The Color of Heaven - 09 - The Color of Time (26 page)

“Listen,” he said, “we should get together and catch up. Would you like to grab lunch sometime?”

“I’d love that,” I replied.

“Great.” There was a warmth in his eyes that relaxed and thrilled me at the same time.

“What about tomorrow?” he asked.

“That’s sounds good. I’ll be at the hospital in the morning,” I explained, “but I could meet you somewhere.”

“How about The Old Stone Keep?” he suggested. “They have great food. I go there all the time.”

“I know the place,” I said with a smile as I let him escort me into the hallway.

He walked slowly, as if he weren’t quite ready to reach the waiting room yet.

“You’re not married?” he quietly asked. “I notice you’re not wearing a ring.”

“No,” I replied, ambling along the hallway. “I’ve had a few relationships, but nothing ever worked out in the end. I guess it took me too long to get over what happened to Ethan.”

“I can understand that.”

“What about you?” I casually asked, glancing down at his ring finger as well. “Married? Kids?”

“Not yet. My cousin Jared—I’m not sure if you ever met him back in the old days… He has a whole brood, so I get to be an uncle at least. I spend a lot of time over there.”

A shiver moved through me and I was desperate to know if Jared lived in the same house I’d dreamed about.

“It’s nice to have family close by,” I replied, wishing we weren’t approaching the reception area just yet. “How are your parents? Are they still in Seattle?”

“Yes, but they visit here every summer. I just bought back our old cabin by the river. Do you remember that?”

“Of course.”

“My parents sold it when we moved,” he replied, “and they always regretted that. Now it’s ours again.”

“That’s wonderful. I’d love to see it sometime.”

We reached the reception area and I stopped and faced him.

“It’s exactly the same,” Chris said.

Suddenly I felt as if everyone was staring at us.

“Well, it was good seeing you.” Not wanting to put on a show for everyone, I moved toward the front door. “Tomorrow at 12:00?”

“I’ll be there,” he said. “Looking forward to it.”

“Me, too.”

Chris waved his next patient in, and I passed by the desk where Cassie was just finishing a call. She hung up the phone and beckoned me over.

“Don’t go yet,” she said, rising to her feet. “I spoke to Dr. Aldridge just now and she’d love for you to come in for an interview. Are you available tomorrow afternoon?”

“Yes,” I replied, feeling shaken by all these quick developments. “I’m meeting Chris for lunch but I could come in right after that.”

“Perfect,” Cassie replied. “She just had a cancellation for 2:00. Can you be here then?”

“Of course. Thank you so much, Cassie. I really appreciate it.”

“No, thank
you
,” she replied. “If things work out, you’ll be saving me a ton of work trying to find someone.” She leaned forward over the desk. “And I think you’ll love it here. It’s a great place to work and we’re all really close.”

We shared a knowing smile and I knew, without a doubt, that she and I were going to be good friends. “I’m sensing that already.”

As I stepped outside, I looked up at the clean white clouds against the blue sky and felt a deep stirring of joy. I didn’t know what tomorrow would bring, but I felt good about it and I was eager to see it all unfold.

More than anything, I was positively jubilant to be having lunch with Chris the next day. There was so very much to catch up on.

Epilogue

Summer, 2016

All my life, I’ve had trouble letting go of the past. It’s been a constant battle to try and do so. It’s taken me a long time to understand this particular inclination of mine and to learn from it.

I used to have so many questions—and perhaps the root of my problem was that I never set out to find solutions, or seek whatever new questions might be waiting for me over the horizon. Perhaps it was a fear of the unknown, for I merely remained in my place—feeling safer there, I suppose, because the pain was familiar. All I ever did was dwell upon the past and focus on my regrets and what could have been.

But somehow, this wild, magical life hurled me into a new place where I finally discovered what I was meant for. I finally learned how to look to the future with optimism and confidence.

This past February, after a six month courtship, I married the great love of my life. Chris and I spoke our wedding vows in his family parish in Cape Elizabeth, and I am pleased to report that I am expecting our first child next spring.

We work together in his dentistry practice, though I work most closely with one of his partners—a lovely woman named Sandra who has young children of her own. She is far more than just a boss to me. She is a true friend.

I am closest, of course, to Cassie, the receptionist and office manager. Our connection was immediate and she has mentioned more than once that she thinks we must have been sisters or best friends in a previous life. Soulmates, for sure.

I am touched by that, because I, too, am certain it’s true.

When I look back on my experiments with lucid dreaming, I still wonder what really happened to me. Was it just a series of vivid dreams with elements of premonition? Or did I actually leave my body through astral projection in those dreams, visit Captain Fraser’s magical sundial, and travel back through time to actually change the past?

I do know one thing for sure: Something incredible happened to me, because when it was over and I woke up in my grandmother’s home in Portland—back where I started—I knew things I shouldn’t have known, like the fine details of the crystal collection at the Fraser House Inn, or the fact that Chris had a cousin named Jared who lived on the water. When I met Jared for the first time, I recognized him from my dreams, as well as his house and his dog, Buffy.

I also asked Gram if she’d been checked for polyps lately. I took her to see her doctor, and sure enough, we discovered she needed to have some removed.

But the most extraordinary thing that convinced me there was some form of mysticism at work was the hurricane, which hit Cape Elizabeth on September 8, not long after I was reunited with Chris and Cassie. I knew, even before the meteorologists announced it, that it would make landfall at midnight, it would be a Category II storm, and the tree in Gram’s backyard would fall on her shed. That’s exactly what happened.

The sailboat, however, did not end up on the lawn of the Fraser House Inn. I have no explanation for that. Whenever I try to think about why some things are the same and others are different, my thoughts get all tangled up.

Most importantly, all that really matters is that Chris turned out to be the same wonderful man he was in my dreams, and our attraction to each other was equally intense. The one huge difference was his circumstances in the past.

In this life, he had never been married, nor did he ever have a child.

When I confided in him about my strange lucid dream experiences and asked if he’d ever dated a girl named Katelyn, he confirmed that he did take part in a TV interview while in dentistry school. It was a long time ago and he had trouble recalling the details, but he was quite certain he considered asking the reporter out for dinner. Something held him back, however. He couldn’t explain why, except that it didn’t feel right.

“Maybe I knew I was supposed to wait for
you
,” he said as he pulled me into his arms and kissed me tenderly one evening as we lay in the boat, under the stars.

Today I still wonder if I truly did travel back through time on two separate occasions, change what happened in the past, and live different lives, in alternate dimensions. I’m not sure I’ll ever know the answer, because I will never return to visit or touch the sundial again. I wouldn’t dare risk another trip into the past where I might change something, because I love my life, exactly as it is today.

I wouldn’t even go back to try and fall in love with Chris instead of Ethan that first summer, because I believe in my heart that Chris and I were not meant to be together until now, because I still had lessons to learn.

On that note, one thing I’ve learned is that nothing is ever set in stone. When things seem terrible or tragic, the future can change on a dime. Sometimes, the worst things that happen to us teach us to be stronger, and they prepare us to hunker down and weather the next crashing wave. And it’s amazing how luck can change when the wave recedes and you open your heart to the possibility of good things.

I once loved a boy named Ethan and I believed I could never live without him. I also terminated a pregnancy when I was very young. Those things left me wounded and wishing for a different life.

In my dreams I changed the past by saving Ethan from his father’s wrath that fateful night in the Foster mansion. There are still days when I wonder what might have been if I’d gone back a year earlier and kept the baby. It’s hard to say how our lives might have turned out under that scenario, but to dwell on that question is to continue obsessing about the past, when I want to live—truly
live
—in the present.

I have forgiven myself and others for what happened all those years ago. But I have not forgotten any of it, nor do I ever wish to. I am the woman I am today because of what I have been through. I am grateful for all of it—every single minute, good or bad—and I will never again lose sight of what miracles might be possible in the future.

Regret—
I am all done with you. All my energy is exactly where it should be—focused on my family and friends and the beauty of each new day. I will always be grateful for the bounty in my life, and as time marches on, I will move forward with courage and exhilaration.

Dear Reader,

Thank you for taking the time to read my latest
Color of Heaven
novel which is book nine in the series. I hope you enjoyed reading Sylvie’s story as much as I enjoyed writing it.

If this is your first time with a book in this series, I hope you’ll go back to the beginning and start with the first novel—THE COLOR OF HEAVEN. Read on for more information about that book and all the others that come after it. You may be interested in book eight, THE COLOR OF JOY, where Sylvie is first introduced. That story revolves around her older sister, Jenn. I hope you’ll check it out.

The thread that connects all the books is the theme of real life magic and how the most extraordinary and unexpected things can happen to us when we least expect it. There are many recurring characters whose stories are told from one book to the next.

On that note, are you curious about the character of Katelyn in this novel? Are you wondering what might have become of her on a different path, having never gone out on that first date with Chris? Is it possible that different life circumstances might have turned her into a different sort of person?

Her story, THE COLOR OF FOREVER, will be next. If you haven’t already signed up for my mailing list, please visit my website at
www.juliannemaclean.com
and subscribe to my newsletter so that I can let you know when the book will be available. I don’t have an exact release date yet, but I am aiming for early spring, 2016, and I wouldn’t want you to miss it.

You can also like my
Facebook page
or follow me on Twitter at
@JulianneMacLean
.

Thank you again to all of you who have written to me about this series and shared your personal stories with me. It means so much to me and I love hearing from you.

And if you enjoyed this novel, I hope you’ll consider leaving a review at your favorite online retailer to help others discover the series. If you do leave a review, please let me know so I can thank you personally. You can reach me through my website contact page.

Best wishes always,

Julianne

Questions for Discussion

1. In Chapter Twenty-two, Sylvie wakes in an alternate reality where she is living in the Foster mansion. She doesn’t seem to remember anything from her old life and this new world is normal to her. In Chapter Twenty-six, however, when she wakes in the hospital next to her grandmother’s bed, she is confused and disoriented. She remembers her old life, not the new one. Why do you think this is?

2. From Chapter Thirty-two: “We held hands the rest of the way home, and I felt an unfamiliar, almost impossible calm inside myself—like water on a windless night, reflecting the stars so perfectly that it was impossible to tell where the world ended and the universe began. I don’t believe I ever felt anything quite so tranquil before….”

What do you think is meant by this passage? Why is Sylvie feeling this way?

3. How did you feel about Chris’s decision to return to his wife and care for her after her cycling accident? Do you feel Sylvie’s response was appropriate? How else could she have handled it?

4. In the book, there are dreams and flashbacks where Sylvie remembers the past. There are also some alternate realities where she wakes up and everything in the present is different because of something she did differently in the past. Can you identify any signals in Chapters 21, 22, 26, and 48 that indicate that she might have traveled to or from another dimension?