The Hand That Holds Mine (4 page)

“They work for me,” a smooth voice says, seizing the whole room with the sound of his voice. A thumping of footsteps begins to come towards us all as I feel the presence of a devilish soul entering the room. A hand reaches out for me and helps me up, his alluring eyes meet me with care and concern.
Nick?
He nods with the smile that I wrote -
breaks more than a thousand hearts.
The killer with a heart deep inside of him, Nick, is the bad boy you can’t deny.
He steps in front of me and towards my attackers, “I think we have a problem here.” He says with a simmering hum.

“I don’t know who you are but this is none of your concern.” Rick demands with a shaky voice.

“Who are
you
… to tell
me,
what is my concern?” Nick glares, setting my attackers back on their heels.

“If you want it to be your concern then I’m sure we can make it your concern!” Rick demands taking out a gun.

Nick laughs, leisurely walking towards the trembling man and his gun, “If you want to live, then you’ll leave here and never return.” Nick snatches the gun from his hand. “Otherwise, I assure you, that you will not see daylight again.” He says with a low growl. Rick runs but has to fight his own men to get out the door first. Multiple hands hold me up as my legs begin to give out from under me. I see faces I have never looked upon before but that I have seen a million times in my mind. Nick picks me up and I wrap my arms around his neck, and take in his scent and just as I wrote -
it is intoxicating.
Placing me in bed, he removes the hair from my face with a gentle touch, “You’re okay now, Adeline.”

“Mitch will not give up …”

“He will give up, and he will sign your divorce papers before morning. I promise you that.” Nick says kissing my hand and smiling that devilish smile, causing my knees to shake. “Sleep well, Adeline.”

Before he can leave me, I call out to him, “Will you be back?”

“Only if you need me to be.”

“Nick … is it you that holds my hand at night?”

“No Adeline,” he says cocking his head to one side, “you know who he is. Besides, you wrote my story already, remember?” He says leaving me with an innocent kiss that takes my breath away.

I am awakened harshly by the debilitating pain and struggle to get to the bathroom. Vomiting blood and collapsing on the floor, I have nothing left to make it back to bed. But it isn’t long before I feel his warm touch and am quickly lifted up and carried back to bed and gently tucked back into my soft bedding with a tender kiss. I hold my hand out, searching through the darkness. “I’m here,” He says taking my hand and lying next to me as I sleep.

~
Adeline ~

 
The next day is filled with much the same as the day before, only Aaron has left me a note, atop my sign and sealed divorce papers:
He is never going to bother you again, Adeline.

“Thank you,” I whisper into the room believing he can hear me … believing they
all
can hear me.

I think back to all the stories I have written and all the places I talked about and dreamed about and wonder - what if I had lived it, rather than wrote about it? There never seemed to be enough time. I was always struggling, praying just to make it to the next day. Money never seemed to come easy to me, I worked every job I could and writing in between. Writing - my escape from the troubles, the worries and my fears of what may happen. My stories were always a gleeful break from it all, a glimmer of hope that nothing else could give me. When I finally was able to get one book to sell, the others followed and my life of struggle seemed to be over. Little did I know, my struggles were long from over. Happiness, love, always seemed to be for other people. I could never find it, no matter how hard I tried or maybe I didn’t, maybe I didn’t believe I deserved it - until now.

Maybe this is all a dream, a picture I created in my own mind, a final good-bye to my imagination. It all seems to be so unbelievable. But if I gave up believing, then I would have stopped writing long ago. I need to find him, I can’t lie here anymore waiting for him to come to me, waiting for him to hold my dying body. I force myself out of bed and to my feet, “Hello? Are you there?” It is the time that he usually comes, he has to be here. I search my whole house, peek out my windows and even check the closets until my body begins to tire and ache. “You can’t let me die here without knowing who you are.”
Can he?

“Why do you always ask that question when you know who I am?” He walks in like a perfect dream, the perfect hero. If I had thought for a million years, I would have never come up with someone so perfect,
so unbelievably perfect … for me.
Taking my hands I feel his strength run through my hands and into my body like waves of energy that hold me up and give me what I need.

“I don’t know who you are.” I say gasping through my smiling face.

“You have been writing about me for days but you don’t know who I am? You don’t know the man you dream about every night? You should, Adeline, we have shared your bed.” He smiles in jest.

“Joshua?” I whisper and he smiles. “Joshua Riley, the character I have been trying to …”

“Not trying, doing. You are succeeding.”

“But I don’t know anything about you or what your story is or … who your heroine is supposed to be.”

“I as well, have been eagerly waiting to know what you will come up with for me. You are so amazing, I am sure you will decide on the perfect story for me.”

“I want to but I’m having trouble understanding who you are and, therefore, having trouble deciding on the story.”

“Well maybe we should spend some time figuring it out together. Where would you like to start?” Taking my hand he helps me to my feet and leads me to another place whispering, “Maybe we should get some Italian food, I heard you like pizza?” I look up and see the Trevi Fountain.
Rome
? We’re in
Rome
?
Even though my eyes see it, I still can’t believe it.
“Go ahead, throw a coin, and make a wish. It would be a wonderful way to start our journey.” Joshua says, handing me a coin. Taking the shiny metal in my hand, I squeeze it firmly in my palm, closing my eyes and looking up to the heavens to imagine my perfect dream, my perfect wish … and then I throw. The shimmering coin tumbles high in the air before crashing down into the water with a splash. “You know I think the bigger the splash, the bigger the wish to come true.” Smiling wide I take hold of his hand and follow him.

We find ourselves eating true Italian pizza, sharing gelato along the ancient streets and talking endlessly about the beauty we encounter, all the while he continues to hold my hand and smile into my eyes. With the moon overhead we look out from a bridge to the sparkling water,
it is so beautiful.
I look back at him catching his eyes staring right back at me. “Do you like dogs Joshua?”

“I do, can I have one?” He says nudging my side when I laugh.

“What about kids?”

“I would like three, if you are taking orders. What about you?”

“I would be happy with one.”

“I’m sure it will happen for you.” He says obviously not understanding my situation. I smile with a weak nod.

“Why are you so sad?” I shake my head and stare back out over the water. Josh takes my hand and pulls me in close. With his arms wrapped around me he breathes in and relieves all my fears.

At the end of the night, he looks me over with a sadden expression and suddenly I feel as though I am Cinderella. “I have to go back, don’t I?”

“Only for awhile. Tomorrow we will go somewhere else - if you would like?”

“Where are we going to go?” I ask with anticipation.

He kisses me on the cheek and whispers against my ear, “You decide where this time,
Bella Donna
.” His humming, Italian compliment sets me adrift and I wake in my bed with the sun shining bright on my cheek.

~
Adeline ~

 
Jeneba rubs my back as I cough and struggle to regain my breath. “You need to have someone stay with you full time. It is time to set aside your stubbornness and allow someone to help you.” She says helping my shivering body back into the comfort of my bed.

“I’m fine, I don’t need anyone here watching me sleep.”

“You are not simply sleeping anymore. Besides how much sleep can you possibly be getting …” Her frustration with me is obvious and I feel bad for forcing her and Deb to worry so much.

“Fine, I will allow someone to come in, but I want to be the one to decide on whom.” I say shaking my head as she smiles triumphantly.

“I had a feeling you would say that, so I called the agency and had them send someone over.”

“You what?” I sigh cursing her under my breath.

“She should be here soon.”
Great.
By the time Jeneba sets a lunch down in front of me the doorbell rings and I groan at the thought of this person disrupting my life. She walks into the room with a strong attitude and already I am wanting to deny her. “Adeline, this is Pamela Cousins.”

“Excuse me?” I ask looking her over.

“She said Pamela! Are you hard-of-hearing too? I thought you were just sick?” Pamela huffs.

“I can hear fine, I … oh never mind.”

 
“Okay then, let’s get one thing straight, I have certain rules to any place I work and I will not put up with any of them being broken. If you follow my rules and don’t give me any trouble, then we will get along just fine. I require a clean room and my own bathroom. I will take care of the chores, the grocery shopping and any errands that are necessary to your care and I mean to your care
only
. I will not be a part of supplying you with any pornographic videos or magazines nor will I put up with loud, disrespectful music.” She says with authority, taking her coat off and making herself at home before I have a chance to say anything.
Did I invite her to stay and don’t remember?”

“Well I guess you have a new nurse. Congratulations.” Jeneba says leaning down to whisper in my ear. “I think I will go, she snarled at my People magazine so before I get into trouble - by sweetheart.” Jeneba exits quickly leaving me with the stern Pamela.

“I thought she would never leave.” Pamela says taking my lunch tray from me.

“I am not finished with that.”

“Doesn’t look like you have even started it, and for good reason - it’s crap.” She says leaving the room and coming back with a tray full of junk food.

“I don’t think I am supposed to have this.”

“Why? Are you afraid it will kill you?” She says smartly. “Here, if you eat this then I have some brownies for later. You don’t mind if I watch my programs do you.” Pamela turns on the TV and promptly turns it on to some movie.”

“I have never seen this movie before?”

“It’s a Sean Grant movie, I just love him. So handsome and oh … so wonderful.” She says joyfully.

“You really are Pamela.” I say staring at her, “The nurse from …”

“This is much better than the hospital. By the way, I don’t know why you couldn’t write me with a day off once in awhile! I miss my programs.”

I smile watching my nurse enjoy her show, and dig into my curly fries sitting in front of me. “Pamela? You … umm … know Josh?” She looks back at me and nods. Smiling, “I was wondering about him.”

“Wondering what, aren’t you the one spending time with him?”

“Yes, but I am not sure what I am suppose … have to figure out about him. I’m afraid I’m enjoying our time so much I haven’t thought about much else.”

“You have to choose someone for him, Adeline. He is the hero and he needs his heroine or the story cannot be completed. No happily ever after with … only one. Give him a dog or something.” She returns to her program and I return to my food thinking of him and how am I going to possibly choose another woman for him.
Hmmm a dog? I could do that … maybe even a female dog.

I get halfway through my food before Pamela jumps up and takes it away. She races back, bringing me the boring stuff from before. “What are you doing?”

“Adeline! It’s just me.” Deb says as she walks into my house. Entering my room she greets my sour faced nurse head on. “Oh hello, how are you?” Pamela huffs and walks around her. “Well, she’s friendly. Are you still not eating? You are so stubborn but at least you did decide to take in a professional.”

I motion for Deb to come closer, “Doesn’t she seem familiar to you?”

“Who, your nurse?” I nod and she glances Pamela’s way. “She looks a little like my old Sunday Schoolteacher when I was twelve.”

“No … Pamela, Pamela Cousins a nurse … you don’t think that is a little coincidental?” Deb shakes her head. “She’s the nurse in my book, Deb.”

“Oh Adeline, this again. Really? I think you can make anyone seem like somebody, if you want to believe it enough.”

“It is her, and last night my new character, Joshua came to see me and he took me to
Italy
and we had …” Her expression proves she will never believe me.