Butterflies in my stomach took off and my heart fluttered. I pulled my head back and looked into his eyes. “You have?”
“Yeah, talk about crazy, eh? I thought the hostage was supposed to fall for their captor, not the other way around.”
“Stockholm Syndrome,” I whispered.
“Yeah, that’s it.” His face was dangerously near mine, his lips far too close for comfort. All I wanted to do was mash my mouth to his, strip him naked and celebrate the beautiful words he’d just said. But I couldn’t, and as the song ended and we spun on the dance floor to face Phil, I knew I had to break the spell before I lost control.
“We should finish our drinks,” I said, pulling from his embrace.
His eyes flashed. He glanced at the bar then Phil. As he stepped away I realized I hadn’t said the words back to him. I loved him. I loved him so much. I loved him more than I’d ever loved any other guy—but I hadn’t let him know.
“Nice chap,” Phil said as just he and I rode the elevator to the eighth floor a half hour later.
“Yes.”
“Easy to get on with.”
“Mmm.” I stared at the small yellow triangle flashing as we climbed the floors.
“You seem to have quite a connection…already.”
“Phil, I hope you weren’t staring at us dancing,” I said, putting a teasing note in my voice.
“I watch everything, it’s my job.”
His tone told me he wasn’t up for a bit of banter like he sometimes was.
“And we’re all very grateful for everything you do,” I said, folding my arms over my chest.
“Thank you.” He paused. “Though when there’s someone out there plotting against your father and his family I have to be extra vigilant, notice every little thing.”
“Of course.” The elevator hit eight and we stepped out. “I understand that.”
We walked down the empty corridor. “Can I ask you something, Penny?”
“Certainly.” I was aware that alcohol was slowing my thought process. I willed myself to think logically. To remember the tangled web I was living in and who Ty was supposed to be to me.
“Is today the first time you’ve met Mr. Winters?”
“What?”
“Is today the first time you met him?”
“Of course, why on earth would you ask such a thing? Good heavens, you were there when we were introduced this morning by Hans.”
He nodded. “I was.”
“So, why ask?”
He hesitated, as if contemplating his words. “He knew you took sugar, Penny. I saw him slip a cube into your tea without having to ask if you wanted it.”
Shit, I knew he would bring it up. He was like a damn Rottweiler once he had a puzzle in his head. Wouldn’t let it go. “I don’t know. He probably saw me take sugar in my tea this morning, at the meeting.” I shrugged nonchalantly.
“Mmm, maybe.”
We stopped outside my door.
“Phil,” I said, “take a chill pill, keep your eye on the lookout for the bad guys, don’t worry about the good ones.” I grinned naughtily then tried and failed to suppress a boozy hiccup.
He gave me a half-smile and pulled out the tiny alarm from his top pocket. “Thanks for the advice, Penny.”
Searching through my clutch for the key to my room, I said, “You know me, full of advice.”
He laughed. “Yeah, I know, but now take some from an old guy. Go drink a big glass of water before you go to bed and…”
“And?”
“And you two look good together. If you get the chance of a real date, without your parents tagging along and cramping your style, you should take it.”
“Ah,” I said, opening my door. “If only, but him in Thailand and me off on my travels with the British foreign secretary, the chance would be a fine thing.”
He nodded slowly. “Life has a funny habit of drawing together people who are meant to be in each other’s lives.”
I had a sudden rush of affection for him. “Thanks, Phil, that was a nice thing to say to me at the end of this evening.” I reached up and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. “Good night.”
He smiled. “Good night, Penny, sweet dreams.” He held up the alarm. “And you know the routine.”
“I do.”
Chapter Eleven
Six weeks later
I sat at my small student desk, my laptop whirring and my lamp flickering. The bulb was getting ready to blow. I hit save and shut down my documents. I had a headache, but that was nothing new these days. Headache, heartache, it was all the same.
I wandered from my small room into the kitchen and switched on the kettle, stared out the curtainless window at the cold darkness. It was only early evening but the short January days made my lonely nights all the more depressing. The girls were all out. Nat had a steady boyfriend now and spent most of her time at his flat, Tara had found herself a job in a local bar and Jane had taken to hanging out with a group in her art history class.
Perhaps I would call Trinny for a natter. I missed her so much. The first term at Oxford had been such a whirlwind of events, and with my trip to the Far East thrown into the mix, I’d barely had time to miss my best friend of twenty years. But after traveling to Edinburgh to spend Hogmanay with her, I realized how much I regretted us not going to the same university. We’d been in each other’s lives for so long that being apart was a wrench, and on top of that, it was multiplied by the screaming absence of another person in my life too.
* * * * *
When I’d got off the train in Edinburgh she’d rushed through the crowd and hugged me tight. As I’d clung to her I’d known, in that moment, I was going to tell her everything. It was just too big a part of me now and I knew she’d see it in an instant.
“Oh Pen, you’ve got so thin, and what the hell is going on with the hair? Oh, I am so glad you’re here, I’ve missed you so much.”
“And I’ve missed you too,” I said as we linked arms and headed to the bus stop. “Oxford is great but it would be so much better if you were there.”
She turned to me with narrowed eyes. “Is it a man? Are you having guy trouble? You didn’t even tell me you were seeing anyone.” She sighed. “Pen, oh, how could you not tell me?”
“Not here,” I said, “When we’ve got back to your place and opened a bottle of wine. Then I’ll tell you everything.”
“Absolutely everything?”
“Absolutely everything, I promise.” Just saying that was a relief, because I couldn’t keep my emotions in any longer. They were eating me alive. Each day the pain was wearing me down, chipping away at my heart and soul. I felt as though I was only half the person I’d been before.
An hour later, sitting on her old sofa with the gas fire blazing and a glass of wine in my hand, I looked at Trinny, took a deep breath, and steeled myself for the whole sorry story. “You have to swear to keep this to yourself and I mean it.”
She looked hurt. “When have I ever spilled any of your secrets?”
“Never, but this is big. Like jail-time big. If you ever told a living soul all hell would break loose.”
Her eyes widened and she took a big slug of her wine. “I promise. Besides, you know enough of my secrets.”
I shook my head. “Yes, but nothing like this.”
“God, the suspense is killing me. Dish the dirt, will you?”
I stared unblinking at the licking flames of the fire. “You remember when I was abducted from Kangaroo Bill’s?”
“Bloody hell, how could I forget? The entire cast of
24
arrived after I called the police to say the British foreign minister’s daughter was missing.”
I nodded. I’d heard her version of events over and over. Now it was time to tell her mine. The real version.
“The man that took me was called Ty Winters.”
She sat forward, eyes wide. “Oh my god, you know his name now? That’s great. I’m sure the police will be thrilled to have a new lead.”
I shook my head and pursed my lips. “I won’t be telling the police, Trinny. Ever.”
“Why the hell not?” Her voice was loud and indignant.
“Because…” I swallowed past a tight lump in my throat and blinked away the moisture forming in my eyes. “Because I’m in love with him.”
“What?” she gasped.
Raising my wineglass to my lips, I noticed I was shaking. I took a sip then held the stem with both hands.
“Penny…?”
I gave a tight sigh. “I’m hopelessly, completely in love with him. And he was in love with me too, but I messed it all up.” I turned to her. “Oh Trinny, I messed it up so bad, and he was so right for me, we were so good together.”
She set down her wine then reached for mine and put it aside. Next thing I knew she’d wrapped her arms around me and I was sobbing.
“Oh hon, I think you really should tell me everything. How could you have let it reach this point without even a word to me?” She stroked her hand down my back then up again and smoothed my hair.
“Because it was a crazy roller-coaster ride and everything happened so quickly. One minute he was there, the next gone.” I juddered in a breath and searched for the handkerchief that had become a permanent fixture in my jeans pocket. “And now I haven’t seen him for weeks.”
She pulled back, passed me my wine and reached for hers. “So, tell me exactly who Ty Winters is, and how he’s managed to get you into this dismal state. Start right from the beginning, properly?”
I nodded. “Okay, well, remember we were on the beach that day, and that group of Australian surfers were mucking about?”
“Mmm, yes.”
“Do you remember the one with the tattoo, a dragon on his biceps? Blond hair, blue eyes, a bit quieter than the others?”
She took another sip of her wine and narrowed her eyes. “Yes, yes I think I do.” She paused. “Oh my Jesus, that’s him? That’s the guy who took you? Yes, of course. Duh. How could I be so stupid?” She knocked the heel of her hand against her forehead. “How did I not put it together? Everyone at Kangaroo Bill’s was questioned about when they’d last seen you, but he wasn’t there.”
I shook my head. “Of course not, he was with me.”
“But you said it was an older guy, English, who took you.”
“I was protecting Ty. I gave a false description.”
“Why? You didn’t know him. You hadn’t even spoken to him. I’d seen you giving him a bit of the eye but nothing else had happened. Had it?”
“No, not at that point.”
“But it did once he kidnapped you?”
“Yes, because he’s not a bad man, Trinny. You have to understand, he took me to save his friend.”
“Well, of course I know that part of the story.”
“But don’t you see, he hadn’t taken me for money or for personal gain. He was helping a friend. Surely that just goes to prove how loyal and moral he is. What an utterly good man he is, right to the very bottom of his heart.”
“Jesus, there’s a name for that. Swiss Syndrome or something.”
“Stockholm.”
“Yeah, that’s it.”
“But it isn’t that. We were attracted to one another anyway, before he took me.”
“So presumably you’ve seen him since.”
I fingered my shortened bit of hair that had nearly grown back. “Yes, in Oxford. He sent a piece of my hair to Dad as a threat of what he’d do next if Dad didn’t throw his weight into the James Hill case.”
“Bloody hell.” Trinny reached out and fluffed my hair. “I thought it looked a bit weird.”
“Dad was mad, but not as furious as when Ty sent a picture of me bound and gagged in my underwear. That really caused him to flip out. I thought he was going to have a stroke.”
She grimaced. “And you still liked Ty at this point? Even after that?”
“Yes, what he was doing was admirable, and I wanted to help him. Him and James.”
She topped up our wine.
I was quiet for a moment, letting her digest my story.
Eventually she looked at me. “Okay, so what happened next?”
“Well, I persuaded Dad to stop over in Thailand and meet with the super-efficient human rights lawyer James had been assigned, and also bring up the case with Kasit Yong, the Thai foreign minister.”
“How convenient that Daddy is such a powerful man.”
“Not convenient, that was the whole reason Ty reached out to me in the first place.”
“Mmm, I guess.”
“So anyway, to cut a long story short, as you know I went on the trip too.”
She nodded.
“Well, on the first evening Ty sneaks into my hotel room. It is, of course, one hell of a night, no more games, no more hostage-taking, just us, giving in to the overwhelming attraction we feel…” I paused at the memory of us writhing, sweaty and desperate on the bed, pleasuring each other, exploring each other. Making fantasy reality.
“And…”
“And the next morning, oh my god, you won’t believe this?”
“If I believe everything else you’re telling me then I don’t see why not.”
I frowned slightly. “Next morning, Dad stalks into my room and is stomping around while Ty is hiding in the bathroom.”
Trinny suppressed a giggle. “No way.”
“Yes way, and it wasn’t funny, I was terrified. Here was my kidnapper, my lover, half naked in my hotel en suite while my dad was…” I hesitated.
“Penny?”
“While my dad was wondering why one of the curtain tiebacks was looped around the headboard.” I rested my palm against my suddenly hot cheek and giggled.
“You kinky bugger, you,” Trinny said, clearly loving that juicy detail.
“Oh Trinny, he’s so perfect, we’re so perfect. When we’re together sparks fly. When he holds me I feel like I’ve come home. I’ve never felt like that before, ever, with anyone.” I sighed. “That was the most perfect night of my life.”
“Was that the last time you saw him?”
“Oh god, no. The next day he just about gave me a heart attack by turning up at the meeting with Dad and the lawyer.”
“Oh Jesus.”
“And then, bloody hell, then, Dad invited him to join us for dinner that evening. Seemed to think he was the sort of
nice young man
I should be dating.”
Trinny gulped her wine then burst into a coughing fit. I had to whack her hard on the back. “You all right?”
“Yes, yes,” she said in a croaky voice. “What happened at dinner?”
“I had to sit through the meal—”
“What did you wear?”
“That red silk dress, you know, the Oriental one.”
She nodded. “Fab. Suits you.”
“Thanks. Ty was completely charming and Mum and Dad adored him, even though he was actually their worst nightmare, the person who’d thrown their lives, and mine, into chaos.”
“Didn’t you find it hard to pretend you didn’t know one another after you’d been shagging the night before?”
“Yes, absolutely, it was excruciating. But we managed, except for one slip-up when he dropped a sugar in my tea.”
Trinny frowned.
“We were supposed to have only just met. How would he know I took sugar?”
“Shit, of course.”
“Phil spotted it but I smoothed it over when I spoke to him later.” I fell quiet, the memory of my and Ty’s dance flooding my mind. Sometimes, if I thought about it hard enough, I could still feel his arms around me, smell his fresh aftershave and feel the heat from his body radiating onto mine.
“And that was the last time you saw him?”
I nodded and stared down at my wine.
Were Ty and I really destined to have only those few sweet hours together? One night in each other’s arms? One perfect dance?
Finally, through teary eyes, I told Trinny that he’d fallen in love with me and that the biggest regret of my life, to date, was not saying it back. Every morning the remorse grew in my chest like a big, sticky lump of candy until by the end of the day I felt nauseous with it. If only I’d said it back. Maybe then, when James had been released, Ty would have come to find me.
* * * * *
The kettle came to the boil, returning my thoughts to the long, lonely evening ahead in my little student room. I dropped a teabag in a mug and, pouring the steaming water over it, realized I had to accept that I’d done a pretty good job of losing the man who owned my heart.
I headed into my bedroom and shut the door. The bulb had finally given up and I raked through my drawer for another. As I was bent over, shuffling in the dark, there was a tapping noise against my window.
Once. Twice. Three times.
I straightened, wondering what it could be. A bird, perhaps. No, it was too late. I crawled across the bed, tugged open the curtains and let the amber glow from the lamppost flood my darkened room.
Catching my breath, I clutched my chest. My mind reeled and I had to double blink to be sure I was seeing correctly.
What the hell?
I scrabbled for the window catch and flung it open.
“Hi, baby.”
“Ty!” He was sitting on a thick branch of the tree with his legs dangling down. He wore a parka coat with the fur-trimmed hood pulled up against the cold and his big black boots swung gently. The light above him cast shadows over his face but I could see his eyes sparkling.