Authors: Kelly Van Hull
Finally, I’ve had enough. I’ve had enough with all the secrets. What is it that they’re hiding anyway? Why don’t they want to say how they know each other?
I stand up and walk over to the spot where Jack and Bentley are sitting by each other, deep into a heated conversation.
“Okay, I’ve had enough of this.” I’m pointing my finger at them and with every jab in the air, I feel more and more like my mom. “You two are going to tell me what’s going on here. What is it with you two? I know you guys know each other. What’s going on here? For real, this time.”
Callie laughs, looking from Jack to Bentley. “She doesn’t know?” she asks.
“Know what?” I persist, as my pulse quickens. It occurs to me that everyone here knows more than I do. It’s an odd feeling, but I’m not backing off.
“Callie, wait,” Bentley raises his hand as if to hush her, but before he can, she says it.
“I thought you knew, Dani. Jack and Bentley….well, they,” she hesitates, “they’re brothers.”
My mind is reeling. I’m trying to connect every memory I have of them and connect them as brothers. Why would they lie to me about this? What would be the point?
Before I realize what I’m doing, I'm racing out to the woods. The moon is covered by clouds and denying me the light I need. I hear Jack following behind me and I quicken my pace so he can’t catch me.
I don’t even know why I’m running. I feel betrayed, but I’m not really sure why. They don’t owe me that information, but what are they hiding?
I haven’t gotten very far before I have tripped over a tree root. Before my hands can catch my fall, I’ve slammed my mouth straight into the dirt that feels a lot more like concrete.
I hurry up, nothing seriously harmed but my pride. Instead of continuing to run like a crazy person, I slow down and wait for the inevitable. I know it’s Jack behind me. I can picture his kind face that is now distorted by the ugliness of so many lies.
“Dani, stop! Please, just stop. I can explain everything,” Jack pleads.
I want to keep going, but I do have the underlying fear of what’s out here in these wild woods, but I’m also afraid to go back there and face them. I feel like such a fool. Defeated.
I stop, but not to let him explain. I do it so we can just go back. I don’t have any desire to actually talk to him, but the truth is, I need to get back. I need to get out of these woods before something happens to me.
If it were just me, I might just keep running out of sheer stubbornness. But the week I spent in the woods lost and away from Brody is fresh in my mind. I’m going to have to swallow my pride and go back. Hopefully, I can just slink into the cabin unnoticed and shut the world out for a while.
Jack is content to have me going back in the right direction, so he doesn’t say anything until we reach the outskirts of Tent City.
“Five minutes,” Jack finally says.
This catches me off guard. Such a simple statement.
“Just give me five minutes, and after the five minutes, if you want me to leave you alone forever, I will. I’m not even saying you owe it to me, but please, just five minutes.”
I don’t answer him and he takes that as his permission. He follows me back into the cabin where Brody is sleeping peacefully. I move over to the other side of the cabin, careful not to wake him.
Kit pops in quick and gives me a questioning look of, “are you okay?” I nod without words and she leaves with Grant.
The few campers left by the fire seem to have disbanded and the others are presumably out on patrol again. I am just happy not to have to face them.
Jack
spends the first three of his five minutes in silence. Just as I am about to ask him to leave, he walks over to his bag and removes some items. I’m sitting on the floor with my back against the wall, knees up and head in my hands.
He sits in front of me and begins to rip away some medical gauze and splashes some rubbing alcohol on the webbed cloth.
He is still silent and he carefully raises the treated gauze and places it to my lower lip as my hands fall away. It stings. I didn’t realize I had even cut it open, but the alcohol is introducing me to the pain. I wince a little and he backs off. He is still saying nothing.
He gets up again and retrieves a container of baby wipes. My mind wonders why he has them and where they came from. He sits down in front of me again, still not saying a word.
My hair is hanging wildly over my shoulders. He removes the ponytail holder from my wrist and fastens it back. He has revealed my exposed arms, as I am wearing only a tank top. They are covered in mud and a little of the blood that has spilled from my lip. I’m watching him, but he’s lost in his work.
This feels too intimate, but I don’t stop him. He loosens a baby wipe from the package and begins to clear the mud and blood from my arm. The scent of aloe is wafting in the air. He’s still silent.
He inspects the skin as he cleans it, searching for cuts or abrasions. When he finds even the smallest scratch, he treats it with the alcohol. Still not talking. Finally when his work is done, and I don’t think I can stand another minute of silence, he begins.
“I’m ashamed of where I come from. Bentley and I
are
brothers. He doesn’t want to talk about it anymore than I do. As much as we don’t have in common, that we do. I should have told you from the beginning.”
“Told me what, exactly.” All the anger is gone and is now replaced by curiosity. What could be so bad that they would want to hide the fact that they are brothers?
I can see he is uncomfortable so I allow him to take his time. He has started to fidget with the used baby wipes and is shredding them to pieces. I take his hands to still him, the dirty damp cloths between us, oddly comforting.
“It’s fine Jack, you can tell me. You can trust me.” I look him in the eyes now and all I can see is hurt. His beautiful gray eyes are filled with pain. I fight the urge to shift my gaze.
“The moment you took off for the woods in that rabies infested forest, I decided that I would tell you the truth, all of it.”
He puts his supplies back in his bag and continues, “but it’s dangerous, Dani. If people found out who we are, it would change everything for Tent City. Everyone here that has found safety would be at risk.”
“It’s okay, how bad can it be?” My hands tremble slightly. He seems to be so conflicted on what to say that all of a sudden I change my mind. I have secrets too. He’s not entitled to them. Why am I entitled to his?
“Jack, you don’t have to tell me anything. I trust you. If you want to keep that information, it won’t change anything. I can accept that. Just tell me, are we really in danger?”
He exhales a long breath ruffling his bangs. He looks so tormented.
“No, I need to tell you some stuff. I just need to get it out of the way. I don’t want you ever to feel like you have to run away from me again. It’s just hard. I’ve had this stuff bottled up for so long. I don’t talk about it with anyone, not even Bentley.”
The intensity of the day is catching up with me and fatigue washes over me. I’m trying to keep my eyes open, but it feels as if I’ve been drugged. With each blink of my eyes, it gets harder to lift my lids back up.
“Am I boring you?” he says with a chuckle, and he’s on his feet. “Let’s get you to bed.” He lifts me up easily and lays me in the bed.
I’m beginning to wonder if I hit my head when I hit the ground. I’m so tired. He pulls the covers over me and I sleepily point towards the bed Brody is in. He understands that I mean for him to check on him and he does.
He comes back to my side, removes my ponytail, and arranges my hair out of my face, lingering on the ends, flipping them through his fingers.
“Someday, I’m going to tell you everything,” he whispers, as he leans over and kisses me goodnight.
I wake up to the sound of more gunshots and find Brody has crawled in with me some time during the night. He eyes dart open and he looks to me to tell him what it is. He doesn’t seem scared as much as curious.
“I don’t know,” I answer. He hops up and runs toward the window.
I dress quickly and try to do the same for Brody. He brushes me away, insisting that he can do it himself. He picks out clothes that do not match and I find myself yearning for Mom so she could see how he’s growing.
He does allow me to run a comb through his hair and I realize just how long it’s has gotten. The curls almost reach his shoulders and I make a mental note to trim it later.
I take a quick peek in the mirror and I am surprised by my fat lip. Taking in the whole picture, I look like crap.
My hair is a rat’s nest. My skin is scratched and bruised. I’ve probably lost 10 pounds and I look gaunt. My cheeks are slightly sunken in and I have rings under my eyes. I don’t usually care much about how I look, but for some reason this is disturbing to me.
I understand the gunshots and the urgency to figure out this rabies problem, but for some reason, I feel a huge need to do something about
this
.
I find Callie in the kitchen preparing breakfast, as if nothing has happened and there aren’t gunshots going off in the background.
“Good morning,” she says, as she flashes me that brilliant smile and I am reminded even more how terrible I must look.
She is put together, as usual, with her jet black hair in a soft bun. Her clothes are clean and well-fitting.
“Can I get you something to eat?” she asks. “You look like you could use it.”
“Um, no, actually I was kind of hoping you could look after Brody for maybe an hour. There’s something I need to do.”
I don’t normally ask anyone but Kit to look after Brody, but he and Callie spend so much time together anyway and I know he would love a morning in the kitchen.
“Sure!” She brightens. I can tell she has been itching to have him all to herself for a while. “Take your time.” At this, she leans down and asks Brody if he wants to help her fry up some eggs she got in yesterday.
He hasn’t had eggs for weeks; I’m sure he’s delighted. I can’t help but think she discovered his love of eggs and maybe even had something to do with getting him some.
I thank her and leave, eager to find Kit. I check almost everywhere before it dawns on me that she’s probably at Grant’s. I find her there. They are saying their good-byes, as it is Grant’s turn for a perimeter run.
I’ve never seen Kit stay with one guy for so long before. Usually, she tires of them after about a week. They actually sort of look like they’re in love.
“Good morning Sunshine.” She smiles and she’s absolutely glowing, which reminds me why I’ve been looking for her in the first place.
“I need your help.”
“Sure, what’s up?”
“We need to stop by our tent. I’ll tell you on the way.”
We stop by our old tent, her tent now, and get our supplies before heading down to the waterhole where everyone bathes. It’s this bubbly stream that empties out into a shallow pool. I search around making sure that no one is around before I strip off my clothes and
wade into the chilly water.
I spend at least 10 minutes scrubbing off the grime before I ask her to hand me the shampoo. She looks worriedly at me, but doesn’t say anything. She just hands me what I ask for and waits patiently for me to finish.
I step out, dry off and put some of her fresh clothes on and tell her to begin. She looks at me with confusion.
“What’s going on?” she asks.
“What do you mean? I need your help. Have you seen me lately? How could you not tell me what a mess I am?” I hand her the comb and it sticks in a knot on her first swipe.