Authors: Elaine Jeremiah
Approaching the farmhouse in the
dusk on her way back, Kate thought she could hear the faint sound of music.
She frowned. This was unusual. Her father rarely played music and certainly
not that loudly. She looked for the dogs to make sure they were still with
her, but they’d already gone ahead of her. She could see them in the distance
running towards the farmhouse. Well if her father had left the kitchen door
open and they got mud all over the house that was his fault. She’d be damned
if she would clean it up.
The music became louder and louder
the nearer she got to the farmhouse. ‘All you need is love’ by The Beatles was
playing. Her father hadn’t listened to that for years. Finally she reached
the yard. She was surprised to see some of her father’s hired workers standing
around drinking beer. What on earth was going on? She marched up to one of
them and tapped him on the shoulder.
‘What the hell’s happening?’ she
asked angrily.
He turned around surprised by her
vehemence. ‘Oh hi, Kate. Didn’t you know your sister was back?’
As Emma had stepped off the bus the
darkness was approaching fast. She’d rubbed her arms for warmth. This was it
then. She would have to walk from here because she had no money left to call
for a taxi. Her own two feet were now the only form of transport she had. Well
at least I’ve only got the one light bag, she’d thought gloomily. She watched
the bus disappearing, leaving her standing solitary on the edge of the road in
the village. It would be quite a long walk to the farm from here – about three
miles – but Emma needed to rehearse what she was going to say to her father, so
at least the walk would give her time to prepare.
Walking along the lane away from
the village, memories of her life here before she’d left for London had come
flooding back to her. She’d spent years trying to get away, but now that her
life in London was over, Emma could appreciate all that she’d had in Cornwall.
It truly was beautiful here. The fields, trees and everything around her were
covered in sparkling frost like glitter on a Christmas card, making winter seem
less unfriendly. Then there were her friends. She had friends here. Or did
have. She’d forgotten them once she moved to London, despite her promises to them
to keep in touch. She wondered if any of them would want to know her any more.
And what would she say to her father
after not having spoken to him for months? Dad, I’m really sorry for
everything. Please forgive me. That barely scratched the surface of what she
wanted to say. She needed to somehow tell him that she profoundly regretted
her behaviour, and to prove it too. The same thought that had been plaguing
her for weeks ran through her mind again. He would reject her and not want
anything to do with her. At least let me work on the farm, she half thought,
half prayed. I’ve got to have something to live on. This made her think of
Kate, who’d always paid her way. She was sure her sister hated her now, but maybe
she always had.
Emma had dismissed these troubling
thoughts with difficulty and forced herself to think hard of what to say to her
father. Perhaps he wouldn’t listen to a heartfelt apology. It might be better
to explain her predicament from a more dispassionate angle. She would need to convince
him to at least take her on as a casual worker on the farm. It could be a sort
of business arrangement; both parties would know where they stood. She
wouldn’t expect too much from him, nor he from her. She came up with different
ways of saying it, but none of them sounded convincing and shook her head as if
trying to shake all her doubts away. She’d come so far. She couldn’t fail
now.
Although she had been walking
briskly, Emma had still been cold. Her old coat wasn’t enough to keep her
warm. She had on a scarf, hat and gloves but they too were old and a little
threadbare. It was hard going. But she knew the route well and could tell how
far she had to go. Not only had she driven down these lanes on numerous
occasions, but she’d also had to walk from the village to the farm before when
she’d been out late with friends needing to get home, drunk and without a taxi.
Now she wondered how she’d managed not to end up dead in a ditch.
After she’d been walking for about
forty minutes, Emma had stopped to get her bearings. She had about a mile to
go. Looking at the field on her right, she wondered if it would be a good idea
to take a short cut. She could get to her father’s farm more quickly if she
crossed the fields. But she wasn’t wearing walking shoes, only some old
trainers which already looked like they’d been through a bog. Deciding it was
a better idea to stick to the lanes, she pressed on.
As she’d trudged along the narrow
lanes, she had been all too aware that she was getting closer and closer to the
farm. And the nearer she got to it, the more she had fretted about her
father’s reaction to her return. I’ll always be more Meredith’s daughter than
his, she had thought. Emma’s loyalty to Meredith and her bitterness towards
her father had made the gulf between them grow steadily greater over the years.
Aside from her behaviour, she wondered whether this lack of closeness would
affect his decision on whether to agree to help her or not. She bitterly
regretted burning her bridges with him. He hadn’t deserved her harsh treatment
of him in the years following Meredith’s death. She realised that now.
Finally the lane had turned a
corner and immediately on the left was the turning for the farm. Here goes
nothing, she thought, and purposefully strode towards the turning. There was
no proper road to the farm, only a track. Following its winding trail towards
the farmhouse, Emma had wished that it was ten times longer. As the track
gradually wound its way down the hill, she had felt her stomach dropping away
from her. She knew that at the bottom of the hill, in its own dell, would be
the farmhouse.
How her father responded to her
return would determine the course of the rest of her life. Part of her wished
she still had all the money, living the high life with Natalie and no cares in
the world. But it was futile to wish for what she could never have again. Now
she had a very different, frugal life. Maybe I’m a better person for it, she
thought. At that moment she had caught sight of the lights of the farmhouse glowing
softly through the trees like a comforting beacon. She felt tears pool in her
eyes but didn’t bother to wipe them away. Walking on she approached the
farmhouse, which loomed nearer and nearer until it was directly in front of
her. For better or worse she was home.
With more confidence than she felt she
had walked boldly up to the front door and knocked. There was some banging from
inside and what sounded like someone scrabbling around for something, then a
muffled voice saying, ‘Hang on, I’m coming.’ Her father! Emma waited
nervously by the door, as though she was awaiting her execution. A minute or
more passed and she’d thought she was going to be sick with nerves. Then the
door was thrown open.
‘Hello…’ Her father had stared at
her, his mouth open in shock.
‘Hi, Dad.’ Emma’s throat felt dry
and she struggled to form the words. She could hardly bear to look at him,
instead focusing on a bit of dirt on the carpet in front of her. Then she was
nearly bowled over when her father had suddenly flung his arms around her and
hugged her tightly.
‘Emma, I thought I’d never see you
again,’ he said, his voice muffled in her hair.
‘Dad… I… I’m sorry, so sorry,’ she
said unable to hide her tearfulness. ‘I won’t cause any trouble; I just wanted
to ask if I could work as one of your hired hands. So I can pay my way.’
He let go of her and stepped back
as she spoke. His eyes were full of tears too, but he was smiling at her.
‘Emma, you are and always will be
my daughter. I may not be proud of you for how you’ve behaved, but I love you
and you will always be welcome in my home no matter what. Of course you won’t
work as a hired hand; you’ll live with me here for free as long as you want
to. I didn’t know when I’d see you again and now you’re here – well it’s just
the best Christmas present I could possibly have wished for. Come in now out
of the cold. How did you get here?’ Emma followed him in and he shut the door
behind her.
‘Well I got the train as far as
Exeter and a lift from there to Bodmin. Then the bus to the village and I
walked from there.’
‘In this weather? No wonder you
look frozen. Come into the kitchen and I’ll make a cup of tea.’
She’d followed him to the kitchen
in a daze, almost wondering if he was having a laugh and in a minute would turn
around and tell her to go. But he chatted away to her whilst she sat down at
the table and he prepared some tea and cake.
‘You’re probably too tired to talk
for long now,’ he’d said to her as they had their refreshment. ‘But perhaps
tomorrow you could tell me about what happened in London, what went so wrong
that you lost everything so quickly.’
Emma’s cheeks reddened. This was
what she’d dreaded, having to give an account to anyone – especially her father
– of how she’d been so careless with her money and had spent it as though it
would never run out.
‘Emma, I’m not going to be
judgemental of you for what happened,’ her father said as if reading her mind.
‘I would just like to know what took place in London to put you in this
situation. But not tonight. Tonight we celebrate!’
His eyes had sparkled as he stood
up and took her hand, leading her to the living room where he fished out an old
LP and put it on the record player. The music of The Beatles flooded the room,
and sitting down Emma had marvelled at her father’s reaction to her return. It
was almost too much to take in. Telling her he’d only be a moment, he left the
room for a few minutes. When he had returned there were some people with him,
some of his hired hands who she knew by name but that was about it. She was
embarrassed but the three men and one woman were very friendly and soon she was
conversing with them quite happily.
She’d completely forgotten about her
sister.
Kate was standing in the yard with
her mouth open in shock. She couldn’t believe it. She’d thought her sister
would never return, and now this. Her father was throwing a party to celebrate
Emma returning, according to Tom, the employee she’d just spoken to. Well her
father had certainly neglected to tell her about it. When had this happened… how?
It was all too much to take in. Kate felt exhausted. She’d already been
through so much upheaval. She continued to stand motionless in the yard
debating what to do. Then it was as though a light switched on in her brain. Why
didn’t she just withdraw all her money now, claim her inheritance and go
abroad? Go anywhere to escape her ungrateful family.
She crossed the farmyard and went
into the kitchen pulling off her wellies. She could hear the sound of voices,
her father’s and Emma’s and others she didn’t recognise. Well I hope you’re
having a lovely time with that manipulative bitch, she thought viciously. The
music was loud so Kate was able to creep up the stairs without them hearing.
She darted into her bedroom, changed her jeans, put some shoes on and grabbed
her bag. She slipped quietly downstairs again grabbing her coat, picked up her
car keys from the hook and bolted out the door, leaving it open. She wondered
vaguely where the dogs were, but right now they were her father’s
responsibility. The car keys were in her pocket and she ran over to it,
started the engine and roared off, ignoring her father who’d just come out of
the house waving at her to stop.
Kate drove on blindly and didn’t
see the car ahead of her until its horn blared loudly at her. Her heart
pounding, she stopped the car and got out, adrenalin coursing through her as
she marched to the other car.
‘What the hell do you think you’re
playing at?’ she yelled at the driver.
The car door opened and when Kate
saw who it was she nearly collapsed in shock.
‘Hi, Kate,’ the man said a little
sheepishly as he climbed out. He looked older but it was him. Steven. Kate
felt the shock in her turn to anger.
‘How could you do this to me?’ she
railed at him. ‘It’s been nearly ten years. Ten years and I’ve heard nothing
from you, not a single word. I thought you were dead.’
She flew at him, pounding his chest
with her fists as hard as she could. To her surprise he let her until she had
no energy left. Then she began to sob and he put his arms around her and held
her tightly.
‘I’m so sorry, Kate. I never meant
to be gone so long. But my brother… I didn’t think you would be safe.’
‘Martin told me about Dan,’ Kate
whispered, her head buried into Steven’s chest.
‘Martin is a very brave man,’
Steven declared.
‘What do you mean?’ Kate looked up
at him surprised.
‘He went to my brother’s base and
confronted him, told him to back off.’
‘He did?’
‘Yes. My brother wasn’t expecting
that.’ Steven chuckled. ‘Did you know that he’s got a black belt in Kung Fu?’
Kate nodded.
‘Well Martin told me that when Dan
came to the door, he gave him an ultimatum. Either he left me alone or he would
hurt him. Badly.’
‘What?’ Kate looked aghast.
‘I know.’ Steven’s face was wry.
‘Apparently Dan didn’t believe him at first until Martin grabbed his arm before
he could do anything about it, pinning it behind his back. Martin said that
Dan squealed like a hurt animal. It didn’t take him long to agree after that.’
Kate laughed, a choked sound. Her
nerves were in shreds.
‘After Martin did that Dan was
quick to agree to leave me – and you – alone.’ Steven paused. He seemed to be
fighting to keep himself under control. Kate could hear his heart beating
rapidly. She waited expectantly for him to continue. ‘But Dan is dead now
anyway. He died two days ago. So I’m finally free.’ Steven sounded regretful
but hopeful at the same time.
‘Do you mean that we can be
together now?’ Kate’s voice was muffled in the folds of his jacket.
‘Of course,’ Steven said, tilting
her face up gently to face his. ‘If you’ll have me back, that is.’
‘It’s all I’ve wanted for ten
years,’ she said smiling up at him. ‘I’m sorry your brother is dead.’
‘Don’t be,’ Steven said his face
hard. ‘He lost the right to be my brother in anything but name years ago.’
‘Will your brother’s friends be
after us still?’
‘I don’t think so. Martin’s visit
put the wind up them. Once they realised someone knew where their base was and
he meant business, they didn’t feel as secure. I don’t think they’ll be
staying in Cornwall much longer. There’s nothing down here for them now anyway.’
‘That’s great, Steven. I’m sorry
for yelling at you… and hitting you! It was such a shock to see you here. And
it’s been hell not knowing where you were, if you were alive or dead.’
‘I’m sorry for that. I was trying
to keep you safe by staying away. And my own life was in danger… I’m just glad
you were still here, still waiting for me. I would have understood if you’d
gone off with someone else.’
‘How could I possibly have taken up
with someone else after I’d known you?’
‘You’re right, it’s impossible.’
Steven smirked. Kate gave him a playful punch. ‘But why were you so angry? I
mean I know I was in your way but, Kate, you were driving like a lunatic.’
Her expression darkened. ‘My
sister,’ she said.
‘Emma? What’s she done now?’
‘She’s only come home after
squandering her entire inheritance in eighteen months. And our father seems to
think that’s all fine and dandy, whereas I’m a different story. He doesn’t
appreciate my help on the farm; he thinks I should be doing something else…’
‘Kate I met Emma.’
‘You met her? How? What
happened?’
‘I met her in London. It was
completely random; I was having a meal at a restaurant in Camden when I saw a
girl waitressing who looked so much like you, for a moment I thought it was
you.’
‘Emma waitressing? What happened
to the “fabulous life” in her posh house?’
‘I’ll get to that. We talked and
it turned out when I mentioned your name that she was your sister. So after
she’d finished for the night, we went for a coffee to talk some more. We
talked about you and your dad, how she felt about home. But I think she’s
really changed. She’d got into financial difficulties… she’s lost everything,
probably more now than when I saw her some months ago. I don’t know her of
course, but she’s a different person from the one you described.’
Kate sighed. ‘It doesn’t surprise
me. Well not entirely anyway. She always was a spendthrift. It’s just
galling, the way Dad’s making such a fuss of her after all she’s done and yet he
takes me for granted.’
‘I’m sure that’s not true. Your
father must really appreciate all the work you’ve done on the farm for him all
these years. From what you and your sister have told me about him, it’s clear to
me that he loves you very much.’
‘Well he has a funny way of showing
it, welcoming Emma back like this after all she’s done.’
‘I can understand how you could see
it like that.’ Steven rubbed his gloveless hands together. ‘Kate, I’m getting
cold standing out here. Why don’t we both drive down to the farm and you can
introduce me to your dad?’
‘All right, fine,’ she replied a
little petulantly.
They got into their cars and Kate turned
hers around, heading back to the farm with Steven following her. She parked in
her usual spot in the farmyard with Steven right behind her and got out of the
car. But she didn’t go inside the farmhouse; instead she leant on the bonnet
of the car, staring at the ground as if she could bore a hole in it with her
eyes. Then she felt a hand on her shoulder.
‘Kate, are you all right?’
‘Yes… no… I don’t know.’
Steven turned her gently so that
she was facing him. ‘Kate, look at me.’ She unwillingly raised her head to
see his concerned expression. But there was something a little stern about it
too. ‘Sometimes you’ve just got to let go.’
‘Like you did with Dan?’ she
retorted.
‘That was different.’ Steven
sounded exasperated.
‘I don’t see that it is so
different,’ Kate replied stubbornly. ‘He treated you badly; he very nearly
ruined your life and Emma… OK you’re right, it’s not on the same level. But she
did do wrong by me and Dad, you know. She’s not exactly been whiter than
white.’
‘I’m sure that’s true. But maybe
for your dad’s sake you ought to try to forgive her a little. It seems like he
has.’
‘OK. I’ll try. But I can’t
promise I’ll succeed.’
The front door of the farmhouse was
flung open just then and Kate’s father rushed out to her. She could see behind
him the figure of her sister, silhouetted in the soft light from the house,
standing in the doorway. Kate could just make out an uncertain expression on
her face.
‘Kate, are you all right… Oh
hello.’ Her father stopped in his tracks when he saw Steven.
‘Dad, I’m fine. This is Steven.
Steven, this is my father.’
They greeted each other and shook
hands.
‘Well Steven, Kate, you must come
in. It’s so cold out here.’
Kate gave a resigned sigh and
nodded. Her father took her arm.
‘You mustn’t be angry, Kate. Yes I’ve
accepted Emma back again. She’s changed. I thought I’d never see her again,
but now here she is. It’s as if she had been dead to me, but now she’s alive
again. I want you to be a part of our reconciliation.’
Kate stopped where she was and
stared at the house unseeing. She said nothing for a moment. She could feel
her father’s anxious gaze on her as she thought of what her answer should be.
‘All right, Dad,’ she said finally.
‘But it’ll take me some time to forgive her after all that’s happened. You
have to give me that time.’
‘I understand that, Kate. I know
she’s put us both through a lot. But if we can talk things through as a
family, I think we can put most of our bad experiences behind us.’
Kate nodded. ‘Let’s go inside.
I’m freezing.’
As they walked into the house Emma
came up to her, an anxious expression on her face. She took hold of her hand.
‘I’m sorry, Kate, for everything.
Really I am.’
Kate could see tears glistening in
her sister’s eyes. She knew Emma meant what she said.
‘I believe you,’ she said. ‘But
you must realise that it’s going to take time for me to trust you again.’ Emma
nodded mutely, a lone tear trickling down her cheek. ‘You’re still my sister
but I haven’t forgiven you yet. It may take me a while.’
Kate let go of her hand and pulled
away gently. She rejoined Steven who was chatting with her father.
‘Are you all right?’ he asked her.
‘Yes.’ She smiled up at him.
Everything was falling into place
and for the moment Kate was content. With Emma hot on their heels, they
followed her father into the kitchen for the first of many meals together.
End