“What is it?” Phenex asked, ignoring the other Fallen. He had a strange, unsettled
feeling deep in his gut that normally preceded bad things. Trouble. He always sensed
it coming.
Uriel pinned him with his gaze. “Amphora’s barriers are being breached, one by one.
It is no longer secure, so neither is Terra Noctem. Belial is lazy but clever. He’s
turned vampires in positions of authority to help him, lured them to his side with
promises. Soon, very soon, the city will be overrun.”
“How can it be?” Levi asked. “There are plenty of protective wards in place. The horde
of lesser demons will be incinerated if they try to attack. Let them come. We’ll root
out the traitors.”
“The traitors are the easy part.” Uriel shook his head. “Do you know how long Hell
has been trying to find ways past those wards? Even centuries ago, in the days the
lords of Hell were welcomed into Terra Noctem, they searched. Obviously, you lot were
too occupied with your…pursuits…to notice.”
“I liked my pursuits,” Gadreel muttered.
“We had hoped that this was just another diversion for one of your bored former brethren,
an outlet for Belial to try to take a little revenge for Terra Noctem’s harboring
you seven. We thought it would take time for them to regroup after all that happened
last year, when Raum killed Mammon and prevented the hordes from flooding into earth.
But they’ve bounced back quickly, and Belial acts on Lucifer’s orders. They mean to
destroy the vampire city. If the hordes overrun Terra Noctem, they’ll kill or enslave
everyone in it. The loss of the night races will tip the Balance even further into
darkness. The chaos would be unimaginable.”
“The demons will sense it when the spell is cast to relocate the city,” Levi said.
“It was never a problem when Hell didn’t see Justin as an enemy, but now…they’re probably
prepared to come running the second the movement begins. And the shift isn’t instant,
from what I remember. It takes time. Half an hour? An hour? Something like that. Too
long, if the demons think they can break through and stop it.”
Phenex shook his head, understanding why Uriel had put this to the Fallen first, even
before Justin. “They’re getting ready to attack, right? This is imminent. This is
now.”
“This weekend,” Uriel said. “Friday, most likely. The busiest night of the week, of
course. Belial leads the charge, and he’ll take as many humans as he can, just because.”
His piercing gaze settled on Phenex and seemed to arrow right through him, seeing
into places that were best kept hidden. “You, especially, Phenex, should be careful.
Don’t underestimate his rage at you. It has burned slow but fiercely.”
He felt his brothers’ eyes on him and fought the urge to hunch his shoulders. All
of them knew what he had done, the moment of compassion that had sealed his fate.
He didn’t want to know what they thought of it. He didn’t want to speak of it ever
again, actually.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Phenex said.
Uriel’s gaze lingered a moment longer, then moved on. “It’s Tuesday, and I expect
the preparations to take time, so we must move quickly. Justin will be furious, but
I’ll speak with him. He’ll see reason. Twenty years in one place, with the world as
it is, is about all you could expect. There will be losses, but Amphora is lost already.
Better to move on. Moving will allow time for the magic-wielders to create new wards,
new safeguards. There’s no choice.”
“And we hold Hell at bay, again, while the vamps disappear and the angels sit around
with their thumbs up their asses,” Murmur said. “Seems fair.”
Uriel looked at him sharply. “This falls under the blood oath you took when Justin
agreed to let you all back in. Protect the city. In doing so you protect the Balance.
You, Murmur, should have no trouble rooting out the traitors from the club. Be glad
you still have a use.”
Murmur glared at Uriel as the others began to mutter softly to one another. Phenex
was silent as the full implications of this move began to sink in. They would be leaving
DC. And Sofia’s life was here. As long as Belial could be defeated, there would be
no reason for Phenex to hang around here. He wouldn’t be
able
to hang around here. His base of operations would have gone…elsewhere.
She would have to come. That was all there was to it. He’d wanted to acclimate her,
get her used to Terra Noctem, befriend some vampires. Learn to forget the sun. This
pushed things along more quickly than he would have liked, but there was nothing he
could do. He just needed to figure out how to make his case, what to offer. Everyone
wanted something. Even Sofia Rivera.
Slowly, he tuned back in to what Uriel was saying.
“I’ll speak to Justin privately about his role in what will happen. As for the rest
of you, I’ve brought you this.” He waved his hand, and where there had once been nothing
was now a heavy old chest, battered but solid, sitting atop the conference table.
“These will make it easier for you. There are some who were reluctant to vote to let
you have them, but I assured them you could handle it. Prove me wrong, and I’ll use
them on
you
.”
Meresin finally smiled, his somber face lighting up with pleasure. “Fire swords,”
he said in his raspy voice.
“Fire swords,” Uriel confirmed. “The most effective weapon against any high demon…or
angel. Don’t make me regret giving these to you.”
Phenex moved to unlatch the top, opening it to take a brief look inside. Sure enough,
there were seven swords, long and thin, forged of some black metal never seen on earth.
Even now, untouched by Fallen hands, smoke coiled from them. In a demon’s hand, they
would immediately be aflame. He gave a curt nod and shut the lid.
“We can use these.” He paused, then grudgingly added, “Thanks, Uriel.”
“Thank me by living through this. It promises to be bloody. And no doubt Belial will
have fire of his own.” He looked at them, the motley crew of Fallen beholden to him,
and seemed to soften despite the glares on many of their faces.
“I never thought I’d say this, but you do good work. You’ve surprised us. We—all of
us—do not want to lose you.”
“Just keep paying us, then, and we’re yours forever,” Gadreel interjected, and even
Uriel managed a smile.
“I go to Justin at sundown. Make your plans. I’ll see you all afterward, wherever
the city sees fit to move itself.”
They all rose from their seats, Levi and Caim moving to take the ends of the chest,
Raum pausing to have a private word with Uriel before he left. Once, Uriel had been
Raum’s mentor. It was a bond that had been reforged with the changing of Raum’s wings,
and Phenex had a suspicion that Raum now only stayed here with them by choice. Heaven
would have him back, but something—his love for Ember, most likely, though maybe some
sense of loyalty as well—kept him here.
Phenex realized he was glad he’d stayed, that he would feel the loss of Raum.
He frowned as he realized that was new, that…
affection
. That concern. He looked at all of them, startled to find that he didn’t want to
lose any of his brothers. Even Gadreel, which was nothing short of astounding.
They vanished one by one, off to find things to do by daylight, or to return to Terra
Noctem by way of the outer entrance, tucked beneath an innocuous house in the suburbs.
None would risk the Amphora entrance again. Not now that they needed to stand together
and become the underground city’s main defense. They couldn’t risk being picked off.
Phenex lingered, lost in thought, until Uriel’s voice pulled him out of it.
“You have more on your mind than the rest.”
Phenex blinked, looked around. The room was empty except for him and the archangel.
Uriel was watching him closely, and Phenex realized that this was the first time he’d
been alone with Uriel since he’d left Hell. The hair at the back of his neck prickled,
a warning left over from years of thinking of the archangels as the enemy, all those
years Phenex had spent fighting Heaven. He still wasn’t at all sure about it.
“Lay off, Uriel,” he said. “I was just thinking about something I need to do later.”
“So I gather.” Uriel tilted his head, arching one golden brow. “You won’t mention
the reason I chose this place for our meeting. I knew you wouldn’t leave her.”
Of course he’d known. Phenex had just hoped the archangel was polite enough not to
mention it. No such luck, of course. Phenex shifted his weight from one foot to the
other, crossed his arms over his chest, and glowered at him.
“You only know what you want to see. You don’t know shit.”
One corner of Uriel’s mouth curved, and he looked unbearably smug. “I know more than
you think. I’ve watched this before. Recently. Fascinating, I think, that after all
these years of you and your ilk using Earth as a destructive child uses a plaything,
its women seem to be the only ones able to unlock your—”
“Don’t. Hellfire, Uriel, I haven’t even eaten lunch yet,” Phenex interjected. “I like
Sofia. She’s…” He trailed off, then shook his head. “No. No, I’m not doing this. You’re
not going to mess with my head.”
“I’m not trying to. And you’re awfully touchy. You didn’t used to be.”
Phenex gave him a baleful look. “You do remember that I was a lord of Hell, right?”
Uriel exhaled loudly. “You make it hard to forget. Do you still play, Phenex?”
“Sure. All the time.”
“I’m glad. You and your music…you were never replaced.” The words hit him like a fist,
threatening to pull him back into a turmoil he had left far, far behind. He was struggling
to lock it away as Uriel continued. “I hope you still compose?”
Phenex breathed in deeply, centering himself, and frowned. This, at least, was a concrete
question. He hadn’t been composing. Except all of a sudden, he had. Sofia had no idea
how often he’d slipped out of bed this past week to work, scribbling notes furiously
onto paper. Whatever parts of him had closed off when he’d fallen were opening up
again. He didn’t understand, except to know that it was all to do with Sofia’s presence.
He had to keep her. Had to. The drive to find some way to stop her from leaving him
was almost frantic. He needed what she gave him. The thought of going dead inside
again filled him with a horror unlike any he’d known since he’d first looked across
the barren landscape of Hell itself and realized that this was his kingdom.
“I do compose a little, yeah,” Phenex finally said, figuring Uriel would know if he
was lying anyway. The archangel smiled, and to Phenex’s irritation, it seemed perfectly
sincere.
“Well, that’s something I’d like to hear again, one day.”
“Hmm.” Phenex looked away, frustrated and off-balance, and angry at himself for letting
Uriel get to him. The guy had ulterior motives. He always did. Angels were sneaky
bastards, just as much as their dark brethren.
“I gotta go. I need to go check on, ah…”
Damn it. Way to dissuade Uriel from his redemptive daydreams.
“Go ahead,” Uriel said. “I understand the need to protect, even if I understand little
else about you anymore.”
Phenex slid him a suspicious, sidelong glance on his way out. “Okay.”
He’d nearly made it out the door when Uriel’s voice carried to him, making him tense
as though someone had taken a swing at him.
“She’s not a bird to be kept in a cage, Phenex. You, of all people, should understand
that.”
He did. And he hated Uriel for making him remember that he ought to. For bringing
the question to his lips that he’d sworn he wouldn’t ask.
“How is she? Celestine?”
Phenex would never forget the discovery of her, on a night he’d played at a wild and
debauched party of Belial’s. Even then, his own restlessness and dissatisfaction had
been eating at him. He’d wandered off, ignoring the bacchanal, the orgies, pulled
by some force he couldn’t quite put his finger on down into the lower levels of the
Prince of Sloth’s manor.
Only to find a battered and broken angel in a cage. A rare female angel, radiant even
in her torment. However Belial had caught her, it was clear he’d been making use of
her. It was a depravity that had stunned even Phenex. This was not done. No demon
was ever kept in Heaven, no angel in Hell. It was an agreement so old it never even
needed to be spoken. It was simply understood.
Phenex was still haunted by the way she had looked at him. “Release me, demon. Give
me death. I beg you. I beg you.”
She had longed for soulless death over what Belial was doing to her. And in that moment,
Phenex realized that something deep within him had changed. He could not do as she
asked and simply kill her. And he could not walk away.
It was…
wrong
.
When he looked at Uriel, the archangel’s gaze had softened. “Celestine is greatly
healed. Again and again, she sends her thanks. And she wonders, as do I, why you are
still here. You’re not like the others, Phenex. You never were. Only guilty of feeling
too much, not too little. The door remains open…you can come home.”
He’d known Uriel would say it, known the words would bring only confusion and pain.
How could he go back? He didn’t belong just because he had rediscovered his conscience.
He didn’t belong anywhere anymore.
And where is my home supposed to be?
he wanted to ask.
I’m not what I was. Not even now.
But when Phenex spun around, the furious question on his lips, Uriel was gone.
Chapter Nineteen
He waited for her, as he always did, at the ER entrance.
Sofia would start to walk out, and all of a sudden, Phenex would just be there, appearing
out of nowhere and falling into step beside her as though it was the most natural
thing in the world. He was what she looked forward to when she was bone-tired, when
she was ready to leave the insanity and go somewhere quiet.
She kept thinking she’d gotten dependent on his being there too fast, that she liked
it too much. One of the earliest things he’d said to her,
no strings
, was played on a loop somewhere at the back of her mind. But she couldn’t seem to
stop herself, sort of like having sex with him. Amazing, crazy, mind-bending sex.
She was even starting to wish he would bite her, though he’d been as good as his word
on that. No fangs.
That was another bad decision waiting to happen. Her opinion hadn’t changed on the
whole vampire thing, despite the fact that the ones she now knew were very nice. But
the thought of having him inside her, and at the same time having his teeth in her…
“How was your day?” Phenex asked, oblivious to the nurses ogling him as they left.
A couple of Sofia’s friends flashed her the thumbs-up. She grinned, then ducked her
head so Phenex couldn’t see. The man had a big enough ego.
“Fine. Busy shift,” she said.
“Noticed that,” Phenex replied, then proceeded to do something very odd. He whipped
his head to the left, grabbed something that was either imaginary or invisible, and
punched air with his other hand. It was over in a heartbeat, and then he was walking
calmly along again, though looking a lot more smug.
“Do I want to know?”
“It’s just hospitals and their hangers-on. Grumpy old bastard needs to move along.
He’s probably been dead for a good week. He wasn’t expecting that one, though. Landed
right on his ass.”
“I was right. I don’t want to know,” Sofia said.
The routine was always the same. They’d walk together to the parking lot, look for
a place without cameras and with a good amount of shadow. Then Sofia would wrap her
arms around his neck, giving him what would look to the casual observer like a hug—until
Phenex unfurled his wings and launched them into the sky.
It was cool. But she wished it were cool enough to erase her longing for her car,
her apartment, her
life
…but it wasn’t. She’d spent her break on the phone with Amy, who’d just gotten back
into town. She wanted to go for coffee. She wanted to
see
her, damn it. Being underground was slowly making her want to crawl out of her skin,
and Phenex didn’t seem to see. Or maybe he just didn’t want to.
Either way, something had to give. She’d heard nothing about Belial, or more demons,
or anything. Just silence.
It was infuriating.
They walked in silence while Sofia struggled to work up the nerve to ask Phenex something
she’d been mulling for a couple of days now.
There was no time like the present, she told herself. So she took a deep breath, crossed
her fingers, and dove in.
“So I was thinking,” she said. “I’ve got the next couple of days off.”
He smirked. “I know. I have plans. But go ahead.”
“Oh. Um…yeah,” Sofia said, delighted and flattered and more than a little bit nervous
about these “plans.” If they involved staying in Terra Noctem, she thought she might
just go out of her mind. Every moment spent in bed with Phenex was bliss. But when
they were out together, with the staring, and the dampness, and the creepy lip-licking
from some of the vamps… She was sure some things would be different if she were a
vampire, but she wasn’t. Dru was great, but she wasn’t
human
. Even the werewolves never stayed long underground, different packs coming and going,
but always, always leaving before long to get back to their open spaces. To their
own kind.
Sofia shuddered, then tried to get back on track.
“The next couple of days. So the thing is, my parents have been wondering where I
am.”
“Why? You call them. I know you do,” Phenex said, looking puzzled. “What more could
they want?”
Sofia fought back a grimace. This was exactly the sort of reaction she’d been worried
about. But there was nothing to do but press on.
“They’d like to see me, actually.” She sighed at his blank stare and had to bite back
her annoyance. “I’m their only daughter, Phenex. We’re close, and they like to see
me. Which they do, normally. It’s not all that far from here to Baltimore, and I thought—”
“Sofia.” The look on his face was something like a deer caught in headlights. Determined,
she pressed on.
“I thought that maybe we could go for dinner one night. My mother makes amazing
tamales de mole negro
. She’d definitely make them if I asked. I’d like them to meet you, Phenex.”
Even in the dark, he looked paler than usual. “For the love of burning,
why
?”
She stopped, turned, and looked at him. How could he be so amazing about some things
and so god-awful about others?
“Well, let me see. I think I’ve met pretty much everyone in your life. I’m staying
in a giant cave city full of vampires, I have dinner with the fallen angels you work
with, and last but not least, we’re sleeping together. I’m basically marinating in
your life, Phenex. But don’t you ever think about the fact that I have one, too?”
Sofia asked. Then she threw up her hands in frustration before he could answer. “No,
of course you don’t. You’ve got everything you want, right? Why worry?”
She needed to accept that this was probably all there was with Phenex. Everything
but the sex felt like they were only scratching the surface with each other. In bed
he was tender, wild, sweet…he let his guard down. Outside of that, he only let her
in so far. All she got were glimpses. That, and the sounds of him composing late at
night when he thought she was asleep. That music made her ache in ways she hadn’t
thought possible. It was pure emotion.
But if those emotions were his, he wasn’t sharing them with her.
“You’re angry.”
“Yes, Phenex, you make me angry. You’re very good at it. Probably because you’re,
you know, from Hell.” She rubbed her face with her hands. “What am I doing?”
“Telling me off, I think,” Phenex said, then sighed. She felt his gentle grip on her
wrists, and he pulled her hands away from her face. It wasn’t fair of him to look
tired and vulnerable, Sofia thought. That was supposed to be her domain. If he needed
some kind of reassurance, she was in no mood to give it.
“I’m not trying to be a dick. You just surprised me.”
“Yeah, well, your reaction didn’t really surprise me.” She exhaled loudly, looked
up at a sky dotted with stars she wished she could see through the city’s glow, and
tried to regain her footing.
“Look, I get it. You don’t have parents. You don’t have friends. You don’t like anybody.”
“I like you.”
He was trying to diffuse this, but she was having none of it.
“Yay. That doesn’t change the fact that I need to go see my parents. And this isn’t
want, this is need. I am a human person who loves her parents, and this is nonnegotiable.
So consider this notice. I’ll see if Ember will go with me tomorrow. She can go out
in the sun, she’s really badass, and it saves you the horror of meeting anyone related
to me. Okay? Okay. Back to the Batcave. This is a good spot, right? Let’s just…go.”
It was the first time she really hadn’t wanted to put her arms around him, but she’d
get over it. That was the awful thing. Despite all of his issues, Phenex was impossible
not to care about. He had no family, a lot of his friends were what could only be
called difficult people, and he was minus a soul. Despite all that, he carried music
around inside himself that was heart-wrenching, and he liked to snuggle. A lot.
He made no sense. She just…wanted him to. Just like she wanted him to engage in some
kind of life that wasn’t deep underground.
Her
life. She felt more and more like those stupid flowers he was still trying to make
grow down there. He’d planted some new ones just a couple of days ago. She felt sorry
for them.
Not everything was made to thrive in the darkness.
“I need to tell you something,” he said.
Sofia looked up, startled, both at the words and the odd tone in his voice. This was
it, she realized. This was the part where he told her, “Hey, it’s been real, but things
are getting a little too much like serious, and by the way, Gadreel will be watching
you from now on. Have fun defending yourself against the slither.”
At which point, she would probably inform him that she’d be taking her chances on
the surface, thanks very much. Nice vampires notwithstanding, removing Phenex from
her situation changed everything.
She couldn’t keep doing this.
It was only the thought of something terrible happening that had kept her from trying
to slink off to her parents’ for a visit already. She missed people. Her people.
The hell of it was, she was also going to miss Phenex when all this was over. Not
his odd life, but him, even with all his quirks and frustrations. He would go, and
she would probably spend the rest of her life wanting him to come back. It didn’t
have to be all on her terms, but she had a right to
have
terms.
Not that he’d ever expressed any interest in what those might be.
Her heart sank, and she tried to brace herself. The weird tickle in the back of her
throat indicated she wouldn’t be so stoic later, but she needed to focus on the now.
“What is it?” she asked.
Phenex looked at her with eyes she could fall into, as though he was working up the
nerve to say it. Then he shook his head.
“You’re pale,” he said.
“No shit,” Sofia replied. “A week in the dark will do that. Do you have any more compliments
to give me?”
“No, I just…” He blew out a breath and rubbed at the back of his neck. “I don’t know.
I didn’t notice before. Are you feeling okay?”
Sofia didn’t bother to dignify that with an answer, instead fixing him with a look
that was as much reply as a question like that deserved. She’d seen the smudges under
her eyes in the mirror earlier. Her energy level was in the gutter. She doubted it
was hard to see, at least for someone who was paying attention.
And he had been. That, at least, was something.
“No, I know you don’t,” Phenex said quickly, sounding annoyed. His look said it wasn’t
with her, though. He glanced away. “I can’t take you to Baltimore right now, Sofia.
I just…I can’t. But I can give you something I should have a few days ago.”
Sofia couldn’t allow herself to get her hopes up. She put up a hand. “If it’s in Terra
Noctem, I’d rather not, thanks. I’m tired. I’m just
tired
, Phenex.”
The feel of his hands sliding around her waist surprised her. She didn’t know how
she felt about it. Her body sang the way it always did. Her heart, however, didn’t
seem to want to do anything but ache. Whatever this was, it couldn’t be what she needed.
“Hang on to me.”
“Phenex,” Sofia began wearily.
“Just trust me. Please,” he added, surprising her. The earnestness in his voice, along
with the look in his eyes, made it impossible to push him away. Even though she knew
she probably should.
Just this time,
Sofia told herself.
Just this one more time. And maybe this time when you wind up disappointed, you’ll
quit trying to make him something he can’t be and start accepting reality. Or whatever
this is.
With a heavy sigh, she wrapped her arms around Phenex, he picked up her legs, and
an instant later they were airborne. He pressed his mouth against her ear to be heard
above the wind.
“This is a longer flight, okay? We’re not going back to the city tonight. Just relax.
Well, try.”
“Try” was about as good as it got with the wind whipping at his top speeds. Resigned,
she just tucked her head into his neck, breathed in the scent that was singularly
him, and hoped that wherever they were going, it was a place that might give her back
a little bit of hope.
He cheated, singing in her ear and lulling her to sleep, so Sofia had no idea how
long the flight actually took. She knew that with her in his arms he couldn’t travel
quite as fast as he’d like, but he also went faster than he probably should with a
human passenger.
Regardless, Sofia opened her eyes to the rhythmic sound of ocean waves and the feel
of Phenex’s lips on her skin. Light, butterfly-soft kisses over her cheeks, her nose,
her mouth. Her lips curved before she could start to worry all over again. Her eyes
opened.
“We’re here,” he said.
She rose slowly up on her elbows, finding herself in what looked like a large hotel
suite. There was a huge Jacuzzi tub in one corner, an impressive minibar, a sitting
area…and to the left of the bed, doors that opened out onto a balcony overlooking
the moonlit sea.
The moon and stars were such a welcome sight that she wished she could run and wrap
her arms around them. As it was, she breathed in the night air, fresh and scented
with flowers and plants she couldn’t quite identify, and felt the welcome buzz of
life rippling through her. She’d needed this. It wasn’t home, but…in a way it was,
just by being out in the air. God, she’d needed this.
“Wow,” she finally said. “So where is here, exactly?”
He grinned, looking pleased with himself. It was so innocent, so boyish, that Sofia
couldn’t help but return it. It seemed he’d been paying more attention to her needs
than she’d thought. He just hadn’t been letting on…and she didn’t want to imagine
why. Didn’t want to spoil this.
Right now, it was perfect.
“Mirage, Florida. This is the town where Justin and Vivi got together. I liked it,”
Phenex said.
Sofia looked around, unable to get past her amazement that she was really here, overlooking
the ocean. “I can see why.” She’d heard the story about Vivi and Justin, the vampire
hunter falling for the vampire king in a little beach town in Florida. And she knew
Phenex had been around to bust some vampire-hunter heads when they’d tried to interfere.
But this wasn’t anything she’d expected from the words “I need to tell you something.”