Authors: Tom Sharpe
‘Which we’re splitting because of our genuine friendship. And now I’d better be getting back to the Hall. I’ve something to say to my new bride.’
Esmond found Belinda in the garden with a large bunch of red roses which she was putting in a bowl.
‘Isn’t it wonderful to be here,’ she said. ‘I loved it as a child when I visited in the summer but it’s even
better now I’ve escaped from that dreadful Albert and his horrible bungalow. You’ve no idea how I hated living there.’
‘I can imagine,’ said Esmond who, now that he thought about it, really could imagine how dreadful life with his uncle must have been. Even more alarmingly, the very thought of Belinda in another man’s arms made him feel quite ill. Whatever had come over him?
‘You’re never going back there, Belinda,’ he began, adopting a stern look. ‘You’re going to stay here and you’re going to damned well do as I say from now on. I’ve been thinking about it and I love the peaceful natural life I have here and I’m going to stay and be a farmer but I can’t hold with you slipping me sleeping tablets and telling me what to do and say all the time. I want a proper wife: one who looks after me properly else there’s going to be hell to pay. And what’s more Old Samuel isn’t going to be called Old Samuel any longer. It isn’t even his name. He’s going to be called Jeremy, Young Jeremy for now and then when he’s old, Old Jeremy. And what’s even more, Old Samuel – I mean Young Jeremy – isn’t going to work for us any more because he and I are going to go into partnership. He’s come into some money and we’ve decided that we’re going to go into business breeding bulls as well as running the farm. You’re to have nothing to do with any of it although you can feed the piglets from time to time if you’ve a mind to … And, and …’
‘Well, you’re the boss, my love. You make the decisions.’
Esmond looked at Belinda in astonishment.
‘But you said only the other day that we had to stick to the old traditions and now –’
‘What’s the point of trying to follow an ancient and clearly barbaric tradition? We are equals. It’s as simple as that. If we have a baby girl she can follow the tradition of the past if she so wishes but for my part I rather hope that we have a boy.’
And on that note she carried the bowl of roses into the house.
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