Steel and Sorrow (56 page)

“Conroy! We have to do something. Should we send in our reserves?”

“No,” he said in a heavy voice, still scanning the struggle through his spyglass. Parts of his army had begun to flee or surrender. He couldn’t send in his reserves even if he had wanted to. The last six explosions destroyed much of the terrain and a giant crevasse separated his position from the main battle.

Even if I tried to march our reserves around that, we would be sitting ducks for their engineers. And then what? By the time the reserves reached the main engagement, it would be too late.

“We can’t just give up.”

“We can and we will.” Conroy handed the spyglass over to Markus. “See for yourself. Kaz has seized control of the battle.”

“What is the matter with you? You act as though the devil has won,” said Markus. “We still have time to retreat to your palace in Segavona where we could hold out during a siege.”

“No. He’s won. Don’t you see? If he has any more Nitroglycas, our walls would be useless. We would only prolong the inevitable.” He let out a heavy sigh. “He is the better commander.”
He is Victas come again.
“We need to give ourselves over to the queen.”

Markus threw down his spyglass. “Are you mad? We’ll be hanged for treason!”

“So be it,” said Conroy. “We must accept the consequences.”

“No. You can accept the consequences. I’m taking the rest of my men and leaving. I’ll leave this dump of a country if I must, and carve out a kingdom elsewhere. But first, I’ll burn Lucartias to the ground, if only so no one can have it.”

Why am I not surprised? Perhaps I could have won if I had stronger allies. But then, no one else understood what I meant to do.

Conroy frowned. “I can’t let you do that.”

Markus withdrew his sword as did the two aides who flanked him. “You don’t have a choice.” Markus nodded behind Conroy and when he turned saw that two of Markus’s men had moved up behind him. One held a crossbow in his hands. Olasi’s son smiled. “I never did trust you.”

To Conroy’s surprise, one of the men whipped out two knives and felled the aides flanking Markus. The man with the crossbow aimed it at Olasi’s son.

The soldier who threw the knives had another in his hand that he pointed at Conroy as a warning. Conroy understood with one glance he had little chance of taking the man. He recognized a professional when he saw one.

“You ain’t going anywhere,” said the man with the knife. “Rygar, shoot Markus if he does anything other than drop his sword to the ground. Aim for his gut. The duke thinks death by hanging is bad. A rope is a blessing over a wound to the stomach that takes hours to bleed out. You can trust me on that,” said the man as he eyed Markus.

Markus dropped his sword.

“Good,” said the man with the knife. “You ain’t as dumb as I thought you were last time we met.”

Markus’s eyes widened. “The queen’s bodyguard?”

“Former bodyguard. I’ve got my old job back.”

“And what’s that?” asked Conroy.

“Professional killer,” said the man in an icy tone. He nodded to a group of soldiers heading their way with weapons drawn. “I’d call off your men if I were in your position. Things usually get ugly when I feel threatened.”

Conroy signaled his men to stay back. Markus did the same.

“Why not kill us now?” Conroy asked.

“If I had it my way, I would. But, I’m sure certain people would like to have a word or two with you. But if you’d like to try your luck, go for it.” He grinned. “Now stay still. This’ll be over soon enough.”

The man gestured toward the battlefield where shouts of victory replaced the cries of battle.

Chapter 38

Tobin listened half-heartedly as each of his councilors gave their reports. Still reeling from the impact of Nachun’s words weeks ago, he had been going through the motions of being a ruler since his return to Juanoq. Thankfully, he had done well in choosing the men around him, and at least in the near term, his lands ran themselves.

A messenger relayed a report from Walor that arrived earlier that morning. The rulers of the Red Mountain Clan had quickly sworn fealty to Tobin. However, pockets of resistance in both the Red and Green Clan’s territory remained. Walor would need time to eliminate those factions before returning to Juanoq.

The messenger finished the report, then pulled out another. “Warleader, we also received more word from Nubinya.”

“Save it for our next meeting.”

The messenger cleared his throat. “Warleader, this message is over a month old. You’ve put it off for some time already.”

“Fine. What does Durahn want?”

“He assures you that Nubinya is stable. He wishes to return to Juanoq.”

Tobin chuckled. “I’m sure he does.”
Getting him out of Juanoq was one of the best decisions I ever made.

“Shall I write up a reply?”

“No. It won’t be necessary. Anything else?”

“No, Warleader.”

“The meeting’s adjourned.”

* * *

Tobin woke up screaming. When he stopped he could barely swallow through the rawness in his throat. He sat up and tears flowed uncontrollably down his face. He had lain down on the palace’s roof to examine the stars and had fallen asleep. He dreamed of his mother. For the first time he saw her face—every detail, including the hollow eyes staring back at him and the small trickle of blood at the corner of her mouth. Her neck was angled in an awful way as her body rested on the ground, arms to her sides.

He had no idea how she had gotten like that. Everyone in his personal life had refused to discuss her with him and he quickly learned not to bring up her memory.

All his life he tried to remember his time with her and never could.

For the first time since Nachun had healed him, Tobin dreamed of his early youth. He was foolish to think that the shaman had rid him of his nightmares.

He sobbed.
How did she end up like that?

He screamed again, angry that he didn’t know the answer to the question.

Lucia’s voice called out from behind. “Tobin? Are you alright?”

He wheeled as she hurried toward him. He quickly turned away and wiped frantically at his face with his palms. “What are you doing up here? It’s well past midnight.”

Her footsteps slowed. “I couldn’t sleep and thought I would grab some fruit from the kitchen. I heard a scream and recognized your voice.” She knelt beside him and rested a hand on his shoulder. He tried to avert his gaze, but she urged him toward her. “Please. Tell me what’s wrong.”

He looked up, feeling ashamed. “It’s nothing. Just a bad dream.”

She cupped his face with her hands and stroked his cheeks with her thumb. Tobin saw the tears forming in Lucia’s eyes as she did her best to smile.

“Why do you cry?” he asked.

“Because I understand.”

Lucia’s hands slid behind Tobin’s head and she wrapped her arms around his neck. She leaned in and kissed him with the tenderness he had always dreamed of. It happened so suddenly that it took Tobin a moment to respond. His arms enveloped her, pulling her tight against his frame. He felt her take a quick intake of breath and for a moment worried that he had gone too far. But Lucia’s kisses grew more passionate. Tobin’s heart raced in the still night air.

Am I still dreaming?

* * *

The heat of the warm morning sun tickled Lucia’s bare skin, causing her to stir from her slumber. Her head rose up and down on her husband’s chest with each breath he took. She grinned and opened her eyes.

No. Not Kaz.

She looked up at Tobin’s peaceful face as he lay asleep.

What have I done?

Lucia had lied to Tobin the night before. She had not been hungry. It had been the anniversary of her first meeting with Kaz and she couldn’t bear to look at his empty place in their bed. When she had heard Tobin’s screams and later saw the pain in his face, her heart had ached to help him. Of all people he understood her own loss better than anyone, having lost all that had been dear to him.

Friends. Family. And a lover.

The helplessness in Tobin’s eyes had also reminded her of the part of Kaz that no one else ever saw. Seeing Tobin do the same had raised emotions she hadn’t felt for him before.

The sun shone brightly over Tobin’s dark skin as her eyes ran down and back up his nakedness.

He is so similar to Kaz. Is it wrong to be doing this
?

She sat up slowly and moved away from Tobin as she dressed, careful not to wake him. She struggled with a whirl of emotions.

Lucia couldn’t deny that she felt something more for Tobin than she had before, but Kaz’s presence still hung heavily over her.

But everyone keeps telling me he’s dead. I need to move on. And Tobin is a good man.
She watched a soft smile form on Tobin’s lips as he slept. Even such a small gesture reminded her of Kaz.
Is that it? Do I only care for him because he reminds me of Kaz?
She shook her head, confused.

Before they drifted off to sleep last night, Tobin mentioned them having an early dinner together today.

Lucia tiptoed away from Tobin with that on her mind. She needed time to sort through her feelings.

* * *

Jober opened his eyes to a harsh beam of sunlight striking his face. He sprang out of bed, panicked. He was late.

His wife sat up as he began to frantically dress. “What’s wrong?”

“Something’s not right. Lucia’s usually here by now for her daily trip to the market.”

Hielle patted the cushion beneath her. “Come back to bed and enjoy the extra rest.”

“What do you mean? She’s your friend. Aren’t you worried?”

Hielle shook her head. “Last night was the anniversary of her first meeting with Kaz. She told me that she would probably sleep in and wanted to be alone.”

Jober stopped. “Why would she tell you and not me?”

“I’m sorry. She wanted me to wait until morning to tell you. She loves you like a brother, Jober. The last thing she wanted was for you to worry.”

Loves me like a brother, yet I can’t stop living the lie.

He started dressing again.

“What are you doing?”

“I should be there for her. It’s the least I can do.”

“No!”

Jober stopped. His wife rarely raised her voice.

“If she wanted you there, she would have requested it. Give her this time alone. She needs it.”

Jober sighed. “Alright.” He stripped off his clothes and crawled into bed. Hielle wrapped herself around him and they held each other close in bed. “I just wish I could make things right for her.”

Hielle hugged him tight. “I know you do. You’re a good man.”

So I hear.

* * *

Two boys fought in a small circle with wooden swords—their movements anything but fluid. They looked to be no older than seven or eight and yet bruises and small cuts covered their torsos. Around the circle, other trainees cheered the youths on while older warriors who had long since completed their training took wagers.

Despite the beautiful day, Tobin could not focus on the sparring. His thoughts kept returning to the previous night. Her absence when he awoke had been unsettling at first, but then he recalled their plans for an early dinner and he had to suppress a childish smirk.

She’s probably gone to the market to cook something herself. She’s always thinking of others. And she’s finally mine.

The combatants separated and slowly circled. Hate shone bright in their eyes.

“What do you think, Warleader?” asked the Kifzo overseeing the training.

“They have potential.”

“Yes. These two are the best by far in their age group.”

Tobin raised an eyebrow. “What makes them so much better than the others?”

The Kifzo shrugged. “Physically, they’re stronger and quicker, but above all else it’s their relationship to each other.”

“What do you mean?”

“They’re brothers, Warleader. I thought it was obvious. Have you ever seen such hate in ones so young before?”

The warrior laughed and if it wasn’t for the innocence in his mirth, Tobin would have thought the man had meant something ill by the comment.

The two brothers did hate each other and though they did not resemble each other as much as Kaz and he had, the boys greatly reminded Tobin of the relationship he once shared with his brother.

Have you ever seen such hate in one so young?
Tobin repeated the question in his head.
Yes, I have. Only I never realized that my hate for Kaz had been nearly as great as his hate for me.
Tobin wondered what had changed him into the person he was before Soyjid tampered with his mind.

And why are the memories of me and Kaz so clear while the rest are still muddled and in pieces? Especially those of my mother.

In his happiness over Lucia, he had almost forgotten the images of his mother’s dead body.

“What do you think of these, Warleader?”

The question jarred Tobin. He blinked and realized two older participants had entered the circle. They looked fifteen or perhaps sixteen. They moved with the fluidity that Tobin would expect after years of training as a Kifzo.

“They fight well.”

“Yes. They may be a little young, but I think they’re ready to fill in our ranks.”

Tobin turned. “Fill in our ranks?”

“Well, I know we lost a lot of men during this year’s campaign and Nachun has . . . borrowed many of our best. If we are to go after the White Tundra Clan next, then we’ll need to replenish our numbers, correct?”

Tobin had not considered the White Tundra Clan, as they had never been part of his father’s plan. However, they remained the last unconquered clan in Hesh.

The people of the White Tundra kept isolated in the far south. Little was known about their land or their people. They could have a populace distributed among various villages or be completely isolated in the capital of Erundis and no one would know. The thought of such a test ignited a fire in his belly.

“Yes. We’ll need to replenish our numbers.” Tobin grinned. He welcomed the challenge.