“Jade’s cool with him helping you? With you
telling him things you don’t tell her?”
“Yes. She loves us both enough to understand
that he can help me heal in a way that she can’t.”
“I don’t like it. Knowing that he can give
you what I can’t. That he can help you, but you won’t let me do the
same.”
“It’s not like that. You help me,
Aiden.”
“Whatever. I think it’s best if I just sleep
at home tonight. Alone.”
“Don’t do this. Please.”
“I’ve got to get back to work. See you
later.”
I watch him walk away and think about all
the other times he’s done that. Walked away from me like I’m
nothing to him. Every time he does it, I want to believe that he’ll
be back, and so far, he always has been. I know a day will come
when he doesn’t come back to me, though. When his problems and mine
are too much for him to handle. I don’t blame him, but I wish he’d
believe in us a little more. We’re broken, but we can still put
each other back together. Times like these that make me wonder if
he really wants that as much as I do.
Instead of calling the doctor on my break, I
call my best friend. “Hey, El. How’s it all going?”
“Do you hate it that I talk to Nate?”
“What? No. Of course not. I know you need
him. And he likes being needed. You need me, too. Just in a
different way.”
“I do. I promise. Thank you.”
“Where’s this coming from? Is it Aiden?”
I try, but fail, to hold back a sob.
“Yeah.”
“What did he do to you?” she asks, her voice
going cold.
“N-nothing. He’s just angry that I need
Nate.”
“That’s bullshit.” Her voice is a little
muffled, but I hear her tell Nate to straighten his friend out
before she has to. Then it’s him on the phone.
“Brass? What kind of shit is Aiden giving
you about me?”
“He’s just upset that I can talk to you, and
not to him.”
“Fuck. He knows how hard it was for me to
tell him and Matt about all my shit. It took me years.”
“I don’t know what to do,” I say, openly
crying now. “I’m not ready to tell him, Nate. How can I tell
him?”
“It’s okay. You don’t need to tell him shit.
Yet, at least. We both know you need to tell him, eventually. But
when you’re ready. Not a second before. He’s going to throw these
toddler tantrums because he wants to save you all by himself. Let
him pout, but do not let him guilt you into something if you’re not
ready. Talking, or you know, other stuff.”
“He’s not pressuring me about the other
stuff. We did…some things…but only what I could handle. I thought
we were doing okay, moving forward.”
“Aiden’s one of the best guys I know. He’s
just got that fucking white knight complex. He’s in his element
when he’s saving the world.”
“I don’t need him to save me, Nate. I have
to do that for myself. I just need him to be there for me.”
“He will be. Once I pull
his head out of his ass. I’ll be there tomorrow.” There’s some
mumbling, and then he’s back. “Correction,
we’ll
be there tomorrow.”
“He’s going to be pissed.”
“Good, because so am I. Get some rest, and
we’ll see you soon. Jade and I love you, El.”
“Love you, too.”
I still have fifteen minutes left on my
break, so I follow my original plan to call my shrink. I’m not
going to be able to eat, anyway. The conversation is shorter than
I’d planned, but I’m able to tell her everything that went on and
how I feel about it. She’s happy that I’m slowly delving back into
the sexy side of things, and we talk about how I want to do more.
She assures me again that there’s nothing wrong, or bad, about
wanting to be with Aiden. I’m still a woman with needs and desires.
What happened to me was bad, but it shouldn’t stop me from being
happy, or satisfied. I thank her and hang up, hoping Aiden will
still want me when I’m ready.
* * *
Aiden
I’m feeling like even more of an ass than
usual. I could tell that Ellie had been crying when she came back
from her break last night. I shouldn’t have given her such a hard
time about talking to Nate. He’s my best friend, for God’s sake. I
know what he went through, and if he can help her even a little, I
should be thanking him, not acting like a jealous bastard.
I planned on apologizing to her today, but
all of my calls to her went to voicemail. I don’t want to do it
over text, but since she didn’t show up for the weekly staff
meeting that just ended, I may just have to. Before I can pull out
my phone, the front door slams open. Theo’s on his feet in
seconds.
“Hey, man. We’re closed…holy shit, you’re
Nate Anderson.”
“I am.”
“We’re still closed. Sorry. We can get you a
good table later.”
“I don’t need a good table. What I need is
for my best friend to stop being an asshat.”
“Ellie called you.”
“No. Ellie called Jade. I just happened to
be in the room.”
“Why is everyone so into Ellie?” Norma asks
with an actual pout on her face.
“Because she fucking rocks,” Nate
answers.
“She does,” I agree.
“My work seems to be done before I even
began. And I didn’t even have to punch you.”
“Sorry to ruin your fun, but yeah, I know I
screwed up.”
“Cool. Now we can have a beer and wait for
our women to arrive. Then you can let me take all the credit for
straightening you out.”
“Beer, yes. Credit, no.”
“What kind of best friend are you?”
“Yours.”
“Can’t argue with that.”
We hug it out, and then I grab some beers.
The women are looking at him like they want to eat him for dinner,
and I almost feel bad for them. He’s never going to even think
about being with another woman now that he’s finally given himself
fully to Jade. I feel the same way, even though I’m holding back
from Ellie. Which also makes me a major hypocrite for giving her
shit about not being able to tell me about what she’s gone
through.
How do you tell the woman you love that
you’re a vigilante? Matt and Nate tell me that she’d understand,
and I know she probably would. I mean, she does work for a secret
spy organization. But they don’t kill unless necessary, and I used
to kill because I liked it. I wanted it. Now, I just want to scare
the people I target. My love for Ellie has replaced the need I had
for my own brand of justice. I can’t stop hunting, or helping, but
I don’t have the compulsion to kill. And thankfully, whoever was
targeting me has given up, or found a new hobby.
“Whoa,” I hear Theo say, and Nate and I both
turn to the door.
I almost drop my beer when I see what he’s
seeing. Ellie and Jade just walked in, and damn. I’m sure Jade
looks great, but it’s Ellie that I’m focused on. She has on a long
black pencil skirt topped with the closest thing to a corset I’ve
seen her wear since she got here. It’s got thin straps, and fully
covers her tits, but underneath sheer fabric falls to her waist.
There are vertical strips of the material that molds a corset to a
woman, and just, yeah…damn. She’s got a jacket undone over the top
of it, and I’m totally loving this combination of the old and the
new.
“You can pick your jaw up off the floor.
She’s not dressed for you, asshole.”
“Nice to see you too, J.”
“I’d cut you if she’d let me.”
“But I won’t, so knock it off,” Ellie tells
her.
“Hi, Doll.”
“Hi.”
“You look amazing.”
“She always looks amazing,” Jade reminds me
with a sneer.
“Jade.”
“What? He can’t just act like an asshole and
then get a woody because you’re looking hot.”
“Okay, Angel. I think we need to go find a
table and leave these two alone,” Nate says.
“I’m not leaving her alone with him.”
“Yes, you are. He didn’t even need me to
tell him what he did wrong. He’s owning his bad behavior. Now let
him apologize to her.”
“It better be a good apology.”
“Jade, I love you and I love that you’re so
protective of me, but I am going to hit you if you don’t go
make-out in a dark booth with your man, and leave me to deal with
mine. I’ve got this. I promise.”
Jade huffs a little, but then pulls Ellie
into a hug. I get another death glare before Nate practically
carries her away. “You called me your man.”
She looks down at her feet, which are
encased in a wicked sexy pair of heels. “I shouldn’t have said
that.”
Motherfucking hell. Why am I such a fucked
up bastard? “I’m so sorry for giving you a hard time about Nate,
because I am grateful he can help you. And now, for making you feel
bad about calling me what I am. Or at least what I hope I am.”
“I’m not easy. I know that. I wasn’t before,
and now…well, now, I’m pretty much a train wreck.”
“I’m no choir boy, either. All we can do is
try. You’re trying. I mean, look at you. With Nate and Jade here,
you pulled out a corset. And almost let your hair down,” I tell
her, running my fingers through her long ponytail.
“I didn’t dress like this because they’re
here.”
“No?”
“No. I did it because it’s
okay for me to feel sexy, even though I’m a little scared. What I
wear doesn’t define me to others, but I need to be me. For
me
, no one else. I like
the idea of combining the way I used to dress with the way I dress
now.”
“I fucking love it.”
“Yeah well, that’s just an added bonus.”
“I’m so proud of you. For working through
whatever happened to you, and for doing this for yourself. I don’t
care what you wear, or don’t wear. You’re always the hottest woman
on the planet to me.”
“You’re not so bad yourself.”
“Yeah?”
“You know it.”
“I like to hear you say it. There’s honestly
nothing better than having you tell me I turn you on.”
She nudges my legs apart with her hips and
stands between them. “You’re so hot, I almost come when I see you.
Every damn time you walk into a room.”
“Fuck, El. Are you trying to kill me? I’m
already hard as a rock. Saying things like that is going to make me
not be able to walk for hours.”
“I’ll make it all better later,” she says,
leaning in to bite my ear.
“Not helping.”
“Wasn’t meant to. You do need a little
punishment after yesterday.”
With that she pushes off the bar and sashays
away. Her hips are swinging, and that perfect ass of hers is
tormenting me. And fuck if I don’t deserve the sweet torture she’s
dishing out to me, but I can’t wait for my reward, either.
I don’t have to wait as long as I thought I
would. Around the time I would normally take my break, Ellie
catches my eye from the hallway and crooks her finger at me. God, I
love it when she does that to me. It always means something good. I
tell the other bartenders that I’m on break and practically run to
her office.
She pulls me to her the
second I clear the door. I have enough sense left to reach behind
me and lock it as her mouth fuses to mine, but barely. Her nails
are lightly scratching my scalp on the sides as I squeeze her hips.
I love her mouth, but I want more. I
need
more.
“What can I do to you, Doll? Tell me. I need
to make you come,” I’m practically begging her as I pull my mouth
from hers.
She swallows hard and then
nods. “Your mouth. Just your mouth.
Please
.”
I have her skirt unzipped and her panties
down her thighs before she can change her mind. I practically toss
her on her desk, causing her to squeal a little. “Spread your legs
for me.”
She does, and I get down to business,
finally able to taste her sweet pussy again. I take my time at
first, licking and sucking her into the first orgasm. For the
second one, I add some teeth, and with the third, I’m pretty much
fucking her with my mouth, tongue, and teeth as she nearly pulls my
hair out. I’m going for a fourth, when she successfully pushes my
head away.
“Enough, Hawk. I can’t again. Not yet. I’m
out of practice, and you’ll kill me.”
“I want more, later,” I tell her, licking my
lips.
“I’m not going to say no, especially since
I’ll be able to pass out later and not have to worry about
work.”
“Challenge accepted. Now, what’d you get us
for dinner?” I ask, hopping on the desk next to her and reaching
for the bags on the side of it.
“Oh no you don’t,” she says, smacking my
hand away. “There’s something big I need to take care of first.”
She looks at my crotch, and I feel myself grow even harder under
her gaze. Not sure how that’s possible since I’ve been stretched to
what I thought was my limit all night already, but it’s Ellie, and
my cock loves her like no other.
“I should say no.”
“But you won’t.”
“Turn down a blow job from you? No, I can
pretty much guarantee that I will never do that.”
“Then lean back, and let’s do this old
school.”
It takes me a few seconds to get what she
means, but when I do, I can’t contain my smile. “Fuck, yeah.”
One of our first times
together after I finally admitted we should
be
together was in the gym at the
Foundation. We tried all different things, including what she’s
positioned herself to do right now. A push-up blow job.
I unzip my jeans, and free my cock for her
as she puts one hand behind me, and one hand in between my legs.
Leaning down, she takes me in her mouth, as far as I can go before
I’m hitting the back of her throat. She starts pumping her arms up
and down, and taking her mouth with her.
A blow job is pretty much
always a good thing. I mean, I think I had one disastrous adventure
in high school, but since then, it’s always been smooth sailing.
With Ellie though, it’s a whole other experience. Probably because
she’s the first person I’ve ever truly given myself to. Or at least
as much of myself as I can give. As her mouth slides up and down
me, and she twists her tongue over me, it doesn’t take me long at
all. I’m clutching the desk behind me so hard that I feel the wood
creak as I force myself not to yell out. Yeah, we’re in a locked
office, but the walls aren’t
that
thick.