The Book of Margery Kempe (29 page)

On one occasion our Lord spoke to the said creature, when it pleased him, saying to her spiritual understanding, ‘Daughter, for as many times as you have received the blessed sacrament of the altar with many more holy thoughts than you can repeat, for as many times you shall be rewarded in heaven with new joys and new comforts. And daughter, in heaven it shall be known to you
how many days you have had of high contemplation through my gift on earth, and although they are my gifts and graces which I have given you, yet you shall have the same grace and reward in heaven as if they were of your own merits, for I have freely given them to you.

‘But I thank you highly, daughter, that you have allowed me to work my will in you, and that you would let me be so homely with you. For in nothing, daughter, that you might do on earth might you any better please me than allow me to speak to you in your soul, for at that time you understand my will and I understand your will. And also, daughter, you call my mother to come into your soul, and take me in her arms, and lay me to her breasts and give me suck.
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‘Also, daughter, I know the holy thoughts and the good desires that you have when you receive me, and the good charity that you have towards me in the time that you receive my precious body into your soul, and also how you call Mary Magdalene into your soul to welcome me, for, daughter, I know well enough what you are thinking. You think that she is worthiest, in your soul, and you trust most in her prayers, next to my mother, and so you may indeed, daughter, for she is a very great mediator to me for you in the bliss of heaven. And sometimes, daughter, you think your soul so large and so wide that you call all the court of heaven into your soul to welcome me. I know very well, daughter, what you say: “Come, all twelve apostles, who were so well beloved of God on earth, and receive your Lord in my soul.”

‘You also pray Katherine, Margaret, and all holy virgins to welcome me in your soul. And then you pray my blessed mother, Mary Magdalene, all apostles, martyrs, confessors, Katherine, Margaret, and all holy virgins, that they should decorate the chamber of your soul with many fair flowers and with many sweet spices, so that I might rest there within.

‘Furthermore, you sometimes imagine, daughter, that you have a cushion of gold, another of red velvet, the third of white silk, in your soul. And you think that my Father sits on the cushion of gold, for with him lies might and power. And you think that I, the
Second Person of the Trinity, your love and your joy, sit on the red cushion of velvet, for upon me is all your thought, because I bought you so dearly, and you think that you can never requite me the love that I have shown you, though you were slain a thousand times a day, if it were possible, for my love. Thus you think, daughter, in your soul, that I am worthy to sit on a red cushion, in remembrance of the red blood that I shed for you. Moreover, you think that the Holy Ghost sits on a white cushion, for you think that he is full of love and purity, and therefore it is fitting for him to sit on a white cushion, for he is a giver of all holy thoughts and chastity.

‘And yet I know well enough, daughter, that you think you may not worship the Father unless you worship the Son, and that you may not worship the Son unless you worship the Holy Ghost. And you also think sometimes, daughter, that the Father is almighty and all-knowing, and all grace and goodness, and you think the same of the Son, that he is almighty and all-knowing and all grace and goodness. And you think that the Holy Ghost has the same properties, equal with the Father and the Son, and proceeding from them both.

‘You also think that each of the three Persons in the Trinity has what the other has in their Godhead, and so you truly believe, daughter, in your soul, that there are three divers Persons and one God in substance, and that each knows what the others know, and each may do what the others may, and each wills what the others will. And, daughter, this is a true faith and a right faith, and this faith you have only of my gift.

‘And therefore, daughter, if you will consider thoroughly, you have great cause to love me very well, and to give me your heart completely, so that I may fully rest within it, as I wish to myself. For if you allow me, daughter, to rest in your soul on earth, believe it indeed that you shall rest with me in heaven without end.

‘And therefore, daughter, don't be surprised if you weep bitterly when you are given communion, and receive my blessed body in form of bread, for you pray to me before you receive communion,
saying to me in your mind, “As surely, Lord, as you love me, make me clean from all sin, and give me grace to receive your precious body worthily, with all manner of worship and reverence.”

‘And, daughter, rest assured that I hear your prayer, for you may not say anything to please me better than “as surely as I love you”, for then I fulfil my grace in you, and give you many a holy thought – it is impossible to tell them all.

‘And because of the great homeliness that I show towards you at that time, you are much bolder to ask for grace for yourself, for your husband, for your children; and you make every Christian man and woman your child in your soul for the time, and would have as much grace for them as for your own children. You also ask for mercy for your husband, and you think you are much beholden to me, that I have given you the sort of man who would let you live chaste, he being alive and in good physical health. In truth, daughter, you think most truly, and therefore you have great cause to love me very well.

‘Daughter, if you knew how many wives there are in this world, who would love me and serve me well and duly, if they might be as free from their husbands as you are from yours, you would say that you were very much beholden to me. And yet they are thwarted from their will and suffer very great pain, and therefore they shall have great reward in heaven, for I receive every good will as a deed.

‘Sometimes, daughter, I make you have great sorrow for your confessor's sins especially, so that he should have as full forgiveness for his sins as you would have for yours. And sometimes, when you receive the precious sacrament, I make you pray for your confessor in this way – that as many men and women might be turned by his preaching, as you wish were turned by the tears of your eyes, and that my holy words might settle as keenly in their hearts, as you wish they would settle in your heart. And you also ask the same grace for all good men who preach my word on earth, that they might bring profit to all reasonable creatures.

‘And often, on the day that you receive my precious body, you
ask for grace and mercy for all your friends, and for all your enemies who ever caused you shame or rebuke, either scorned you or jibed at you for the grace that I work in you, and for all this world, both young and old, bitterly weeping many tears and sobbing. You have suffered much shame and much reproof, and therefore you shall have very much bliss in heaven.

‘Daughter, do not be ashamed to receive my grace when I will give it you, for I shall not be ashamed of you, so that you shall be received into the bliss of heaven – there to be rewarded for every good thought, for every good word, and for every good deed, and for every day of contemplation, and for all good desires that you have had here in this world – with me everlastingly as my beloved darling, as my blessed spouse, and as my holy wife.

‘And therefore, do not be afraid, daughter, though people wonder why you weep so bitterly when you receive me, for, if they knew what grace I place in you at that time, they should rather wonder that your heart does not burst asunder. And so it should, if I did not control that grace myself; but you see for yourself, daughter, that when you have received me into your soul, you are in peace and quiet, and sob no longer. And at this people are greatly amazed, but it need be no surprise to you, for you know that I proceed like a husband who would wed a wife. At the time he weds her, he thinks he is sure enough of her, and that no man shall part them, for then, daughter, they may go to bed together without any shame or fear of other people, and sleep in rest and peace if they will. And things are like this between you and me, daughter, for you have every week, especially on Sunday, great fear and dread in your soul how you may best be sure of my love, and, with great reverence and holy dread, how you may best receive me to the salvation of your soul, with all manner of meekness, humility and charity, as any lady in this world is busy to receive her husband, when he comes home and has been long away from her.

‘My beloved daughter, I thank you highly for all people whom you have looked after when ill in my name, and for all kindness and service that you have done them in any degree, for you shall
have the same reward with me in heaven, as though you had looked after my own self, while I was here on earth. Also, daughter, I thank you for as many times as you have bathed me, in your soul, at home in your chamber, as though I had been present there in my manhood, for I well know, daughter, all the holy thoughts that you have shown me in your mind. And also, daughter, I thank you for all the times that you have harboured me and my blessed mother in your bed.

‘For these, and all other good thoughts and good deeds that you have thought in my name, and performed for my love, you shall have with me and with my mother, with my holy angels, with my apostles, with my martyrs, confessors and virgins, and with all my holy saints, all manner of joy and bliss, lasting without end.'

The said creature lay very still in the church, hearing and understanding this sweet dalliance in her soul as clearly as if one friend was speaking to another. And when she heard the great promises that our Lord promised her, then she thanked him with much weeping and sobbing, and with many holy and reverent thoughts, saying in her mind, ‘Lord Jesus, blessed may you be, for I never deserved this of you, but I wish I were in that place where I should never displease you from this time forward.'

With such manner of thoughts, and many more than I could ever write, she worshipped and magnified our Lord Jesus Christ for his holy visitation and his comfort. And in such kinds of visitations and holy contemplations as are written before, though much more subtle and higher without comparison than are written, the said creature had continued her life, through the preserving of our Saviour Jesus Christ, for more than twenty-five
years when this treatise was written, week by week, day by day, unless she were occupied with sick folk, or else prevented by some other needful occupation which was necessary to her or to her fellow Christians. Then it was withdrawn sometimes, for it can only be had in great quietness of soul through long exercise.

By this manner of speech and converse she was made mighty and strong in the love of our Lord, and greatly stabilized in her faith, and increased in meekness and charity with other good virtues. And she firmly and steadfastly believed that it was God that spoke in her soul, and no evil spirit, for in his speech she had most strength and most comfort and most increase of virtue – blessed be God.

Various times, when this creature was so ill that she expected to die, and other people thought the same, it was answered in her soul that she should not die, but she should live and be well, and so she did. Sometimes our Lady spoke to her, and comforted her in her sickness. Sometimes St Peter, or St Paul, sometimes St Mary Magdalene, St Katherine, St Margaret, or whichever saint in heaven that she could think of, through the will and sufferance of God, spoke to the understanding of her soul, and informed her how she should love God and how she should best please him, and answered to whatever she would ask them, and she could understand by their manner of speaking which of them it was that spoke to her and comforted her.

Our Lord, of his mercy, visited her so much and so plentifully with his holy speeches and his holy dalliance, that many times she did not know how the day went. She sometimes supposed that periods of five or six hours had not been the space of an hour. It was so sweet and so devout that it was as if she had been in heaven. She never thought it was a long time, and she was never irked by it – the time went past, she knew not how. She would rather have served God, if she could have lived so long, for a hundred years in this manner of life, than one day as she first began.

And she often said to our Lord Jesus, ‘Ah, Lord Jesus, since it is so sweet to weep for your love on earth, I well know it will be
truly joyful to be with you in heaven. Therefore, Lord, I pray you, let me never have other joy on earth but mourning and weeping for your love. For I think, Lord, though I were in hell, if I might weep there and mourn for your love as I do here, hell would not annoy me, but it would be a kind of heaven, for your love sets aside every sort of fear of our spiritual enemy, and I had rather be there as long as you wished, and please you, than be in this world and displease you. Therefore, Lord, as you will, so may it be.'

When this book was first being written the said creature was more at home in her chamber with the man doing the writing, and said fewer beads than she had done for years before, in order to speed the writing. And when she came to church to hear mass, intending to say her matins and such other devotions as she had performed before, her heart was drawn away from recitation and much set upon meditation. She being afraid of the displeasure of our Lord, he said to her soul, ‘Do not be afraid, daughter, for as many beads as you would like to say, I accept them as though you said them; and your concentration on getting written down the grace that I have shown you pleases me greatly, and he who is doing the writing as well. For though you were in church and both wept together as bitterly as you ever did, you still would not please me more than you do with your writing, for, daughter, by this book many a man shall be turned to me and believe.

‘Daughter, where is a better prayer, by your own reason, than to pray to me with your heart or your thought? Daughter, when you pray by thought, you yourself understand what you ask of me, and you also understand what I say to you, and you understand what I promise to you and yours, and to all your confessors. And as for Master Robert, your confessor, I have granted you
what you desired, that he should have half your tears and half the good works that I have worked in you.
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Therefore he shall truly be rewarded for your weeping, as though he had wept himself. And believe indeed, daughter, that you shall be very merry in heaven together at the last, and shall bless the time that you ever knew each other.

‘And, daughter, you shall bless me without end that I ever gave you so true a confessor, for, though he has been sharp with you sometimes, it has been greatly to your advantage, for otherwise you would have had too great an affection for him personally. And when he was sharp to you, then you ran with all your mind to me, saying, “Lord, there is no trust but in you alone.” And then you cried to me with all your heart, “Lord, for your smarting wounds, draw all my love into your heart.” And, daughter, so I have done.

‘You often think that I have done very much for you, and you think that it is a great miracle that I have drawn all your affection to me, for sometimes you were so fond of some particular person, that you thought at the time that it would have been in a way impossible to have withdrawn your affection from him. And later you have desired, if it pleased me, that this same person should have forsaken you for my love, for, if he had not supported you, few men would have set any value on you, as it seemed. And you thought, if he had abandoned you, it would have been the greatest rebuke that ever befell you in people's eyes; and therefore you would willingly have endured that reproof for my love, if it had pleased me.

‘And so, with such doleful thoughts you increased your love towards me, and therefore, daughter, I receive your desires as if they were done indeed. And I well know that you have very true love for that same person, and I have often said to you that he would be very glad to love you, and that he would believe it is God that speaks in you, and no devil. Also, daughter, that person has very well pleased me, because he has often in his sermons excused your weeping and your crying, and so has Master Aleyn done as well, and therefore they shall have very great reward in
heaven. Daughter, I have told you many times that I should maintain your weeping and your crying by sermons and preaching.

‘Also, daughter, I tell you that Master Robert, your confessor, pleases me very much when he tells you to believe that I love you. And I know that you have great faith in his words, and so you may, for he will not flatter you. And also, daughter, I am highly pleased with him, because he tells you that you should sit still and give your heart to meditation, and think such holy thoughts as God will put into your mind. I have often told you so myself, and yet you will not do so except with much grumbling.

‘And yet I am not displeased with you, daughter, for I have often said to you that whether you pray with your mouth, or think with your heart, whether you read or hear things read, I will be pleased with you. And yet, daughter, I tell you, if you would believe me, that thinking is best for you and will most increase your love towards me; and the more homely that you allow me to be in your soul on earth, it is worthy and right that I be the more homely with your soul in heaven. And therefore, daughter, if you will not follow my advice, follow the advice of your confessor, for he bids you do the same as I bid you do.

‘Daughter, when your confessor says to you that you displease God, you believe him, and then you feel much sorrow and great misery and weep copiously until you have gained grace again. And then I often come to you myself and comfort you, for, daughter, I cannot allow you to have pain for any time without having to remedy it. And therefore, daughter, I come to you and make you sure of my love, and tell you with my own mouth that you are as sure of my love as God is God, and that nothing on earth that you may see with your bodily eye is so secure to you. And therefore, blessed daughter, love him that loves you, and do not forget me, daughter, for I do not forget you, for my merciful eye is ever upon you. And my merciful mother knows that very well, daughter, for she has often told you so, and many other saints as well.

‘And therefore, daughter, you have great cause to love me well,
and to give me your whole heart with all your affections, for that I desire, and nothing else, from you. And I shall give you in return my whole heart. And if you will be obedient to my will, I shall be obedient to your will, daughter – believe it indeed.'