—Goddamn if I won’t see some British decency in this house, even if it’s only tea at four, Massa Humphrey say.
—Then I’s best be about fixing it, massa, Homer say.
—No, let her do it. The girl in the cellar. Her teas are particularly robust, if I remember. Not so, Quinn?
—Robust indeed, Robert Quinn say.
Lilith didn’t look at the face she know Homer giving her.
8
The NEXT MORNING, LILITH WAS In The CELLAR BRUSHING cobweb from a silver tray. The kitchen still dark as if no sun was coming. She look at herself and know that she never come ’cross no other woman with her colour eye save for Gorgon and Hippolyta, and they both ugly. She start to believe that Jack Wilkins really be her daddy and the road set before her was going to wind a different way than most nigger. That make her walk straighter. Three time she ask Homer ’bout her real mother and three time Homer go quiet. She wonder if her mother be like her, but without the green eye, of course. She wonder if she was short or tall or fat, or if she get kilt ’cause her spirit wouldn’t dim like lamp. All she learn from Homer is that her mama dead the same time she born and that make Lilith feel bad. Mayhaps she was Jack Wilkins’ chère amie and he did hold her soft while she dead.
Lilith have more question inside her heart, a dozen question all beginning with why, that she don’t ask nobody. Plus she too ’fraid to ask Jack Wilkins and word was that him mind not be the same since he lose the overseer work. The only other soul who might know a thing or two be Tantalus the mad nigger, who was part of this arrangement too. She try to arrange her thinking. Jack Wilkins fuck her mother, her mother get heavy with niggerkin and dead giving birth. Jack Wilkins pass the baby on to Circe for mothering and put her to live with Tantalus for fathering. That don’t make no sense and Lilith cuss. From down in the cellar Lilith hear something smash from upstairs, most likely the mistress’ room. She smashing her Wedgwood china again. Mayhaps old age drive everybody mad at Montpelier. Mayhaps madness be the only thing that afflict white man and nigger alike.
—Lilith, potato waiting on you, Homer shout from the kitchen.
—Hoity-toity nigger deh ’pon the evening shift, say Andromeda. Lilith don’t have nothing to say. Even Homer did turn around, waiting for Lilith smart mouth. But Lilith go over to her corner and sit down and peel potato with her back to everybody. That be near enough to throw the kitchen into ’ruption. Lilith smart mouth for all her rudeness did now become part of the house nigger morning rhythm and slave need a rhythm to carry through the day.
—Jesus Christ, is who break wind in here? Pallas say and look straight at Chiron.
—Me can’t even break egg, he say.
—Smell like you just crack a rotten one with you arse, Pallas say and everybody laugh except Lilith. The laughing bring back the morning and lock Lilith out.
Lilith spirited from the day she first play with the other pickneys and call herself princess. This was Tantalus’ fault for he used to show her the page from the backra storybook whenever she behave like a good little girl. She didn’t know her head was high until other womens say so. But now her head hang low and the only thing that lift her up is the early, early morning when owl going home and nobody awake. That be the time she up and waiting for two riders to come back to Montpelier. And when Massa Humphrey ride up to the kitchen and fling himself into a chair and he and Robert Quinn ask for tea she ready already. She like even more when Robert Quinn not with him and he make conversation with her, even if that be about the damn sun that rise too fast or why Don Juan is lost on a whore and other things that she can only say yes massa to and wish she didn’t have a slow nigger mind. When he laugh, she giggle like an agreeable girl even if she don’t know what she laughing for. Lilith want him to take her up in the house and out of common negro life. Lilith hear about massas and they chère amie and she know she prettier than any other negro in the field or in the house. But she wish there was a nigger to teach her woman things.
Lilith peeling potato and pondering in a way that negro girl not supposed to ponder. She set her sight for the mistress at first but then her behaviour get uncanny and she call Lilith a big piece of black poo. But when the massa drunk and sprawl out and laughing to himself in the kitchen, Lilith start to see him in a new way. Just a drop more sugar, darling, is all he need to say and she carry that one last word for the whole morning, never mind that he call her a backward nigger cunt when she take too long and the tea too hot.
Lilith watch him from the kitchen window as he rein him black horse (white horse on a Sunday) and get dirt on him breeches when he lie down under the tree to the side of the conservatory, talking white people affairs with Robert Quinn. Lilith watch him taking him shirt off all the time. Him chest rise and fall when he laugh and him nipples surround by delicious pink the way a nigger own surround by nasty black. Lilith see him smile and think nothing evil could come out of that mouth. Lilith don’t see that while he and Robert Quinn talking they have a negro whipping a slave girl hard for thieving out sugar to sell in Sunday market. The girl gagged so that she wouldn’t disturb nobody with her screaming. Lilith see the road that goin’ take her out of hard life but not sure what to do. Circe in the past would read her face and slap that stray thinking out but that woman dead. Lilith close her eye, shutting out the cellar darkness for her own and breathe in deep and try to remember what Massa Humphrey smell like. Then a quick thought run past her head. It run again and again until her heart beat fast and her temple kicking her ears. A nigger smart enough to know that any yes must be follow quick with a no. But this morning no gone on trip and not coming back. She thinking crazy-like and the crazy run through her. She wait for when Homer not looking and dash off to the hallway. Three doors down on the left be the linen closet.
The New Year’s Eve ball was coming in ten weeks. Lilith not suppose to be upstairs but she grab bed linen from the closet. Lilith make it all the way upstairs to where the massa bedroom be, only to hear the dogs outside barking like they never bark before. Lilith keep on she gait and see a room door open and look in just as Massa Humphrey jump out of bed and dash to the window. Him body lean and dark on the limbs but white like porcelain in the chest, waist and hips. He turn and grab for him breeches and him penis swing and swing like it want to go back to the window. Massa member swing low like it hanging from a red tree that burst into flame like the red hair on him head. He pull the breeches over him bare arse.
—Hand me those, he say to her and point to the boots.
The dogs barking louder. Lilith drop her bundle to pick up the boots and forget that she did fix her dress so that her titties push like fruit that sell in the market. Though her own come first, she feel right there that other woman titty grown fast past her. She wish she did have some beet to rub on her lip and her cheek. Massa Humphrey grab the boots away from her and pull them on. The dogs getting more louder. Lilith looking round the room for him shirt and get lost in the big bed that command the middle, with four post make out of dark wood that raise all the way up into the ceiling that swirl round and round with naked baby angel. By the time she look back down to the floor, Massa Humphrey brush past her and gone. Lilith still. She grab the bed linen and almost give herself a start. She just stand there in the room waiting for the bed to give her something. She didn’t hear when the dogs stop bark, but she hear the new sound. Sound that never come from the great house yet, that of a laughing woman in Montpelier. The woman laugh again. Lilith leave the massa bedroom and go to the stairs so she could see the door. Homer at the doorway.
Out in the courtyard be a black brougham carriage, big enough to seat four, with a negro at the reins dress up in a green suit and two white horse that get frighten by the dogs. Massa Humphrey run down the steps, and shoo away the dogs. Then he quiet the horse.
—Oh thank heavens, a voice say. A voice that belong to a young white woman. The massa surprise plenty ’cause nobody ever visit Montpelier just so.
—I thought hell’s very hounds were about to make short work of me, she say.—And to think I’ve been such a good girl.
Massa Humphrey perplex. Lilith could see next to nothing. Homer go upstairs to Massa Humphrey room. Lilith watching the doorway and didn’t see her. Then the woman in carriage yell out, Master Wilson! When she see him naked hand waiting to help.
—I daresay, Lord Wilson, that I shall not be seen speaking to a man in such scandalous undress! she say. Massa Humphrey look round himself ’cause he don’t know what she mean.
—Madam? he say, looking down on him breeches that button right and tuck in him boots that did shine only last night.
—I repeat, the lady Roget shall not be manhandled by a man with no shirt on, sir, even if he is a gentleman, or claims as much, she say and sit back down in the carriage.
Lilith see Homer going back down the stairs and wonder when she come up. Massa Humphrey huff and puff and get red. Then he hear giggling in the carriage and smile. Homer, a shirt if you please, and a waistcoat, he say but Homer already at the door with white shirt, cravat, a shiny green waistcoat with a yellow flower pattern and Massa Humphrey favourite banyan that dark blue and shiny and flow all the way down to the ground and spread wide like wings when he walk. Massa Humphrey dress himself right in front of the carriage while the woman inside giggle.
—A thousand pardons, ma’am, I trust I’m far more presentable now, he say and bow low and grin like little boy.
—A little, the voice say and push out her hand.
The lady wearing a wide blue bonnet with a cream bow tie under her chin. Some of her hair tumble out and it curly and yellow. Her dress match her hat, blue with short sleeve and cut low in the front to show her bosom. The dress tie right above her waist with a cream ribbon and spread loose like brandy bottle. Montpelier never see nothing looking so lovely since Jack Wilkins’ daddy come back from a trip with three peacock. She fanning her face. A small face, like a teacup that round like a heart with cheeks higher than the mistress’ own. Two red lip and eyes an ashy colour. Massa Humphrey escorting her away when everybody hear a coughing from the carriage. An old woman hobble to the step wearing nothing but black.
—You’re a cruel one, Master Wilson, to pay no heed to my chaperone, the woman say.
—Chaperone? Massa Humphrey say.
—Well, surely you would not expect a lady to come to a gentleman’s abode all by her lonesome, would you? That would be irredeemingly improper, she say. Massa Humphrey instruct one of the manservant to help the chaperone, who didn’t look too happy that niggerman was touching her.
The lady who come to Montpelier before breakfast name Miss Isobel Roget. She say her sorry for coming so early and blame the ninny nigger coachman who guess wrong the distance from Coulibre to here. Miss Isobel say she come on account of him distress. Seems everybody did know ’bout the legendary Wilson New Year’s Eve ball and everybody also know that Mistress Wilson under the weather lately. Why, it’s my duty as a lady to help, Miss Isobel say. Rumour was that the new governor, Sir George Nugent, would expect an invitation and him wife, Lady Nugent, never satisfied with anything. Miss Isobel repeat that it was her duty as a lady and a neighbour and as a friend to help in any way she can. Massa Humphrey perplex, but he didn’t have nothing to say ’gainst woman reasoning.
—So we are agreed, Miss Isobel say.
Lilith get plenty time to see Miss Isobel, she the daughter of the massa of Coulibre. Massa Humphrey grateful for her, but is long time he living the island way and working himself back into a gentleman was a hard thing.
Since then Miss Isobel be coming to Montpelier every day of the week. The ball was coming and there be plenty thing to do. Lilith hatred turning to fever. She try to fix her dress to show even more bosom but since Miss Isobel come, Massa Humphrey cut down on the night carousing. Not long after, he stop coming at all, leaving Lilith in the morning to see how much she hate her own company. One morning she hear a sound in the kitchen and run up to see only Robert Quinn sitting by the table and looking out at the morning sky, waiting mayhaps.
She spend one whole night with a comb to straighten her hair, but the hair stay negro and curl back ’pon itself. Lilith go back to spending much time looking at herself in the silver tray in the kitchen. She grab the bed linen, which she not supposed to do, and run upstairs and go in the massa room extra early when he just about to wake up. She know he be sleeping naked like how he born. She know how some white woman think that be scandalous. Lilith come in just as he wake up with the bed linen in her hand and her bosom push up like she selling them. The massa walk right past her and go to the privy. She watch him not watching her. Lilith watch him shake it, then go back in him room and pull on him breeches, then stop, pull them back off and shout to Homer to fetch him clean clothes that gentleman receiving company should wear. Homer come in and step right pass Lilith like she don’t see Lilith either. Homer go over to the closet that bigger than slave quarters and come out with dark green breeches and shiny brown boot that pull all the way up to the knee. She help him put on white shirt and cravat. Then him waistcoat.
—Will this please the lady Isobel? he ask Homer.
Homer look straight at Lilith.
—Me think it going please her plenty, massa, she say.
The massa rub him belly and growl like animal and Homer say, Miss Isobel be here already, so remember to act like a proper gentleman. Massa Humphrey laugh at Homer and step through the door, him banyan flowing like huge blue wings. Homer look at Lilith. Lilith place the bed linen in a red armchair by the door and leave.
Lilith stay up every night after that waiting for the full moon. The special full moon that big and gold and heavy and rise low over the Blue Mountain. When the moon finally come she sneak out for the cane piece. Then she remember that is crop time and plenty nigger would still be labouring. She head for the ratoon fields but the canes didn’t grow very high. At some parts only shadow was hiding her. Lilith try not to think of the Johnny-jumpers. A white owl hoot-hoot and fly over her and give her a start so bad that she throw herself to the ground that damp from dew. Lilith go to cry but then stop herself. She look in herself and think about the sound of the cave, that nobody can find in the day. She think about the Blue Mountain that start at the edge of the estate. She think like how Homer would think if she have Homer mind. Homer run through the wild bush in the dark like a negro who don’t need no eye. Lilith think of the dark and she think of the blindness. She think of how blind woman see.