“Yes, I would,” she said without hesitation.
“Okay, once we find the cure for Harry, we go back in time, cure him so that he doesn’t die and you can be together, but what if that results in Sara never being born? Would you give her up? What if because of that you don’t become a doctor, and all the people you have saved die instead? Would you be willing to take that risk knowing that once you do it, it can’t be undone?” he asked.
Helen frowned. “Why can’t I undo it if it turns out badly?”
“Because each time you go back in the past, the circumstances can be slightly different. It’s impossible to go back to a precise moment in time. Therefore, you can’t predict all the possible outcomes. Let’s go back even further. I didn’t want Cnoc to die. Let’s say I go back to that time. I warn the insurgents in enough time so that he escapes and I don’t get shot. The consequence is Cnoc is alive, but I don’t meet Harry. He is never exposed to the crystal, but because of that, he either lives as a cripple or takes his own life. Either way you never meet him. Who decides what the right consequences should be, me or you?”
“I think I’m beginning to see the problem,” she conceded.
Kafra added, “In the beginning when our ancestors discovered time travel, they traveled back in time to correct what they thought were mistakes. The consequences were horrendous. Whole families disappeared; medicines and inventions that made life easier were never invented. Disasters took place. They taught us as children the dangers of trying to fix something in the past. That is why no one from our planet went into the past to prevent us from stealing the crystals.”
“Mistakes are often important learning steps in our progression. Who determines what constitutes a mistake? Erik? Me? You? It’s like playing God,” said Lrence.
“You believe in God?” asked Helen.
Lrence nodded. “Yes, I do. The longer I live and the more I see, the more I believe there has to be some force, if you will, that created us, someone in control. Out of the hundreds of possibilities that exist, I believe that it’s best to allow him to select the best set of consequences. You may not like the consequences, but if you believe in a God that loves all his children, then I’d rather let him make the decisions.”
Helen stood. “You have the ability to go forward and backward in time and yet, from what you are telling me, your people don’t use it except to study other planets. Surely not everyone adheres to those rules?”
Lrence said, “They probably wouldn’t if they had a choice, but you see you can only use a portal if you have a crystal. Crystals are not available to the general public. Once the government realized the devastation that could occur, they confiscated all the crystals. From that point on, only the scientific community had access to them. They guarded them jealously. It’s a rare mineral even on our planet, so there were never very many. When the six of us left, we took all there were. It took the Watchers several years to find and prepare new crystals. It’s one of the reasons the Watchers hate us so much.”
Helen nodded. “In a way you thwarted all new scientific discoveries. As a scientist, I wouldn‘t thank you for that. You say that you hated what the Watchers were doing to this planet. Yet you used the crystals to go back in the past here. You must have changed our history just by being in those places,” Helen said.
Lrence ran a hand over his face. “Even though we tried hard not to change anything, and we stayed in the past only as long as it took to build new portals, your right. It did make a difference. Even as we interact with your people in real time today, we change what will happen just by being here. I think what you’re asking is how do we justify that. There isn’t a day goes by that I don’t ask myself the same question. Did my horror at what our people were doing and intended to do justify the changes we inflicted? Did we make the right decision? Would your people have been better off if we’d done nothing? There’s no way to know. We did what we thought was necessary to protect you.” Lrence went back to studying the test results.
Helen studied Lrence’s bowed head. She could see that while he was trying to be as honest with her as he could, this was painful for him to discuss.
Kafra’s look pleaded with Helen to drop the discussion.
She changed the subject for now.
Chapter Twenty
Sara poured sodas into two tall glasses of ice. The doorbell rang. Thinking it must be Joshua, she yelled, “Come in. The door’s open. I’m in the kitchen.” A moment later, Frank walked into the kitchen. When she saw him, Sara dropped the can of soda she had been pouring, spilling coke on the floor, and splattering the cabinet. As she bent down to pick it up she said, “I thought you were Joshua.” Her eyes narrowed. “What are you doing here?”
Grabbing a paper towel, Frank bent down to help her mop up the spill. “I’m sorry if I startled you. You did say come in,” he said smiling.
She rose and threw the can and the sodden towels into the trash under the sink. Something about Frank always made her nervous. Facing him alone in the house, gave her chills. Chiding herself for her cowardice, she turned to him and forced a smile. “Yes, of course, I’m sorry if that was rude.” Not quite able to shake the feeling completely, she added, “Joshua should be here any minute.” She meant it as a warning. Still a little frightened, she wanted him to know that they wouldn’t be alone long.
Frank held up his hands in surrender. “Relax, I get it. You and Joshua are together. I just came to apologize.” He leaned casually back against the counter.
“Apologize? For what?” she asked, still skeptical. She walked back to the sink and washed her hands, trying to put as much space as possible between them in the small kitchen.
He stayed where he was, hung his head and looked down. “Well, mostly for just being dense I guess. You were trying to tell me you weren’t interested. I just wasn’t getting it.” He looked embarrassed as he glanced up at her through dark lashes.
Sara felt bad now. Maybe she had misjudged him. After all, he hadn’t really done anything wrong. He had just been pushy, and she didn’t like being pushed. “I guess I should be the one apologizing to you. I really shouldn’t have hit you.”
He continued looking down at the floor. “I guess I deserved it, but I’d like to at least be friends if that’s all right.” He looked up at her timidly. When she nodded, he asked, “Do you mind if I have one of those?” pointing at the sodas.
“Oh, sure.” She handed him a glass.
As she turned to take another glass out of the cupboard for Joshua, Frank quickly dropped two pills into her drink. Holding his glass up and smiling he said, “Let’s toast to being friends.”
She picked up the glass he had doctored, clinked his glass, and took a drink.
When she set the glass down again,
he said carefully, “Could I ask a favor?”
Suspicious again, her eyes narrowed. “What?”
Looking embarrassed again, he stammered, “Well, you know I have been dating Lisa. And since it seems that I’m not very good with women . . .” he stopped, looking down at her as if to judge her response.
She didn’t react just stood there waiting for him to go on.
“I wondered if you would give me some advice.”
This was definitely a different Frank than the one she knew. Where was the arrogance? She felt sorry for him. He had always seemed very sure of himself. Maybe he truly really didn‘t realize how he came across. She had to concede that most of the football players she’d come in contact with weren’t known for their sensitivity. She reached out and took a drink of the soda. “I’m afraid I don’t know Lisa very well,” she said.
He shuffled his feet. “I don’t mean about Lisa in particular. She seems to like me but I don’t want to screw it up. I was wondering if you would tell me what exactly I did wrong with you. See, I don’t want to make the same mistake again.” His eyes wide, he looked at her as if he sincerely wanted her opinion. He took another sip of the soda.
Sara took another drink too, trying to marshal her thoughts. She thought he looked down in the dumps. What could she honestly say that wouldn’t hurt his feelings? “Well, mostly, you were just too pushy.”
He nodded, taking another drink. “Could you give me an example of what I did, and what I should have done?”
She took another drink as well, unconsciously mirroring him. “Well, when you told Joshua that I . . .” What had she been bout to say? Suddenly her mind had gone blank. Then scattered images and impressions bombarded her. She concentrated, trying
to hold on to just one thought. He’d asked her a question. “That I was . . . what was it that you told Joshua?” She blinked her eyes. Strange, the room looked out of focus. She squinted her eyes to look at Frank. Although his image was clear, everything around the edges of her vision blurred. “What was the question?”
“Do you feel all right?” he asked. He stayed where he was, but reached a hand out to steady her.
“I’m fine. Just a little dizzy,” she said. She stepped back, steadying herself by holding on to the kitchen counter.
“Maybe you should sit down,” he suggested. “Why don’t we go into the living room and wait for Joshua. I’d like to apologize to him too.” He stayed where he was, letting her walk in front of him to the living room. Frank picked up both glasses of soda and followed her. When she sat down in one of the chairs, he placed her soda on the table next to her. Carrying his own glass, he sat down across from her. He took a sip before continuing the conversation. A satisfied smile flitted across his face when he saw her drink again from the glass at her elbow. He sat back and crossed his legs. “You were telling me that I come across as pushy and you were going to give me an example.”
“Yes, of course.” Now that she was sitting down, she felt better, but was still having trouble concentrating. Absently she took another drink of soda, hoping the cold liquid would help clear her head. “You acted like you owned me. We hadn’t even been out on a date.” Her tongue felt thick. It seemed difficult to get the words out.
“I asked you out a number of times, but you were always busy,” he reminded her.
She mumbled. The words she’d meant to say, “That should have been your first clue,” came out garbled and indistinct. Aware she was slurring her words, she took another drink. The room whirled, a wave of dizziness made her stomach lurch. Concerned and frightened, she started to get up. The world tilted sideways. She sat back down.
Frank set down his glass, got up, and went over to her. Looking down at her he asked, “Are you sure you are feeling all right?”
She passed a hand over her face. “No, what did you do to me?”
“I didn’t do anything,” he said innocently. “But you don’t look well. Maybe you’re coming down with something.” He reached out a hand and laid it on her forehead. When she didn’t recoil, he accidentally knocked her glass out of her hand, spilling the contents on the floor. “Oh, I’m so sorry. Let me get something to mop that up.” He picked up her glass and retrieved his on the way to the kitchen. While there, he replaced the glass she had taken down for Joshua in the cupboard, rinsed out both the other glasses, and placed them in the dishwasher. Grabbing a paper towel, he walked back into the living room and began soaking up the spilt drink.
Sara just sat there looking dazed, her pupils wide and unfocused.
When she didn’t say anything, or make any move to help, he decided it was time to leave. “Maybe we should get you some fresh air,” he suggested.
At the sound of his voice, she shook her head. “Yes, fresh air.” She thought that sounded good, something to clear her head. Suddenly the air in the living room seemed hot and stuffy.
Frank reached out a hand. “Let me help you up.”
She put her hand in his and let him help her up. The room tilted again. She felt Frank put his arm around her waist to steady her. She wanted to pull away, but her knees went weak. With no other choice, she leaned against him to steady herself. She let him walk her to the front door and outside.
Once outside, he reached behind him, locked the front door, and pulled it close.
The click of the lock triggered her unease. There was something important she needed to remember, but she couldn’t think what it was. Joshua was coming. That was it. She turned to Frank. She meant to say, “Where’s Joshua? He should be here by now,” but she knew the words came out all muddled.
Frank seemed to understand anyway. “You’re right he should be here by now. I think we should go look for him,” he suggested.
She nodded. He opened his car door and somehow slipped her inside. She leaned her head against the cold glass window wondering where they were going while slipping in and out of consciousness.
Frank started the car and drove away smiling.
***
Joshua was running later than he had planned. He’d been washing his car when Sara called. He finished up and then took a shower. Dressing he looked at his watch and realized that it had taken him longer than he had anticipated. He stopped in and told his grandfather that he was going to Sara’s house.
Joseph sat in the living room reading a book. He didn’t look up, just nodded.
Arriving at Sara’s, Joshua knocked on the door. When there was no answer, he knocked again and then listened. He couldn’t hear anyone inside.
That’s odd, she should be here by now, he thought. He reached into his pocket, pulled out his phone, and called her cell phone. He could hear it ringing inside, but there was no answer. He tried the door—locked. Maybe she ran to the store. He walked along the side of the house and looked into the garage window. The car was still parked inside. Where could she be? He looked up and down the street. Why wasn’t she here waiting for him as they planned? Now he was getting worried. He remembered the danger that Lrence had talked about. Lrence said he would warn them if Erik showed up. What if Erik had kidnapped Sara to get to him? He had to call Lrence. He was just flipping his phone open again when it rang. It was Nathan.