“God, you’re raw.” Wragg’s mouth wasn’t open now. His eyes were narrowed to slits. “If I had such a bullet I might bring it just to call you.”
“Oh, you have it.” Wolfe was patient. “What happened that night in Althaus’s apartment'A person I’ll call X-I could give a better name, for now X will do-shot him with his own gun. The bullet went through him to the wall and fell to the floor. X departed, taking the gun. Soon your three men arrived, entering just as they entered this house last night. Shall I go into detail?”
“Yes.”
“Here they didn’t ring the bell because it was known, so they thought, that the house was empty. It had been under surveillance for a week. They rang Althaus’s bell, and probably his telephone, but he didn’t answer because he was dead. After they had searched the apartment and got what they had come for, it occurred to them that you would suspect that one of them had killed him, and as evidence that they hadn’t they took the bullet, which was there on the floor. That violated a law of the State of New York, but they had already violated one, why not another'They took it and gave it to you with their report.”
He flipped a hand. “Possibly their bringing the bullet, instead of convincing you of their innocence, had the opposite effect, but I won’t speculate about your mental processes, why you didn’t believe them. As I said, you know your men. But of course you still have the bullet, and I’m going to want it.”
Wragg’s eyes had stayed narrow. “Listen, Wolfe. You trapped us once, damn you. You trapped us good. But not again. If I had that bullet I wouldn’t be sap enough to give it to you.”
“You will be a sap if you don’t.” Wolfe made a face. There are a few slang words he likes and uses, but “sap” isn’t one of them, and he had uttered it. He straightened his face. “I concern myself with this because I have an obligation-to the person from whom I learned that your men were there that night-and I don’t like obligations. Exposing the murderer will cancel that debt and, incidentally, relieve your mind. Wouldn’t you like it to be established that Althaus was not killed by one of your men'Bring me that bullet, and it will be. I make another offer: bring me that bullet, and if your men are not cleared within a month by disclosure of the murderer I’ll give you those credentials. It shouldn’t take a month, probably not even a week.”
Wragg’s eyes were open. “You’ll return the credentials?”
“Yes.”
“You say ‘disclosure.’ Disclosed to whom?”
“To you. Disclosed sufficiently to convince you that your men are innocent-of murder, that is.”
“You make an offer. What guarantee would I have?”
“My word.”
“How good is your word?”
“Better than yours. Much better, if that book is to be believed. No man alive can say that I have ever dishonored my word.”
Wragg ignored the dig. “When would you want the bullet-if I had it?”
“I don’t know. Possibly later today. Or tomorrow. I would want to receive it from your hands.”
“If I had it.” Wragg stood up. “I have some thinking to do. I’m promising nothing. I’ll-“
“But you are. You have. No surveillance of my client or me.”
“That, yes. I mean-you know what I mean.” He moved, then stopped and turned. “You’ll be here all day?”
“Yes. But if you telephone, my line is tapped.” He didn’t think that was funny. I doubt if he would have thought anything whatever was funny. As I followed him to the hall and held his coat and handed him his hat, he didn’t even know I was there. When I turned from shutting the door behind him I saw the client entering the office, Saul at her heels, and I decided not to marry her. She should have waited for me to come and escort her. When I reached the office there was a tableau. Mrs Bruner and Saul were standing side by side at Wolfe’s desk, looking down at him, and he was leaning back with his eyes closed. It was a nice picture, and I stopped at the door to enjoy it. Half a minute. A full minute. That was enough, since she had appointments, and as I crossed to them I asked, “Could you hear all right?”
Wolfe’s eyes opened. Not answering me, she told him, “You’re an incredible man. Utterly incredible. I didn’t really think you could do it. Incredible. Is there anything you couldn’t do?”
He straightened up. “Yes, madam,” he said, “there is. I couldn’t put sense in a fool’s brain. I have tried. I could mention others. You understand why it was desirable for you to come. The letter you signed says ‘if you get the result I desire.’ Are you satisfied?”
“Of course I am. Incredible.”
“I find it a little hard to believe, myself. Please sit down. There is something I must tell you.”
“There certainly is.” She went to the red leather chair. Saul went to a yellow one and I to mine. She asked, “What was the trap you set?”
Wolfe shook his head. “Not that. That can wait. Mr Goodwin will give you all the details at your and his convenience. I must tell you not what has been done but what should now be done. You are my client and I must protect you from embarrassment. How discreet are you?”
She frowned. “Why do you ask that?”
“Please answer it. How discreet are you'Can you be trusted with a secret?”
“Yes.”
His head turned. “Archie?”
Damn him anyway. It was all right to embarrass me. What if I changed my mind again and decided to marry her'
“Yes,” I said, “if I know where you’re headed, and I think I do.”
“Of course you do.” To her: “I wish to save you the embarrassment of having your secretary taken from your office by the police, perhaps in your presence, to be questioned regarding a murder which she probably committed.”
He had only fazed Wragg, but that staggered the client. Her mouth didn’t drop open; she just stared, speechless.
“I say probably,” Wolfe said, “but it is barely short of certainty. The victim was Morris Althaus. Mr Goodwin will give you the details of this too, but not now, not until the situation has been resolved. I would have preferred not to give you even the bare fact now, but as my client you merit my protection. I wish to make a suggestion.”
“I don’t believe it,” she said. “I want the details now.”
“You won’t get them.” He was curt. “I have had a trying week, and night, and day. If you make this difficult too I’ll leave the room and you’ll leave the house, and probably question Miss Dacos. That will alarm her and she’ll skedaddle, and after the police find her and bring her back they will have questions for you-civil questions, but many of them. Do you want that?”
“No.”
“Do you think I would make so grave an accusation idly?”
“No.”
“Then I have a suggestion.” He looked at the wall clock. Five minutes past noon. “What time does Miss Dacos go to lunch?”
“It varies. She eats there, in the breakfast room, usually around one o’clock.”
“Then Mr Panzer will go with you now. Tell her you are going to have the office redecorated-painted, plastered, whatever suits-and you won’t need her the remainder of this week. Mr Panzer will start the preparations immediately. She, your secretary, is going to be taken, but at least she won’t be taken from your house. I do not want a murderer taken into custody in the house of my client. Do you?”
“No.”
“Nor would you have wanted the disagreeable surprise of sitting in your office with your secretary and having the police suddenly appear and drag her out.”
“No.”
“Then you may thank me at your convenience for preventing it. You’re not in a humor to thank anyone for anything at the moment. Shall Mr Panzer go in your car with you, or separately'You could discuss it with him on the way. He is not a fool.”
She looked at me and back at Wolfe. “Can Mr Goodwin go?”
Saul has not yet heard the last of that. It didn’t change my decision about marriage because I prefer to do the courting myself, but it gave me one on Saul. Wolfe told her no, Mr Goodwin had work to do, and the poor woman had to settle for Saul. He brought her coat from the front room and held it for her, and I admit I had a pang. By the time they got to Seventy-fourth Street she would be appreciating him. Not wanting to intrude, I didn’t go to the hall with them.
When the sound came of the front door closing Wolfe cocked his head at me and demanded, “Say something.”
“Bejabers,” I said. “Will that do'A guy I know named Bimbaum uses it to show he’s not prejudiced. Bejabers.”
“Satisfactory.”
“All of that.”
“Our telephone is still tapped. Will you see Mr Cramer before lunch?”
“After would be better. He’ll be in a better humor. It will take them only an hour or so to get the warrant.”
“Very well. But don’t- Yes, Fred?”
Fred Durkin, at the door, announced, “They want breakfast.”
The office of the inspector in command of Homicide South on West Twentieth Street is not really shabby, but it’s not for show. The linoleum floor has signs of wear, Cramer’s desk would appreciate a sanding job, I have never seen the windows really clean, and the chairs, all but Cramer’s, are plain, honest, hard wood. As I put my fundament on one of them at 2:35 p.m. he snapped at me, “I told you don’t come and don’t phone.”
I nodded. “But it’s okay now and I had to. Mr Wolfe-“
“What’s okay?”
“He has earned the hundred grand and a fee.”
“The hell he has. He has got them to quit on that Mrs Bruner?”
“Yes. Bejabers. But we haven’t filled your order. We have-“
“I didn’t give any order.”
“Oh, all right. We have learned that it wasn’t a G-man who shot Morris Althaus. We think we know who did, and we think we know how it can be tagged. I’m not going to tell you how we put the screws on the FBI. That’s not what I came for, and Mr Wolfe will enjoy telling you some time at your leisure, and you’ll enjoy listening. It was the longest shot he has ever played, and it hit. I’m here to talk homicide.”
“Go ahead. Talk.”
I reached to my breast pocket, took something out, and handed it to him. “I doubt if you’ve seen that before,” I said, “but one or more of your men have. It was in a drawer in Althaus’s bedroom. His mother gave me the keys, so don’t book me for illegal entry. Look at the back.”
He turned it over and read the poetry.
“That,” I said, “is a take-off of the last four lines of the second stanza of Keats’s ‘Ode on a Grecian Urn.’ Rather clever. It was written by Miss Sarah Dacos, Mrs Bruner’s secretary, who lives at Sixty-three Arbor Street, second floor, below Althaus’s apartment. The way I know, I got samples of her handwriting from Mrs Bruner. Here they are.” I got them from a pocket and handed them over. “By the way, she saw the three G-men leave the house. From her window. Remember that when you’re working on her.”
“Working on her for what'This?” He tapped the photograph.
“No. The main thing I came for was to place a bet. One will get you fifty that if you get a warrant and comb her apartment you’ll get something you’ll appreciate. The sooner the better.” I stood up. “That’s all for now. We would-“
“Like hell it’s all.” His red round face was redder. “Sit down. I’ll work on you. What will we find and when did you put it there?”
“I didn’t. Listen. As you know, when you deal with me you’re dealing with Mr Wolfe. You also know that I always stick to instructions. For the present I’m through. I stand mute. Any time you spend barking at me will be wasted. Get the warrant and use it, and if you find anything Mr Wolfe will be glad to discuss it.”
“I’ll discuss it with you first. You’ll stay right here.”
“Not unless I’m put under arrest.” I got sore. “What more do you want, for God’s sake'You’ve had this homicide nearly two months! We’ve had it one week!”
I turned and walked out. It was even money I would be stopped, if not there by him then down on the ground floor when I left the elevator. But all I got, from the bull on duty in the downstairs hall, who knew me by sight, was a nod, not too friendly but almost human. I didn’t loiter.
I crossed town to Sixth Avenue and turned south. Everything was under control at the old brownstone. Ashley Jarvis and Dale Kirby, not too badly hung over, had been fed a hearty breakfast and handed the bonus of one grand each, and had departed. Fred and Orrie had each been given three Cs for two days’ work, not to mention nights, miles above scale, and had also departed. Saul was up at Mrs Bruner’s office getting ready to paint or plaster, whichever suited. Wolfe would of course be reading a book, certainly not The FBI Nobody Knows, since he knew them now, anyhow three of them, and at four o’clock he would go up to the plant rooms, back on schedule. Since I never take an afternoon nap, even when I’m short on sleep, I could go for a walk, and did.
I came to a stop across the street from 63 Arbor Street. But the thermometer outside the front-room window had said sixteen above zero when I got up, and it had climbed only about five notches since, and I had the keys in my pocket, so I crossed the street, entered, and mounted the two flights to Althaus’s apartment. I include this in the report not because it changed anything, but because I remember so well my state of mind. Fifty-three hours had passed since I had put the gun under the box spring, and that was time enough for a healthy girl to find a dozen guns and put them somewhere else. If it wasn’t there we would now be out on a limb, and a shaky one, since I had told Cramer. He knew Wolfe hadn’t sent me there just on a suspicion or a hunch; he knew we knew there was something hot in that apartment, and if it was gone we were in for it. If I told him about the gun I would be admitting I had tampered with evidence; if I didn’t, I would be suspected of something even worse, and good-by licenses.
You may not be interested in my state of mind, but believe me I was. At one of the front windows in Althaus’s living room I pushed the drape aside and pressed my forehead against the glass so I could see the sidewalk below. That was fairly dumb, but a state of mind can make you dumb. It was 3:25. I had left Cramer only thirty-five minutes ago, and it would take them about an hour to get the warrant, so what was I expecting to see'Also the glass was cold, and I backed away a couple of inches. But I was really on edge, and now and then I put my forehead to the glass again, and after a while I did see something. Sarah Dacos came in view on the sidewalk with a big brown paper bag under her arm and turned in at the entrance. It was ten minutes to four. Seeing her didn’t help my state of mind any. I had nothing against Sarah Dacos. Of course I had nothing for her either. A woman who sends a bullet through a man’s pump may or may not deserve some sympathy, but she damn well can’t expect a stranger to take a detour if she gets in his way while he’s doing a job.
Bending my ears, I heard the door of her apartment open and close.
At a quarter past four two police cars stopped out in front.
One of them found a spot at the curb and the other one double-parked, and I recognized all three of the homicide dicks who got out and headed for Number 63. One of them, Sergeant Purley Stebbins, was probably thinking of me as he pushed the button at the door. He hates to find Nero Wolfe or me in the same county with a homicide, and here he was on an errand we were responsible for. I wanted to go to the hall to hear the conversation when he showed her the warrant, but didn’t. He might smell me and it would hold up the search.
It took them not more than ten minutes to find it. They entered the apartment at 4:21, that was when I heard the door close, and Purley left the house with her at 4:43. I’m allowing twelve minutes for him to ask her a few questions after he got the gun. I stood at the window and watched Purley get in the car with her, and the car pull off, and then went and sat on the couch. Since he had taken her, the question about the gun was answered. I stayed on the couch a few minutes while my state of mind got adjusted.
I got my hat and coat and went. There was still a NYPD car out in front, waiting for the two dicks still in the apartment, and the driver might know me, but so what'I hadn’t recognized him from the window, and I don’t know if he knew me or not. As I walked past the car, no hurry, he gave me a hard eye, but that could have been because I had come out of that house.
I walked home. It was a little after half past five, dark, when I mounted the stoop and let myself in. I went to the kitchen, got a glass of milk, and asked Fritz, “Has he told you that we’re off the hook?”
“No.” He was inspecting carrots.
“Well, we are. Say anything you want to on the phone. Resume with your girl friends. If a stranger speaks to you, do as you please. Do you want some good advice?”
“Yes.”
“Hit him for a raise. I am. By the way, I haven’t asked you about the dinner last night. Did you feed them good?”
He leveled his eyes at me. “Archie, that is never to be mentioned. That terrible day. Epouvantable. My mind was here with you. I don’t know what I did, I don’t know what was served. I will forget it if possible.”
“Hewitt said on the phone that they stood and applauded you.”
“But certainly. They were polite. I know I put no truffles in the Perigourdine.”
“Good God. I’m glad I wasn’t there. Okay, we’ll forget it. May I have a carrot'It’s wonderful with milk.”
He said certainly, and I helped myself.
I was at my desk, making out checks to pay bills, when Wolfe came down from the plant rooms. Though he hadn’t said so I knew he was as much on edge as I had been, and as he went to his desk I turned my head and said, “Relax. They got the gun.”
“How do you know?”
I told him, beginning with the conversation with Cramer and ending with the conversation with Fritz. He asked if I had got a receipt for the photograph.
“No,” I said, “he wasn’t in a mood for signing receipts. I had told him that Althaus hadn’t been killed by a G-man, and that hurt.”
“No doubt. Will Mr Wragg be at his office?”
“He could be.”
“Get him.”
I turned and got the phone, but as I started to dial the doorbell rang. I cradled it and went to the hall for a look, turned, and said, “You can ask him for the receipt.”
He took a breath. “Is he alone?”
I told him yes and went to the front and opened the door. Cramer didn’t have a carton of milk for me. He had nothing at all for me, not even a nod. When I had his coat he made for the office, and when I got there he was planted in the red leather chair and talking. I got the end of it: “& and I might have known better. God knows I should know better.” He switched to me as I sat. “Where did you get that gun and when did you put it there?”
“Confound it,” Wolfe growled, “you shouldn’t have come. You should have waited until you had arranged your mind. Archie, get Mr Wragg.”
When Cramer is boiling it isn’t easy to stop the steam, but that did, the name Wragg. I didn’t see him clamp his jaw and glare at Wolfe, I only knew he did, because my back was turned as I dialed LES-7700. I was supposing it would take patience and staying power to get through to the top, but not at all. Apparently word had been passed down that a call from Nero Wolfe had priority, which was a good sign. In no time the smooth low-pitched drawl was in my ear, and in Wolfe’s too, for he had picked up his phone. I stayed on.
“Wolfe?”
“Yes. Mr Wragg?”
“Yes.”
“I’m ready for that bullet. Now. As we agreed. Bring the bullet, and I surrender the credentials if you are not satisfied within a month. I think it will be sooner, much sooner.”
No hesitation. “I’ll come.”
“Now?”
“Yes.”
As we hung up Wolfe asked me, “How long will it take him?” I said twenty minutes or less, that he wouldn’t have to scout for a taxi, and Wolfe turned to Cramer. “Mr Wragg will be here in twenty minutes. I suggest-“
“Wragg of the FBI?”
“Yes. I suggest that you postpone your onslaught until he arrives-and, perhaps, goes-and meanwhile I’ll describe an operation which has been concluded. I have told Mr Wragg that I will make no public disclosure of it, but you are not the public, and since you made it possible I owe it to you. But it will help in dealing with him if you will answer two questions. Was a gun found in Miss Dacos’s apartment?”
“Certainly. I just asked Goodwin when he put it there, and I’m going to ask him again.”
“You may not after we finish with Mr Wragg. Was it the gun Morris Althaus had a permit for?”
“Yes.”
“That will simplify matters greatly. Now that operation& “
He described it, and he reports almost as well as I do-better, if you like long words. There was no point in leaving Hewitt’s name out since the FBI knew all about it, and he gave all the details. When he came to the scene in the office, with the two G-men completely surrounded by guns and him dropping their credentials in his drawer, I saw something I had never seen before and will probably never see again, a broad smile on the face of Inspector Cramer. And it was there again when, reporting the conversation with Wragg that morning, Wolfe came to where he had told him that his word was much better. I was thinking that he might even pop up to go to Wolfe and pat him on the back when the doorbell rang and I went to answer it.
I have mentioned that Wragg was fazed when Wolfe asked him to bring the bullet, but that was nothing compared to the jolt he got when he walked into the office and saw Cramer. I was behind him and couldn’t see his face, but I saw him go stiff and his fingers curl. Cramer, on his feet, started a hand out but took it back.
As I brought a yellow chair Wragg spoke to Wolfe. “Your word'Better than mine'You goddam skunk!”
“Sit down,” Wolfe said. “Whether my word is better or not, my brain is. I don’t judge a situation before I understand it. Mr Cramer is-“
“All agreements are off.”
“Pfui. You’re not a donkey. Mr Cramer is regretting that he surmised that a member of your bureau was a murderer. If you sit down and compose yourself he may tell you so.”
“I have no apologies for anybody,” Cramer growled. He turned his head to make sure the red leather chair was still there, and sat. “Anyone who withholds information-“
“No,” Wolfe snapped. “If you gentlemen must contend, that’s your affair, but not in my office. I want to resolve a situation, not tangle it. I like eyes at a level, Mr Wragg. Be seated.”
“Resolve it how?”
“Sit down and I’ll tell you.”
He didn’t want to. He looked at Cramer, he even looked at me, like a general surveying a battlefield and watching his flanks. He didn’t like it, but he sat.
Wolfe turned a palm up. “Actually,” he said, “the situation isn’t tangled at all. We all want the same thing. I want to get rid of an obligation. You, Mr Wragg, want it made manifest that your men are not criminally implicated in a murder. You, Mr Cramer, want to identify and bring to account the person who killed Morris Althaus. It couldn’t be simpler. You, Mr Wragg, give Mr Cramer the bullet you have in your pocket and tell him where it came from. You, Mr Cramer, have a comparison made of that bullet with one fired from the gun which was taken this afternoon from the apartment of Sarah Dacos, and along with other evidence which no doubt your men are securing now, that will settle it. There is no-“