“It’s not really my thoughts I was concerned about,” Brennan muttered and I had to laugh.
“You know we’re not having sex right now, right?” I asked with another laugh. “There’s no way we could handle that kind of power right now. We’d lose focus and maybe take out the Eastern Seaboard.”
“The Eastern Seaboard?” Brennan gasped in mock outrage as he clutched at his chest dramatically. “Not the Eastern Seaboard! And I’ve always held such a special place in my heart for… New Jersey. Or Rhode Island.”
We laughed, but only to cover up our nervousness. He had made a valid point. It would be strange to partake in any kind of intimacy while we knew my mother was watching. As if to prove that we could do it, he pulled me to him and I melted into his strong embrace. I fit so perfectly in his arms.
He lowered his lips to mine and gently kissed me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned into him, deepening the kiss. My heart slammed in my chest from his nearness, something that always seemed to happen. I heard a roaring in my ears but ignored it as I allowed his mouth to ravage mine, my fingers clutching at his strong chest.
After a few minutes, I came up for air. When I did, I realized that the roaring hadn’t been in my ears. Our tent was in flames, the orange and red fingers scorching at the sky. I dropped my head, stepped away from Brennan and sighed.
“It seems that we have a lot of work to do,” I murmured dejectedly as I conjured water to douse the fire with. Brennan gazed at the charred remains of our little shelter, the burned edges of the tent flapping in the breeze.
“We did that?” he asked incredulously. “Just by kissing?”
“I’m afraid so,” I replied tiredly. “Just by kissing. The more you develop your powers, the more our energy reacts to each other. We’ve got to get a handle on it.”
“There’s no time like the present, then,” Brennan said determinedly as he grasped my hand. I nodded in agreement.
“You’re right. There’s no time like the present.”
I focused on clearing off the charred mess of our tent and replacing it with a clean, new shelter filled with everything that we would need. Bending, I pushed through the new tent flap and pulled Brennan inside with me. Stretching out on the plush sleeping bag, I patted the ground next to me. Brennan slid next to me.
“Now what?” he asked nervously. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
I had to laugh at that. “You could never hurt me,” I answered confidently. “I’m certain about that.”
He groaned and pulled me to him. “I won’t. I promise,” he growled, clutching me tightly to his chest. I felt both fragile and protected within his arms and I was reluctant to leave his embrace. But it was necessary.
Backing up, I slid my teeth along the soft skin of my wrist, creating a short slice in my arm. I held it out to him at the same time as he offered me his own. Without hesitation, I bit, drinking in his warm, mortal blood. Instant strength and light flooded my limbs as mind-shattering sensations enveloped me. His blood tasted just the same as it did last time…like no other. I drank for a few minutes before I opened my eyes to look at Brennan.
His eyes were wide and stricken as my blood streaked down his chin. He gazed past me toward something that I couldn’t see. I pulled my wrist away from his mouth and clutched at his shoulders.
“Brennan, what is it?” I asked quickly, stroking his back. “Are you alright? What’s wrong?”
He turned to me, his tanned face pale, his fingers shaky. “You were right, Em. The world’s going to end and it’s going to be our fault.”
Chapter Twenty
“The world is not going to end,” I insisted slowly, taking in the desperation on Brennan’s stricken face. “Why would you think so? I was wrong when I said it would, Brennan. We can prevent my visions. We can do anything we set our minds to.”
Brennan turned to me, his expression slightly calmer than it had been a scant moment ago. I reached out to grab his hand, but he backed away, causing my heart to race. He stepped out of the tent and I trailed behind him quickly.
“What is it?” I whispered. “What did you see, Brennan?”
His eyes were pain-filled and stark when he answered. “I saw flames and floods and a lot of blood. There was so much blood. I saw the same things that you did, Empusa. And if we both see it, I think it is likely to happen.”
“It won’t!” I cried, gritting my teeth and throwing myself at him. Clutching at him, I gripped his shoulders, trying to make him touch me. Yet he still shirked away from my fingers like I had a sickness. It was alarming.
“Why are you moving away from me?” I asked helplessly, trying to ignore the cold pit growing in my belly. “I didn’t cause your visions, Brennan. I wish nothing more than to protect you from any ugliness in the world.”
“I know,” he admitted softly. “But I also know that this isn’t going to work.”
His voice was like gravel, painfully scraping the surface of my heart with every husky syllable. “I can’t be with you,” he repeated.
He was so casual, so perfunctory, as though we were simply talking about a Cubs game or the weather. I stared at him, at his flecked hazel eyes that gleamed in the sunlight and my chest literally constricted at the thought of even one day without him.
“Yes, you can. You’re perfect for me,” I answered uncertainly, reaching for him, trying to pull him close. If he could just feel my heart pressed against his, I knew that he might bend, if only just enough to listen. But he would have none of it and backed away, leaning against the rocks behind us. He knew the danger within my touch.
“Brennan,” I tried again, stepping forward. The way that the sun bathed him in backlit glory was breath-taking and I had to re-focus. It was difficult not to concentrate on his handsome, rugged face and the way his mouth moved as he spoke.
“Em,” he continued, as if I’d never even spoken. “I’m not…I’m not strong enough for this yet. I won’t be able to control my abilities- I just saw it. I can’t jeopardize the entire mortal world simply because I can’t master my power. And Circes… she said that you would risk everything for me. I can’t allow that, Empusa. I can’t be the one who extinguishes your light. That won’t be me.”
He pushed away from the rocks and strode down the ledge with his distinctive lope. He paused just once on the edge, before he bounded, landing gracefully on his feet far below me. He didn’t look back, he simply walked away from me. I stood still, frozen by his words, astounded by their meaning. Until I realized that if I didn’t do something right now I would never see him again.
I lunged from the ledge, landing roughly in the packed sand below before I raced along behind him. Even employing supernatural speed, I didn’t catch up with him for a mile. He had mastered speed himself, it seemed. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of black and I knew that my mother was close, watching us, but it didn’t sway me.
I pushed Brennan against a nearby red stone rock mound, shoving him hard and he stumbled, staring at me in shock as his back collided with the stone. He had never seen me lose my temper. No one had. I always had to be so careful, so controlled.
“You think it’s only up to you?” I shouted. The wind whipped my hair around my face and I ignored it as I stared directly into the mesmerizing eyes of the only man I had ever loved.
“I have a say in this, too,” I insisted. “You think you can just throw everything away with a handful of cliches? Newsflash: The old
it’s not you, it’s me
line isn’t effective. If you don’t want to be with me, just be man enough to tell me why. Don’t tell me that it is because of the visions. We can overcome them. I know it. If there is something else, tell me right now.”
My face was barely an inch from his. I was close enough to feel his heart beat through his shirt, to feel the heat from his skin pulse through and bleed into my own skin. I was close enough to inhale his very breath. I knew what my nearness would do to him, but I didn’t care. I closed my eyes and leaned into him… instantly absorbing what he felt; the jagged pain, the overwhelming uncertainty, but mostly, his unbridled need for me. It filled him up and spilled into me.
“Tell me,” I murmured against his lips.
He groaned and pulled me against him, his large hands flattening against my back as he smashed me to his chest and ravaged my lips with his own. He kissed me like the world was ending. And I knew, with every breath in me, that if he left, my world
would
end.
His body was rock hard and he smelled like the sun. I inhaled him as I grasped his hair and pulled him closer to me, as close as I could possibly get. Even in the heat of this moment, though, I had to keep a corner of my consciousness carefully focused, making sure I didn’t absorb too much of his strength. But I still allowed myself to taste it, to enjoy it.
He was delicious. Everything about him.
His tongue rammed into my mouth, swirling with mine and he tasted like honey as his very life flowed into me, wispy and transparent, but pulsing hard. He was so
vital.
It made me wild and I couldn’t control myself. I ripped at his shirt, breaking the buttons as I frantically pushed it off of his shoulders. I knew it was expensive, but I didn’t care. My only thought was consuming all of him, every bit and I needed him inside of me to do that. It was the only way. My focus faltered and then was obliterated. Nothing else mattered now but my need for him.
I began seeing things in blurs of color, tasting the scents in the air and feeling the textures beneath my hands as everything else faded away. His breathing was ragged, his heart beat stuttering and racing as we fumbled with clothing. Our skin was hot and sticky as we pressed together. I felt his heart beat join with mine, synching perfectly, as the process began. My fingers pulsed and my vision unfocused. It was happening. I would only need a moment longer.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the beautiful field of pink flowers explode into flame, too close to withstand my energy as it flared into an uncontrollable storm. They burned impotently against the sandy horizon as our very own fire burned within us. A loud boom exploded somewhere nearby and I saw chunks of earth scatter, falling around us from the sky. I had no idea where it had come from and I didn’t care at this point.
Brennan yanked at the button on his pants and I reached to help him, desperate to continue, to finish, but somehow sanity returned to me as I thought of that very word.
Finish.
If we completed this act, if I made love to this man- the man that I loved with every ounce of my being, it would finish him. He could die because we hadn’t learned to master our power.
I froze.
He reached for me, but I held out my hand.
“Don’t,” I rasped uncomfortably. “Give me a minute.”
I closed my eyes, willing my heart beat to calm, to slow, even as I willed myself to ignore the raging fire that had overtaken me the second his life had filled my mouth. This was my curse and I almost always won. I couldn’t afford to lose control with him. Not with him.
I opened my eyes a few minutes later, exhaling a long exasperated sigh.
“I’m sorry.”
He stared at me from a few feet away, his hazel eyes calm. His thumbs were looped through his belt loops and he stood casually, as if he hadn’t almost just died at my hands.
“I know,” he answered softly. “But this… this is why. Em, your mother was right. Together we are very, very dangerous. To each other and to everyone else in the world. Look behind you.”
I turned to find that we had created some sort of unnatural geyser. The earth around us had ripped apart and a geyser had erupted, shooting hot water from deep in the earth high in the sky above us. It landed in fat droplets around us, sizzling in the heat as it ran off the dry ground in hot streams.
“Em, I love you. But I don’t see this ending well. I can’t control myself around you and you get carried away when you are with me. How can that possibly end well? How can we ever learn to control such a thing?”
I heard the words and I knew he was right. Once I cast my innate spell, something that was even stronger when I was aroused, any man who I was with couldn’t resist me. They couldn’t think the better of it, even when they knew that being with me would kill them. And once the process had gotten to a certain point, I couldn’t control it either. One of these times, it would go too far and I would drain every ounce of life from his body before we could stop ourselves.
I swallowed hard, my gray eyes frozen on his beautiful, rugged face.
“I can’t let you go,” I whispered. “I know this is hard. But maybe if we tried harder…” my voice caught in my throat and I turned my head away from him. He didn’t need to see me cry.
I felt him step close to me and he turned my chin with a finger. So gently. He was always so gentle with me. I could still feel his life force pulsing, the current flowing directly beneath his skin, but I gritted my teeth and ignored it. I could do this.
“Em,” he murmured. “I want nothing more than to be with you. Every day, every night, forever.”
He paused and stared into my eyes. So close to me again, so trusting, so alive. I could hear his heart beating in his chest and I felt sweat form on my brow. I ground my teeth harder. I could do this. I wouldn’t hurt him. I automatically took a step back.
I wouldn’t hurt him.
“Can you promise me that you can stop?” he asked. “Because that is the only way we could work. I know that I can’t control myself. I’m not strong enough yet. So you’d have to be the one. Can you go against your nature until we figure this out?”
His voice was both pained and painful and I turned my head. I stared away from him at the shooting power of the newly formed geyser. The moisture from it called to me, I could feel it from here. It replenished my energy, revitalized me.
Like men did. Only without men, without their vital energy, their blood…their
souls,
I would die. And Brennan knew that.