The Destroyer Book 4 (7 page)

Her claws were suddenly at my throat again, lifting me and the chair up against the chains. I hadn’t even seen her move. It was impossible. The O’Baarni moved exponentially quicker than Elvens, who were much faster than normal humans. But I had never witnessed such speed.

“I asked: ‘Isn’t it wonderful, Kaiyer?’” she hissed with disappointment.

“Yes!” I wanted to say no. I wanted to scream it and break the chains from my hands, pull out her sword, and end the misery I had caused her. But my mouth made the sounds before any of that could happen.

“Good. I am so glad you agree with me. It took me much longer to convince our friends here of my way of thinking.” She giggled and another chill ran down my spine.

“There is just one problem, my love.” Shlara circled around the chair behind me and traced the fingers of her clawed gauntlet over my shoulders and arms. “You see. Someone is going to have to pay for your crime.” She giggled again and it turned into a fit of insane laughter. “It can’t be you, of course. I need every bit of you whole. But someone is going to have to pay. Someone is going to have to burn.” She lifted my face again to meet her eyes.

“No.”

“Oh yes, Kaiyer. You see my love, there are things worse than death. We will experience all of them. Together.”

“Put him back in his cell.”

The sound of her laughter filled my mind again. I was drowning in the madness that had claimed the woman I once loved.

I awoke thrashing as I remembered the guards hauling me back to my cell. I opened my eyes and my breathing and heartrate calmed slowly as I realized I was in Paug’s bed. I untangled myself from the linens that had threaded themselves around my arms and legs like chains. They were soaked in cold, reeking sweat.

It was close to midnight. I found my clothes and walked out into the kitchen area of Janci’s home. Enough starlight leaked through the doors and windows to illuminate the room. My stomach grumbled a bit and I debated making some eggs, but then decided to walk out onto the beach.

The air was cool and the rhythmic whoosh of the waves calmed me. I walked to the shore and sat on a smooth rock at the foot of the lighthouse. I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes, focusing on the sound of the water being endlessly pulled back to the land by the moons. The sound was both soothing and troubling. A roiling lull, full of yearning and failure.

Shlara.

I had spent hours reliving my mistake, agonizing over the pain I had caused, the life I had stolen. I thought I had forgiven myself for her death, but could I ever forgive myself for the monstrous life I had left her with?

Endless, excruciating pain. Agony and rage that had driven her insane. She had become stronger than all of us, evoking fear and revulsion from those who loved her. She was a monster. She should have hated me, she should have murdered me. Yet somehow she still loved me. I had never been worthy of her love, even before.

I sighed and stood, undressing, I waded out into the ocean until the cold water churned around my waist. I leaned back, floating on the surface of the waves, letting my mind and body drift with the water.

I thought of Paug and his eager smile. He had believed I was the hero he imagined. He knew nothing of what I really was. His hero had not saved him.

Nadea had also believed in me, and I had not yet failed her. I had saved Jessmei. I had been the hero they needed. Was that enough to atone for what I had done to Shlara?

I smiled when I thought of Jessmei. Our time together, holed up in the cave had been wonderful; each time we made love was more enjoyable than the one before. I missed talking to her. She was warm and supportive. I could easily spend the rest of my life with her, raising a family, working to provide for her, for our children.

Did I love her?

As much as I loved Nadea.

As much as I loved Shlara.

And Iolarathe.

I laughed out loud and let the waves take me under in their cool embrace. I had found four wonderful women to love in my life. It was a blessing and not a curse. I was the curse. I was the reason for the pain. These women had done nothing but love me. All of this time I had blamed Iolarathe, but I was the one who hurt Shlara. I was the one who used her devotion and twisted her love into the sick obsession that drove her insane.

I had lied to her. I had lied to all of them, and to myself. I had claimed a nobler purpose, an unselfish desire to free the human race, but Iolarathe was right. It had always been about revenge for what she had done to me and my family. I loved her too much to punish her, so instead I punished everyone else. I was not so different from Shlara.

I surfaced and took a grateful breath. The water pulled me back down into its cold embrace, so far down that the darkness became complete. Pain exploded over my body, but it wasn’t from the lack of air in my lungs. I reached to my chest and felt the long shaft of an arrow, next to it were three others. Another went through my neck, one through my arm, and one in my thigh.

I grabbed for the one at my neck and stifled a gasp. I had been hit from behind and the arrowhead was tangled up in my esophagus. The shaft broke in half and I pulled each end out carefully so as not to damage any more tissue. Then I yanked the other projectiles out of my thigh, arm, and chest. Three remained stuck in my ribs like barbs. I had to wiggle my body in the water to get them to angle past the bones and push them out through my back.

I could easily hold my breath for ten minutes, but eventually I would need air. I had to figure out how to get to the surface soon. A current pulled me and I swam with it and kicked a booted foot against the water.

I gasped and screamed into the night as I broke the surface. The starlight lit the undulating sand of the shore and it looked like white silk sheets. I kicked my bare feet and swam to the shoreline in a few strokes. I shook off whatever spare drops of water I could and then donned my clothes before I sprinted to the house.

“Janci!” I shouted as I ran into the main room. I heard the old man startle awake with a surprised yelp and I flung his door open.

“I remembered!” He was wearing a white nightgown with a floppy cap. For half a second he looked terrified but then he smiled when he recognized me.

I should have waited a few hours until he had awoken with the light but I knew I had to leave as soon as possible. “I remembered how I got to your home.”

“I dragged you from the ocean.”

“No. Well, yes. I mean that I remember how I got to the ocean.” I shook my head.

“Good! Let me make some tea and you can tell me.” He sprung out of the bed with the energy of a child.

“I don’t have much time.”

“Everyone has time for tea, Kaiyer.” He lit the end of a wax stick with an oil lamp and used the tool to set more candles ablaze. Then he kneeled down at the hearth fire and gathered kindling.

“Let me help.” I gently pushed him behind me and set the stacked wood instantly on fire with a small focus of Air and Earth.

“Amazing! I have never witnessed you using your magic in this way.” His eyes stared at the fire in wonder and then glanced back to my outstretched hand.

“The tea,” I reminded him. “I’ll explain the magic to you later."

“Ahh yes.” He put on the kettle and gestured to the chairs.

“Shlara was alive,” I began.

“Huh?” He looked confused.

“I did not really kill her. She lived through the fire, but she was badly burnt and could not heal. The pain drove her insane.” I sighed and sat down. I closed my eyes and saw her fingers again, talons of flesh melded to metal, twisting possessively into my shoulder.

Janci looked at me expectantly.

“I was at Castle Nia. I went there to save Nadea and Jessmei. They had both been captured. I was discovered and I fought through the halls. I think . . .” The memory that had been so clear as I floated in the ocean started to dissipate like foam on the surface of the breaking waves. “I was wearing my armor. I carried my shield and my mace. I don’t understand how. But I know Jessmei was with me, and Nadea, Greykin, Beltor . . . they escaped. I followed them but I was struck by too many arrows and fell in the catacombs.”

“With the wurms?” he whispered in fear and fascination.

“Aye. I dove into the underground river. It swept me toward the ocean. Then you found me.”

“Where did they go?” Janci took the kettle from the fire and poured the steaming water into a pot full of herbs.

“To Nadea’s keep. The Losher army has retreated.”

“I have been there once. It would be difficult to siege, but so was Nia and they breached the walls easily. These Elvens are stronger than us and possess magic.” He spoke with a defeated acceptance and scholarly indifference. The facts were grim but he was not involved. His passion for the fate of Nia had ended with Paug. Out here in his secluded home, Janci’s life would likely proceed similarly, whether Elvens or humans ruled the planet. But the fate of this world still mattered to me. It mattered to Jessmei and Nadea and their children.

“I can change people. Make soldiers as powerful as I am. I remember how. I have already changed Nadea.” He stopped and looked at me, fascination once again stoked. “It is risky, and it will take time, but it is the only hope for the future of your country. The empress will destroy all of the Radicles, then she can enslave all of the humans on this planet with no interference.”

“You’ll have to travel straight through the center of the country to reach the keep in less than five or six weeks. The empress will be looking for you. They’re likely already tracking down the remnants of the army.”

“That is why I need to leave immediately.” I tilted my head back and drank the cup of tea in one burning gulp.

“They are from the Ubarwa Tribe.” My father shook his head and sniffed the air. He crouched next to a body. I had transported the assassins’ corpses back to his estate on horseback. “You killed them all?” He looked to me with a raised eyebrow. The bodies had begun to reek, so I had moved upwind of them, but the breeze was light and I could taste their death mingling with the honey scent of his pride.

“Did they know I was coming?” I crossed my arms and then tried to hide a bored yawn.

“Obviously,” he scoffed.

“Oh, pardon me, Father. Perhaps a better question would be: Why the fuck did they know I was coming and why didn’t you fucking think about sending more guards to escort me here?” I could not keep the fury from my voice but I did keep it from my scent. My father had six elders who helped him manage his tribe. Only four of them had come to welcome me and they stared at my hunting trophies with the lemon scent of their surprise plain in the air. I saw and smelled their indignation at my insolent rant toward their leader.

“Girl, need I remind you of your place here?” He straightened up to his full height, almost a head taller than I stood, and walked the few steps that separated us to attempt to intimidate me up close.

“Please don’t embarrass yourself in front of your elders.” I fought back a giggle with the hand I had just used to cover my yawn. “As you are clearly incapable of keeping secrets, you don’t want Ubarwa to find out I am more powerful than you.” I mustered my most innocent-looking and phony smile. The elders watched us, the scent of their fascination clear in the air.

“Your mother was right about you. You lack any sort of
—
” He clenched his teeth and fists, too angered to continue. He knew I was right. His scent reeked of burned, peppery meat.