Steel: Blue Collar Wolves #3 (Mating Season Collection) (7 page)

“Y
ou’re not funny.”
What the hell did he mean, her mother was alive? She pushed at him, rage building at how callously he was treating what she shared with him.
“You’re not funny!”

“I’m not trying to be.” With a gentle grab, Steel brought her hands against his chest. “Your story from that night sparked a memory, and I checked it out. When I was younger I remember my dad talking to some other wolves about another pack whose alpha took a mate. He was saying how she had to fake her own death and what was needed to get her a new identity. I remember one of the wolves laughing and saying for a gorgeous redhead, he’d go through the hassle too.” Steel pressed her now ice-cold fingers against his chest. “I knew it was a long shot, but I called a few people who I knew would keep my questions quiet. I can’t be absolute, but from everything you described and the timing of it happening, I think she’s your mom.”

It was like she was listening to white noise, because nothing he said made sense. Her mom wasn’t alive. Her mom wouldn’t have abandoned her and Bethie to her dad, and being brought up a hunter. That’s not what moms did. They took care of their kids. They loved them.

“She’s not alive.” But even Regan could hear the question, the quaver, within her own voice.

“Maybe not, but she might be. If you want to know for sure, that’s where the woman I’m talking about is.” He was direct while still being compassionate, still holding her fingers and still talking soft and careful. “Whatever you decide, though, I want you to know that I’ll help you however I can, and that you’re free now to make those decisions.”

It was hard to grasp with the chaos in her mind, but
free
pinged within her. “What do you mean, free?”

“Exactly what I said. You’re no longer prisoner here. You can walk out that door and never return, if that’s what you want.” Steel pulled back now, pulled into himself, stuck his hands in his pockets as those dull eyes stared at her. “Don’t misunderstand me. I want you here. I
love
you, everything about you. No, it’s not the mating season. It’s not because of true mates. It’s you, and everything that you think you hide but I see it so clearly. I see your compassion and warm heart and your deviousness and your cunning, calculating side, and I love it all.”

He swallowed, turned then, as if it was hurting him to look at her. “But you don’t know how you feel about me, and you staying here won’t make things clear for you. The only way you’ll know is by having the freedom to walk out that door, knowing you never have to come back through it.”

“I’m a hunter. I could bring others.”

“If anyone comes to hurt us, we’ll fight them. Otherwise, we do as we always do. We leave people be.” His head tilted back, and he drew a deep breath. “I’m not looking at you again because if I do, I’ll fold. I’ll grab you up and never let you go. If you want to meet the woman, call that number. The person on the other end will arrange it. And if you decide to come back to me, the door is always open for you.”

Regan’s throat went tight, and as Steel walked towards the front of the house she called, “How long will you wait?”

Without pausing, he said, “That’s a stupid question.”

‡

H
er mother’s red
hair was duller, streaked with grey, and the face had more lines than in Regan’s memory, but otherwise the woman before her was a near copy of those last moments spent in the kitchen – before she went to bed, before the gunshots, before the shouting, before her father screaming revenge and before her world became soaked in blood as red as her family’s hair.

It had taken her weeks to get to this point, debates within herself with the scale sliding both ways, veering between
she can’t be alive
and
but what if she is
. She hadn’t told Bethie, both because she was afraid she wouldn’t find her mother, and because she was afraid she would. She would be the one to go forth and discover, as always.

And now she was here, with the impossibly dead woman standing smaller before her, chin lifted high and mouth tight. No greetings for her eldest daughter. No tears. Only a straight back and set jaw and rebellion within her frame.

“We thought you were dead.” The words burst forth, a tsunami of fear and hope and
missing
within them. “We searched and we prayed, but we never found you. All Dad ever found was blood. He saw the wolf shift, and after we found out what happened with kidnapped women we assumed…”

Regan’s words choked in her throat. Her mother stayed where she was, not lifting a hand or walking a step towards her. Her words were a long time in coming, with a voice tight and low. “You weren’t supposed to know about the wolves. That was an accident. I wanted you all to be able to move on with your lives, so I thought it would be best to make you think I was dead.”

“You left willingly? Without us?” Regan’s voice was a broken wing of a baby bird, fluttering and helpless in the wind. “You’re telling me he didn’t kidnap you? You left us on your own?”

“His name is Rafe, and we’re true mates. You know enough about wolves to know what that means.”

“I know
all
about wolves,
all
about true mates, and I guarantee, it doesn’t mean you leave your
kids
.” Of all possible outcomes, until this very moment, Regan hadn’t realized this was the worst possible one.
Anything’s better than dead
, and fool her actually believed that. A mother alive but willingly abandoning her? Leaving
Bethie
? For what, a man, a true mate? Mel wiping Danny’s face as her two true mates looked on, their smiles of the wolves directed at both of them. Neither put up with Danny just to get to his mother. Without a doubt, they’d tear out anyone’s throat who suggested such a thing. Without a doubt, Mel would have kicked Brick and House in the balls and left them without a backwards glance if either of them made her think that was the case.

Her mother stood there, tall, unflinching, prepared for the guillotine. “I had to leave, and it wouldn’t have been possible to take you or your sister with me. Please believe me when I say, I never imagined your father becoming what he did. I thought you would all mourn and move on. I’m sorry for what happened to you.”

“You’re a piece of shit. At least my father had an excuse for what he did.”

“There was no excuse for what your father did.” Her mother’s voice carried, strong and proud and without apology. “And yes, I am.”

Regan turned and walked out.

*

“Jacobson’s gone deeper,
but there are feelers out. He’s gathering, gaining strength. I don’t know when, but he’s going to challenge you for supremacy eventually.” Iron’s voice carried to all those present – Razor, Brick, House, Tank, and Steel, who nodded at Iron’s assertion.

There was no doubt now. The fight at Iron’s bar was the shot across the bow, and war was not brewing – it was here. It might be stealthy and quiet for the time being, but it was going to end up bloody before the end.

Razor’s voice was tentative, the voice of someone who knew he was offering up the kamikaze solution. “I could put the word out to Cage. See if he’ll come back.”

Iron went ramrod straight, and Steel bit back the urge to do the same. Brick and House wore looks of intrigued confusion, but before they could ask, Steel put his hand up. “It’s a possibility. Let’s see how this plays out before we decide that route.”

It was the moment of silence during the funeral procession before Steel resumed. “Tank, keep your ear to the ground out there in the human world. You know Jacobson will sacrifice humans to his goal if he can. See if he’s trying to recruit there. The rest of you, spread the word. Everyone needs to keep up their guard, and we need to pull in and start taking watches. Right now, I expect ambushes and sneak attacks rather than outright assaults. Jacobson will need time to convince the rogues to unite under him. It’s the one good piece of news we have. Pieces of shit that would actually follow Jacobson have a hard time in packs or following a single alpha without always trying for dominance. We need to find Jacobson and his son and neutralize them before he gains enough strength to launch a frontal attack.”

As Steel’s words faded, the others turned and left, but Iron stayed behind, his eyes concerned. “How you doing, man?”

“Don’t worry, I’m not about to let Jacobson become the dominant alpha of these parts.”

“Didn’t mean that and you know it.” Iron shook his head at Steel’s admittedly obvious attempt at deflection. “You heard from your bitch?”

“She’s not my mate, so that’s not her title.” Steel bit back the choked pain that wanted free as thoughts of Regan swam forth. He let her go, but
fuck
, he might not have admitted it, but he expected her back. He expected her to kick down the door and enter his life again, green eyes cunning, red hair streaming behind her a crimson banner, demanding everything from him and offering everything in return.

He hadn’t expected six weeks without a word. He hadn’t expected that she felt nothing for him, or something so small that it was easily tamped down by her upbringing.

What he felt for her grew by the day, not lessened. What he felt wanted to abandon everything for her if it would convince her to come back to him.

Too bad the one thing he couldn’t abandon – the wolf – was the one thing she couldn’t live with.

“I kinda liked her. Bella really liked her. According to Bella, she’ll be back.”

“I guess I should trust Bella. She was right about your ass.” Steel was putting as good a face on as he could, but he couldn’t talk about this much longer. He needed Iron gone so he could lick his wounds in private. Every day Regan was gone a little more hope faded, and he didn’t have much left at this point.

Iron understood or at least guessed at Steel’s feelings, because after a companionable clap on Steel’s arm, he headed out the door as well, the screen door slamming shut behind him.

Steel collapsed back on the couch, his head tilting back to rest on the cushion, eyes closed against the world. In a few more hours, he’d get to sleep, hopefully to dream about her by his side again.

That was his world right now, surviving the waking hours by taking care of his pack but really only living for nighttime dreams and memories.

Fuck, Iron really did deserve to be alpha. Twenty years of this and the man hadn’t gone insane.

The door swung open, and Steel sighed. He loved Iron like a brother, but the wolf needed to back off – and if he said anything about payback, fuck yeah Steel was going to deck him. “Iron, give it up.”

“Is he trying to collect a debt or something?”

Steel’s head whipped up, his eyelids popping open. In front of him was five-ten of gorgeous female, long red hair hanging behind her, hand on hip, smelling too fucking good to be a hallucination.

Steel rose, wary somehow. There were no other noises, no other smells, but it felt like he was about to be jumped.

Regan crossed her arms in front of her, narrowing her eyes slightly. “That’s the greeting I get? Maybe I should just leave–”

“No!”
Steel leapt the several feet that separated them, his arm reaching for her before he pulled back, still unsure. If he touched her, like hell he’d let her go again, and he promised her the choice. He couldn’t touch her until he knew where her head was.

After several long moments, she nodded, her eyes leaving his and landing on a large picture of his great-grandparents, taken the day of their wedding. Her voice was stripped down, devoid of emotion. “I called the number. You were right, it was my mom. She left us. Can you believe such an ordinary story began all this? She left her family for her boyfriend. Of course, since her boyfriend was a wolf, she had to do things a bit different, but it all boils down to, she left us for a lover.”

She was so brave, bearing up under the weight of what she discovered. He ached to hold her, but not until he knew it was what she wanted. “He was her true mate.” Steel kept his voice quiet, so she had the perfect excuse if she wanted to ignore him.

She snorted, her eyes bright as they rested on his great-grandmother’s face. “She chose the easy way out. She chose the
pitiful
way out. Instead of being a grown-up and figuring how to make it all work, she poured kerosene over everything and then had the nerve to pretend she wasn’t leaving an inferno in her wake.”