Authors: Gemma Brooks
I hated that Hudson walked out like that.
I hated that he caught me watching his interview red-handed. I just wanted
things to go back the way they were. I wanted to rewind to just before he left
when he kissed me goodbye and said he couldn’t wait to see me later that night.
I never would’ve flipped on the T.V. Well,
I probably would have but I would have skipped right past his interview. Okay,
maybe I wouldn’t have done that, but I would’ve kept more of an open mind. I
should’ve been proud of him for just doing his job and staying professional.
Had he told the interviewer the truth about things between he and Ava and how
tense they were, it would’ve thrust him back into the spotlight. It would’ve
thrust all of us back into the spotlight.
I’d been a little less pursued lately by
the paparazzi. Ever since they found out who I was, posted a few salacious and
embarrassing photographs, then realized I was a boring girl from the Midwest,
things died down a bit. I didn’t want to go back to that, and Hudson was
probably just protecting us by downplaying Ava’s psychotic antics and saying
they were still friends.
I decided then and there that I wasn’t
going to bring it up to him. He was a good man.
A kind man.
He had a huge heart. He didn’t owe me an explanation. He didn’t owe me
anything. He’d already taken me under his wing and showed me a world beyond
anything I’d ever imagined. He put my mother in treatment for crying out loud.
Hudson was a good, good man. I needed to do nothing except love him.
With that revelation, I decided to do
something special for him that evening. He was always doing special things for
me. I never returned the favor. What do you do for a man who has the entire
world on speed dial? He could have anything he wanted with the click of a
button.
“Flor,” I called out from the sofa.
“Yes, Miss Brynn,” she said as she came
from a hall bath, rubber gloves still covering her small but sturdy hands.
“I think I’m going to make dinner tonight
for me and Hudson,” I said. “You can leave early today if you want.”
She studied me for a while before
flashing a reserved smile and thanking me in Spanish. I could never tell what
she was thinking, and I still wasn’t sure she even liked me.
The morning faded into afternoon, and as
the sun began to set in the sky, I had still not heard from Hudson. I knew he
was going to be in meetings all day, but I never asked when he’d be back. I
just assumed he wouldn’t be gone all day.
I prepped the roast chicken in the
kitchen, squeezing fresh lemon juice on it and covering it with sprigs of
rosemary and thyme. I peeled potatoes and whipped them up with a little bit of
sour cream, salt and pepper. I steamed some carrots with honey and salt. And
lastly, I baked a frozen apple pie. I couldn’t do everything from scratch. I
was only human.
The table was set and the candles were
glowing soft and luminous. Six o’clock turned into seven and then eventually
eight. I sent him a text message asking if he’d be home soon, but it went
unanswered.
By nine thirty, I’d grown tired of
waiting. I wrapped up the food, blew out the candles, and went to bed. It was
so unlike Hudson to ignore me. In the month’s we’d been together, he’d never
been out this late before with no explanation. I
laid
in bed, but I couldn’t sleep. I did nothing but toss and turn.
I couldn’t help but wonder if he was
purposely avoiding me and making me worry since I’d upset him earlier. It took
everything I had not to jump the gun and assume I’d sent him fleeing straight
back into the lithe, skinny arms of Ava Fox.
I closed my eyes and counted to one
hundred. I flipped to my stomach. I turned on my side. I read a few pages of a
novel. I watched an episode of some reality show rerun. Nothing was working. My
brain wouldn’t shut off.
By midnight, I forced myself to shut off
the T.V. and relax. By one, Hudson came crawling in the door. Tiptoeing really.
I pretended to sleep, eyes shut tight, as I heard him undress and felt him
climb under the covers.
Normally when we slept, we spooned. He
stayed on his side of the bed, not inching any closer than he had to. I felt
him roll to his side, opposite me, and within seconds, his light breathing told
me he was out cold.
***
I’d just poured myself a bowl of cold
cereal the next morning when my phone dinged. It was a text from Alec.
HAVE YOU HEARD?
That’s all it said and it was enough to
make my stomach drop. I hastily typed back “no” as fast as my fingers would let
me. What was he talking about?
“Alec, what are you talking about?” I had
to call him. He was taking too long to reply.
“You didn’t hear it from me,” he prefaced
it. I suddenly felt nauseous and pushed away my bowl of cereal.
“What?” I asked, voice full of dread.
“According to Gossipstalker.com, Ava Fox
was committed to a mental health institute yesterday. Last night actually,” he
said.
“Really,” I said, though I wasn’t asking.
I knew it had to be true, and I knew that had to have explained where Hudson
was and why he didn’t contact me.
“Why do you say it like that?” Alec said,
totally catching my tone.
“I’ll tell you another time,” I said. “I
have to go.”
Hudson came shuffling down the hall the
moment I hung up. He walked right past me and opened the door to the
refrigerator.
“Where were you last night?” I asked as
our backs were towards each other.
He didn’t answer until I spun around in
my chair to look at him. He seemed tired, exhausted really.
He poured himself a glass of orange juice
before coming over and sitting next to me. I could tell this conversation
wasn’t going to be pretty.
“I was with Ava last night,” he said. He
lacked any kind of emotion. “She was threatening to harm herself yesterday. I
was the only person she asked for. I had to go. I didn’t have a choice.”
“Oh,” I said. “A phone call or a text
would’ve been nice.”
“Believe me,” he
said
as he looked me straight in the eyes. “I wanted to.”
“You couldn’t send a quick text on your
way to be with her?” I asked.
“It all happened so fast,” he said. “I
didn’t have time to think. I just had to act. I had to get there before she did
anything rash. She was making all kinds of threats, and she told me she’d
swallowed a bottle of pills. I was on the phone with the National Mental Health
Crisis center getting tips on what to say to talk her down.”
He seemed stressed as he relived the
previous nights’ events. As Hudson ran his fingers through his hair, my anger
began to dissolve and turn into sympathy. Ava was a human, just like anyone
else.
He was a good man, I reminded myself. He
was only doing the right thing.
“She wouldn’t let me contact you,” he
said. “The entire thing was just a power play with her. She loves having
control over me and she knows my weak points.”
“But don’t you think you kind of allow
it?” I said. “You allow her to manipulate her.”
“Maybe,” he said as he shook his head a
little. “I don’t know. I just thought I was doing the right thing. She was in
hysterics. She texted me a picture of the empty pill bottle.”
“Hudson,” I said flatly. “She’s an
actress.”
He breathed in through flared nostrils.
“I know that, Brynn.”
“So where did you leave things?” I asked.
“Are you going to see her again? Did she con you into some sort of visitation
arrangement?”
“Psh,” he said. “I finally called mobile
crisis. She was taken by ambulance to a local hospital.”
“Sounds like that’s exactly where she
belongs,” I said. The entire thing was sad really. She was so desperate to have
Hudson back in her life that she was going to extreme measures now.
“Hey, now,” he said. “That’s a little
harsh.”
“You’re too nice for your own good,” I
said to him. “I need to know, are you going to see her again?”
“I don’t know,” he said. At least he was
being honest, but his words stung. “Brynn, you know I love you and only you.”
I said nothing.
“You know that, right?” he reiterated. He
reached over and placed his hand on top of mine, then brought it up to his lips
and kissed it. “Let’s stop with the nonsense.”
“Okay,” I relented.
“I think it’s going to be in the best
interest of everyone involved if we can smooth things over with Ava,” he
explained. “She’s having a hard time believing it’s really over between us, and
I think the fact that I’ve fallen for a sweet, Midwestern girl who’s the
complete opposite of her just drives her crazy.”
“Really?” I said, trying to hide the
smile that was working its way across my lips. How could Ava Fox be jealous of
little old me? I was
a nobody
.
“Oh, yeah,” he said. “She’s super jealous
of you.
Of us.
She doesn’t understand why I’m not
still pining for her.”
“I’m sure she has her pick of men in this
town. Why’s she so fixated on you?” I asked. “No offense.”
“Who knows,” he said. “She wants what she
can’t have, I guess.”
“Do you think it would help things if I
talked to her? Woman to woman?” I offered. It was going to be hard, and I was
going to be nervous, but I was willing to do it if it would force her to move
on and leave us alone.
Hudson pressed his lips together as he
thought about it. He tossed his head from side to side, not answering.
“So?” I said, growing impatient. “Want me
to meet with her?”
“I don’t think that’d be such a great
idea,” he said. “But I appreciate that you’d be willing to do that. That’s
really sweet.”
“Not a great idea?” I asked. “I don’t see
what the problem would be. I’d be perfectly nice and cordial to her. I’d tell
her that you and I are in love. I
’d
tell her
she needs
to move on. Simple as that.”
Hudson’s face cringed as he squirmed a
little in his seat.
“Ava doesn’t operate like that,” he said.
“Clearly,” I said. “I’ve seen the way she
operates first hand. I just think it’s important for me to stand up for myself,
to stand up for us. She’s going to keep doing these crazy things to get your
attention until one of us puts a stop to it.”
“Maybe,” he mused as he stared down at
the ground. I would’ve given anything in that moment to know what he was
thinking.
“I think you should at least consider it.
Think about it. Sleep on it,” I insisted. “I’m willing to do whatever it takes
to get her out of our life and out of our relationship. All of our issues seem
to involve her.”
“A lot of our issues wouldn’t be issues
if you didn’t make them issues,” he said, though he kept his tone delicate.
“I’m working on that,” I snipped.
Hudson laughed. “Okay.”
“Hi, Mom!” I said as I ran up to my
mother LAX and wrapped my arms around her. She looked so touristy, but I didn’t
care. Her ball cap covered her thinning, brownish-gray hair, and her eyes were
a little bloodshot. She didn’t smell like alcohol, which was a relief, and I
couldn’t hug her tight enough.
She hugged me back, tight, and neither of
us wanted to let go. I missed her so much, and it meant the world to me that
she was finally going to get the help she needed.
“Hi, Hudson,” she said as she finally let
go of me and walked over to Hudson. She wrapped her arms around him and
squeezed him just as tightly. “Thank you.”
He nodded as she tried to fight the tears
that were forming in her eyes. I could tell she was ready to get better. Not
only was he giving her her life back, he was giving her her daughter back too.
We grabbed her bag, hopped in Hudson’s
car, and headed out to the Paradiso Treatment Facility. It was right off the
coast and nestled on a sprawling little seaside acreage with a million trees.
The building was stuccoed and painted white with a red tile roof.
My mom was nervous when we checked in,
but she was trying her hardest to hide it. She hadn’t left Rock River in at
least ten years, maybe more, and she was completely out of her element. It had
to be scary, especially when she was as sober as she was that day.
“Ma’am, you’ll be in room twelve,” the
check in clerk told her. She had kind eyes. “Roberta will be here to show you
to your room in a second.”
We waited patiently for the treatment
coordinator to arrive and take us to her room and orient her. We were told the
orientation was for patients only. We couldn’t attend. Our temporary goodbye
came much sooner than I expected.
“Now, you’ll take as long as you need,
right?” Hudson asked her. “Don’t worry about a thing. Just get better.”
“Thank you,” my mom said to him, again
with misty eyes. “Thank you more than you’ll ever know.”
Hudson smiled, his eyes compassionate. He
reached over and took my hand, squeezing it in his.
“We better go, Mom,” I said. I hated
leaving her in such an unfamiliar place, but I knew it had to be done.
She nodded and smiled. She understood.
As we walked away, I turned to take in
one last look at her. Her ratty
jeans,
faded t-shirt
and foggy eyes were a reminder of the person she was. It was going to be the
last time I’d see her that way. By the time she was done with her treatment,
she was going to be the mother I always knew she could be, and I couldn’t wait.
“Thanks, Hudson,” I said to him as we
walked out to his car.
“No problem,” he said as he scouted the
parking lot for hiding paparazzi. I didn’t even think about the risk he was
taking by being seen at a treatment facility, but he was doing it for me.
As we cruised down the highway right
alongside the gorgeous Pacific
ocean
, I couldn’t help
but think about how amazing Hudson was. He had changed my life in so many ways,
and I knew I’d never be able to repay him in a million years. He never asked
for much. Actually, he never asked for anything. The only thing he wanted was
me
.
We rode in silence, both of us lost in
our own thoughts, until his phone went off. He had a text. He pulled his phone
from his pocket and peeked at the screen. From what I could tell it was a
message from Ava asking him to call her right away.
His entire demeanor shifted. He seemed
agitated and inconvenienced. Our perfect little day was immediately soured by
that one little text message.
“Who’s that?” I asked as I feigned
innocence.
“Ava,” he replied right away. He didn’t
seem happy about it, which was a huge relief for me.
“Call her,” I said. “It’s okay.”
He turned to look at me as if he didn’t
believe me.
“Really,” I laughed. “Call her. I’m fine
with it.”
Part of me just wanted to be nosy. I
wanted to hear the entire conversation or at least his half of it.
“Ava,” Hudson said with the phone pulled
to his ear.
I couldn’t make out the words on the
other end, but it sounded like a bunch of words jumbled together.
“Ava, are you drunk?” he asked. “No, I
can’t come over.”
I secretly reveled in that. One point
Brynn, no points Ava.
“I’m sorry,” he sighed. “I can’t. I’m
with Brynn. Do you need me to call mobile crisis again?”
I heard her scream into the phone.
Apparently the mention of mobile crisis was enough to send her over the edge.
“She just wants attention, Hudson,” I
whispered. He ignored me.
“I’m with Brynn,” he told her again. “I
can’t come over. And I can’t keep coming over.”
Keep coming over? How many times had he
been over there?
“Seriously?” he asked. He turned towards
me and held the phone close to his chest. “She said you
can
come too.”
I was shocked as my stomach fell hard and
fast. I’d daydreamed a million times about going to Ava’s place and telling her
off, but I never imagined she’d willingly welcome me onto her turf. What kind
of game was she trying to play?
“Okay,” I whispered. “I’ll go.”
Hudson put the phone back up to his
mouth. “We’ll be there shortly.”
***
I said hardly a word on our drive to
Ava’s. I couldn’t believe it was actually happening. In my head, I practiced
telling her off. I rehearsed my zingers and
come backs
and quips. I memorized everything I was going to say to her. I wanted to tell
her to get a life and stay out of ours. Hudson was mine. He didn’t have time for
her antics, and quite frankly, neither did I.
I was nothing but a ball of brazen energy
until we pulled up into the driveway in front of her Malibu beach house. The
house was tall, at least three stories, and very modern with clean lines. It
wasn’t homey like Hudson’s place. It was square and intimidating.
“You okay?” Hudson asked as he noticed my
heavy breathing. “You don’t have to do this, you know.”
“I’m fine,” I insisted. “Let’s go.”
As we walked the long walk to her front
door, my knees were wobbly and lightheadedness set in. For a second I swore I
was going to fall over, so I walked behind Hudson. I didn’t want him to see me
turn into a ball of nerves.
I’d dreamt of getting another chance to
tell Ava off, just like I’d done that day in the boutique, but only this time I
wouldn’t run away crying. I’d hold my ground. I wasn’t sure why I was suddenly
scared.
She was up to something
,
I
could feel it
. It was probably more a fear of the unknown instead of a
fear of Ava herself.
We rang the doorbell and the shrill barks
of a pack of yapping dogs filled my ears. A young girl, not any older than
myself, answered the door. It was probably her assistant.
“Hi, Hudson,” the girl said as she tried
to play it cool. I could tell she was thrilled to be in his presence. “Come on
in. I’ll get Ava.”
We walked in and took a seat in the
living room. The house was the epitome of modern Calfornia coastal style, and
the floor to ceiling windows showcased her breathtaking ocean views.
Hudson and I sunk down into her plush, overstuffed
white sofa that was covered in a gazillion pillows with a gazillion patterns in
multiple shades of flax, ivory, and cobalt blue.
I couldn’t stop looking around at her
place. It was a work of art, truly, second only to Hudson’s. I wondered if they
shared a decorator.
“Hudson,” Ava said as she walked towards
us from the bottom of the stairs. Her hair was pulled back, revealing her
ridiculously high cheekbones, and her lithe frame was wrapped in a pale peach
silk robe. She hoisted one hand on her boney hip while her other hand held up a
dirty martini. It felt like a scene from a movie, but I supposed most movie
stars were naturally dramatic.
One thing was for
certain,
Ava Fox knew how to make an entrance.
“Hi, Ava,” I said in an attempt to
acknowledge the fact that she’d blatantly ignored me.
“Hi, Brynn,” she said in the fakest voice
I’d ever heard. “How are you doing today, sweetie?”
She couldn’t have been more condescending
in her tone, but I vowed not to let it bother me.
Ava took a few steps closer to us,
towards an overstuffed chair, and she nearly tripped over the sisal rug that
covered the hand scraped walnut floors. She was clearly drunk, but she didn’t
seem embarrassed.
“What can we help you with, Ava?” Hudson
asked. I loved that he was including me.
Ava stood up from her chair, the one
she’d barely kept warm for more than three seconds, and sauntered over to
Hudson, sitting extra close to him on the opposite end of the sofa.
She hooked a lanky arm around his
shoulders and rested her head on him as she nursed her martini. She was acting
a complete fool, and part of me was livid that Hudson was tolerating her
behavior.
“You know what I want,” she said in the
drunkest voice ever. “Silly.”
Hudson and I exchanged glances. This was
Ava Fox, unfiltered and undone.
“I need you, Boo-Boo,” she cooed. She
took another sip of her drink, slurping it loudly. She had to have been going
on more than a few drinks already.
Hudson sat rigid, his hands resting on
his knees. He looked at me as if he were helpless. The man who pursued me back
home in Iowa, the man who dominated my mind and my body when we were alone, was
helpless when it came to Ava Fox. His kind heart, the most amazing thing about
him, was also his biggest downfall.
“Ava, you need help,” he said, avoiding
eye contact with her.
“No, I don’t,” she pouted. “I don’t need
help, Hudson, I need you. You know that. We talked about it. Don’t you
remember?”
I squirmed in my seat, hating that I was
dying to know what they’d talked about. And when. My body felt hot as a wave of
jealousy rushed over me, but I quickly pushed it away.
Hudson was a good man, I reminded myself.
Ava was just trying to get inside my head.
“Ava, you really do need help,” I said. I
couldn’t hold my tongue any longer. If Hudson wasn’t going to stand up to her,
I had to.
Ava moved her head up from Hudson’s
shoulder and stared me squarely in the face.
“You know nothing,” she growled in the
creepiest voice I’d ever heard. I’d never had anyone look at me with so much
hatred in
their
eyes before. It chilled me to the
core.
“I know that Hudson wants to be with me,”
I said, attempting to hold my ground with her. “And I want to be with him.
There’s no room for you in our life.”
Her breathing grew labored as she shot
daggers my way, and suddenly, without warning, her face softened. She glanced
up at Hudson with more love and affection than I’d have liked to
have seen
.
“I know you still love me, baby,” she
cooed as she nuzzled her nose into the crook of his neck. “You said you did
last night, remember?”
“Ava,” Hudson sighed. He had to do some
damage control and quick. “I said a lot of things last night. You were
threatening to kill yourself. I had to get you to calm down.”
“But you admit you said it, right?” she
said. She was talking to him, but her eyes were on me. She wanted to see me
hurt, but I refused to let her. “Hudson, let’s just quit with the games. You
know you and I are going to end up together again eventually. Ship Miss Corn
Fed Iowa back to the farm she came from and let’s just get on with our life,
mm-kay?”
“Now, Ava, that’s just uncalled for,”
Hudson said. He finally jerked away from her and her drunk, limber arm fell
into her lap. “You’ve got to stop with all this.”
Ava wasn’t about to throw in the white
towel anytime soon. His words were only making her want him even more. I could
spot a girl who loved a good challenge from a mile away.
“You’re delusional if you think for one
second that you and I are ever getting back together,” he said. “I’m with
Brynn. That’s
who
I want to be with. Nothing you say
or do will change that. Know that. Please.”
Hudson was getting more and more
agitated, and seeing him defend me first hand was getting me a little turned
on.
“We have to go now,” he said as he stood
up and reached for my hand.
Ava’s face fell at first and then twisted
into a conniving smile.
“You’ll be back,” she snickered. “You
always come back.”
He led me outside as fast as he could.
“I told you it was going to be pointless
for you to talk to her,” he sighed.
“I at least wanted to try,” I replied.
“She didn’t faze me. I swear. She’s downright psychotic.”
“She needs help,” he said. “A lot of
help.”