be cool with that. I know this may be out of line, but I’d like to approve anyone before you play with them.”

“What kind of play?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. Well, wait, I do know one thing, I don’t want them to fuck you. But oral, fingers, that kind of stuff, I think it might be hot.”

“Ryan, are you sure about this? You don’t strike me as the sharing type.”

“I’m not, but if I’m there, watching you…it makes me hard. Really fucking hard.”

“What if I want you to play with someone else?”

“I’d be on board for having a third, but I don’t want to do anything without you involved.” He laughed. “This is kind of surreal.”

“How so?”

“This conversation. I’ve never been comfortable enough to talk with anyone like this, at least not anyone I’ve cared about like I care for you.”

Her silly heart fluttered and she tried to keep the smile out of her voice. “You care about me?”

“Emma,” he said in a soft, scolding tone, “you know I worship you.”

She couldn’t think of what to say to that other than she worshiped him back, but there was no way she was letting him know he had that much control over her, at least not yet, not until she could see if he could back up his words with his actions. He was talking the talk right now, but she wasn’t sure if he was trying to tell her what he thought she wanted to hear or if he really meant it. What he was saying sounded too good to be true, and she had a hard time believing he was suddenly cool with sharing her.

She stood up and began to pace, the nervous energy filling her and needing an outlet. “What if we get there and I don’t want to do anything other than watch?”

Ryan sighed. “What if
I
get there and
I
don’t want to do anything other than watch? I trust you not to push me into doing something you know would hurt me, and not in a good way. I hope you can trust me to do the same.” His voice lowered, moving over her body like a caress, becoming so seductive her pussy clenched in need. “Emma, this is all about your pleasure. I want you to have everything you’ve ever wanted, everything you’ve denied yourself for fear of what others will think about you. I won’t judge you for your desires. Give me your most wicked fantasies and I’ll do everything in my power to make them reality, as long as we enjoy them together. That’s the only thing that matters to me, experiencing them with you.”

It was official, Ryan was the sexiest man on earth.

After swallowing hard a few times she found her voice and the courage to open herself up the tiniest bit to him, to trust him with her real self. “Look, Ryan, I’m going to level with you. I’m afraid that if you see me with someone else you aren’t going to like it, but you’ll hide it from me in some misplaced attempt to be what you think I want. If you do that you will doom any chance at a relationship with me. I can’t stand dishonesty, and lying about something turning you on when you actually hate it isn’t going to work. So please, promise me you’ll be honest.”

He made a frustrated noise. “Emma, I am being honest. Seeing you put someone through their paces, knowing you’ll come to me after to find your satisfaction, makes me hard as a fucking steel bar.”

“But you don’t know for sure, Ryan. All you have is your fantasies. You’ve never actually had to watch me touch anyone.”

He was silent for a long time and she stared out her window, watching the traffic move along the street. “You’re right, I don’t know for sure, but we’ll never know if we don’t try. Hell, the only thing I need to be happy is you. Everything else is just superfluous bullshit. You are what matters to me, Emma, you and your happiness. That was true in high school and it’s true now. You have no idea how special you are to me. Just give me a chance to prove it, take me to the party with you as your submissive, and I promise you I’ll be totally honest if you promise me the same.”

She closed her eyes and tried to keep her throat from closing up with unshed tears. “Okay.”

“I do have one request.”

“What’s that?”

“Will you give me something to mark me as belonging to you? I want everyone there to know that you’re my Mistress, that you own my body and heart, because it’s true. It doesn’t have to be a collar, I know that for some people a collar is something that’s earned over time, but I want some visible mark of your ownership.”

His request struck all the right notes in her heart and she blew out a harsh breath. He was right, collaring a submissive did mean something serious to her and she wasn’t quite ready for that step with him. In some ways him wearing her collar was just as serious as her wearing his engagement ring. She had to laugh at herself as she got a giddy, totally girly thrill from imagining having his ring on her finger.

“I’ll think of something. Are you sure about this? I really don’t want you to feel any pressure for us to attend. If you just wanted to go on a regular vanilla date that would be totally fine.”

“Relax, it’s okay, I promise. I’m not going to freak out and run screaming like a virgin walking into an orgy. This won’t be the first play party I’ve been to. During my training I went to plenty of parties with Mistress Dawn and her submissive boyfriend, and I didn’t just watch.”

She didn’t like the thought of Ryan playing with another Domme. Yes, she appreciated the fact that the other woman had obviously done a good job with his training, but he was hers now, and she didn’t like imagining him having sex with this faceless Mistress Dawn. A hard ball of jealousy settled in her stomach at the thought of Ryan touching the mysterious Domme who had no doubt had the pleasure of fucking him. “Let me make something clear right now, I don’t want you playing with another Domme. You are mine, do you understand?
Mine
.”