He glanced about the new home with a nod of approval as Nikki hung his coat in the hall closet. The walls were still bare since the paint had barely dried, but the living room was furnished well and the layout was spacious and inviting. A low fire cackled in the fireplace and soft jazz played in the background.
“Beautiful home.” Colin breathed in deeply and then exhaled. “I daresay it even smells new. Thank you for taking in a weary traveler, Nikki.” His voice, even to his own ears, sounded as drained as he felt in every part of his body. He missed Serena with everything in him, but he'd put on a brave face and not be a whiny, lovesick man if it killed him. Being with his closest friends was the best place he could possibly be, especially at Christmas.
Colin's gaze fell on Nikki. She was growing out her dark hair and she wore a simple tunic and black leggings. Something was different about her. The woman positively glowed.
“Fly me to London, you're expecting a baby already, aren't you?”
Nikki smiled and slid a hand down to her stomach, rubbing her fingers in a small circle over her belly. “I was going to tell you on the phone, but I figured I'd wait and tell you when you arrived. I should have known you'd be able to tell right away. You know me so well.” Her cheeks colored prettily. “I'm not even showing yet.”
“Oh yes, you are, but in a completely different way.” Colin swept Nikki into a longer hug, clinging to her for a few seconds. “Congratulations.” Emotion clogged his throat. “I couldn't be happier for you and the hockey dude.” He chuckled as he released her. “You realize I will only deign to use the word âdude' as it applies to your husband. When's the little one expected to arrive?”
Alex came around the corner from another part of the house. “The baby's expected in mid-June. All of our friends here in Starlight have babies and you know how competitive I am.” Walking toward Colin with a wide smile, Alex held out one hand.
“Looking for a handout already, are you?” Colin teased. “You might need to hit me up for a small loan to help pay for this fabulous abode. Nice place, old man.”
“Thanks.” Alex pulled him into a fierce man-hug and slapped him on the back. “Good to see you again, sport. Welcome.”
“Hold up there, mate.” Colin chuckled. “You're still playing hockey, it would seem. Solid muscles you've got there, brother.”
“I'll teach you to appreciate hockey one of these days.” Alex quirked a brow at Colin's suitcase beside him on the floor. “That's all you brought? I thought you'd need at least three bags for all your smoking jackets andâ¦British stuff.”
Colin waggled a finger at Alex. “It's a good thing you're pretty, Kingsfield. Play nice or you may not get your Christmas gift this year.”
Nikki laughed. “Alex, why don't you show Colin to the guest bedroom and I'll get everything ready in the kitchen.” Her blue-eyed gaze rested on him. “If you're not too tired tonight, I'd like to hear more about what's going on with you and Serena.”
“If it were anyone but you, love, I'd refuse,” Colin said. “Actually, a chat sounds good. Be prepared to listen.”
Nikki smiled. “Always. For however long you need. Meet us in the kitchen in a few minutes.”
After Alex showed him to the guest bedroom upstairs, Colin hung up his few articles of clothing and then splashed water on his face. He hoped Nikki hadn't told her friends in Starlight that he'd be bringing Serena and Lily for Christmas, but she probably had. He wasn't sure he was up to the explanations. Nor the sympathy or pity.
“So, what's happened?” Nikki said as the three of them sat around the kitchen table, sipping hot chocolate and nibbling on frosted sugar cookies from Martha's Bakery, Starlight's version of comfort food.
Colin chose a reindeer-shaped cookie with a red nose. “Suffice it to say that Serena received some upsetting information on Monday afternoon, and it's thrown her for the proverbial loop. The best I can tell, she now has doubts about herself and our relationship. Lovely timing, eh?” He chewed off the reindeer's doughy head, a traitorous act but one he enjoyed nonetheless.
“Information to do withâ¦?” Alex popped an entire bell-shaped cookie in his mouth.
“Revelations concerning her late husband.”
“I knew Graham,” Alex said. “Serious guy. I got the impression he lived in the shadow of his dad. Like he had something to prove in spite of the fact that he'd achieved great success on his own.”
“From what I know, that assessment is correct,” Colin said.
“You and Serena are still solid for now, though, right?” Nikki's eyes were wide. Goodness, was her lower lip actually trembling?
“We didn't break up, but in some ways, it feels like we did. Serena came into my office on Monday afternoon and told me she needed time to resolve everything in her mind. Said perhaps it's time to think about moving on and leaving Philadelphia. She was obviously confused because of the thoughtless and perhaps cruel words of someone else who is missing the sensitivity gene.”
Nikki watched him carefully over the rim of her cup of hot chocolate. “Let me guess. Serena had a visit from a woman?”
Colin nodded. “You are correct. After which she marched into my office and lowered the boom about not coming to Starlight. Serena was very quiet, almost disturbingly so. And while she hasn't avoided meâshe can't, even if she wanted, by virtue of her jobâneither has she gone out of her way to seek me out. Before that, we'd shared lunch every day, but not this week. Frankly, it's been torture. She's been civil, but civil isn't exactly what I'm seeking in the woman I love.” Colin took a quick drink of his hot chocolate, tasting nothing. Then he heaved a huge sigh. “Unfortunately, I suppose this is what's called taking a break.”
“That stinks,” Alex said. “I'm sorry, sport.”
Nikki's eyes shone with compassion as she added more marshmallows to Colin's hot chocolate. “Even if she felt that way, I'm surprised Serena would disappoint Lily by not bringing her to Starlight. From everything you've told me, Serena's a wonderful mother and she puts Lily's needs before her own.”
“Serena's a fantastic mother, but she hadn't told Lily about the trip to Starlight yet,” Colin said. “All things considered, I suppose it was providential.”
“She's right,” Nikki said. “From what I know about children Lily's age, that was probably a wise decision. Once they know about a trip or something fun, they can't stop talking about it.”
“Yes.” A faint smile tipped Colin's lips. “That would decidedly be the case with Lily-Love.”
“Aww, what a cute nickname.” Nikki nibbled on a snowflake-shaped cookie.
“In the end, Serena encouraged me to come to Starlight, as planned. I told her it wouldn't be the same without her and Lily. No offense.”
“None taken,” Alex assured him.
Colin finished the last of his hot chocolate and drummed the fingers of one hand on the table. “Why do I feel as though my heart is breaking? In a very short time, Serena's become a part of me, a part I didn't know was missing until she walked into my life. No-Nonsense Serena with her silly clipboard and masculine eyeglasses. The woman who loves the color red and wears vintage dresses like she was born to them. She's beautiful, she's witty and smart, and when I look at her, I know what I've wanted all these years. And when I spend time with her, I realize what I've been missing all these years.” Shaking his head, Colin stuffed the rest of the reindeer cookie in his mouth.
Nikki sniffled and her smile was wistful. “You really do love her.”
When Colin lifted his gaze to Nikki's, his eyes were damp. “I love her. With all my soul.”
“I always knew somewhere beneath that British accent and strong sense of irony was a sensitive, romantic soul. You're a big, old pushover for love, Colin.” Nikki reached for his hand across the table.
“I've always believed in the concept of love, Nikki.” After squeezing her hand and releasing it, Colin scrubbed a hand over his jaw. “I just hadn't met the right woman until recently. I'm sure your husband could tell you something about that.”
“Makes all the difference.” Alex reached for a tissue on the nearby counter and nudged his wife's arm. “Here, Nicole.” He plucked out another tissue and offered it to Colin. “Need one?”
Colin pushed Alex's hand away but it brought a faint smile to his lips.
“Thanks.” Taking the tissue, Nikki shrugged and dabbed it beneath her eyes. “Hormones. Comes with the pregnancy, I guess.”
“Before we call it a night, I think we should pray together,” Alex said. “Let's ask the Lord to give Serena peace to help her move forward past this roadblock and give her the closure she needs. We'll pray that what Serena learned on Monday will help bring her closer to you, Colin, in a way she couldn't have before.”
Colin snapped his gaze to Alex. “Sometimes you make good sense, old man. I think prayer is absolutely the best thing we can do.”
Nikki squeezed his hand. “Everything will be fine, Colin. I'm sure Serena will come to you when she's ready. This all happened a few days ago. The holidays can be stressful enough, and like you said, the timing was unfortunate. As difficult as it is, please try to be patient and give her that time. I'm sure it'll be worth it in the long run.”
How he loved these people. Colin joined hands with his friends. As he prayed, Colin hoped Serena could feel his love and know how he wanted God's best for her. If that included him, so be it. If notâ¦so be it.
Lord, give Serena Your peace. And, if it's in Your will, I could use a measure of Your peace, as well.
18
Wednesday Night, the Night before Christmas Eve â Serena's Townhome
“I miss Mr. Colin.” Lily had pouted the past three days, plying Serena with one question after the other. Where's Mr. Colin? Why isn't Mr. Colin eating with us? Why won't we be spending Christmas with Mr. Colin? Mr. Colin this. Mr. Colin that. Serena thought she'd go out of her mind with Lily's incessant questions, but in truth, she felt Colin's absence as deeply as her daughter. She missed him so much she physically hurt.
“I miss Colin, too, sweetie. Come into the kitchen with me and you can help me wrap his Christmas gift.”
“What'd you get him?” Lily rocked back and forth on a kitchen chair and watched as Serena carefully lifted the big cardboard box out of a heavy-duty shopping bag and set it on the table.
“He happened to mention how much he loved the cuckoo clocks at the Christmas Village. They're made in the Black Forest of Germany. I got him the one I believe he liked the best.” She hoped so.
“Oh, goody! I love cuckoo clocks. Can I see it?”
“Not now. It's packaged so well that I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to get it back inside the box the same way.”
“Can I watch Mr. Colin open it?”
“Can you please go out to the wrapping paper bin in the living room and pick out a roll of paper?” She hoped Lily wouldn't press the issue about Colin coming over to visit on Christmas.
Until the next hour when she'd ask again.
Guilt pricked Serena's conscience. At least she hadn't told Lily about the trip to Starlight. That would only have made things worse and she wouldn't be able to deal with her daughter's disappointment. She could barely handle her own.
Lily ran out of the room to do her bidding, and Serena made sure she had all the necessary supplies. This was the last gift she'd bought and the last one to be wrapped.
Coming back into the kitchen a few seconds later, Lily handed her a roll of heavy red foil paper and climbed onto the kitchen chair. “I brought red since it's your favorite color. It'll remind him of you when he sees it.”
“Thanks, honey.”
“How did you know which cuckoo clock Mr. Colin liked best?”
“I talked to the man in the booth at the Christmas Village. He and Miss Gabrielle filmed one of the show segments there, and Mr. Colin mentioned that he loved the cuckoo clocks. The man remembered Colin and showed me the clock he seemed to like the best.” All it took was mentioning the blond man with the British accent and a film crew. She'd admired the display model of the one she'd bought, an impressive clock with dancers and musicians who appeared on the hour. She could only pray it was the right clock and that Colin would appreciate it whenever she could give it to him.
“You're smart, Mommy.”
Serena shook her head and tears stung her eyes. “I'm not so sure about that, but I try my best.”
Lily helped her to unroll the paper across the length of the table and then Serena positioned the box in the middle.
“Mr. Colin told me what he wants to give you for Christmas.”
Serena stopped measuring. “Oh?” She continued with her task and then started to cut the paper, thankful for the cutting grid on the back.
Lily watched as she folded the edges and ends to make them neat. Following Serena's instructions, Lily held the ends of the paper together while she affixed strips of tape on the seam.
Finally, Serena could take it no longer. “Young lady, are you teasing your mother?”
Lily giggled and shook her head. “He didn't really tell me what it was, but he said it rhymes withâ”
“You know what, sweetie? Don't tell me. I'll let it be a surprise.” Serena couldn't resist. “Did Mr. Colin give you a hint as to what he's giving you?”
Lily shook her head. “He said I had to wait and be patient.”
Serena sighed. “It's hard to be patient sometimes, isn't it?”
“Uh huh.”
“All right. It's time to pick out a pretty bow. Can you go pick one out for me? The box is next to the wrapping paper bin.”
“I know where it is.” Lily took off again.
Serena placed Colin's present with its huge red and green plaid bow beneath their Christmas tree a short time later. As an extra touch, she'd added jingle bells to the bow and attached a reindeer gift tag.