“Rightfully so,” Ian said. Stirring the teaspoon in his mug, he looked out the window. “Does Will still live above your garage?”
“How do you know about Will?” she asked, and looked to Roy, who kept his eyes focused on the plate of croissants. Why were they both stalling?
“I know everything about you, Celeste. I’ve made it my business.”
“Why?”
“Did you like growing up in Wissota Falls?”
“Yes.”
“Do you still like living here? You had a wonderful job in Madison after you’d graduated from college.”
“Stop answering me with more questions,” she demanded, crinkling the water bottle in her hand. “How do you know so much about me?”
“I told you, I’ve made it my business.”
“Again. Why?”
He looked at her then, and the regret, the guilt in his eyes made her downright angry. “You’ve come into my house with more questions than answers. It’s time for you to either leave or say whatever it is you have to say.”
A wistful smile crossed his lips. “So much like your mother,” he said, then with a deep sigh he leaned back in the chair. “That case I’d asked your mother to help me with wouldn’t have been solved without her. She was good. Very good. As a medium, your mom was able to slip into these trances and connect with the victims. Something Roy told me you’ve been doing with his current investigation.”
“I’ve been
doing
that, but I didn’t
do
it on purpose.”
“Neither did your mom at first, from what she explained to me. Somehow she’d learned to control the trances. Her ability to connect with the dead helped lead me to the killer I’d spent over two years tracking. During the time we spent together, your mom and I grew close. Actually, from the moment I met her, I knew I was a goner. She was a beautiful woman. Smart. Strong. I loved her dearly. I still do.” He cleared his throat. “Because of her, I was able to catch my killer, and secure my career.”
“Why do I feel like there’s a big ‘but’ coming?”
“Because there is.” He leaned forward, resting his arms on the table. “What I didn’t know was that Seth Ryker, a psychiatrist who had also worked with me a time or two, had learned about Janice. See, we’re going back thirty years, before we had a profilers unit. So I would consult with Ryker, hoping to gain some insight on who I’d been looking for. Only...only when he learned about your mom...”
“He what?” she prompted.
“He’d been running experiments on people who claimed to have psychic powers. I didn’t know this, and while I had been chasing after my killer, he kidnapped Janice.” A visible shudder tore through him. “When I found out, I was deep undercover, getting ready to make the biggest bust of my career.”
Her heart rate shot up as she stared at him. Her mom had been kidnapped? Why would she have hidden any of this from her?
“I made the biggest mistake of my life that day.” Guilt lined his face as he ran the tip of his finger along the gnome etched on his coffee mug. “Instead of going after the woman I loved, I called Roy and your dad, and told them to handle it. To do whatever was necessary to get your mom back.”
She looked to Roy then, who gave her a sharp nod. “Hugh and I, along with a couple of other agents, stormed that bastard’s house. He not only had your mom, but five other people. Those victims he’d kidnapped didn’t fare as well as Janice. He’d given two of them lobotomies, and the rest electric shock treatment. Fortunately he hadn’t had a chance to run any of his experiments on your mom. Especially because…” He looked to Ian.
Silence filled the room.
“Especially what?” she asked, glancing between Roy and Ian.
Ian sighed and gripped her hand. “Especially because she was pregnant with you.”
She pulled her hand free of Ian’s. “That doesn’t make any sense.” The man was slime. He’d left her mom helpless while he’d gotten his shot at a serial killer her mom had helped him find. He’d had her dad and Roy rescue her while...a thought occurred to her.
A dreadful thought.
Her stomach did a triple somersault, and her head grew dizzy. She dropped the water bottle on the table, and glared at Ian. “If you were having an affair with my mom when all of this happened, when did my dad come into the picture?”
Ian held her gaze, his eyes didn’t shift, but the emotions raging through them were enough to make her gasp. “No.” She shook her head, and rose.
He stopped her. “Celeste, I am your father.”
A hysterical bubble of laughter welled in her throat. She suddenly pictured the scene in
Star Wars
between Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader. Composing herself she looked at the slimy trash who’d been sipping coffee, her coffee, and narrowed her gaze.
“Get out.”
His eyes flashed with disappointment. “What?”
“You heard me. Get out. Now.”
Roy laid a hand on her shoulder. “Celeste, honey, it’s all true.”
She stared at the man who’d been like an uncle to her. Tears welled in her eyes, distorting the room. “Roy...I...”
“I know it’s hard to accept. Sit down, and let’s sort this out.”
“Sort what out?” she shouted, and wanted to shout some more. Her fucking life had been a lie. She turned to Ian. “And you. So you know all about me. Know about my brother. Do you know about my sister, too?”
“Of course I keep tabs on Eden. After all, we live in the same city.”
“You live in Chicago?” She couldn’t hide the hurt in her voice. This man, her supposed biological father, had only been hours away and he’d never once contacted her?
“I would have come to you sooner, but your mom made it clear she wanted nothing to do with me. The only time I ever laid eyes on you was right after you were born. By that time, your mom was head over heels in love with your dad. She made me promise that I’d never contact you, that I’d never interfere with your life.”
“Why?” God, she was going to fall apart. This was all too much. She needed John. In a bad way. He had such a logical spin on things and just being near him gave her a calming effect.
“I chose my career over your mom, Celeste. I was selfish and self-centered. I was young and stupid. If only you knew the regret that has tormented me for thirty years. I hated not being part of your life, to have to watch you grow from a distance.” He grabbed her hand, his grip gentle, yet his eyes fierce. “Janice denied me the right to be her husband. That I could accept. But she denied me
you.
That was unacceptable. And that’s also why Roy has been here, in Wissota Falls all these years. I needed to know how you were, what you were up to, every scraped knee, lost tooth, all of it.”
She gasped and shifted her gaze toward Roy. Disappointment and betrayal rolling through her, as the tears spilled down her cheeks. “You pretended to care so he could keep
tabs
on me?”
“I never
pretended
anything when it came to you,” Roy said with vehemence. “And don’t you
ever
think otherwise. I love you, Celeste, like the daughter I’ve never been blessed to have.” He squeezed her other hand. “What Ian gave me, this job as sheriff, and a chance to be a part of you and your family’s life, has been the best thing that could have ever happened for me. I wasn’t cut out for the FBI. Janice, your dad, and Ian, they all knew that. I’ve never once regretted what I’ve been doing the last thirty years, until now.” He caught one of her tears. “Seeing you cry, and the way you’re looking at me like I just smashed one of your gnomes, is making my heart break.”
She hiccupped and released a shaky laugh. “You’d never smash one of my gnomes. I think you bought half of them.”
Seconds passed. “You mad at me?” he asked.
Squeezing his hand back, she looked away. “Yes, no. I don’t know what to feel right now.” She shifted her gaze to Ian. “Does my dad know the truth?”
“Yes. He’d always thought you should know, but your mom was a stubborn woman.”
She looked to Roy for assurance. “He’s not kidding. I tried to convince her, too. But Janice wouldn’t hear of it. The arguments Hugh and I had over you...well, they don’t matter now. The bottom line, your mom was afraid that if you knew the truth, she might lose you to Ian. She knew how much you’d been itching to leave Wissota Falls. When your sister went off to Chicago, she worried you might follow. She worried you’d run into Ian considering he knows Eden.”
“You said you’d kept tabs on her, but do you actually
know
her?” she asked Ian.
“We’re well acquainted, but she doesn’t know how well. I made a promise to your mom, after all.”
This was all way too much to handle. She wanted to hate Ian. She wanted to rant at Roy. Everything she’d believed about her family had been a lie. She couldn’t do either, though. Her mom
was
a stubborn woman, with a vindictive streak than ran bone-deep. Ian had wronged her mom. She’d been pregnant with his child and he’d left her to tackle a career-building case. As her thoughts raced through her mind, a big one came front and center.
“How did my dad end up marrying my mom over you?”
Ian released a slow breath. “Hugh and I had entered the academy together. We were great friends, and after I met your mom, we’d argued constantly. We’d both fallen for Janice. I’d see the way he looked at her, at the way she looked at him. I’m a competitive, shallow man, Celeste.”
“No shit,” Roy mumbled.
Ian glared at him for a second, then looked back to her. “I wanted her, but not the white picket fence, and two point five kids she had been looking for. Your dad wanted those same things. Even when I knew they’d be better together, I pulled out the charm. I didn’t know she was pregnant with you when she’d been kidnapped. If I did, I’ll be honest, I’m not sure if I’d have done anything differently. Like I said, I was dumb and full of myself. My career meant more to me than anything else, until I lost your mom to Hugh.”
A deep scowl lined his face as he slipped his hand from hers and leaned back in the chair. “After that, my career did rise, but with nobody to share the success with, it didn’t seem to matter. I kept at it, though. For years I did my job, lost the passion, then finally quit and created CORE.”
“CORE? Oh my...” She looked to Roy, who stared at Ian as if he wanted to smash
him
into pieces. “
You
sent John here?”
“When Roy told me about your visions, then the bodies, I needed to make sure you were well taken care of.”
John took care of her all right. In more ways than one. Her stomach twisted, as her head grew dizzy with the deceit. John had been Ian’s babysitter. Not her lover. He’d used her. God, he’d
used
her. “You have to leave,” she said, fighting back the fresh tears, the pain. She’d fallen in love with John, and he’d—
Ian stopped her. “No. And don’t you believe for one second what you have with John is because he works for me. He doesn’t know about any of this. But Roy has been keeping me posted on your relationship with him. Not that I have any say, but I approve. He’s a good man. He deserves a good woman.”
The relief that slammed into her had her sitting back down in the chair. John didn’t know. Which meant what was between them was just that. Between them.
“I still think you should leave. No offense, but you’ve turned my entire life upside down. I need time to...accept this. God, I need to talk to my dad.”
Ian didn’t appear to be offended. Instead, he offered her a smile. “I understand. But I also understand you’ve been having issues with your trances. Like your mom, you’re obviously a medium, too. I can help you with that, Celeste. I worked with your mom. Watched and witnessed her trances and visions. I can help you.”
She looked to Roy, who nodded. “It’s true. He knows more about your mom’s psychic stuff than your dad and I put together.”
As much as she wanted time alone to deal with what she’d learned this morning, she couldn’t help but take the bait. She did want to know how to deal with her trances. Her mom wasn’t here. And Ian—as much as she didn’t want to deal with him right now—might be her only source. “Then tell me.”
“I will. But on a few conditions.”
She shook her head. “Dropping all of this on me isn’t good enough?”
“This isn’t how I wanted to introduce myself to you. And trust me, I’ve dreamed of this moment since you were born. Still, you want something and so do I.”
“What’s that?”
“A chance to know my daughter.”
The pain in his eyes was unbearable. The whole situation made her want to crawl into bed, pull the covers over her head and forget she’d ever read her mom’s journal. In a matter of minutes, Ian had changed her life. She realized she didn’t know her mother—at all—and that her dad wasn’t her biological father. Not that it mattered, he’d been her father in every sense and she loved him dearly.
“I think I should to talk to my dad about all of this first.”
“And you should. But he’s not here right now. I am. And if you’re game, I can help shed some light on your trances.”
She wanted to know her mother’s secrets. Yet a part of her hesitated. Was she really a medium like her mom? Did she really want to have the capability to talk to the dead? The memory of her nightmares rolled through her mind. Yes. She did. Anything to have this investigation closed, the murders solved and Winston’s partner behind bars.