The Cutting Room Floor (19 page)

Once we all sit down to eat, Homer gives his toast.

“Never have I been so proud of a group of kids.” He clears his throat. “All the films were so well done. So impressive. And in fact, I have an announcement.”

The guys give him a verbal drum roll.

“I got a call after the screening. Seems we had some students from the Guthrie program in attendance.”

Riley perks up at this announcement.

“They were blown away,” Homer continues. “So, Guthrie’s decided to send some scouts to the festival next weekend to hold auditions.”

“Oh my God,” Riley says. She’s in a semi-daze. “Guthrie, Dez. Oh. My. God. I’ll get to audition before my artistic review. Do you know what that extra face time means? I won’t just be a number. Plus, they’ll see our film. I’ll be a triple threat.”

Of course I’m not joining in the enthusiasm. I want Riley with me. In New York.

“That’s awesome, Rye,” I say, faking it.

Right, fucking awesome …

After the excitement of Homer’s announcement wears off, the DJ starts kicking out some dance music. In no time, everyone is out on the floor.

Everyone but me and Riley.

When the music slows, I grab her hand.

She hesitates.

“It’s a dance, Rye. Come on, you need a distraction. It’s been quite a night.”

“Okay.” She relaxes, falling into my arms like she belongs there.

We sway to the music but before I can enjoy it, I see Emma reappear. I turn Riley away and pull her a little closer.

“God, this may be the first time I’ve ever had a real boy-girl dance.” She giggles in my ear.

“Nope, remember sixth grade graduation?” I rest my cheek on her head. Her hair smells fruity and is smooth on my skin. “One of the best nights of my life.”

She looks up to me. “You want to get out of here?”

“Thought you’d never ask. Should we walk back?”

She nods, and that’s the only sign I need.

I grab our coats while Riley says goodbye to her parents. She points over at me and they look. As I give them a hearty wave, I feel a little tap on my shoulder.

I turn around to see a smiling blonde.

“Hello, Desmond Brandt,” she says.

My mind goes blank.

Jonah steps around her, with the Spice Girl attached to his side. “Remember Ginger and Nicole?” He gestures with his head.

“Oh, yeah.” I muster up interest for my friend’s sake, thinking only of getting out the door. “Nice to see you again.”

I stay in motion, working my way around the threesome.

“Hey, wait,” Jonah says, blocking my escape. “We were thinking about getting out of here. Wanna come over and watch movies or something?”

“No.” I answer a little too quickly and see the smiling faces around me deflate. “I mean, I need to take Riley home.”

“Her parents are right there.” Jonah points to the Frosts.

“I know, but they’re going out.” I come up with an excuse on the fly—something I’ve become particularly good at. “I already promised them I’d get Rye home.”

“Okay, then, drop her off and come over,” Jonah says.

“I can’t,” I tell him, really on the move now. “Sorry, rain check,” I shout.

“Hey, great film, by the way!” Nicole shouts back. At least I think she does. It’s hard to say because I’m almost to the door.

I laugh, because the old me would never have missed out on an opportunity for an easy hook-up. Something to help take my mind off the secret, psycho crush I had on Riley. A crush nobody knew about, not even Jonah—at least not until a few weeks ago, when Riley brought up Allie and asked why I didn’t go on my date. Jonah knew enough not to ask questions at the time. He gets the bro code. But afterwards, I had to come clean to him.

FLASHBACK SEQUENCE
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY—AFTERNOON

JONAH
So, who’s this Allie character that Riley seems to know so much about, Dez? You holding out on me? That’s B.S., dude.

DEZ
No, Christ. I’m not holding out on you. There’s no Allie.

JONAH
What the hell was Riley talking
about then?

DEZ
I lied.

JONAH
(scrunches up his face)
What? Why?

DEZ
I don’t know, it just came out one day. She was going on and on about Emma and I felt like a loser, so I made someone up.

JONAH
That makes no sense. Why would you … oh, oh no. You don’t.

DEZ
Don’t what?

JONAH
Come on, you have a thing for her? For Riley? But she likes girls.

DEZ
Not anymore.

JONAH
Well, she did, Dez. This is worse than something I’d get mixed up in. You’ve got it bad for a gay chick (bi if you’re lucky) who also happens to be your next-door neighbor. That’s messed up.

DEZ
Yeah, tell me about it.

JONAH
Well, it’s not going to work, bud. Even the great and powerful Desmond can’t fix this one. Dude, you could have any girl in this school. Whenever we go out, girls throw themselves at you, it’s sick.

DEZ
I can’t help how I feel, Jonah. Do you think I want to feel this way? About her? I don’t, trust me on that.

JONAH
You better find some way to get over it, Dez. This is a disaster waiting to happen.

END FLASHBACK

Well, that disaster hasn’t happened. But ever since I came clean with Jonah, I’ve had to deal with his looks and snide comments and now this—Nicole showing up out of the blue. That’s definitely Jonah’s handiwork.

Thankfully, I no longer need the distraction.

I practically run out the door with Riley, thinking I actually might be able to do the impossible.

RILEY

While Dez gathers our coats, I make my rounds and say my goodbyes. My parents smother me with hugs and more exclamations of “good job” and “way to go.” It’d be annoying if it wasn’t so genuine. Sometimes I feel bad that no one else gets to know the joy of my parents. Really. They were meant to have, like, ten kids. When Mom hugs me one last time, I hug her back.

I head to the front to find Dez but Libby finds
me
first.

“Stellar performance in the film, Rye,” she says.

“Hey, thanks,” I say, with a chill that I can’t help. I still can’t believe the secret she’s keeping from me. “I’m glad you made it.” I try to warm up to her. She is, after all, one of my best friends.

“I’d never miss it,” she says, looking hurt. “You’d know that if you stopped ditching me.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” I tell her, and I really mean it. “It’s just been so busy with the film and everything else. It’s been pretty sucky lately. It hurts just being back here.”

“About that.” She moves closer to me, lowering her voice. “I know you don’t like to talk about it, but I think there was more to it than you think.”

“More to what?” I can almost see the wheels turning in her head.

“Your breakup with Emma.” Libby puts both hands on my arms, holding me there to listen. “I think you need to ask Dez about it.” She tightens her lips. “I see him talking to Emma all the time. Has he told you that?”

“Well, no, it hasn’t come up,” I say, feeling a fight brewing below the surface. “They have Trig together, you know. I’m sure that’s why you’ve seen them together.”

“I don’t think so.” Libby shakes her head. “They’ve looked pretty intense when I’ve seen them in the halls, and I watched them have a similar mini-blowout tonight.”

“Emma’s here tonight?” I was worried about running into her this whole time. Thankfully I didn’t even catch a glimpse.

“Yeah, she’s here, but I think she’s mostly been in the back. You should really ask Dez about it.”

“Libby, that’s ridiculous. No, I’m not going to ask him anything. I don’t even know what you’re saying. That they’re together or that they conspired in the breakup? Whatever it is, I don’t really care. I’m trying to get over it. Why can’t you let me?”

“I want you to get over it, but I also want you to know the truth.”

“I think the truth is that you’re just freaked out that I’m changing and that I might have a genuine interest in boys. I feel like you want to put me in a box that you understand. And at this point, I think you’d say almost anything to get me to reconsider.”

“That’s not it,” she says, shaking her head.

“Well, I shouldn’t have to remind you that it wasn’t Dez that got in the way with me and Emma. Maybe it was Marcus. I hear they’re a hot item.”

“I don’t think so, Rye.” She shakes her head, and I walk away.

As I leave, I try not to let Libby’s words get to me. That’s what she wants. To get in my head. To make me do what she wants: suspect Dez. That was her defense with Reed, too. After he dumped me the summer after sophomore year, Libby said, “I think Dez said something to him.” What she forgot to mention was the date she went on with Reed after we broke up. To this day, she still denies it.

I know she cares about me but I think she’s more comfortable if I stay in my place as her funny little lesbian sidekick.

Sorry, Lib.

I’m not going to do it.

Not this time.

Dez waits for me by the door, holding out my coat.

I slip my arms inside and move forward with
him
, leaving the rest behind.

DEZ

EXT. THE HEIGHTS—NIGHT

DESMOND and RILEY walk home in silence, stealing looks at each other. They both look nervous.

DESMOND reaches out for RILEY’S hand. The moon is full and lights the way to the Brandts’ small backyard. They sit on an old wooden swing. It makes a creaking noise and they laugh. They sway back and forth. DESMOND’S feet are planted firmly on the ground while RILEY’S dangle.

“Do you want another drink?” I ask, trying to find something to break the ice. Mom and Bernie decided to go out on the town after the screening, so we have full access to the bar … or whatever else we want.

“No, I’m champagned out,” Riley says. “Why? Do you?”

“No,” I say, feeling my palms sweat. I thought this would be the time to make my move, sure that this is what she wants. Now I really have no idea. “How ’bout a movie?”

I don’t wait for an answer. I stand up, grab her hand, and head for the house. “Let’s see what’s on.”

“This is perfect,” she says once we’re inside. She finds her favorite spot on the couch and nestles in.

I flip through the channels and find
Stand by Me.

Of course, the book it’s based on,
The Body
, is better than the movie, but it’s hard to compete with Stephen King
.
That sick bastard really knows how to tell a story.

I sit next to Riley, pull her legs across my lap, and rub her feet. But she gives me the look, the one that could change the whole night.

“What? You don’t like the massage?”

“No. I mean, yes,” she says, all flustered. “Dez, don’t you think we should talk about what’s going on here?”

“What do you think is going on?” I ask. At least I know I’m not crazy. She feels it, too.

“The kiss tonight, the dance, this?” She flicks out her arm toward her legs on my lap.

“Do you not want
this
?”
I tickle her feet.

Riley giggles and pulls her legs in, sitting up.

“I just want to be sure,” she says, getting all serious. “We both know what
this
means. I think we should talk about it.”

“I don’t,” I blurt out. “Let’s
not
talk for once. Let’s just do what we want and not think about it. Not tonight.”

She sinks deeper into the couch and I go back to her feet.

“Okay, Dez,” she says, closing her eyes. “The massage does feel amazing. I guess we can try it your way.”

My pulse speeds up; I hope she can’t feel it in my hands. After all this time, it seems too easy. I have a green light to be with the girl I’ve been dreaming about for years, and suddenly I have cold feet.